John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Elon Musk publishes plan for conquering a world [Spiffy]

Friday 16 June 23:50:05 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you go to an illegal gravel pit party, you might be a redneck [Silly]

Friday 16 June 23:20:05 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're an algebra teacher, someone might recognize you if you sell heroin near the school [Fail]

Friday 16 June 22:20:06 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An entitled billionaire oil tycoon pulls a jackass move with his yacht? Color me shocked [Dumbass]

Friday 16 June 21:50:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » More adults have died from eating laundry pods than kids. Why adults are eating either one remains a mystery [Scary]

Friday 16 June 21:40:45 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Snortable Chocolate Arrives in U.S. Stores [Florida]

Friday 16 June 21:10:45 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What's more dangerous than a shark with a frikken laser? Michael Phelps [Amusing]

Friday 16 June 20:44:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jury finds that it's okay for a cop to murder an innocent man if that cop is nervous [NewsFlash]

Friday 16 June 20:33:24 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [695 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's an odd blip for ya. Apparently, Mike Pence's lawyer is James Comey's daughter's Godfather. Also, I am my son's uncle. I mean that quite literally [Interesting]

Friday 16 June 20:16:47 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these cactus plushies [Photoshop]

Friday 16 June 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Swedish brewery name brew 'F*** you I'm Millwall' after football fan who fought off three knife-wielding terrorists during the London terror attack earlier this month [Hero]

Friday 16 June 19:46:45 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists stunned by Antarctic rainfall and a melt area bigger than Texas. It's almost as if the climate is changing somehow, maybe even getting warmer. Did anyone know about this? [Interesting]

Friday 16 June 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [259 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: Scientists sent a flatworm to space and it came back with two heads. Fark: Researchers tried amputating them, leaving a headless middle fragment, but both of the heads just grew back on all three pieces. Everyone sleep well tonight [Creepy]

Friday 16 June 18:46:45 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So what is this sea creature that researchers are stumped by? [Cool]

Friday 16 June 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jury determines that the value of a left testicle is $870,000 [Followup]

Friday 16 June 17:50:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Breatharian" couple claims to have lived for nine years without food and instead are sustained solely by the energy of the universe [Unlikely]

Friday 16 June 17:49:49 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [147 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Starting Over

Friday 16 June 17:33:47 UTC 2017

In February 1965, Omaha TV announcer John “Fritz” Johnson was attending an archery tournament in Chicago when a young woman approached him and asked, “Pardon me, but aren’t you my uncle, Larry Bader, who disappeared seven years ago?” Amazingly, he was. Lawrence Joseph Bader had been a cookware salesman in Akron until March 15, 1957, when he’d gone fishing on … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Girl who convinced her boyfriend to commit suicide so she could play the grieving girlfriend to get attention and sympathy has been found guilty of manslaughter [Followup]

Friday 16 June 17:19:49 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [349 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theresa May couldn't meet with Grenfell Tower victims due to security concerns. The Queen: "Hold my crown" [Spiffy]

Friday 16 June 17:15:49 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [142 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Helmut Kohl, chancellor who reunited Germany, dies at 87 [Sad]

Friday 16 June 17:10:15 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Amazon to buy Whole Foods in order to deliver kale by drone into your smug, hipster face hole [PSA]

Friday 16 June 17:10:15 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman makes an ass of herself by stealing money from a city to get a butt lift [Florida]

Friday 16 June 16:50:07 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hydration station near Hole 12 at the U.S. Open has complimentary E. Coli [Sick]

Friday 16 June 15:50:06 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russia says it's "not 100 percent sure" that its airstrikes killed SIS Leader Al-Baghdadi. "We kill so many people, it's so hard to keep track" [Obvious]

Friday 16 June 15:49:16 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 48% of people don't know where chocolate milk comes from. Duh, it comes from chocolate cows [Repeat]

Friday 16 June 15:20:06 UTC 2017

Repeat [link] [114 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mystery of man holding gun floating above Kentish town solved when it's revealed to be a Stormtrooper holding a rifle. Vader last seen stomping around in a really bad mood. No, I haven't been drinking [Amusing]

Friday 16 June 15:16:45 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The newest socioeconomic disparity: smoking. Rich people gave it up, poor people didn't and now guess who's having a tobacco crisis [Murica]

Friday 16 June 14:46:47 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [220 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » But Only after Three or Four Kamikazes

Friday 16 June 14:22:11 UTC 2017

Office peon: She acts like Japan! Carnegie Center
Princeton, New Jersey Overheard by: Did I hear that right? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pilot of the blimp that crashed at the U.S. Open yesterday had two emergency landings and a crash in two years. CEO says he's: "the most sought after pilot to fly this type of blimp model" [Unlikely]

Friday 16 June 14:14:04 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » The Funeral of Mike Merlo

Friday 16 June 14:09:21 UTC 2017

Original picture here.

A wax and flower effigy of the deceased featured at his funeral, attended by ten thousand people.

His Wikipedia page. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Someone actually thought there was a reason to compare Krispy Kreme vs Dunkin' Donuts. I guess you Americans were too afraid to add Tim Hortons, the King Of All Donuts, to the contest [Amusing]

Friday 16 June 13:46:46 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [244 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Eating Infinite Jest

Friday 16 June 13:22:00 UTC 2017

Comedian Jamie Loftus recently posted a video commemorating the first year of her plan to eat an entire copy of the novel Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace, one page at a time. She's never read it. She's just eating it.

This caught my attention because, as it turns out, I've got a folder on my computer where I've been … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Coloring Contest: Heading to San Francisco with flowers in her hair [Photoshop]

Friday 16 June 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beach closed AGAIN due to infestation of: A) Tiger sharks, B) Box jellyfish, C) Poop [Florida]

Friday 16 June 12:32:51 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » YouTube 'Star' accused of asking underaged girls for sexy videos. Difficulty: Not PewDiePie [Sick]

Friday 16 June 12:32:39 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [179 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know you're a badass when you can start a fire using a bag of water [Spiffy]

Friday 16 June 12:08:51 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The number one problem inside an Arkansas courthouse is: A) Dirty cops B) Crooked judges C) People peeing in the elevator [Strange]

Friday 16 June 11:56:51 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kim Jong-un is in hiding as he fears covert U.S. assassination squads [Silly]

Friday 16 June 11:20:50 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mexico and U.S. breweries make a cerveza using a logo with a frumpy Donald Trump dressed in a mariachi outfit [Amusing]

Friday 16 June 10:33:52 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You can't cheat Niagara Falls twice [Sad]

Friday 16 June 10:22:50 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well, maybe don't do that. Duh (warning: graphic video) [Amusing]

Friday 16 June 9:31:50 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man with garage full of Ferraris buys four new Ferraris in hopes of improving his chances of buying a more exclusive Ferrari, is butthurt when Ferrari turns him down. Ferrari [Dumbass]

Friday 16 June 7:37:50 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oregon becomes the first state to offer a non-binary gender option for drivers licenses [Spiffy]

Friday 16 June 5:16:44 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [218 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Heroic, 12-year-old Mormon girl stands up in church meeting, and says she knows her Heavenly Father loves her and it is okay that he made her gay. Cowardly church officials cut off her mic. With video [Hero]

Friday 16 June 4:56:53 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [248 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'm not even going to try to explain the mugshot awesomeness contained inside [Strange]

Friday 16 June 4:55:51 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police announce they have arrested one of the seven Maute brothers leading ISIS in the Philippines, further endangering the planned production of 'Seven Bombs for Seven Brothers' [Followup]

Friday 16 June 3:39:16 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Illinois is such a cluster-fark, even the lottery doesn't want to sell tickets there [Fail]

Friday 16 June 2:20:06 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Match Making

Friday 16 June 1:50:20 UTC 2017

Coleridge is said to have described the happiest possible marriage as “the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.” The eccentric Lord Berners’ requisites for a happy marriage: “A short memory, a long purse, infinite credulity, no sense of humor, a combative nature, the man should be a man and the woman a woman or vice versa.” “In … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do you love jeans, but hate the feeling of denim on your ass? We have the jeans for you [Weird]

Friday 16 June 1:34:01 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tensions rise between Muslims and Christians in CAR, as driver repeatedly threatens to turn it around right now [Scary]

Friday 16 June 1:32:06 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vermont quarry worker suffers head injuries in explosion. This is not a repeat from September 13, 1848 [Scary]

Friday 16 June 0:44:06 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these three chicks [Photoshop]

Friday 16 June 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

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