John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Lucky couple gets back $100,000 in cash they accidentally donated to Goodwill. They then returned to the first season of Better Call Saul [Strange]

Tuesday 20 June 23:56:44 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Partnership

Tuesday 20 June 23:41:37 UTC 2017

In a diary entry in 1843, Sir Oswald Brierly, manager of the whaling station at Twofold Bay in southeast Australia, noted a strange cooperative relationship that had grown up between killer whales and the local whalers: They [the killer whales] attack the [humpback] whales in packs and seem to enter keenly into the sport, plunging about the [whaling] boat and … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man jailed for doing a poor Michael Jackson impression [Dumbass]

Tuesday 20 June 23:39:35 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Even if the shot glasses are just the right size for him, don't bring your infant to a bar. And don't do shots while breastfeeding him there either [Asinine]

Tuesday 20 June 23:22:27 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thar's gold in them thar hills. Thar's gold miners in them thar bears [Scary]

Tuesday 20 June 23:05:18 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Please note: if you've recently purchased tomatoes from Food 4 Less, you may want to replace them with others without so much rat in them [Sick]

Tuesday 20 June 22:48:10 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark-ready headline: "Why I quit the city and moved to rural France to rear pigs." Not that there's anything wrong with that [Giggity]

Tuesday 20 June 22:33:10 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police release dash-cam footage of Philando Castille murder (Warning: Graphic) [Scary]

Tuesday 20 June 22:18:10 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [471 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Americans no longer allowed on North Korean tours, will have to content themselves with less exciting trips to Cambodian minefields, Mexican drug cartel headquarters, or maybe quick jaunts running guns across the Khyber Pass [Followup]

Tuesday 20 June 22:02:10 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I don't want to alarm you or anything, but the Yellowstone supervolcano has been hit by at least 400 earthquakes since June 12 [Scary]

Tuesday 20 June 21:46:10 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chicago Transit Authority:"Ohio will be eliminated" [Scary]

Tuesday 20 June 21:31:10 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Snake slithers from hood as pickup travels down highway. Driver and passenger provide hysterical commentary [Video]

Tuesday 20 June 21:16:10 UTC 2017

Video [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You'd think is there was ONE JOB where you would insist your benefits package included health insurance, it would be "Bodyguard for a White Supremacist Internet Troll" [Fail]

Tuesday 20 June 21:01:10 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [185 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study finds that subby has more emergency savings between his couch cushions than 24% of Americans have in their savings account [Fail]

Tuesday 20 June 20:46:10 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » VA police are now saying that the killing of Muslim girl in Sterling was not a hate crime but "road rage" stemming from a traffic incident, which the family is just a mite skeptical of because she and her friends were ON FOOT at the time [Fol

Tuesday 20 June 20:29:01 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [141 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I know they say that everything is bigger in Texas but that still doesn't make a lizard look like an alligator [Facepalm]

Tuesday 20 June 20:11:53 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: Normal household items suddenly gain sentience [Photoshop]

Tuesday 20 June 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russian fighter jet comes within 5 feet of US reconnaissance plane over Baltic Sea. No word if Tom Cruise was 'communicating' or 'keeping up foreign relations' [Scary]

Tuesday 20 June 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brussels train station explosion sees suspect 'with explosives belt' shot by troops as passengers flee [NewsFlash]

Tuesday 20 June 19:49:40 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This just in: new study shows that men cheat because they just can't resist hot chicks [Obvious]

Tuesday 20 June 19:39:27 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The US banned the depiction of living people on currency in 1866 after a treasury superintendent decided to put his own portrait on a five-cent note [Amusing]

Tuesday 20 June 19:19:27 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Big collection of Nazi artifacts found in Argentina, but no soup recipes [Spiffy]

Tuesday 20 June 19:00:59 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 10 year-old develops tool for saving kids left in hot cars. It automatically tasers the parents if they accidentally lock their car with a kid inside – and then makes the parents stand in the corner with a dunce cap [Cool]

Tuesday 20 June 18:42:32 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man legally changes his last name to Trump. No plans yet to begin 24/7 tweeting [Strange]

Tuesday 20 June 18:26:32 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Work detail guard collapses. Prisoners immediately escape. Just kidding, they performed CPR and called an ambulance [Hero]

Tuesday 20 June 18:10:32 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mugshot of the day brought to you by Gold Glove homeowner [Dumbass]

Tuesday 20 June 17:54:32 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Hampshire teens attack Boston favorite "Keytar Bear". So this is how the Civil War starts [Asinine]

Tuesday 20 June 17:38:32 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mysterious time capsule found in Florida. No one knows what's in it, but since it was found under a 106-year-old statue of a Confederate soldier, we can assume it's instructions on what to do once the South Rises Again [Florida]

Tuesday 20 June 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If we ban smartphones for children under 13 then only criminals under 13 will have smartphones [Asinine]

Tuesday 20 June 17:07:12 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [123 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Washington State Police to clamp down on the scourge of our times. That's right, left lane campers, your time has come [Hero]

Tuesday 20 June 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [255 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Ambiguous Horseman

Tuesday 20 June 16:48:04 UTC 2017

From a 1904 poster: Is the horseman riding away from you, or toward you? A similar illusion with a moving image. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why is an elderly man stealing plants from my garden at 2:30am? [Video]

Tuesday 20 June 16:38:33 UTC 2017

Video [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nothing says good luck like a dried lizard penis [Weeners]

Tuesday 20 June 16:20:06 UTC 2017

Weeners [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » British English. It's not all codswallop. Balderdash to the left. Wazzocks to the right [Interesting]

Tuesday 20 June 16:06:46 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You witness a shooting in a restaurant with your daughter. Do you a) duck for cover under the table b) run out the emergency door c) order the suspect to the ground and keep him there until police arrive. Fark: WITHOUT A WEAPON [Florida]

Tuesday 20 June 15:46:46 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bo Dukes indicted. Luke, Uncle Jesse last seen leaving Cooter's place [Interesting]

Tuesday 20 June 15:20:06 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » EF-0 tornado touches in Maryland. EF-0? So, what, some hummingbirds were flying in a circle or something? Good luck with the rebuild, guys [Scary]

Tuesday 20 June 14:20:06 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » You Thought the SATs Were Over in High School?

Tuesday 20 June 14:16:41 UTC 2017

Therapist #1: The client missed 80% of his appointments over the past two months.
Therapist #2: He was supposed to have 80% of his sessions in two months!? Washoe Valley, Nevada [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Carjacker foiled by own stupidity of not knowing how to drive a manual shift car [Facepalm]

Tuesday 20 June 13:50:06 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [114 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Zzyzx Road

Tuesday 20 June 13:45:08 UTC 2017

If you ever drive from LA to Las Vegas, you'll encounter Zzyzx Road just outside of Baker, CA.

Many people wonder about the origin of this name. It came about, indirectly, because of the invention of the telephone, which led to the publication of phone directories, which then led people to want to have either the first or last name … [Link]

Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #318

Tuesday 20 June 13:45:07 UTC 2017

I don't get it. Is "nimble as an ox" good or bad, the before or after status of fueling up with their gas?

Original ad here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Steve Bannon, on why White House briefings are now routinely held off-camera: "Sean got fatter" [Awkward]

Tuesday 20 June 13:35:53 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [179 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Zima is back [Spiffy]

Tuesday 20 June 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Plus-size model poses in bathing suit to 'offend' body-shamers, actually looks great in it [Giggity]

Tuesday 20 June 13:20:04 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [282 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these empty clothes [Photoshop]

Tuesday 20 June 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Corporate owners of "Captain Morgan" rum are a little suspicious of rival product "Admiral Nelson." Judge orders duel with pistols at ten paces [Obvious]

Tuesday 20 June 12:50:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » British tourists find out they can't claim 'food poisoning' from the resort's buffet after ordering 109 drinks while on holiday [Dumbass]

Tuesday 20 June 12:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Grandma "enraged" that when paying $400 instead of $3000 for a plane ticket, you have to share a lavatory with the poors in coach [Dumbass]

Tuesday 20 June 11:51:18 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [155 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's very rewarding to adopt a senior dog because they're already housebroken, they don't need much exercise, and they get movie tickets at discount prices [Spiffy]

Tuesday 20 June 11:12:30 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An army of cats protects a museum. "We knock more things off of desks, shelves, and tables before 9 AM than most people do in a day" [Cool]

Tuesday 20 June 10:38:30 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In Maine it's perfectly legal to catch too many fish and dump the rotting carcasses of the ones you don't want in the bay [Sick]

Tuesday 20 June 10:36:31 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australian man fined for kicking the quokka, and no, that's not some bizarre Down Under expression for wanking [Strange]

Tuesday 20 June 9:33:30 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some folk'll never steal a toe, but then again some folk'll (severed human toe image warning) [Strange]

Tuesday 20 June 8:08:30 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former Kentucky & NBA star Rex Chapman writes a moving story about his addiction to opioids. Addiction sucks. So does Duke [Interesting]

Tuesday 20 June 5:54:21 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New survey shows that the majority of women like being sexually harassed. No, wait. It shows that the majority of men *think* women like being sexually harassed. Meh, same diff [Obvious]

Tuesday 20 June 3:56:19 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [205 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boinking couple fail to come up for air [Fail]

Tuesday 20 June 3:13:06 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rube Goldberg's apparently now getting into the car demolition business [Fail]

Tuesday 20 June 2:53:12 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "The mishmash of marijuana laws in the three neighboring jurisdictions can be confusing for a concertgoer determined to smoke a joint." Right. Because local marijuana laws are what concertgoers think about before lighting up a joint [Unlikely

Tuesday 20 June 2:50:03 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » To Bill Clinton: Happy Father's Day … from your son [Awkward]

Tuesday 20 June 2:48:15 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drunk man rides his bicycle into a parked police cruiser and gets charged with drug possession, not having a light or horn on his (now broken) bike. Says he meant to do that [Dumbass]

Tuesday 20 June 2:15:46 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seven weeks out from Burning Man, and the playa is still a giant mud puddle [Followup]

Tuesday 20 June 1:13:02 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alternate juror for the Cosby speaks out about the deliberation process, "We had a hard time deciding where to go for dinner" [Awkward]

Tuesday 20 June 1:07:12 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shy 48-year-old civil servant unrepentant about marrying working prostitute he hired for night's romp, says his mum approves of the match. "It's a job. She's having sex but she's not making love. Not like we do" [Sappy]

Tuesday 20 June 1:06:16 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Add fatbergs to your list of things to look out for at beaches, and it's not just all the overweight sunbathers [Scary]

Tuesday 20 June 0:32:55 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want to have a kinky threesome with your SO and someone else? Here are the top 10 U.S. states for having one …or two [Giggity]

Tuesday 20 June 0:12:09 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this puppet master [Photoshop]

Tuesday 20 June 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

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