Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » No charges filed in shooting death of Casper man. Well, he's a friendly ghost now [Murica]

Tuesday 27 June 23:47:18 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Good: Man helps lost girl try and find family at park. Bad: Man is mistaken for kidnapper and beaten, only to be later cleared by police. WTFark: Inattentive parents Facebook shame man for helping their daughter [Florida]

Tuesday 27 June 23:30:09 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Passengers will please refrain from tossing coins into the plane's engine for "good luck" [Facepalm]

Tuesday 27 June 23:13:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Today at Fark University, an instructional video demonstrating pretty much everything you should not do when photographing an alligator [Dumbass]

Tuesday 27 June 22:55:52 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Tucker Fire threatens I-95. See, that's what happens when you spin a bow tie too fast [Florida]

Tuesday 27 June 22:38:44 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Spirits of the Departed

Tuesday 27 June 22:22:04 UTC 2017

A wine merchant has three sons. When he dies, he leaves them seven barrels that are full of wine, seven that are half-full, and seven that are empty. His will requires that each son receive the same number of full, half-full, and empty barrels. Can this be done? SelectClick for Answer Yes. Combine four of the half-full barrels to make … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oscar Mayer expands WienerFleet – adding WienerDrone and WienerCycle [Weeners]

Tuesday 27 June 22:18:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Please note: when you tent your house to kill termites, make sure other pests can't find their way inside [Florida]

Tuesday 27 June 21:58:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » How do you put pants on a dog? One leg at a time. Now, why you'd do that is another story [Strange]

Tuesday 27 June 21:34:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man dragging dead raccoon down road on a rope gets in argument with passersby that leads to shooting. That rural enough for ya? [Asinine]

Tuesday 27 June 21:10:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Several major Russian, European and U.S. companies report massive attack on their IT systems. They're working to resolve the issue, but it's tricky [News]

Tuesday 27 June 21:00:59 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Quintessential Englishman gets hit by a bus, gets up and immediately walks into a pub [Amusing]

Tuesday 27 June 20:40:44 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » A Twist in History

Tuesday 27 June 20:38:19 UTC 2017

Image: Wikimedia Commons Swiss artist Max Bill conceived the Möbius strip independently of August Möbius, who discovered it in 1858. Bill called his figure Eindeloze Kronkel (“Endless Ribbon”), after the symbol of infinity, , and began to exhibit it in various sculptures in the 1930s. He recalled in a 1972 interview: I was fascinated by a new discovery of mine, a loop … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » On the great tragedy and defining meme of our time: Being milkshake ducked [Interesting]

Tuesday 27 June 20:14:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this wet surf [Photoshop]

Tuesday 27 June 20:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » No I did not snort cocaine, the reason I tested positive is because I had sex with a really sweaty guy who was high on cocaine [Facepalm]

Tuesday 27 June 19:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The Turtle sees his shadow, portending several more weeks of Trumpcare uncertainty [NewsFlash]

Tuesday 27 June 19:41:43 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Along with the FARK commemorative license plate, Georgia bans 'Covfefe' vanity license plates [Silly]

Tuesday 27 June 19:40:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » WopWopWopWopWop…PEW PEW PEW…WopWopWopWopWop [Cool]

Tuesday 27 June 19:20:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Queen Elizabeth II is getting a raise this year that would make even an American CEO blush [Interesting]

Tuesday 27 June 19:08:34 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Colorado schools offer firearms training to teachers in case of school shootings. To keep things safe, they're apparently issuing Glocks with no magazines (see first photo) [Fail]

Tuesday 27 June 18:50:07 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Today's tank parade mishap is brought to you by Belarus and this T-72 [Fail]

Tuesday 27 June 18:37:13 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Oklahoma City zoo welcomes cutest bundle of baby squeee you'll see all day [Sappy]

Tuesday 27 June 18:08:31 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Florida man sits in jail for 3 months because that's how long it takes Florida to determine if a white powder they found in your car is sheet rock dust or cocaine [Florida]

Tuesday 27 June 17:38:32 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "I'm not saying I saw an alien during a traffic stop, but it is an alien I encountered" [Weird]

Tuesday 27 June 17:10:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Mitch McConnell issues an urgent warning to the White House, staff, and colleagues that unless they pass the healthcare bill this week, he will have to do the unthinkable: "be forced to work with Chuck Schumer" and gasp COMPROMISE [Sad]

Tuesday 27 June 16:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Redstone Arsenal active shooter drill JUST GOT REAL [News]

Tuesday 27 June 16:33:14 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Rule 1 of Stripper Prison Dance Party is you do not take pictures of Stripper Prison Dance Party. And someone broke Rule 1 [Giggity]

