Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Russia vs. China vs. USA – who you got? [Murica]

Wednesday 3 May 23:51:10 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Ballistic missile test-fired by military of despotic regime [Murica]

Wednesday 3 May 23:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "Whenever I break into a neighbor's home, my tastes are simple: a slug of moonshine, a cheese sandwich, and a pickle" [Dumbass]

Wednesday 3 May 23:46:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you're a teacher using heroin at school, don't leave your Facebook page open. Also, WTF is wrong with this reporter's forehead??? [Facepalm]

Wednesday 3 May 23:39:59 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you recently moved from Florida to Alaska hoping to avoid giant baby-eating snakes, we have some bad news for you [Scary]

Wednesday 3 May 23:16:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Just a dash cam capturing a plane crashing on the highway [Scary]

Wednesday 3 May 22:46:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » No, you can't use your cell phone as your scooter's headlight because there's no app for that [Florida]

Wednesday 3 May 22:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Mother forced from home after Brazilian spiders burst out of a banana. That's a lot of spiders [Scary]

Wednesday 3 May 22:05:54 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Good news, everyone. That collapsed I-85 bridge in Atlanta should be completely rebuilt by the holiday. If we're lucky, that be Labor Day [Followup]

Wednesday 3 May 21:41:54 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Auto accelerates unexpectedly through auction – killing 3 and injuring many. Difficulty : Not an early 2000's Camry [Scary]

Wednesday 3 May 21:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Please submit your account information in the link to the right to learn how to avoid this dangerous phishing attack [Scary]

Wednesday 3 May 21:17:27 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » My hovercraft is full of chicken [Cool]

Wednesday 3 May 21:08:31 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Woman gives birth to 13-pound baby in natural delivery. Doctors await to see who will walk first [Strange]

Wednesday 3 May 20:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Bottles of gin recalled for containing the correct amount of alcohol [Interesting]

Wednesday 3 May 20:34:19 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Not news: Amusement park opens new claw machine. Fark: With live kittens as prizes [Spiffy]

Wednesday 3 May 20:18:19 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Suspects arrested in Knox Box burglaries. Apparently, the Knox Box needs locks [Interesting]

Wednesday 3 May 20:03:19 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this contemplative young man [Photoshop]

Wednesday 3 May 20:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." -Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing. Well, I've got part of that down, at least. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread [CSB]

Wednesday 3 May 19:48:19 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » That'll do, pup. That'll do [Sappy]

Wednesday 3 May 19:34:12 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Puerto Rico files bankruptcy equal to four Detroits, will look good on its next statehood application [Sad]

Wednesday 3 May 19:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Hillary Clinton caught driving drunk in Pennsylvania. I don't know about you guys, but I think we really dodged a bullet in the election [Fake]

Wednesday 3 May 19:12:18 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Here's a great idea: Climb to the top of a mountain considered sacred to indigenous people and take a naked selfie. Who would ever have a problem with that? (blurred nekked pic warning) [Facepalm]

Wednesday 3 May 18:57:18 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » 'Crimson Canals in Stanislaus County' sounds like a bad summer romance novel [Strange]

Wednesday 3 May 18:42:18 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Is wearing Hawaiian shirts considered cultural appropriation? [Stupid]

Wednesday 3 May 18:28:11 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Sometimes you walk into a bar and come out drunk, other times you walk into a bar and come out with $3.5 million [Spiffy]

Wednesday 3 May 18:14:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Police caller: "I just killed my wife." Police, later: "No, you didn't. That's not even a real gun" [Strange]

Wednesday 3 May 17:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Active shooter alert at North Lake College in Irving TX [Live]

Wednesday 3 May 17:34:51 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Funeral home accused of refusing to cremate gay man. Apparently, like breaking a mirror, that's seven years of bad luck [Asinine]

Wednesday 3 May 17:32:17 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Cheeky toddler locks himself in car and loves every minute of it [Amusing]

Wednesday 3 May 17:10:28 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » You had one job, funeral home [Fail]

Wednesday 3 May 16:53:19 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Magnet school has long waiting list and admission by lottery… except good athletes can skip the line. So it really does prepare children for college [Obvious]

Wednesday 3 May 16:36:11 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Lowering standards to meet new recruit quotas includes all programs, even Navy K-9 Corps [Amusing]

Wednesday 3 May 16:16:11 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Dad pranks his two teen daughters by sending them into the auto parts store for 'Blinker Fluid ' and a 'Bucket of Steam'. However the real joke is the dad wearing a Detroit Lions cap [Amusing]

Wednesday 3 May 15:59:02 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Fake war hero found guilty of lying about winning the Purple Heart in a top-secret jungle mission. He might have gotten away with it had he not gone a bit too far with the embellishment and claimed BA Baracus saved him from the jaws of Predator [Dumb

Wednesday 3 May 15:41:54 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » New Mexico science teacher pleads guilty to cooking crystal meth, pitching reality series to AMC [Strange]

Wednesday 3 May 15:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Tyson announces switch to antibiotic free chicken, face tattoo staying though [Interesting]

Wednesday 3 May 14:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The real reason North Korea's latest missile blew up was that it was 'headed for Russia' [Followup]

Wednesday 3 May 14:37:13 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Local brewery posts rules after kids cause repeatedly damage property in its Biergarten. Rule #1: Unsupervised children will be aged in wooden bourbon casks [Florida]

Wednesday 3 May 14:20:05 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » Pineapple Becomes Art

Wednesday 3 May 14:16:04 UTC 2017

Random object mistaken as art. Over at Robert Gordon University in Scotland, fourth-year student Ruairi Gray claims that he bought a pineapple from the local supermarket and then placed it beside the "Look Again" art and design exhibition at the university.

He returned a few days later and discovered that his pineapple had been moved into a glass case. [RGU:Union] … [Link]

Weird Universe » Salongo

Wednesday 3 May 14:16:03 UTC 2017

A forgotten early album by the Insane Clown Posse?

Ramsey Lewis at Wikipedia. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » America's most hated mom was out and about in Florida, hitting up happy hour [Florida]

Wednesday 3 May 14:08:05 UTC 2017

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Overheard In The Office » Which One is the “One”?

Wednesday 3 May 14:02:49 UTC 2017

Peon: Is one million with six zeros?
Boss: Yes, and a one. 10877 Watson Road
St. Louis, Missouri [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Honestly, we thought all-inclusive meant we didn't have to pay for anything on the entire island during our stay" [Fail]

Wednesday 3 May 13:44:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » In news you may have missed, an Ohio man charged at his son with a hatchet. Click not for the story, but the photo [Obvious]

Wednesday 3 May 13:20:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this police standoff [Photoshop]

Wednesday 3 May 13:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The Coal industry has proven to be a source of high-paying jobs where wages have risen 60% in the past 8 years…in the executive suite. The poor saps giving themselves black lung actually digging the stuff out of the ground? They're getting scre

Wednesday 3 May 12:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Hamburglar steals iconic Ronald McDonald statute [Sad]

Wednesday 3 May 11:32:26 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » One is the loneliest number for this dog named Eastwood, as he was the only dog left after 2,500 shelter dogs were adopted from his shelter [Sad]

Wednesday 3 May 10:41:25 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » As an EMT, you have a lot of responsibilities on your shoulders. Giving a pregnant teen a pelvic exam is not one of them [Obvious]

Wednesday 3 May 9:32:26 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "The look of realization on the cat's face upon realizing that the hamster smells like food seems to send the feline into a moment of existential shock" [Video]

Wednesday 3 May 8:46:26 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » Nature Reading

Wednesday 3 May 6:36:40 UTC 2017

Image: Wikimedia Commons In Germany, where modern forestry began, a curious new sort of literature arose in the 18th century: Some enthusiast thought to go one better than the botanical volumes that merely illustrated the taxonomy of trees. Instead the books themselves were to be fabricated from their subject matter, so that the volume on Fagus, for example, the common European … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Underwear-clad carjacking suspect arrested in Orange City Walmart. Why does Fark allow only one Florida tag? [Florida]

Wednesday 3 May 2:41:59 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » A handicapped parking space dispute in the Miracle Mile Plaza doesn't have to involve a hand gun and a neck beard to appear on Fark, but it helps [Dumbass]

Wednesday 3 May 2:41:53 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Alaskan lottery relies on a wooden tripod hooked to some antique clocks via a metal cleaver and a barrel of rocks. Rube Goldberg and the Mythbusters approve [Amusing]

Wednesday 3 May 2:20:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » I think this article says that the sun never shines in Butt Falls, but I didn't really read it carefully [Weird]

Wednesday 3 May 1:58:15 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Canada made marijuana illegal 94 years ago but were too blitzed to remember why [Spiffy]

Wednesday 3 May 1:36:26 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you are a convicted felon legally barred from owning a firearm, do not brandish one on Facebook Live [PSA]

Wednesday 3 May 1:14:37 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Woman loses lawsuit to reveal identity of male escort she says got her pregnant, which is probably good since she hasn't been named either [Giggity]

Wednesday 3 May 0:52:48 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Colgate University in Upstate New York went on lockdown for over 4 hours last night because someone saw an art student enter the student center with a GLUE GUN for a project. Authorities believe the charges won't stick [Amusing]

Wednesday 3 May 0:30:59 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Trump, 2016: "We're gonna build a wall, and Mexico will pay for it". EU, 2017: "We're going to demand £92 billion, and the UK will pay it" [Dumbass]

Wednesday 3 May 0:11:22 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Pols to Amtrak: Fix NYC's Penn Station ASAP. Amtrak: Ok, we've devised a plan where we can take six weeks to do major work over the summer while commuters are on vacation. Pols: AUGH. The disruptions [Facepalm]

Wednesday 3 May 0:09:17 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Canadian Defence Minister on visit to India says he was responsible for the winged Afghani human female with living venomous snakes in her hair then changes his story [Ironic]

John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons