Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » There it is – the late Friday Trump-Russia revelation, three day weekend edition [NewsFlash]

Friday 26 May 23:53:15 UTC 2017

[link] [1019 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's fine if you want to sleep in the nude. Just don't sleep in the nude in the middle of the interstate [Strange]

Friday 26 May 23:41:55 UTC 2017

[link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A guy that would mock and then sucker punch a young man with cerebral palsy is not a model citizen in other matters [Sick]

Friday 26 May 23:20:06 UTC 2017

[link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Last year, the U.S. had a honeybee holocaust [Scary]

Friday 26 May 23:01:56 UTC 2017

[link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Baby hippo Fiona gets a beer in her honor, now if we see a hippo drinking beer that would be awesome [Spiffy]

Friday 26 May 22:41:56 UTC 2017

[link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teen selling her virginity hopes to buy a car. Yugo, girl [Facepalm]

Friday 26 May 22:05:22 UTC 2017

[link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Jersey officer known as the 'Deer Whisperer' saves adorable baby deer from sewer [Sappy]

Friday 26 May 21:50:07 UTC 2017

[link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police officer catches young girl stealing shoes for her 5 year old sister, but instead of arresting her he organizes donations for her impoverished family. Tag is for the officer [Hero]

Friday 26 May 21:35:54 UTC 2017

[link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Three Mile Island on the verge of shutting down, Jack Lemmon unavailable for comment [Murica]

Friday 26 May 21:14:05 UTC 2017

[link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Hand over those pre-paid credit cards, or you get caulk" [Dumbass]

Friday 26 May 20:50:48 UTC 2017

[link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman's service cat that detects when she's about to have a seizure runs away. In other news, someone thought it was a good idea to train 'service cats' [Sad]

Friday 26 May 20:50:05 UTC 2017

[link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New GOP bill would make it virtually impossible to sue the police, even in cases of egregious misconduct [Scary]

Friday 26 May 20:35:45 UTC 2017

[link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In a bid to be the next car of James Bond, BMW adds passenger auto eject as a standard feature [Scary]

Friday 26 May 20:11:45 UTC 2017

[link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these MOSFETs [Photoshop]

Friday 26 May 20:00:01 UTC 2017

[link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Innovative sous vide, trolling Ivanka, and roaming charrges. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-05-14 to Sat 2017-05-20 [FarkBlog]

Friday 26 May 19:59:25 UTC 2017

[link] [0 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman arrested for assaulting ex with pork fried rice. Apparently she hit him with a combination [Florida]

Friday 26 May 19:45:05 UTC 2017

[link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Comey knew BUT HER EMAILS was Russian disinformation but went with it anyway [Followup]

Friday 26 May 19:41:02 UTC 2017

[link] [242 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » RIP Denis Johnson, author of "Jesus' Son" [Sad]

Friday 26 May 19:10:48 UTC 2017

[link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy who came up with the Ice Bucket Challenge drowning in medical bills. If only there were a drug that could be easily made in an RV and sold to pay those bills [Sad]

Friday 26 May 18:44:08 UTC 2017

[link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teacher resigns to become full-time 'lice slayer', equips herself with shampoo of cleansing and comb with +5 against mites [Strange]

Friday 26 May 18:20:08 UTC 2017

[link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 11-year-old girl accuses her teacher of war crimes for punishing whole class when one pupil is naughty, cites the Geneva Convention to back up her claim, is now leading in all polls for U.K General Election [Amusing]

Friday 26 May 18:05:14 UTC 2017

[link] [123 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "26 years, and I have never drank the water here" [Sick]

Friday 26 May 17:43:25 UTC 2017

[link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's a nice day for most all of the country. You can go outside and play, or you can stay in and take the Fark Weekly Weird News Quiz for May 14 – May 20 [Silly]

Friday 26 May 17:31:00 UTC 2017

[link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Men dressed as construction workers steal nearly $800K worth of jewelry from Brooklyn store. Indian chief, sailor, police officer costumes left unused [Interesting]

Friday 26 May 17:16:45 UTC 2017

[link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It could happen to any of us: Greedy dolphin chokes to death on giant octopus it tried swallowing whole [Fail]

Friday 26 May 16:50:05 UTC 2017

[link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another small part of True America died today, as Maryland has officially banned rolling coal [Sad]

Friday 26 May 16:40:06 UTC 2017

[link] [223 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man hit by car. First-responding policeman offers aid and comfort while calling for prompt medical attention. Just kidding, he asks if he is an illegal alien before calling for help and has him detained by border patrol [Florida]

Friday 26 May 16:13:26 UTC 2017

[link] [181 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "This is your Captain speaking: We're now about to land at Portugal's Madeira Airport, please put on your Depends from the overhead" [Scary]

Friday 26 May 15:46:46 UTC 2017

[link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thousands are fleeing the Philippines city of Marawi as open war continues between Duterte and his perceived enemies [Scary]

Friday 26 May 15:20:06 UTC 2017

[link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Walker's crisps invite the internet to participate in their latest advertising campaign. As you're reading this on Fark, you can guess it doesn't go as well as they hoped [Fail]

Friday 26 May 15:11:54 UTC 2017

[link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another day, another record low approval rating for the administration [Obvious]

Friday 26 May 14:50:05 UTC 2017

[link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This might be the weirdest NYC burglary haul ever. Thief scales building to steal 2 toy race cars, fondue machine and milk shake maker [Weird]

Friday 26 May 14:32:35 UTC 2017

[link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police: "Hey let's put that crack in the lost-and-found box. Somebody would be bound to claim it" [Unlikely]

Friday 26 May 14:14:08 UTC 2017

[link] [23 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » An Employee You Can Almost Count on

Friday 26 May 14:12:13 UTC 2017

Interviewer: So, how would you say you handle changes in the workplace?
Interviewee: Um…Oh! I’m really good with change. I used to work a cash register, and if the total came to $7.49 and they gave me a ten, I’d give them 3…no…$2.60…uh&#82~
Interviewer: Uh…okay! Ames, Iowa [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump's infrastructure plan. Hope you have toll money to pull over at the rest stop [Murica]

Friday 26 May 13:50:08 UTC 2017

[link] [207 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Des Moines, Iowa has worse affordable housing than Brooklyn, New York [Ironic]

Friday 26 May 13:37:52 UTC 2017

[link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: Florida no longer considers tampons a "luxury item." Fark: 41 other states still have the tax in place [Plug]

Friday 26 May 13:13:52 UTC 2017

[link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this flexible woman [Photoshop]

Friday 26 May 13:00:01 UTC 2017

[link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tommy Arthur finally ran out of Get Out Of Death Row cards [Interesting]

Friday 26 May 12:49:52 UTC 2017

[link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Snakes have started hunting in packs and we've done nothing, next thing you know they'll be taking over first-class seats in airplanes and then what? [Interesting]

Friday 26 May 12:49:19 UTC 2017

[link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vermont will not descend into the anarchy of a legalized THC state [Spiffy]

Friday 26 May 12:21:32 UTC 2017

[link] [140 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Drug-Carrying Pigeons

Friday 26 May 12:11:12 UTC 2017

Same method, 95 years apart.

The Pittsburgh Press – Mar 8, 1922

Pigeon caught with backpack of drugs
BBC News – May 25, 2017
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gallant administrator schedules gym-floor refinishing for summer when the kids aren't around, what with the fumes. Goofus administrator figures a Wednesday morning in May should be fine; what could go wrong? [Facepalm]

Friday 26 May 12:09:52 UTC 2017

[link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 24 Coptic Christians killed in Minya, Egypt in what authorities are calling the largest attack on the community since last month [Sad]

Friday 26 May 11:49:19 UTC 2017

[link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You deserve some extra credit if you catch on fire during a high school science experiment [Scary]

Friday 26 May 10:49:44 UTC 2017

[link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's a limo, not a clown car [Amusing]

Friday 26 May 10:40:32 UTC 2017

[link] [14 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Gregg Peters: Elvis Impersonator

Friday 26 May 10:11:00 UTC 2017

Let me know when you bail…

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Free monkey [Florida]

Friday 26 May 9:49:32 UTC 2017

[link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In Finland you can put your child in forest schools where they spend most of the day exploring the outside world. That sound you hear is helicopter parents everywhere crashing on their fainting couches and calling out for vapors [Interesting]

Friday 26 May 9:46:00 UTC 2017

[link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man wearing body armor, mask smashes tractor-trailer into Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel. No one harmed during bizarre, but creative role play [Scary]

Friday 26 May 8:16:31 UTC 2017

[link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kid is soooo embarrassed because his dad picked him up in school wearing only a speedo. Wait till kid shows up at graduation in only a bra and panties. That'll teach him [Amusing]

Friday 26 May 6:16:33 UTC 2017

[link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some teachers: Hey, let's give a "Most Likely To Be A Terrorist" prank award to one of our minority students. It certainly wouldn't result in us being mocked and having our humanity questioned on a certain news aggregate website [Fail

Friday 26 May 6:08:42 UTC 2017

[link] [88 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Late Project

Friday 26 May 6:02:02 UTC 2017

Thomas Paine came to an ignominious end. The revolutionary activist so inspired English journalist William Cobbett that Cobbett dug up his bones in 1819 and transported them back to England, hoping to give Paine a heroic reburial in the land of his birth. (G.K. Chesterton wrote, “I wonder what he said when asked if he had anything to declare?”) But … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In other words, the rhythm method coupled with an app. Are people really this dumb? [Dumbass]

Friday 26 May 5:59:44 UTC 2017

[link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Walmart promises to ban the woman caught on video making racist remarks as soon as they identify her, claim they have it narrowed down to about 450,000 suspects [Followup]

Friday 26 May 4:18:35 UTC 2017

[link] [5 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "By the power vested in me by the state of California, I pronounce you train station and wife. You may now punch your ticket" [Facepalm]

Friday 26 May 3:15:53 UTC 2017

[link] [67 comments] [Link]

John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons