Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Russian propaganda posted on parody website becomes lead story on Fox News. Here's how it happened. Of course, the Sun is there too. No word on how it'll eventually end up greenlit on Fark, but subby has a pretty good idea [Fake]

Wednesday 7 June 23:48:41 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Teasing cats with laser pointers. New Hotness: Teasing Jumping Spiders with lasers. And they have telescopes for eyes [Cool]

Wednesday 7 June 23:31:32 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » I dub thee "Waterslide Jesus" [Cool]

Wednesday 7 June 23:14:24 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Police looking for sexy female robber who's been drugging and robbing men she meets in L.A. nightclubs [Scary]

Wednesday 7 June 22:57:15 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Undone

Wednesday 7 June 22:45:29 UTC 2017

“Erasing Hands,” by Malaysian illustrator Tang Yau Hoong. What happens next? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Police said the man got up to get ready at about 5:30 a.m. Monday and found his neighbor in his bedroom, in nothing but his birthday suit." Difficulty: Utah [Creepy]

Wednesday 7 June 22:40:07 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man calls his brother from the grave after being buried alive by the Russian mafia. I don't know who his mobile provider is but that would make one hell of a commercial [Scary]

Wednesday 7 June 22:20:07 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Good news for amoral people: Blood Diamonds are back [Murica]

Wednesday 7 June 22:08:32 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Woman behind bars after her 5 AM booty call goes bad [Florida]

Wednesday 7 June 21:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » 32 mobsters indicted for trafficking 10,000 pounds of stolen chocolate [Amusing]

Wednesday 7 June 21:36:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Florida (naturally) woman gives birth to toddler [Florida]

Wednesday 7 June 21:06:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "That's not a small amount of cocaine" [Interesting]

Wednesday 7 June 20:35:07 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Scientists analyze Bourbon Street puddle water. No surprises here [Interesting]

Wednesday 7 June 20:30:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Boston to the rest of the U.S. cities: Suuuuucccckkk iiiiiiit (especially you, NY) [Cool]

Wednesday 7 June 20:20:07 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Double Plus Weak: TBS Decides the 'T' word has to go, now we're looking back and it's gone [Fail]

Wednesday 7 June 20:07:13 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this gargoyle [Photoshop]

Wednesday 7 June 20:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » 150 pounds of meth found in popcorn boxes at border. Police tipped off when they realized 'Orville Reddentweaker' wasn't a real brand [Misc]

Wednesday 7 June 19:52:13 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » New York subway bans dogs unless they fit in a bag. Riders: Challenge accepted [Amusing]

Wednesday 7 June 19:37:13 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Alexa, please disclose my private conversation with my wife to our insurance agent [Strange]

Wednesday 7 June 19:08:32 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Want to know how broken the news cycle is? Step away from social media ..far away [Interesting]

Wednesday 7 June 18:42:50 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » I could be wrong but I don't think removing a wrench from a swollen penis is something that is typically taught in dental school [Strange]

Wednesday 7 June 18:25:41 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you retain anything from this article let it be the brutally metal band name Hanoi Rat Massacre [Interesting]

Wednesday 7 June 18:08:33 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The title of nation's best bacon goes to Vande Rose Farms for their artisan brown sugar-cured Applewood smoked bacon [Murica]

Wednesday 7 June 17:41:57 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » TSA reminds air travellers: 40mm grenades are not allowed in carry-on bags. Or checked bags for that matter [Dumbass]

Wednesday 7 June 17:20:08 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » DC's Union Pub, which apparently is trying to kill its patrons, is offering a free round of drinks on the house tomorrow every time Trump tweets about Comey tomorrow from 9:30 am to 4pm [Murica]

Wednesday 7 June 16:59:57 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "I've learned over decades of building that a deadline is a potent tool for problem-solving." -Adam Savage. So if you're short on time, break out the duct tape and C4 because THIS is your Fark Writer's thread, deadline approaching

Wednesday 7 June 16:38:08 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Florida deputies fired more than fifty rounds at motorcyclist, demonstrating the tactical importance of More Dakka in law enforcement [Florida]

Wednesday 7 June 16:14:08 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » While you're waiting for FedEx to bring your last Amazon shipment you don't remember ordering, take the Fark Weird News Quiz, week of 5/28/17-6/3/17 [Amusing]

Wednesday 7 June 16:08:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Ever wake up the morning after partying, and look at the bar tab asking "What was I thinking?" [Followup]

Wednesday 7 June 15:44:08 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » So what's the record for number of times arrested for drinking and driving within 3 hours? [Dumbass]

Wednesday 7 June 15:20:08 UTC 2017

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Overheard In The Office » I'm Sure That's Why

Wednesday 7 June 15:09:52 UTC 2017

Suit: It's hard for me to put myself in other people's shoes because I'm so awesome. Des Moines, Iowa Overheard by: coolerthanme [Link]

Fark.com RSS » $234,763 embezzled from car wash. Police were alerted by a realtor after the suspect tried to buy a house with 939,052 quarters [Fail]

Wednesday 7 June 15:00:26 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » News: Buffalo Bills rookie takes an Uber to training camp in Buffalo. Fark: From Chicago [Spiffy]

Wednesday 7 June 14:38:37 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Military flight from Myanmar, also known as Burma, is missing after taking off from Myeik, also known as Mergui, and heading towards Dawei, also known as Tavoy. Investigators now looking for the plane, also known as a heap of smoking wreckage [Sad]

Wednesday 7 June 14:37:34 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Island Cats

Wednesday 7 June 14:33:19 UTC 2017

Image: Wikimedia Commons In 1914, the rim of the New Zealand volcano Whakaari collapsed, burying a sulfur mining operation and killing 10 men. “Remarkably, there was one survivor: the camp cat, Peter the Great,” notes Sarah Lowe in New Zealand Geographic. “The cat returned to Whakatane, perhaps with one life less, but with unimpaired virility: many Whakatane cat owners trace their … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♬ ♬ I told the Mozambique witch doctor targeting bald people isn't nice. And then the witch doctor, he game me this advice: Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang walla walla, bang bang, ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang walla walla, bang bang &#983

Wednesday 7 June 14:20:08 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » United Airlines declares war on 17th century violin and possibly injures the hand of the musician that plays it. Stay classical, United [Asinine]

Wednesday 7 June 13:50:08 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Leroy Johnson in critical condition after his tractor rolls over on him. No word on if he screamed his name in defiance [Scary]

Wednesday 7 June 13:20:08 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this curious doggie [Photoshop]

Wednesday 7 June 13:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Morons horrified after photo of what the separated ingredients in Nutella look like goes viral [Stupid]

Wednesday 7 June 12:50:08 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » The Big Shave

Wednesday 7 June 12:41:05 UTC 2017

A lot of famous directors begin their careers by making weird, experimental films. For instance, there's the case of Martin Scorsese and his odd, six-minute film The Big Shave that he made in 1967. It had an alternative title, Viet '67, because it was apparently a metaphor for the war in Vietnam, even though the entire film involves a guy … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump has found someone who will pledge him full loyalty in exchange for leading the FBI [News]

Wednesday 7 June 12:35:21 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Japan combines 2 of Fark's favorite things: cats and breasts. It they could include beer, Drew would emigrate [Silly]

Wednesday 7 June 12:35:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Bodyslam Greg files for a two-week continuance in his assault case. We could get the cheery prospect of a sitting Congressman on trial for tackling and punching a reporter. Is this a great country or what? [Murica]

Wednesday 7 June 8:27:30 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Mass shooting reported (spins wheel) inside Iran parliament [Scary]

Wednesday 7 June 7:33:23 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Just marvel at the incredible detail and lifelike features… rolls eyes [Fail]

Wednesday 7 June 5:16:49 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Not news: DUI driver hits sign, small tree, keeps going. News: School Bus driver. DIAF: With 12 kids on board [Scary]

Wednesday 7 June 4:45:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » When you crash through the emergency room window, you receive instant service [Amusing]

Wednesday 7 June 3:37:36 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Yes. Well, when I see 5 weirdos dressed in togas stabbing the President in the middle of the park in full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards. That's my policy [Amusing]

Wednesday 7 June 3:21:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Suspect caught stuffing 15 quarts of motor oil down his pants. Fry wanted for questioning [Florida]

Wednesday 7 June 2:46:47 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Three wounded in Cocoa shooting. Apparently, they were cuckoo for Cocoa guns [Florida]

Wednesday 7 June 2:16:47 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Not news: Having a kegger at your frat News: A guys coordinates an international shipment of beer from Maine to Iceland. Fark: His "kegger" is a 40-foot refrigerated shipping container that's a floating beer keg w/dozens of kinds of beer

Wednesday 7 June 1:46:47 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Peacock escapes zoo, enters liquor store, gets smashy. That pea-dick [Asinine]

Wednesday 7 June 1:16:47 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » St. John Bosco's Brain stolen from a Catholic church. Police looking for an Igor. At least the brain wasn't in an Abby [Weird]

Wednesday 7 June 1:12:59 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » You do understand that if Trump is removed from office, we go from having a moron in charge to having a religious fanatic in charge, right? [Facepalm]

Wednesday 7 June 0:47:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man choked to death in Denny's parking lot, which is odd because that usually doesn't occur until after the order arrives [Scary]

Wednesday 7 June 0:16:47 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this security official in a secure stance — securely [Photoshop]

Wednesday 7 June 0:00:01 UTC 2017

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John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons