Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Russians march in blackface while carrying bananas because that's so darned hilarious to idiots [Stupid]

Tuesday 30 May 23:58:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » New UAE artillery truck looks like it was designed by Donald Trump. Soldier feedback shows significant support for the shag carpeting, "La Cucaracha" horn, and separate dome for quarreling colleagues [Amusing]

Tuesday 30 May 23:55:50 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Is storing a crate of live WW2 grenades you bought at a flea market in your garage covered under your homeowner's insurance when they explode? This guy is about to find out [Scary]

Tuesday 30 May 23:31:25 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Mary Kay Letourneau is separating from her student husband. Those second grader/teacher marriages rarely last [Followup]

Tuesday 30 May 23:17:58 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » St Louis police needed a way to pay for new weapons so selling off their Tommy Gun arsenal was the obvious move [Spiffy]

Tuesday 30 May 23:04:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Three shot at wake that turned into block party. Apparently, this is how party season starts [Florida]

Tuesday 30 May 22:38:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Someone in Bulgaria is putting googly eyes on broken street objects [Hero]

Tuesday 30 May 22:08:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Things that happened when you weren't looking: gas prices went up, the cat threw up in your slippers, U.S. Marines invaded Syria [Interesting]

Tuesday 30 May 21:44:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Lazy, drunk and unable to get back on your air mattress or even out of the creek is no way to go through life son. Um, I mean 54-year-old man [Stupid]

Tuesday 30 May 21:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Hormel is worried that people will confuse 'black label' beggin' strips with their 'black label' bacon. Even though beggin' strips aren't refrigerated and have a cartoon dog on the packaging [Stupid]

Tuesday 30 May 21:16:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Statue of a urinating dog placed next to 'Fearless Girl' statue. Statue of noisy vacuum cleaner expected to be placed next to dog soon [Repeat]

Tuesday 30 May 20:46:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » It's always nerve-wracking when someone new moves into the neighborhood, especially if they drive tanks [Florida]

Tuesday 30 May 20:16:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this brooding portrait [Photoshop]

Tuesday 30 May 20:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Could artificial intelligence lead to world peace? I'm not sure, but the phrase 'Klaato Barada Nikto' comes to mind for some reason [Interesting]

Tuesday 30 May 19:50:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man walks onto property, unplugs bounce house during birthday party trapping children inside, walks away. Yep, Florida [Florida]

Tuesday 30 May 19:44:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Border Agent: "Welcome to the United States of America, Land of the Free and Home of the Brave. Can I have your cellphone password please?" Canadian: "Fck off." U-turn* [Stupid]

Tuesday 30 May 19:20:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Have you ever wondered why lesbians exist? Of course you haven't, that's just a stupid question. Yet, it has an answer [Stupid]

Tuesday 30 May 19:11:24 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Dollar Tree store robbed. Second burglary in as many days on Stillwater Ave. in BANGOR. (There ya go, Farkers who like to mispronounce 'Bangor'). Police say "It is unknown if he made off with any money." I'm guessing 10 bucks [Asi

Tuesday 30 May 18:44:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Australia proposes denying passports to convicted child sex offenders. If only there were some other island that they could dump these criminals on [Interesting]

Tuesday 30 May 18:18:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Not News: yet another City considers removing its public statutes to Stonewall Jackson and Robert E. Lee. News: and one honoring Justice Roger Taney, the author or the Dredd Scott decision. Fark: Baltimore, MD which was always part of the Union [Obvi

Tuesday 30 May 18:10:25 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: When Farkers come together [FarkBlog]

Tuesday 30 May 18:09:02 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Happily Ever After?

Tuesday 30 May 17:44:21 UTC 2017

The Essex market town of Great Dunmow keeps alive a curious tradition: It awards a flitch of bacon to any married couple who can swear after a year and a day that they have not regretted their marriage. The custom goes back to the 13th century and perhaps even earlier; Chaucer mentions it as a well-established tradition. A similar ceremony … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Marijuana store and craft brewery to open in same building, henceforth to be known as Fark's West Coast Headquarters [Cool]

Tuesday 30 May 16:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The U.S. will attempt to intercept an ICBM for the first time ever. Based on prior success ratio, however, you're still better off getting that vault jumpsuit on and charging up your Pip-Boy [Interesting]

Tuesday 30 May 16:20:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Starting WWIII? Simpsons did it [Amusing]

Tuesday 30 May 15:35:59 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » New study claims eating too many chicken nuggets can make you A: Fat? B: Prone to heart disease? or C: Gay? [Unlikely]

Tuesday 30 May 15:20:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Harley dealership has a Bikini Bike Wash for Memorial Day. You know, to remember the fallen. However, there are 27 pics and a short video [Giggity]

Tuesday 30 May 14:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The U.S. Army, who alone developed and tested the Zika vaccine, is about to grant an exclusive license for it to a major pharmaceutical company. Taxpayers: What if they raise the price to an unaffordable level? Army: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [Stupi

Tuesday 30 May 14:20:07 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Crusades-era hand grenade found in Israel. And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chu – [Cool]

Tuesday 30 May 13:50:06 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Anti-Safety Device

Tuesday 30 May 13:28:31 UTC 2017

It's a combo seat-buckle alarm stopper and bottler opener. So that you can crack open a cold one when you get in the car, and then drive seat-belt free. You can find tons of them for sale on eBay, where they go for as little as 74 cents each.

They should give these away as a freebie when you buy … [Link]

Weird Universe » A Brief History of Westernized Snake Dances

Tuesday 30 May 13:28:30 UTC 2017

Choose your favorite.

I believe that "Janik and Amaut" are really Harold and Lola Leibman, as seen in the final clip. More about their eccentric careers here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » While you sit in a cubicle illuminated by oddly-crackling fluorescent lights, there's a man out there right now who makes a living by diving into the frigid waters of the Bering Sea searching for ancient ivory on the seabed floor forgotten by tim

Tuesday 30 May 11:56:40 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Here's a nice, dusty story to cap off this holiday weekend: No one shows up for 8-year-old boy's birthday party, so mom asks local cops if one can come say happy birthday. The entire police force plus firefighters converge to make his day [Sa

Tuesday 30 May 11:11:16 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » How to cook a gator, self-medicating Bill Cosby, and a lasting peach: these are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-05-21 to Sat 2017-05-27 [FarkBlog]

Tuesday 30 May 10:57:38 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Lab-created moths with a 'self-destruct' gene are set to be released onto U.S. farmland. What could go wrong? [Scary]

Tuesday 30 May 10:33:17 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Fallen Navy parachutist remembered as 'angel on earth' [Ironic]

Tuesday 30 May 10:18:17 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Portland may be weird and quirky, but it's not as liberal as many people think, and it's also kind of racist [Interesting]

Tuesday 30 May 10:11:40 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "Tell everyone on this train I love them." Why, there are no onions here, what are you talking about? [Followup]

Tuesday 30 May 9:26:17 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Joliet Prison ablaze. Persons of interest last seen in an old police car with a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, and wearing sunglasses [Sad]

Tuesday 30 May 4:44:56 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » That paint we sprayed on the town plaza will wash right off. Really. The guy who sold it to us said so [Facepalm]

Tuesday 30 May 1:30:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The hardest part of being caught with 6 kilos of pot is convincing everyone it's your personal stash [Awkward]

Tuesday 30 May 0:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Rapper Pitbull wants you to remember our fallen freedom defenders this Memorial Day…by tweeting a photo of himself smiling, wrapped in the American flag [Fail]

Tuesday 30 May 0:26:09 UTC 2017

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John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons