John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Here are photos of opium dens in the U.S. from the 1890s, which led to the start of The War on Drugs with the 1909 Smoking Opium Exclusion Act [Interesting]

Wednesday 28 June 23:30:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Waitress saves 9-year-old girl choking on chicken fingers with Heimlich maneuver. How does one calculate 15% on that service? [Hero]

Wednesday 28 June 22:50:05 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man charged with breaking all ten commandments in a single act [Repeat]

Wednesday 28 June 22:20:06 UTC 2017

Repeat [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Step 1. Recover dropped diamond ring. Step 2. Stash diamond ring in rectum. Step 3. profit. Unplanned step 4. Arrested. Ring returned to owner [Asinine]

Wednesday 28 June 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman gives birth on Spirit Airlines flight, immediately charged $50 for an extra carry-on item [Sappy]

Wednesday 28 June 20:50:05 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » See a penny, pick it up, all day long you'll have good luck. Throw a coin into a jet, people will call you a goddamn idiot [Repeat]

Wednesday 28 June 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Repeat [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As some of you know, another Fette has gone Beyond Fark. R.I.P. RockyMom [Sad]

Wednesday 28 June 20:15:44 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these old fashioned incandescent light bulbs [Photoshop]

Wednesday 28 June 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The #1 zoo in the world is asking the public to name its newest addition, a baby seal. Surprisingly, Club has yet to make the list [Cool]

Wednesday 28 June 19:50:06 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just when you thought that state fair food couldn't get any more ridiculous; behold deep fried chewing gum [Sick]

Wednesday 28 June 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pennsylvania couple arrested for turning a park into a foreplayground [Giggity]

Wednesday 28 June 19:00:01 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "A good writer possesses not only his own spirit but also the spirit of his friends." ― Friedrich Nietzsche. Huh, what's the going rate on phylacteries these days? This is your Fark Writer's Thread [CSB]

Wednesday 28 June 18:30:01 UTC 2017

CSB [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » +1 Darwin [Murica]

Wednesday 28 June 18:20:06 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [264 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I have no idea what you're talking about so here's a thumbnail-sized spider that can shoot an 80-foot web to cross rivers (w/video) [Scary]

Wednesday 28 June 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Business owner claims she was personally offended after the TSA fondled her lobster. And thank god that's not a euphemism [Followup]

Wednesday 28 June 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bears in central Pennsylvania suffering from mange, so be careful on Grindr [Creepy]

Wednesday 28 June 16:50:06 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Need to sue your neighbor but can't come up with enough money to start? Crowdfund that dispute [Cool]

Wednesday 28 June 16:20:07 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Point of View

Wednesday 28 June 16:13:34 UTC 2017

Felice Varini’s anamorphic paintings seem senseless until they’re viewed from the right perspective — the key is to find the correct viewpoint. (One clue is that it’s always 1.62 meters from the ground, the artist’s own eye level.) “Varini catches our eye by introducing an anomalous element into our field of vision,” writes Céline Delavaux in The Museum of Illusions. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why does this man climb a cliff in the high Himalayas and contend with giant bees while dangling from worn ropes? For the hallucinogenic honey of course [Scary]

Wednesday 28 June 15:50:08 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » In a Word

Wednesday 28 June 15:46:54 UTC 2017

colluctation
n. strife, conflict, contention perstreperous
adj. noisy superbiate
v. to make proud, arrogant, or haughty supplosion
n. a stamping of the feet New Zealand’s national rugby union team, the All Blacks, performs a haka, a traditional ancestral Māori war cry, before each international match: Leader: Ears open! Get ready! Line up! Stand fast!
Team: Yeah!
Leader: Slap the hands … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman, tired of receiving unsolicited penis photos from a delusional suitor, gets revenge by sending said photos to the man's mother [Awkward]

Wednesday 28 June 15:20:06 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [159 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember the story about Seattle's minimum wage hurting low-paid workers? Yeah, they're actually doing quite fine, thanks for the concern [Followup]

Wednesday 28 June 15:10:08 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [241 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This couple will meet and surpass the 13 lb. babies born recently with this 14.4 lb. behemoth [Spiffy]

Wednesday 28 June 14:43:28 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former NC district attorneys indicted in wife-swap case. Wait, what? [Dumbass]

Wednesday 28 June 14:16:48 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Smelly sprinkler malfunction blesses Long Island high school graduation [Amusing]

Wednesday 28 June 13:50:08 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you had less than 24 hours before Ten Commandments monument on Arkansas capitol grounds gets destroyed, come claim your prize [Murica]

Wednesday 28 June 13:20:07 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [456 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this artistic duo [Photoshop]

Wednesday 28 June 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Q: Is a giant catfish big enough to swallow a human? Media fact checkers: We don't know but here's a fake picture of a massive catfish that's all over the internet [Strange]

Wednesday 28 June 12:47:55 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Okay which one of you aliens put something 'artificial' on Mars that NASA's Curiosity Rover just snapped a picture of? [Strange]

Wednesday 28 June 12:20:07 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [139 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » The King Midget

Wednesday 28 June 12:12:31 UTC 2017

Wikipedia entry here.

[Link]

Weird Universe » Edward Seese Memorial Scholarship

Wednesday 28 June 12:12:30 UTC 2017

When millionaire real estate investor Edward Seese died in March 1995, he left instructions in his will to fund a $4.5 million scholarship at Broward Community College. The recipients of the scholarship, he instructed, were to be high school students who earned a C average. He felt that scholarships typically went to high academic achievers, so the C students had … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 30-year study demonstrates that moderate drinking results in atrophy of the hippocampus. Fortunately, Farkers don't drink moderately, and even when we do, we're probably drinking to forget [Obvious]

Wednesday 28 June 11:32:03 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It only took 28 years, but the CPS has finally gotten around to charging people for the Hillsborough Disaster that caused the deaths of nearly 100 people [Followup]

Wednesday 28 June 11:13:55 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is how you troll Anchorage, Alaska [Amusing]

Wednesday 28 June 11:11:03 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » BBC discovers who has the crappiest coffee [Sick]

Wednesday 28 June 10:36:04 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pro-tip: when spreading a loved one's ashes, do so with the wind and not against it [Awkward]

Wednesday 28 June 10:09:04 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In berating CNN for their (not quite) false Russia story, Fox News host asks if you could just imagine the reaction if Fox News had the audacity to push a bogus story about the president's birth certificate just for ratings (which they did) [Face

Wednesday 28 June 10:05:35 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [216 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Maine confirms its first measles case in 20 years. If only scientists would get off their ivory tower asses and develop something that could have prevented this from happening again [Scary]

Wednesday 28 June 9:38:03 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Things in Venezuela are getting a bit coup-y as a helicopter pilot flies over their Supreme Court building to shoot at it and drop grenades [Scary]

Wednesday 28 June 9:28:02 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you reported a sexual assault to the Austin, TX PD any time in the last 26 years, they'd like you to know they're finally getting around to running the DNA from the rape kit [Sad]

Wednesday 28 June 8:40:02 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Third time is not the charm [Scary]

Wednesday 28 June 7:35:01 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » False online reviews are a problem everywhere. But Detroit takes the threats to the next level [Scary]

Wednesday 28 June 6:28:54 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The latest cause of depression? Parents who worry about their child's bedtime habits [PSA]

Wednesday 28 June 6:12:11 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The last subway derailment this serious was the end of the Jared Fogle ad campaign [Sad]

Wednesday 28 June 5:32:58 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I have an interview tomorrow at 4pm. I haven't been on a job interview since 1994. It's a program manager position at a 3PL provider. Any tips would be appreciated [Scary]

Wednesday 28 June 3:46:59 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [177 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tip: if you're traveling with a load of stolen guns you're hoping to trade for meth, the probation and parole office parking lot is not a wise place to fall asleep in your car [Dumbass]

Wednesday 28 June 3:15:19 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mom pushes her annoying youngster down a steep slope but she doesn't get arrested. Because she's a Panda [Amusing]

Wednesday 28 June 3:05:54 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ohio BMV asks the Internet to name its new logo. Let's help them. Difficulty: No Platey McPlateface [Obvious]

Wednesday 28 June 2:43:17 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Suspect hands 'get out of jail free' Monopoly card to deputy, winds up having to wait three turns and pay $50 to get out anyway [Facepalm]

Wednesday 28 June 2:38:43 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Maybe this Florida deputy didn't think having porn on his phone along with racist and sexist images, having an interoffice affair, and taking pictures of his genitals while on duty would be a firing offense [Florida]

Wednesday 28 June 2:31:47 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In a bid to out-stupid his rival, Florida Man, Ohio Man arrested for physically abusing his wife with one of his prosthetic legs [Strange]

Wednesday 28 June 2:31:24 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Three women go on wild shopping spree, get $10,000 of merchandise… wait, did I say shopping? I meant shoplifting. It was a spree, is what I'm saying [Florida]

Wednesday 28 June 2:21:35 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Semi-naked man nabbed after ramming into several cars in Johor" [Awkward]

Wednesday 28 June 2:04:26 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chicago indicts three police officers in relation to the Laquan McDonald shooting. Trials and eventual acquittals not yet scheduled [Followup]

Wednesday 28 June 1:47:18 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The best place to view this summer's total eclipse is in Nebraska, where every now and then it gets a little bit lonely [Cool]

Wednesday 28 June 1:42:54 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you were born between 1977 and 1983, it has been decreed that you ACTUALLY belong to the "Xennial" Generation. That should solve this debate once and for all [Facepalm]

Wednesday 28 June 1:31:37 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sir do yo know how fast you were going? No, scratch that. Sir, would you care to explain HOW you were going that fast? [Strange]

Wednesday 28 June 1:30:09 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New York Times taste-test of 10 hot dog brands chock full of tube steaks, loathsome pretentiousness [Stupid]

Wednesday 28 June 1:19:35 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Swear to god, if I have to spend one more day in Winnipeg I'm gonna punch someone right in the face [Stupid]

Wednesday 28 June 1:13:01 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman makes it 80 years without being attacked by a rabid Bobcat in the face [Scary]

Wednesday 28 June 0:55:52 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Bridesmaids being asked to pay for their own dresses. New hotness: Bridesmaids being asked to chip in for the bride's gown [Awkward]

Wednesday 28 June 0:38:43 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Frankly, my dear, the word 'damn' enters movie history this day in 1939 at the cost of $5,000 [Interesting]

Wednesday 28 June 0:21:35 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cat-naming thread plz. PIT ASAP [Survey]

Wednesday 28 June 0:13:32 UTC 2017

Survey [link] [221 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Massive Asian Carp is the name of my Mississippi blues band [Strange]

Wednesday 28 June 0:04:26 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this broken glass [Photoshop]

Wednesday 28 June 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

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