John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » An exploration of how science fiction has actually helped improve our world and create a better future for…wait, is that a picture of Tom Cruise in Minority Report? Oh, fark right the hell off [Fail]

Tuesday 13 June 23:46:47 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police discover loads of stolen pink lingerie, loungewear in man's vehicle [Giggity]

Tuesday 13 June 23:16:47 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sean Spicer is all out of bubble gum [Fail]

Tuesday 13 June 23:14:12 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another intelligent gun owner teaches his children about gun safety by accidentally killing one of them [Sick]

Tuesday 13 June 23:11:51 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [298 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NJ resident Jason A. Smith becomes a trivia answer for being the first person charged with drunk driving on the new Goethals Bridge, connecting NJ to NYC [Dumbass]

Tuesday 13 June 22:46:47 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fight over dog poop ends with one in jail, one in hospital. Jeez, guys, it's not that rare, there's enough to go around [Florida]

Tuesday 13 June 22:20:07 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Many in One

Tuesday 13 June 22:19:35 UTC 2017

At the site where apartheid police officers arrested Nelson Mandela in 1962, sculptor Marco Cianfanelli has erected 50 laser-cut steel columns. They range in height from 21 to 31 feet and appear randomly placed, but the approach to the site leads visitors down a path at the correct angle, and at a distance of 115 feet their meaning becomes clear. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "The Hunger Games" – Not just getting girls interested in archery, now teaching them lifesaving first aid [Hero]

Tuesday 13 June 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're supposed to pay your outstanding parking fines to get a so-called "boot" removed from your car. But this method works, too [Amusing]

Tuesday 13 June 21:04:44 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Bible says Jesus walked on water. The Florida Highway Patrol say Jesus walked in front of a speeding SUV. In three days we'll know one way or the other [Florida]

Tuesday 13 June 20:38:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Sessions session continues. Beauregard's memory is a little patchy, but he's pretty sure he did nothing wrong. And there is a rumor that… Bah Gawd? Is that Al Franken's music? [Live]

Tuesday 13 June 20:05:25 UTC 2017

Live [link] [1321 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this command performance [Photoshop]

Tuesday 13 June 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scorpions: the breakfast of champions [Sick]

Tuesday 13 June 19:41:54 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Twenty percent of searches looking to change one's breasts are from men looking into how to get rid of man boobs." Bob Paulson nods in agreement whilst silently sobbing [Boobies]

Tuesday 13 June 19:10:05 UTC 2017

Boobies [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dragging a half naked passenger down the aisle of a 737 is no way to go through life, EMT [Facepalm]

Tuesday 13 June 18:38:34 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This day in history: USPS no longer allows children to be delivered by mail [Strange]

Tuesday 13 June 18:16:45 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Uber CEO to take a cab home to spend more time with his family [Followup]

Tuesday 13 June 18:02:00 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Add "gun-grabbing" to the list of things that Germans do differently than Americans [Scary]

Tuesday 13 June 17:50:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Awful: Someone tosses kitten from moving car. Karma: Health department says it tested positive for rabies, and the people who handled it better get to a doctor [Asinine]

Tuesday 13 June 17:44:06 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Stormy Mistress

Tuesday 13 June 17:39:00 UTC 2017

Each Ascension Day between 1311 and 1798, the doge of Venice was rowed into the Adriatic aboard a palatial barge to perform the “Marriage of the Sea,” a ceremony that symbolically wedded Venice to the sea. The ship, known as the Bucentaur, led a solemn procession of boats out of the city, where the doge dropped a consecrated ring into … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Will Jeff deny he ever lived in a tree? Will Donnie Two Scoops live tweet? Will there be perjury? THIS is your Jeff Sessions Testifying in a Senate Intelligence Committee public hearing thread. (Update: 2:15pm start) [Live]

Tuesday 13 June 17:30:58 UTC 2017

Live [link] [1690 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 100 years after it disappeared, it has returned [Florida]

Tuesday 13 June 17:20:06 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 15-year-old lifeguard saves toddler during his first day on the job [Hero]

Tuesday 13 June 17:09:07 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If all else fails, call 911 to complain about waiting for your chicken nuggets [Dumbass]

Tuesday 13 June 16:47:18 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Excuse me, sir. Those aren't dragons in your pants, are they? Why yes, yes they are. And they're mad, too [Florida]

Tuesday 13 June 16:28:50 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How bad can a mayfly swarm-GAAA [Creepy]

Tuesday 13 June 16:10:23 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Parole board member Don Ruzicka and another employee held contests in which they attempted to mention silly, predetermined words or song names, such as "hootenanny," "platypus" or "Folsom Prison Blues" during hearings wit

Tuesday 13 June 15:53:14 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Did you notice Cavs' JR Smith's seemingly meaningless 3-point shot in the closing seconds of Game 5? Well, it turned out to be worth millions [Followup]

Tuesday 13 June 15:36:06 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Area Man writes a song for every station on the Washington Metro. Must have had a lot of time on his hands, perhaps waiting for something [Cool]

Tuesday 13 June 15:02:11 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bring a knife to a fight on the bus and the security camera will record you getting thrown through the windshield [Scary]

Tuesday 13 June 14:43:44 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pro tip: If you're going to start running 'Cosby Show' reruns again, you might want to pull the episode where Cliff slips some pills into a drink [Facepalm]

Tuesday 13 June 14:21:55 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [144 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lost Jackson Pollock painting found in Arizona garage could be worth $15 million. Or it could be oil drippings from the car [Cool]

Tuesday 13 June 14:00:06 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual headline: Three people charged for getting busy on a roof in Lancaster County [Giggity]

Tuesday 13 June 13:40:06 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How to fall down [Interesting]

Tuesday 13 June 13:20:06 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Theme: The next step in human evolution [Photoshop]

Tuesday 13 June 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That guy caught having sex mid-flight on Ryanair? Yeah, he had a pregnant fiancee back home [Followup]

Tuesday 13 June 12:53:51 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » The Mayonnaise diet

Tuesday 13 June 12:19:51 UTC 2017

What exactly is the mayonnaise diet? Googling the term produces various vague references to such a thing, but no specifics. So, like the Dial-A-Dietitian, I have no idea what this diet involves… beyond a lot of mayonnaise and eggs.

My guess is that it was either an alternative name for the Atkins Diet, or an eccentric variant of it, since … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alcohol was to blame for the misspelling of the original domain name for the Swedish Museum of Failure. So what's his Fark handle? [Fail]

Tuesday 13 June 12:19:34 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A Matchbox of Cheese is my new Train cover band [Interesting]

Tuesday 13 June 12:05:34 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Putin realizes murdering his political opponent would be a little too obvious so he has Navalny imprisoned instead [Obvious]

Tuesday 13 June 11:53:33 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Don't listen to the trolls, and for God's sake don't become one," grads Cook with gas [Hero]

Tuesday 13 June 11:45:33 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Religious Facebook page threatens to ban anyone who uses rainbow emojis. Gaylarity ensues [Amusing]

Tuesday 13 June 11:35:33 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 50 years ago this week, Loving (and Love) won [Sappy]

Tuesday 13 June 10:59:33 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Munyon’s Homeopathic Cures

Tuesday 13 June 10:27:00 UTC 2017

Once, these remedies were state-of-the-art.

More photos here.

His Wikipedia page.

Although Munyon appears to be clutching a cigar in his upraised hand, that is indeed supposed to be his signature gesture of upraised index finger.

Original ad here.

Certificate here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Donnie's really in trouble now [Spiffy]

Tuesday 13 June 9:10:57 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I think you ought to know you're feeling very depressed [Unlikely]

Tuesday 13 June 7:26:34 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Church demands right to keep their brand of mental illness pure [Obvious]

Tuesday 13 June 6:55:42 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "We can't fight fires here, this is bat country" [Florida]

Tuesday 13 June 5:01:49 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Flight to Ireland delayed, trapping hundreds on the tarmac. Passengers protest by breaking out a lute and a bodhrán for a singalong. With video goodness [Amusing]

Tuesday 13 June 4:01:38 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hold onto your butts: Turkey will be deploying troops to Qatar to defend it against the Saudi coalition [Scary]

Tuesday 13 June 3:27:39 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Best Korea threatens to nuke NYC in an odd fashion, which probably involves large hats and funny walks [Strange]

Tuesday 13 June 2:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump retaliates against North Korea [News]

Tuesday 13 June 2:20:25 UTC 2017

News [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Strong shaking rocks Lesbos. Your dad probably has this on Blu-Ray [Interesting]

Tuesday 13 June 2:20:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dollar Store Grandpa Bandit sought by FBI in nostalgia-tinged crime story. Remember when robbing dollar stores meant something? The Dollar Store Grandpa Bandit does [Strange]

Tuesday 13 June 1:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "See you later, alligator." "You're a pain, crane" [Florida]

Tuesday 13 June 1:20:32 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who knew the police could depend on random big van drivers to help stop fleeing cars? [Video]

Tuesday 13 June 1:20:04 UTC 2017

Video [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Toronto transit commission reveals the biggest reasons why your subway is delayed. "Train in contact with person" comes in at number five with 87 hours over 3 years. Lot of depressed people in Toronto [Scary]

Tuesday 13 June 0:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Car crashes into restaurant, hits psychic eating lunch with another psychic. Too bad they didn't see it coming [Fail]

Tuesday 13 June 0:20:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this out of service dog [Photoshop]

Tuesday 13 June 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

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