Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Pharmacist brings a pool cue to a knife fight. Sinks a couple of balls [Hero]

Friday 9 June 23:55:19 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Florida teen hired Florida sex worker for discount late night incall booty session, is busted by parents [Florida]

Friday 9 June 23:45:32 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » I don't know what a fidget spinner is, but taking one orally looks like it leads to an endoscopic procedure. With helpful x-ray pic [PSA]

Friday 9 June 23:21:02 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Largest virtual universe ever launched by Swiss researchers. Unfortunately, it's one of those lame universes with only four dimensions and only one of those can be time [Interesting]

Friday 9 June 22:46:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt action rifle, so we'd have a reason to be dragged to Mosul by our parents to be home schooled [Asinine]

Friday 9 June 22:16:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Brevard County Sherriff can't wait for the next act of terrorism. Wait, that came out wrong [Florida]

Friday 9 June 21:46:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Wife's anniversary card to husband contains $55k Missouri Lottery scratchers winner [Cool]

Friday 9 June 21:16:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Or as they call it in Florida, "Tuesday" [Florida]

Friday 9 June 20:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Your car wash might be dealing drugs if a) police can't find a cash register or car washing tools anywhere, b) police DO find lots and lots of drugs, and c) the owner's name is Pooh Bear [Florida]

Friday 9 June 20:35:34 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Shooting people with a flare gun loaded with a shotgun shell filled with cereal is no way to go through Life, son [Strange]

Friday 9 June 20:13:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally dressing up as Sonny and Cher [Photoshop]

Friday 9 June 20:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » ♫ Everyone else has had more sex than me ♫ [Interesting]

Friday 9 June 19:51:56 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The lengths people will go to so they can win BBQ competitions is getting ridiculous [Sad]

Friday 9 June 19:30:07 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Normally birth defects are not helpful, but in the case of this 19-year-old pitcher… let's just say his birth defect may lead to a major league career [Cool]

Friday 9 June 19:10:07 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you own a Tesla in the U.S., you can now always look on the bright side of life [Hero]

Friday 9 June 19:08:33 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » There once was a student in class. However, she wrote poems like an ass. And when she was graded, it was the professor she hated. So she sued her so she could then pass [Silly]

Friday 9 June 18:50:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » US anti-fascists take on alt-right fight squads in street battles across the country, which mostly just end up with people on both sides being arrested by the police [Murica]

Friday 9 June 18:36:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Hundreds of rounds fired in attempted thrill killings leave some neighbors concerned about violence. You don't say [Murica]

Friday 9 June 18:16:44 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » The Baltic Way

Friday 9 June 18:12:36 UTC 2017

Image: Wikimedia Commons On August 23, 1989, two million peaceful demonstrators joined hands across Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania to protest the occupation of the Baltic states by the Soviet Union. The chain, 675 kilometers long, connected the capitals of Vilnius, Riga, and Tallinn. Coordinated by portable radios, the protesters peacefully joined hands for 15 minutes at 7 p.m. local time, saying … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meet UK pariliamentary candidate Lord Buckethead, who lost to Theresa May by only 37,469 votes. Campaign promises included reducing arms sales to the Saudis and exiling Katie Hopkins to the Phantom Zone [Weird]

Friday 9 June 18:06:22 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Brave Subway worker tells robber to 'get a job' and stop robbing these places [Hero]

Friday 9 June 17:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Things you don't usually expect to see in an email from the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company to his employees: 1) "You'd better read this or I will kick your ass" 2) "Do not have sex with another employee UNLESS" [Fail]

Friday 9 June 17:44:20 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Hocus Pocus

Friday 9 June 17:08:05 UTC 2017

Allan William Johnson discovered this “magic square of squares” in 1990: 302 2462 1722 452 932 1162 662 2582 1262 1382 2372 442 2602 32 542 1502 Each row, column, and long diagonal totals 93025, or 3052. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This isn't the first time strange beaver has ruined a wedding. In other news, beaver trifecta in play [Obvious]

Friday 9 June 16:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Just another day working at customs: the illegal plants, the confiscated fruit, the $4.8 million of meth hidden in candles [Fail]

Friday 9 June 16:23:51 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » China ramps up preparation for a manned lunar landing. Apparently they've decided it's easier to land a capsule on the Moon than set down a 747 at the Beijing airport in the smog [Followup]

Friday 9 June 16:20:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Nothing to see here, just more Hanford employees fleeing in terror from another radioactive waste 'incident' [Scary]

Friday 9 June 15:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you don't feel like paying your bar tab, faking a medical emergency so an ambulance comes to pick you up at the bar might seem like a good idea. But don't try it twice in one night [Dumbass]

Friday 9 June 15:20:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Looked like a leprechaun to me [Scary]

Friday 9 June 14:50:07 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Climate change's boning of the Earth is good for beaver spread [Giggity]

Friday 9 June 14:20:06 UTC 2017

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Overheard In The Office » 5PM That’s a Wrap

Friday 9 June 14:06:47 UTC 2017

CSR: How do I transfer calls?
Teller: You’re an idiot wrapped in moron. 845 North Gilbert Road
Gilbert, Arizona [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Continuing their quest to be at the forefront of hard-hitting journalism, CNN answers the question that's on everyone's mind – What is dead butt syndrome? [Asinine]

Friday 9 June 13:47:14 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » The Art of Hayley Newman

Friday 9 June 13:34:00 UTC 2017

Below are some of the captioned images that artist Hayley Newman displayed at her first solo show, "Connotations – Performance Images 1994-98".

Lock-jaw Lecture Series (1997/1998)
“Over the period of a year I was invited to give a series of lectures on my work. Before each lecture I visited a local dentist and had my mouth anaesthetised. With my mouth made …
[Link]

Weird Universe » Reno Divorce Myth

Friday 9 June 13:33:59 UTC 2017

Original photo and article here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this man playing with fireworks [Photoshop]

Friday 9 June 13:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » UK Opposition leader Jeremy Corbyn has delivered what is being called "the worst high five ever" [Awkward]

Friday 9 June 12:45:26 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » People suspect that McCain's bizarre questions for Comey were the result of drinking too much covfefe that morning [Strange]

Friday 9 June 11:15:10 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Remember the officer whose husband choked a man to death in a Denny's parking lot, because he urinated outside? They are being charged with murder [Cool]

Friday 9 June 10:58:10 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » UK voting in pictures, including the Monster Raving Loony Party [Amusing]

Friday 9 June 10:35:11 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » There be whales here [Spiffy]

Friday 9 June 10:15:10 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » That droning sound you hear coming from Syria is just Bashar al-Assad trying to compete with the US military [Fail]

Friday 9 June 9:54:12 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » This just in: chimps aren't people [Obvious]

Friday 9 June 9:26:20 UTC 2017

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GraphJam »

Friday 9 June 8:40:49 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 4054787584 Graph by: kimirose157 Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Ents are going to war [Sappy]

Friday 9 June 8:36:24 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you earn minimum wage in the U.S., you can live uncomfortably in exactly twelve counties across the country [Murica]

Friday 9 June 7:37:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Not news: Group denied petition to participate in parade. News: said group is LGBT group, Fark: It is a pride parade. Ultra-fark: They support Trump [Interesting]

Friday 9 June 6:30:48 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Reality Winner not winning at reality at all [Ironic]

Friday 9 June 5:36:53 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Organ recipient accepts diploma on behalf of 13-year-old who donated liver, six metric tons of dust [Sappy]

Friday 9 June 5:16:52 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Couple joins the mile high club in their main cabin seats. Obviously they weren't riding Virgin [Giggity]

Friday 9 June 4:40:40 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Study shows she's more likely to shut up and leave you alone during Hockey than Football [Strange]

Friday 9 June 4:35:47 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Former President Obama watches yet another program of his get rolled back …… Did I say rolled back? Let's say repurposed [Obvious]

Friday 9 June 3:53:50 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "This new White House is giving me a drinking problem" [Scary]

Friday 9 June 3:29:54 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » AZ DOT shows they have a sense of humor when a truckload of Bud Light flips over on the road. The internet piles on [Followup]

Friday 9 June 2:50:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Don't text and walk. With helpful video. No really, it proves the point [Facepalm]

Friday 9 June 2:36:13 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » You're upset that your meal included onions, so you A) ask for a new plate of food without onions, B) remove the onions yourself, or C) threaten to shoot the owner before dropping your pants and exposing yourself [Dumbass]

Friday 9 June 1:31:11 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop contest: Make a blockbuster movie poster worse than the ones for Spider-Man: Homecoming and Transformers: The Last Knight [Photoshop]

Friday 9 June 0:00:01 UTC 2017

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John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons