Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Cop assaults skins at Canadian party [Cool]

Monday 22 May 23:58:38 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Study concludes that due to genetics, smart white people are more likely to be autistic, while dumb white people are more likely to be fat and crazy. And here. We. Go [Unlikely]

Monday 22 May 23:47:29 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The new Raiders stadium in Las Vegas may also operate as a casino by betting on the game [Interesting]

Monday 22 May 23:24:21 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Ariana Grande bombs [NewsFlash]

Monday 22 May 23:19:17 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Tonight at 8PM EDT, Paul's Memory Bank brings you 2 hours of songs beginning with the letter "N", covering most of the years from 1964 to 1989 [Live]

Monday 22 May 23:16:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Don't bogart that joint my friend, it seems cannabis and Christ can coexist with devout southern Christians. Pass it down the pew [Interesting]

Monday 22 May 22:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » DC bar serves "Pill Cosby" cocktail, with floating empty capsules [Fail]

Monday 22 May 22:40:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » When a Lyft passenger blows her nose on your seat cover and starts throwing punches, it's time to end the ride [Florida]

Monday 22 May 22:14:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Steveston Harbour port chief: That kid had it coming. If anything, that sea lion is a hero [Followup]

Monday 22 May 21:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Sharp kneed Aussie vixen's mail order bride plan unravels when quick and attentive customs folks read a few pages from her diary and check the Facebook feed [Asinine]

Monday 22 May 21:40:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » I'll see your Nazi-Muslim convert and raise you an Arkansas caretaker who gnawed her elderly client to death in an alcohol-fueled frenzy of gore [Sick]

Monday 22 May 21:00:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » 2017 shaping up to be the "Summer Of Poo-Poo Pools" [Sick]

Monday 22 May 20:40:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » News: A certain medication is in short supply in the U.S. Fark: baking soda [Facepalm]

Monday 22 May 20:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Carry on wayward whale, they'll be peace when we un-stuck you [Misc]

Monday 22 May 20:02:32 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this fluffy pink metaphor [Photoshop]

Monday 22 May 20:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » You've been robbed, m'lady [Scary]

Monday 22 May 19:44:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "You know, before I repair this guy's £170,000 sports car, I probably should take it out for a test drive. What could go wrong?" [Facepalm]

Monday 22 May 19:20:05 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Peace and Quiet

Monday 22 May 19:13:10 UTC 2017

Ohio inventor Philip Clover came up with a dramatic way to discourage body snatchers in 1878: a “coffin torpedo.” Basically a live cartridge is attached to the body by hidden wires so that “any attempt to remove the body after burial will cause the … injury or death of the desecrator of the grave”: The trigger-wires are secured to the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "A white supremacist is being accused of fatally shooting his two neo-Nazi roommates after they objected to his decision to convert to Islam." There is one tag alone that can do this story justice [Florida]

Monday 22 May 19:01:54 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Amazon's Jeff Bezos has plans for a city on the moon, which will no doubt serve as a giant interplanetary package sorting and delivery center [Interesting]

Monday 22 May 18:41:54 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Deep gaping maw of destruction opens up at Trump's Mar-a-Lago [Florida]

Monday 22 May 18:23:37 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross marvels at lack of protesters in Saudi Arabia during Trump visit, forgets what the country DOES to said protesters [Dumbass]

Monday 22 May 17:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Mountaineers confirm that the famous "Hillary Step," the last obstacle on ascending Mount Everest, has collapsed, making climbing Mount Everest practically impossible. Or maybe just making it really easy [Strange]

Monday 22 May 17:44:47 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: A week of WTF [FarkBlog]

Monday 22 May 17:21:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Tomi Lahren tries to mock Notre Dame graduates for voicing their opinions. Doesn't realize she is currently unemployed for doing something similar [Fail]

Monday 22 May 17:16:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Here is Texas Monthly's 2017 list of the top 50 BBQ joints in the state. Have you eaten at any of them? [Cool]

Monday 22 May 16:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Fabio says all women need guns because California "Is Releasing All The Rapists". Perhaps he's worried about being goosed [Dumbass]

Monday 22 May 16:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Melania Trump slaps away Donald's hand in public, as physical contact is no longer part of their revised contract [Strange]

Monday 22 May 15:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Caption these fighting foxes [Caption]

Monday 22 May 15:16:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Think we should put a steel plate over this giant hole we dug for sewer work? Nah, it's just an alley, what's the worst that could happen? [Fail]

Monday 22 May 14:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Ruffled residents in England fill potholes with rubber ducks, accusing city council of ducking safety issue [Amusing]

Monday 22 May 14:24:21 UTC 2017

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Overheard In The Office » Sometimes You Can Feel All Meaning Evaporating Right Out of Your Head

Monday 22 May 13:52:17 UTC 2017

Secretary: She said she’s having trouble with her desktop…
Manager: Her desktop or her laptop?
Secretary: Desktop.
Manager: So the one that sits on the desk, or the one that she can carry around with her?
Secretary: Yes. Portland, Oregon [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An oil company is actually doing something nice for once [Cool]

Monday 22 May 13:50:04 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Looking For Girls

Monday 22 May 13:21:06 UTC 2017

One for the strange excuses file.

Freeport Journal Standard – Apr 26, 1954 [Link]

Weird Universe » Jack the Stripper

Monday 22 May 13:21:05 UTC 2017

Original article here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Neighbors say nuns are trapping, relocating their cats. Wait, what? [Strange]

Monday 22 May 13:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this breakfast [Photoshop]

Monday 22 May 13:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » All that talk of Amy Fisher keeping a low profile since returning to Long Island? Well, about that [Followup]

Monday 22 May 12:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Ted Cruz once asked Stephen Colbert to 'humanize' him. Apparently he was sick of being mistaken for a blobfish [Awkward]

Monday 22 May 12:25:21 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » It's time we take the cute gloves off concerning White House pets and rank them for how cool or weird they really were. Subby's going to bow to Satan, President John Adams' mixed-breed dog [Interesting]

Monday 22 May 12:15:21 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Racist snowflake melts down in Reno airport [Murica]

Monday 22 May 12:08:21 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Looking for something warm and fuzzy to help deal with the Mondays? Here is a pit bull and two guinea pigs being great friends [Sappy]

Monday 22 May 11:39:22 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » L.A. dog owners turn to spiked vests to prevent pets from becoming coyote kibble [Amusing]

Monday 22 May 10:59:21 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man arrested after driving drunk and crashing his car. Fark: Into the sheriff's brand new drunk-driving awareness vehicle [Florida]

Monday 22 May 10:11:21 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man, sea lions are dicks [Obvious]

Monday 22 May 9:04:21 UTC 2017

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GraphJam » What my dad says after "you know what I always say…"

Monday 22 May 9:01:27 UTC 2017

Cheezburger Image 3451896320 Graph by: DOOF Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » My Cat's Decision-Making Tree

Monday 22 May 9:01:19 UTC 2017

flow charts decision making Cats charts belongings mine annoying yes no categoryimage - 6652988160 LoL by: (via Tastefully Offensive) Tagged: flow charts , decision making , Cats , charts , belongings , mine , annoying , yes , no , categoryimage Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Delta dump [Scary]

Monday 22 May 8:31:22 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Lady gets locked inside CVS. The tag should not surprise us [Florida]

Monday 22 May 8:13:17 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » For all the talk of "let's live for today", and therapy trying to confront the past, it turns out that the central function of the brain is prospecting outcomes for the future [Spiffy]

Monday 22 May 7:17:21 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 154: Spared by a Volcano

Monday 22 May 7:00:51 UTC 2017

The worst volcanic disaster of the 20th century struck Martinique in 1902, killing 30,000 people in the scenic town of Saint-Pierre. But rescuers found one man alive — a 27-year-old laborer in a dungeon-like jail cell. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll meet Ludger Sylbaris, who P.T. Barnum called “The Only Living Object That Survived in … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Oh, the huge amenities" [Interesting]

Monday 22 May 6:37:22 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » ♫ Thank you for helping with bills ♫ [Interesting]

Monday 22 May 2:46:58 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Things were certainly slower in the 19th century, even the first car ever to get a speeding ticket was caught by a policeman on a bicycle [Interesting]

John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons