Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Man walks up the pulpit during church services, pulls his pants down and shows his quarter inch killer to parishioners because "The Lord told me to do it." Amen [Florida]

Monday 8 May 23:58:43 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Jacob Dekema, the man who is to blame for 6 lanes of bumper-to-bumper traffic in California, has died at a weirdly appropriate age [Sad]

Monday 8 May 23:34:43 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » From the office of Dear God Why, I bring you a James Patterson / Bill Clinton collaboration [Facepalm]

Monday 8 May 23:29:59 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Tonight at 8PM EDT, Paul's Memory Bank continues with Part 2 of songs beginning with "L", it's like the swing through the alphabet got slowed down a bit [Live]

Monday 8 May 23:20:29 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Ryanair staff practices collective punishment on entire flight when passenger fails to comply with instructions [Sick]

Monday 8 May 23:10:43 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Old chef yells at 'cloud eggs' [Silly]

Monday 8 May 22:46:43 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Thorough

Monday 8 May 22:24:09 UTC 2017

Obscure but interesting: In his 1857 history of the West Branch Valley of the Susquehanna River, John Franklin Meginness quotes a 1793 indenture that purports to trace the title to a plot of Pennsylvania land back to the creation of mankind: Whereas, the Creator of the earth, by parole and livery of seisin, did enfeoff the parents of mankind, to … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you left a black suitcase stuffed with eight bricks of heroin in a yellow cab last week, New York police would like to have a word with you [Fail]

Monday 8 May 22:16:43 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Have you ever rented arm candy to attend social events as your fake spouse because your real spouse was too awkward or ugly to be seen with? "It was an act of deception, but in my line of work, image and status are important – it's everything

Monday 8 May 21:50:03 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » You could be sitting on a goldmine in your own home. You just have to scrape it off your stove [Interesting]

Monday 8 May 21:20:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Headline claims "Sinkholes now appearing in the wrong places". But have they ever appeared in any right places? [Fail]

Monday 8 May 20:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Tiny house village opened for homeless people, allowing them to finally experience the joys of being mocked for being millennials [Interesting]

Monday 8 May 20:20:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this cat, winner gets a TotalFark sponsorship (details in thread) [Photoshop]

Monday 8 May 20:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » You know things are bad when Paris isn't the most embarrassing member of the clan [Dumbass]

Monday 8 May 19:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man breaks onto house, steals gun, electronics, jewelry, grandpa's ashes. With mugshot of grandpa ash thief [Asinine]

Monday 8 May 19:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Let's flip & sell Ted Bundy's house, what's the worst that can happen? [Scary]

Monday 8 May 18:50:03 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Parting Words

Monday 8 May 18:33:45 UTC 2017

Inventor Robert Barrows thought up a high-tech memorial in 2005: a hollowed-out headstone equipped with a weatherproofed computer monitor. “I envision being able to walk through a cemetery using a remote control, clicking on graves and what all the people buried there have to say,” he told the Wall Street Journal. “They can say all the things they didn’t have … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know when they say 'he died doing what he loved'? Well that probably doesn't apply to this guy, unless what he loved was falling out of the windows of castles [Sad]

Monday 8 May 18:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "Sleeping with my wife's corpse was a great way to grieve" [Unlikely]

Monday 8 May 18:05:23 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "Welcome to the post office, how can I help you?" "Yeh, ummmm, I want some stamps and envelopes and also to verify my age so I can watch porn" [Stupid]

Monday 8 May 17:38:43 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Strip club classifies dancers as therapists to avoid paying state taxes. Court disagrees. Payment to be made in singles [Interesting]

Monday 8 May 17:04:26 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: Holster your rooster and read this [FarkBlog]

Monday 8 May 16:30:09 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Twins do everything together, even get arrested on their birthday [Dumbass]

Monday 8 May 16:11:11 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » In the 1960s, it was "If we've lost Walter Cronkite, we've lost America." In the Twenty-teens, it's "piss off John Oliver and your website is toast." The FCC's servers melt down after John Oliver urges viewers to comme

Monday 8 May 16:11:09 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Böögg, the giant snowman predicts a hot summer ahead just after the Swiss population burn him at the stake and his head explodes [Weird]

Monday 8 May 15:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Running short of excuses for delays, rail operator tries the old llamas on the line ploy [Unlikely]

Monday 8 May 15:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you bought some gold bars from a couple of teenagers in Oregon, I have some bad news for you [Fake]

Monday 8 May 14:50:04 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Obese, the Freak Fat Mouse

Monday 8 May 14:28:56 UTC 2017

A fat mouse that was bred at Jackson Laboratory in Bar Harbor, Maine during the late 1940s/early 1950s. The researchers called him "Obese," or "O.B." for short. As in, that was his name, not just a description of what he was. Fat mice bred from Obese were used in the study of diabetes and obesity.

Newsweek – Apr 2, 1951
Ellen … [Link]

Weird Universe » Thrashin’

Monday 8 May 14:28:55 UTC 2017

Wikipedia entry here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Three years and five months after the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor, it was over [Hero]

Monday 8 May 14:20:05 UTC 2017

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Overheard In The Office » 3PM Coffee Break

Monday 8 May 13:50:52 UTC 2017

Worker #1: How are you feeling? Coming down with anything?
Worker #2: No, but it seems like everyone else is.
Worker #1: If you get sick, I’m a doctor so I can take care of you.
I’ve got a BS, a CS and a DD. That’s a degree in Back Stabbing, Cork-Screwing, and Double-Dealing 2320 West Highway 76
Branson, Missouri … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Idiot with baseball bat goes to confront driver about his driving. The driver, an MMA fighter, gives him a quick lesson on why that was a really bad idea [Stupid]

Monday 8 May 13:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » FYI Hell doesn't have access to the rainbow bridge [Unlikely]

Monday 8 May 13:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Sausage recalled at BJ's [PSA]

Monday 8 May 12:41:43 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Bad: Heading into the next UN climate summit to figure out the rules for implementing the climate-rescue Paris Agreement, the numbers look pretty bad for planet Earth. Worse: Trump wants to rewrite the math [Scary]

Monday 8 May 11:58:36 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Police incident cleared in Harrisburg after 4 hours and the involvement of SWAT, but nothing to see move along [Murica]

Monday 8 May 11:21:39 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Well, it's just after eight o'clock, and time for the penguin on top of your Falkland Islands to explode. I said, it's time to explode. Aren't you going to explode? [Cool]

Monday 8 May 11:09:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The Anchorage Police Department does not approve of a bill that would make it illegal for officers to have sexual contact with any prostitutes they're investigating [Obvious]

Monday 8 May 10:56:08 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » RIP, Pepe the Frog. Donations in lieu of flowers to the Anti-Fascist Network, the LGBT foundation, or the Human Rights Campaign please [Sad]

Monday 8 May 10:23:10 UTC 2017

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GraphJam » The Internet Loves Promiscuity

Monday 8 May 9:54:22 UTC 2017

Bar Graph promiscuity relationships whatdoestheinternetthink - 6110558720 Graph by: michellelburdick Tagged: Bar Graph , promiscuity , relationships , whatdoestheinternetthink Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The first national satanic monument is in…Minnesota? [Unlikely]

Monday 8 May 9:48:08 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Horrific abuse and a coverup shows a Penn State fraternity learned all the wrong lessons from JoePa [Obvious]

Monday 8 May 8:49:08 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » 4:14 p.m: A Columbia Falls man reported that his neighbor's dog is a jerk [Murica]

Monday 8 May 8:14:10 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » And the award for the most tasteless Cinco De Mayo party 2017 goes to Hennessey's Tavern in Orange County for setting up an inflatable border wall and handing out "free drink" green cards [Followup]

Monday 8 May 7:18:09 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Tents do not work as personal flotation devices [PSA]

Monday 8 May 7:18:08 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » A record-breaking 29 babies were born on the same day at Nebraska's Methodist Women's Hospital [Awkward]

Monday 8 May 6:15:25 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Protip: If you call the police about illegally parked cars in front of your business, try not to be the one who drilled holes in more than 20 of their tires [Dumbass]

Monday 8 May 5:51:20 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The explanation for why there is a worm at the bottom of tequila [Sick]

Monday 8 May 5:36:28 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » HOLY ANCIENT CURSES, BATMAN: 7,000 bodies from a 19th century asylum discovered buried under Ole Miss campus [Creepy]

Monday 8 May 5:21:26 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man dies after being ejected from his own car which then ran over him. The Darwin list squad has been alerted. New on ABC [Sad]

Monday 8 May 2:48:34 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Over 50,000 Germans remain displaced after British bombing missions. In fact, this is a repeat from 1944 … only with less "big splosions here" action (we hope) [Scary]

Monday 8 May 2:10:43 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Teacher suspended for making a Trump piñata. Which raises the question, what do you fill a Trump piñata with? [Amusing]

Monday 8 May 1:25:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "Well, that's every shoe in the place. Unless, of course, you'd like to try the cruel shoes" [Silly]

Monday 8 May 0:47:43 UTC 2017

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John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons