John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » According to UK exit polls, Theresa may have made a mistake by calling snap elections [NewsFlash]

Thursday 8 June 23:30:16 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [235 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police dog is sacked because it prefers belly rubs to fighting crime [Sappy]

Thursday 8 June 22:50:06 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know lunch was epic when they have to evacuate three floors of your building because of the odor coming from the bathroom [Sick]

Thursday 8 June 22:20:06 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Apparently, they shouldn't sell cashews, either [Florida]

Thursday 8 June 21:50:06 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I think the moral of this story is don't film in a school bathroom. And also, don't dance with a loaded gun [Asinine]

Thursday 8 June 21:20:07 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: Breakfast Thunderdome – Pancakes and French Toast enter the arena. Share your recipe/pics for victory.. and tell us why pancakes never quite stack up in this challenge [Interesting]

Thursday 8 June 21:00:18 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you bought Mibelas 24 F-E birth control pills, congratulations: you're pregnant [Scary]

Thursday 8 June 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Universal Internet Rule #4: Close those porn tabs before you take a screen shot [Dumbass]

Thursday 8 June 20:36:43 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man comes well prepared for date with backpack full of beer, pot and sex toys. Not knowing the woman and breaking into her house… eh, minor details [Scary]

Thursday 8 June 20:20:07 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this killing machine [Photoshop]

Thursday 8 June 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seattle startup brings cow sharing to the internet, finally eliminating the risk of someone bogarting the cow [Interesting]

Thursday 8 June 19:50:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Grandmother is hailed a 'national hero' after getting cars to slow down near her house by pointing a hair dryer at them as if it's a speed camera. Somehow I'm not sure it's going to be that effective after all this news coverage [

Thursday 8 June 19:20:06 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Even as the pile of evidence around the dangers of over-medicating children continues to mount all around them, many modern-day parents are struggling to get away from the basic fact that they simply like their kids more when they're medicated [S

Thursday 8 June 19:13:24 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [143 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dave Coulier's really big grin, a speeding ticket worth sharing on social media, and sax after 60. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-05-28 to Sat 2017-06-03 [FarkBlog]

Thursday 8 June 18:58:08 UTC 2017

FarkBlog [link] [0 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Things to Come

Thursday 8 June 18:45:56 UTC 2017

In 1899, preparing for festivities in Lyon marking the new century, French toy manufacturer Armand Gervais commissioned a set of 50 color engravings from freelance artist Jean-Marc Côté depicting the world as it might exist in the year 2000. The set itself has a precarious history. Gervais died suddenly in 1899, when only a few sets had been run off … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You might not want to claim an abandoned couch on the side of the freeway. It may be nesting thousands of bees [Scary]

Thursday 8 June 18:43:24 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another unlawful Pinellas penetration [Florida]

Thursday 8 June 18:13:24 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » PETA, you so crazy. Any cat owner knows the cat would have ripped him to shreds [Fake]

Thursday 8 June 17:46:44 UTC 2017

Fake [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No Coke – Pepsi [Followup]

Thursday 8 June 17:16:44 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Have you ever considered that if you knew what was actually going on in the mind of that spider you're about to crush, you might not crush it? No? Alrighty then, smash away [Interesting]

Thursday 8 June 16:46:44 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Unquote

Thursday 8 June 16:42:09 UTC 2017

“The cocky characters, for some reason, the public seems to like. They don’t like those kinds of people in real life.” — Friz Freleng [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An alligator jumping up at a landing plane is soooo Florida. Unfortunately, the gator jumped too high [Florida]

Thursday 8 June 16:16:44 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Balloon purchased to celebrate child's birth is still fully inflated 18 years later. Not enthralling news, I know, but given the UK election and Comey's testimony, I thought we could all use a lift. Lift, geddit? [Asinine]

Thursday 8 June 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tune in for the next exciting episode of "Boris and Natasha – Collusion on High" or "Comey Gets Cold Feet." Aw man, that trick never works. (Comey Crisis Thread 2) [Followup]

Thursday 8 June 15:33:32 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [1433 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Aztecs carried out ritual sacrifices as part of their tennis matches. I suppose that's one way to make it more interesting [Interesting]

Thursday 8 June 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Millennial with disposable income uses apps to randomly travel the world, thinks you should do the same thing [Asinine]

Thursday 8 June 14:50:05 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Over the past several months, there have been at least 15 sightings of a seven-foot-tall "winged humanoid" flying about in Chicago. I'm not saying it's Mothman, but it's Mothman [Interesting]

Thursday 8 June 14:20:06 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Gallery IT Guy: Goggles Are Not Art!

Thursday 8 June 14:18:00 UTC 2017

Art director #1: I need a picture of a Doublemint gum wrapper.
Art director #2: Just Google it.
Art director #1: Oh, okay… Hey, they blocked Google!
Art director #2: They didn’t block Google! I use it 30 times a day!
Art director #1: G-O-G-G-L-E?
Art director #2: … That’s ‘goggle.’ 151 West 34th Street
New York, New York Overheard by: risdchic [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It is illegal to possess recreational marijuana in New Hampshire, "even if you only smoke it in Massachusetts." With Mugshot of the Year entry [PSA]

Thursday 8 June 13:50:05 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Tooth Jumping and other DIY dentistry

Thursday 8 June 13:43:19 UTC 2017

Over in Salt Lake City, a woman has been charged with felony child abuse for using a pair of needle-nose pliers to extract some of her 7-year-old son's teeth while in a Walmart restroom. She picked up the pliers and some hand sanitizer in the store and then headed to the restroom to perform the dental work. No anesthetic, of … [Link]

Weird Universe » Mystery Gadget 49

Thursday 8 June 13:43:18 UTC 2017

Part of a household appliance once more common than it is nowadays. But what?

The answer is here.

And after the jump.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » When you need to get to your local Hooters fast, by all means, call 911 for help [Florida]

Thursday 8 June 13:34:33 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protip for guys who want to sleep with women: Never play acoustic guitar for her [Obvious]

Thursday 8 June 13:20:07 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [212 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Will he explicitly say the president engaged in "Obstruction of Justice"? Will Donald live-tweet during the hearing and will they be epic? Will someone go get us more popcorn? THIS is your Comey hearing thread (10am EDT start) [Live]

Thursday 8 June 13:00:45 UTC 2017

Live [link] [247 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Bob Hope's custom golf cart [Photoshop]

Thursday 8 June 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Get your free Doritos Locos taco today at Taco Bell, courtesy of the Golden State Warriors [Spiffy]

Thursday 8 June 12:54:57 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What kind of person steals 37 Braille signs from a hiking trail? [Weird]

Thursday 8 June 12:50:06 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's your pre-testimony live feed stakeout of James Comey's home. Brought to you by C-SPAN. Come for the garage door, stay for the closed gate [Live]

Thursday 8 June 12:39:02 UTC 2017

Live [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You can't run, but you can almost hide [Interesting]

Thursday 8 June 12:20:59 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Missouri man has pair of pants stolen, and probably doesn't want them back [Weird]

Thursday 8 June 12:20:06 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Need Another Dozen Astronauts [Florida]

Thursday 8 June 11:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're going to make a racist rant about the people using coupons in line ahead of you, make sure you can tell the difference between Mexicans and Indians [Dumbass]

Thursday 8 June 11:20:07 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » PBA Prez: Um, those police officers you see on video kicking and punching an innocent bystander who was set on fire by a car crash were really just trying to put out the fire [Sick]

Thursday 8 June 10:58:19 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know you're a lonely man if you find yourself showing obscene videos on your cellphone to the CVS cashier while paying for some beer [Florida]

Thursday 8 June 10:29:20 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lawsuit claims GA cops conducted a warrantless search of over 900 HS students that included "public exposure of bare breasts" and "touching and manipulation of student's genitals and vaginal areas" [Sick]

Thursday 8 June 9:55:46 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [130 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One more reason to hate the Russians: Their invasion into Budapest in 1944 destroyed the Zwack Distillery where the herbal liqueur Unicum had been produced by the same family for more than 150 years [Sad]

Thursday 8 June 8:52:21 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One woman robs another woman by ripping off her bra and snatching the money hidden inside. Curiously, the two men in the home who witnessed the attack did nothing to stop the robbery because they were too busy staring [Interesting]

Thursday 8 June 8:22:20 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Climate change article from 1912 [Interesting]

Thursday 8 June 6:48:47 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California has a legal limit for alcohol intoxication, but it does not have one for marijuana [Scary]

Thursday 8 June 6:48:42 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [141 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just another day in Trump's America [Murica]

Thursday 8 June 4:18:40 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [263 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 631: "Grave Goods". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 8 June 4:01:00 UTC 2017

Farktography [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'm a reef shark / I'm a reef shaaaaaark / suck your leeeeeg / I'm a reef shaaaark / [Scary]

Thursday 8 June 3:40:15 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A new state law in Alabama will fine localities up to $25,000 for removing confederate monuments. Local grassroots organization raises money to cover the fine [Spiffy]

Thursday 8 June 2:41:31 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [175 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » State police declares all Florida drivers to be hazards, making flashers redundant [Florida]

Thursday 8 June 2:40:06 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hamsters surrendered at Humane Society. Where they got the little white flags from, no one knows [Florida]

Thursday 8 June 2:22:58 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Abused Chihuahua made honorary police K9 unit. Somewhere out there, a criminal cowers in fear of a small yappy irritant [Cool]

Thursday 8 June 2:05:49 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » North Korea attacks the ocean with multiple land-to-sea missiles launch [News]

Thursday 8 June 2:01:01 UTC 2017

News [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lardbutt1k is a .62mile "race" where you are encouraged to slow down and get booed for running too fast [Amusing]

Thursday 8 June 1:48:41 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Physicists create 2D magnets that are just 1 atom thick. Results to be peer-reviewed by Insane Clown Posse [Cool]

Thursday 8 June 1:31:32 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And nothing of significant value was lost [Obvious]

Thursday 8 June 1:14:24 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The latest thing to affect oil demand? Seagoing bags of snot [Weird]

Thursday 8 June 0:57:15 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Earwitnesses to triple homicide explain that it's not uncommon to hear gunfire in their tiny Montana town, offering that residents "tend to shoot skunks that wander through" [Strange]

Thursday 8 June 0:40:06 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Unfortunately, there are not many options to treat your stage IV cancer. But trying to murder the doctors that treat you is definitely not one of them [Scary]

Thursday 8 June 0:29:26 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In what's certain to cause a endless loop of the munchies, a Massachusetts dispensary has introduced the first commercial THC-infused pizza [Amusing]

Thursday 8 June 0:22:58 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fugitive arrested and charged with punching man with disability. Expected to post bail and announce run for Congress later today [Followup]

Thursday 8 June 0:05:49 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: Your dream pool [Photoshop]

Thursday 8 June 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

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