John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » "There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." -Ernest Hemingway. Man, the best I can manage some days is sitting at a keyboard and drooling. This is your Fark Writer's Thread [CSB]

Wednesday 21 June 23:34:49 UTC 2017

CSB [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stabbing reported at Bishop Airport, possibly after they pushed him into doing that crazy alien knife trick again [Scary]

Wednesday 21 June 22:50:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » High school valedictorian gives the graduation speech we all wish we gave [Spiffy]

Wednesday 21 June 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New York's MTA off to a rocky start with new driverless bus experiment [Scary]

Wednesday 21 June 22:16:44 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wanna play darts? No. Pool? No. Oh, I know what we can do: drink and throw axes [Amusing]

Wednesday 21 June 21:46:45 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida woman who intentionally let a snake bite her toddler has learned her valuable lesson: to not put video of it up on Facebook [Followup]

Wednesday 21 June 21:16:45 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Be smart and stay safe to all the Gulf Coast Farkers [Followup]

Wednesday 21 June 20:50:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You can get all sorts of shady deals from strangers in parking lots: someone selling speakers out of a van, cheap steaks from a suspicious truck, Florida women trying to give away toddlers [Florida]

Wednesday 21 June 20:20:06 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this boy and his moon [Photoshop]

Wednesday 21 June 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dwight Howard hosts a Twitter Q and A about various NBA trade rumors. Guess what happens to him five minutes later [Ironic]

Wednesday 21 June 19:54:46 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's 106 miles to Myrtle Beach we've got a full tank of gas, pot, cocaine, liquor, 50 liters of beer, $3,600, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it [Amusing]

Wednesday 21 June 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Colorado just legalized texting while driving, as long as you're not driving in "a careless or imprudent manner" [Spiffy]

Wednesday 21 June 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [153 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NATO to Russia: Don't f*ck with us, comrade. *buzzes defence minister's plane* [Followup]

Wednesday 21 June 19:10:44 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » All you guys who complain about websites being "broken" because you disabled Javascript, now's your time to shine [Creepy]

Wednesday 21 June 19:05:04 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The words "international gun smuggling scheme" and "Free library" don't often go together, unless that library straddles an international border [Strange]

Wednesday 21 June 18:40:44 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Too stressed out or embarrassed to join a Yoga class? Then Beer Yoga is for you [Silly]

Wednesday 21 June 18:16:44 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Louisiana hunkers down and braces for possible closures of drive-thru daiquiri stands as Tropical Storm Cindy meanders in [PSA]

Wednesday 21 June 18:04:32 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Iran has banned zumba as part of its attempt to completely cleanse the country of joy [Sad]

Wednesday 21 June 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Subby knows a Filipina stripper who can aim, fire & reload [Weird]

Wednesday 21 June 17:16:47 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Otto Warmbier's family declines autopsy, possibly because they're still alive [Followup]

Wednesday 21 June 16:46:47 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [150 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The most treacherous battle of World War I was one you've never heard of. It was called the Battle of the Dolomites, and it happened in the mountains of Italy [Interesting]

Wednesday 21 June 16:20:07 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police discover that the DC baseball shooter had enough ammo stored away to sweep the series [Scary]

Wednesday 21 June 16:11:54 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [191 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Elevation

Wednesday 21 June 16:07:07 UTC 2017

In the early 20th century, inspired by the scientific hope that the mind could evolve to ever-higher levels of consciousness, Russian poets tried to paint this higher reality with paradoxical statements that defied common sense. This movement reached its apotheosis in 1913 when Aleksei Kruchenykh wrote “Dyr bul shchyl,” an untranslatable arrangement of letters on a page. Kruchenykh added the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » All caught on dashcam: California deputies pull over wayward llama that escaped from the llama prison and beat it senseless. Just kidding, they rescue it after offering it 'verbal counseling' [Silly]

Wednesday 21 June 15:50:05 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Juicero not dumb enough for you? How about a $400 device that pours hot water over tea leaves? [Stupid]

Wednesday 21 June 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [137 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pro-tip: If you are breaking into a house, don't sleep there [Fail]

Wednesday 21 June 14:50:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Have You Tried Yoga?

Wednesday 21 June 14:23:46 UTC 2017

Secretary, exasperated: Dennis's thing is just not fitting in my slot properly! Melville, New York [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mother shocked that airline strands her 17-year-old son in airport overnight. Fark: She booked him on Spirit [Dumbass]

Wednesday 21 June 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [214 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Illinois comptroller: "The state can no longer function without a …budget without severely impacting our core obligations and decimating services to the state's most in-need citizens." They haven't had a budget for 3 years [Fail]

Wednesday 21 June 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [194 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » President swallows wasp

Wednesday 21 June 13:36:35 UTC 2017

A few days ago, a wasp flew into the mouth of Luis Guillermo Solis, the president of Costa Rica, while he was outside speaking to reporters. Solis swallowed it. Then he declared (in Spanish), "I ate it. I ate the wasp." More info at wtnh.com.

I'd like to see more politicians gulping insects out of the air like frogs as … [Link]

Weird Universe » The Eager Beaver Truck

Wednesday 21 June 13:36:34 UTC 2017

Article here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pun-masters duke it out in Brooklyn at the Punderdome, still can't get their lame submissions greenlit [Amusing]

Wednesday 21 June 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these bottles [Photoshop]

Wednesday 21 June 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ah the groovy Summer of Love in 1967 was the world's greatest hippyfest, but what inspired it besides all the drugs? [Interesting]

Wednesday 21 June 12:56:13 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♫The Duke, Duke, Duke… Duke is ill ♪ [Sick]

Wednesday 21 June 12:50:05 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Michael Brown's family settles their lawsuit with the city of Ferguson, Missouri [Followup]

Wednesday 21 June 11:34:16 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [222 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man supports and hold hands with his smoking hot wife during her trial for raping and sodomizing her middle school student. Dude needs a wake up call [Dumbass]

Wednesday 21 June 10:38:56 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [251 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pete Puma pissed people preempt his pigouts [Misc]

Wednesday 21 June 10:36:56 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mama Affluenza's bond revoked [Followup]

Wednesday 21 June 10:21:53 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 9-year-old has his act together, saves his mom's life [Hero]

Wednesday 21 June 8:42:56 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman rants about wanting to see a white doctor for her son. Since this was in Canada, she had to go on a six-month waiting list [Sick]

Wednesday 21 June 7:10:05 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [216 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Iowa police closer to finding man who went missing two years ago. One foot closer [Strange]

Wednesday 21 June 6:31:56 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Venezuela changes its name to Grand Fenwick [Facepalm]

Wednesday 21 June 4:17:11 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mindblowing 'couch art' pays tribute to Chicago police officer, at least until the dog jumps on it [Cool]

Wednesday 21 June 2:56:31 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Calgary residents are encouraged to go swinging by this confused weatherman [Amusing]

Wednesday 21 June 2:55:54 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Animal lovers in Britain share ways to keep their doggies and moggies cool during national heat crisis. "A cat appears to be confused at the sight of an ice cube in their bowl of water" [Amusing]

Wednesday 21 June 2:48:09 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just in time for Nope: Pizza flavored ice cream [Weird]

Wednesday 21 June 2:31:01 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jumping into the Missouri River is not a good escape route from a bank robbery, Mr. Fake Beard bandit [PSA]

Wednesday 21 June 2:22:18 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police investigating after two bodies found at Chattanooga cemetery. Fear more bodies may be found [Obvious]

Wednesday 21 June 2:19:12 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NPR explains why you should be playing video games right now [Cool]

Wednesday 21 June 2:13:52 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Student science experiment which launches egg 96,000 feet into the air to study atmosphere deemed an unforgettable success. No word on the success of the follow up egg drop experiment [Cool]

Wednesday 21 June 2:07:10 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Senior student yearbook portrait: "I'm sorry, did my shoulders distract you from reading this quote?" [Amusing]

Wednesday 21 June 1:59:28 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ISIS chief cleric killed by US-led coalition forces. ISIS chief paladin still at large [Spiffy]

Wednesday 21 June 1:56:44 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The new Ken doll will feature corn rows, a beefier bod, and a variety of skin tones. Still no genitalia, though [Interesting]

Wednesday 21 June 1:39:35 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Coast Guard airlifts man with stroke symptoms from cruise ship, over constant protests that he was perfectly fine, he was great, he was the President of the United States [Misc]

Wednesday 21 June 1:22:27 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sanford hit-and-run suspect claims victim 'said she was OK,' claims he only left when she called him a big dummy [Florida]

Wednesday 21 June 1:05:18 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fire Controlman 1st Class Gary Rehm, three months short of retirement, saved 20 sailors from a flooding compartment on the Fitzgerald. He drowned after he went back in for the last six of his "kids." "He said, 'If my kids die, I'm

Wednesday 21 June 0:50:41 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [130 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man sets mousetrap to nab mail-stealing neighbor, catches postal worker instead [Florida]

Wednesday 21 June 0:48:09 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alaskan Orca gangs: Nice boatful of fish you have. It would be a Shamu if something happened to it [Interesting]

Wednesday 21 June 0:31:01 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A Texas federal judge has to decide whether a painted body is a nude body after painted Texas dancers are putting up a fight against a $5 entry fee state tax, commonly known as the "pole tax" [Interesting]

Wednesday 21 June 0:13:52 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: If vacation brochures actually told the truth [Photoshop]

Wednesday 21 June 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

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