Tuesday 27 June 16:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » CA regulators pass law requiring Monsanto to put warning labels on Roundup saying that its main ingredient, glyphosate, causes cancer. But does it have GMOs? And what's a little cancer when it comes to killing dandelions, anyway? Farking dandelio

Tuesday 27 June 16:16:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "The last thing I remember is drinking 4 Lokos" is a phrase said most often said by: A) Florida Man B) Florida Man C) Florida Man [Florida]

Tuesday 27 June 15:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Bring out your dead………..Bring out your dead [PSA]

Tuesday 27 June 15:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Jury selection in the Martin "Pharma Bro" Shkreli trial off to a slow start, as jurors say he is "an evil man" and "kind of looks like a dick" [Followup]

Tuesday 27 June 14:50:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » For those of you keeping score at home, Bigfoot may now be in northwestern Pennsylvania. 'This thing was not a bear' [Unlikely]

Tuesday 27 June 14:16:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Almost 1,000 earthquakes at Yellowstone in 2 weeks and still no Armageddon. Just erupt already and end us all [Scary]

Tuesday 27 June 13:42:29 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Who still runs WinXP? That bioassay device over there. That medical device thataway. The UK's biggest warship. The CNC ma… wait, what was that? [Facepalm]

Tuesday 27 June 13:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this wet tongue [Photoshop]

Tuesday 27 June 13:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Study: Teenagers who use marijuana regularly are much more likely than nonusers to go on to use cocaine, hallucinogens, and dangerous substances such as tobacco and alcohol [Interesting]

Tuesday 27 June 12:50:04 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Conehead Sumo Wrestlers

Tuesday 27 June 12:38:00 UTC 2017

1994: The Japan Sumo Association finally got around to banning the practice, apparently quite common among young sumo wrestlers, of implanting lumps of silicone beneath their scalp in order to meet the minimum height requirement of 5 feet 8 inches. The Association probably wouldn't have done anything if they hadn't become embarrassed by media reports of conehead wrestlers.

Before the … [Link]

Weird Universe » Blind Man’s Penis

Tuesday 27 June 12:30:00 UTC 2017

The full story here.

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Fark.com RSS » TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT [Facepalm]

Tuesday 27 June 11:43:09 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Starbucks employee makes fun of customer's pro-Trump t-shirt, so group of Trumpkins shows up to buy more coffee from Starbucks in protest. That'll learn 'em [Asinine]

Tuesday 27 June 10:22:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » A marker for Emmett Till on the Mississippi Freedom Trail has been vandalized twice in the past month. Fellas, come on. We have to be better than this [Sad]

Tuesday 27 June 9:31:42 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Well, he certainly looks the part [Florida]

Tuesday 27 June 8:54:55 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » I have a robin fledgling in my fenced backyard where my cats and dogs prowl. I saved it today, but how long is it likely to be stuck on the ground? My animals typically go out back, but I want to keep them at bay until it leaves [Misc]

Tuesday 27 June 7:33:34 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » You complain about receiving cold chicken. You have a discussion with the restaurant and the owner decides to refund you the money. That should be the end of it right? [Sick]

Tuesday 27 June 4:25:56 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Substitute teacher in Missouri found that teacher/student sex laws also apply to substitutes [Weeners]

Tuesday 27 June 2:26:03 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for being worst boat captain since the Costa Concordia, by managing to beach stolen boat at full speed while not even in it [Florida]

Tuesday 27 June 2:02:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Southwest Airlines passenger who broke pieces off emergency door trying to open it at altitude 'appeared unstable.' Gee, ya think? [Scary]

Tuesday 27 June 2:01:54 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Actual headline: Riderless Amish buggy and one VERY tired horse stopped by police in Apple Creek [Amusing]

Tuesday 27 June 1:14:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Changing from fuse boxes to circuit breakers: what price should I expect, and what all needs replaced? (wiring, just the boxes, etc) [Dumbass]

Tuesday 27 June 1:13:09 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Any of you Farkers use Blue Apron or other ingredient-delivery subscription? What do you think? [Misc]

Tuesday 27 June 1:03:58 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Today's teacher student sex scandal involves a middle school teacher who thought her car was a good place for extracurricular activities [Obvious]

Tuesday 27 June 0:40:12 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Five guys take the same photo for 35 years and damn we're all getting old [Sappy]

Tuesday 27 June 0:26:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » What ad-blocker do you run on your phone? I need some halp, as I'm old, and have a galaxy 5, and could use your advice as well as a short tutorial on how to install it. Thanks [Spiffy]

John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons