John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Ah, spring in Florida: the flowers bloom, the cold slips away and the native drunken Florida Men strip naked and pick up their machetes to destroy mailboxes [Florida]

Tuesday 2 May 23:47:21 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » On the plus side, everyone now knows he really did have a Canadian girlfriend [Sad]

Tuesday 2 May 23:25:32 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When putting together an Easter basket for your niece or nephew to bring in to school, it's usually best to leave the marijuana out [Dumbass]

Tuesday 2 May 23:03:43 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Twin sisters give birth on the same day nine months after their probable orgy [Sappy]

Tuesday 2 May 22:41:54 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oregon man attempts to reenact woodchipper scene from Fargo [Scary]

Tuesday 2 May 22:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kansas City Archdiocese parts ways with group because it reflects 'troubling trends'. I totally see it, not towing the Catholic dogma line, pushing their own agenda. They're a dangerous and radical group of thugs, like drug dealers Fark:

Tuesday 2 May 22:10:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Day by Day

Tuesday 2 May 21:55:47 UTC 2017

Spanish artist Oscar Diaz found a literal way to mark time: He designed a calendar that writes itself. The dates of each month are embossed as a connected series of numbers on a sheet of paper; when the first digit is inserted into a bottle of ink, capillary action draws up the fluid and informs each date in succession over … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turns out you can't physically and psychologically abuse your children for that sweet, sweet YouTube fame [Followup]

Tuesday 2 May 21:30:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [141 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's flying termite swarm season in New Orleans [Creepy]

Tuesday 2 May 21:10:04 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [32 comments] [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » You're not going to believe what I'm about to tell you

Tuesday 2 May 20:52:22 UTC 2017

You're not going to believe what I'm about to tell youThis is a comic about the backfire effect.View [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are many reasons you never hear the words 'Scottish' and 'surfer' in the same sentence. This is probably one of them [Scary]

Tuesday 2 May 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman prays, then stomps out car windshield of man she thought was her boyfriend. With glass stomping video [Amusing]

Tuesday 2 May 20:37:24 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nominee for Secretary of the Army thinks evolution is like a rusting lawn mower [Asinine]

Tuesday 2 May 20:18:57 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [172 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual lines from actual lawsuit: "Chaos ensued. The masseuse panicked and jumped onto the Jet Ski with the captain" [Facepalm]

Tuesday 2 May 20:14:07 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these jaws [Photoshop]

Tuesday 2 May 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man found nailed to a tree. Jesus, that has got to hurt [Sick]

Tuesday 2 May 19:55:39 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NYPD drill atop the Brooklyn Bridge sparks concern from onlookers, Gwen Stacy [Scary]

Tuesday 2 May 19:37:12 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why sloths don't get 'crusty eyes'. Fark.com – All sloth factoids, all the time [Interesting]

Tuesday 2 May 19:20:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ISIS terrorist found with James Bond style spy cufflinks sentenced to eight years in prison, or until he breaks out with his laser belt buckle, whichever comes first [Strange]

Tuesday 2 May 19:10:33 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You may have to drink Jose Cuervo instead of Patron on Cinco de Mayo to offset your guac costs [Interesting]

Tuesday 2 May 18:54:33 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems…. especially on Fark [Dumbass]

Tuesday 2 May 18:38:33 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remains of 20 coyotes found – roadrunner spotted snickering behind nearby shrub [Followup]

Tuesday 2 May 18:23:33 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teacher lets students duct tape him to wall for charity. That Charity must be really persuasive [Strange]

Tuesday 2 May 18:08:33 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hamas announces that while they still don't recognize Israel as a state, they don't really want to destroy it anymore. Small steps [Unlikely]

Tuesday 2 May 17:46:44 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Unquote

Tuesday 2 May 17:34:17 UTC 2017

“It is a waste of energy to be angry with a man who behaves badly, just as it is to be angry with a car that won’t go. The difference is that you can compel your car to go to a garage, but you cannot compel Hitler to go to a psychiatrist.” — Bertrand Russell [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Human bones? Nah, not us mate, we're just badgers. Look, I'm badgering. Not digging up graves. No sirree Bob [Amusing]

Tuesday 2 May 17:20:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protests, in Seattle: "Screw you for voting for Trump" "Screw you for voting for . . . hey, man, is that weed?" "Hell, yeah, bro, pass it around." *puff* "What were protesting, again?" *puff* "Dunno. Eh, screw it&#

Tuesday 2 May 17:04:44 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » D&D Therapy – Roll a wisdom check against that CR15 Bipolar Bear [Interesting]

Tuesday 2 May 16:40:44 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Automobile ownership 101: Want to see if your fuel tank is full? Don't use a lighter [Dumbass]

Tuesday 2 May 16:16:44 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former Democratic lawmaker, now apparently chairman of the Lemon Party, indicted on sexual battery charges [Giggity]

Tuesday 2 May 15:29:26 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman steals watches, money from men after sleeping with them. Kidneys intact [Florida]

Tuesday 2 May 15:20:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Indian state minister orders 10,000 bats for distribution to newly-wed women to combat domestic violence [Scary]

Tuesday 2 May 15:14:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Saudi man sentenced to death for insulting Muhammad on Twitter. Ironically this tactic also gave Donald Trump four years in the White House [Scary]

Tuesday 2 May 14:51:52 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [266 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New research shows that the "organic milk" you're so proud of spending so much money on probably isn't, you know, organic. In other news, "fat free" products don't make you skinny, "diet" sodas are bad for you, and

Tuesday 2 May 14:50:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [330 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Officer: My shooting of an unarmed black teenager was justified because the car he was in was backing toward me aggressively. Chief: What about this video? Officer: F*ck [Fail]

Tuesday 2 May 14:33:06 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [467 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Mystery Illustration 44

Tuesday 2 May 14:21:28 UTC 2017

What is this woman's domestic sin? Unable to make coffee? Wears curlers to bed? Bad breath?

Answer after the jump.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » For some reason, deputy is offended to be referred to as "Captain Boobs" at work [Florida]

Tuesday 2 May 13:50:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Left by wife, becomes caveman

Tuesday 2 May 13:43:00 UTC 2017

There's two ways to read this. Either this guy really took the break-up hard. Or, after his wife left him, he decided to live exactly as he wanted, and he was the happiest man in the world.

I suspect there's a lot of married men who would revert to a caveman-like existence (perhaps to a less extreme degree) without the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these legs [Photoshop]

Tuesday 2 May 13:30:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mar-a-Lago spares no expense for the guests entertainment, including spectacular fireworks and dead civilians [Sick]

Tuesday 2 May 12:04:14 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The family that Yales together, stays together [Cool]

Tuesday 2 May 11:10:23 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You'll probably want to avoid those antique shaving brushes unless you want anthrax with your shave [Scary]

Tuesday 2 May 11:09:22 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » America is safe again after Immigration officials detain Australian for overstaying his visa by 90 minutes [Murica]

Tuesday 2 May 8:19:24 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever wanted to see warn-torn Mosul? No? Well how about from the eyes of a drone? What, still no? Come on, it's CNN. They give the people what they want [Interesting]

Tuesday 2 May 6:23:22 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » First he stole her heart. Then he stole her gaming consoles [Florida]

Tuesday 2 May 6:11:28 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some NBA players spend their retirement buying mini giraffes. Ray Allen spends his teaching people about the Holocaust [Hero]

Tuesday 2 May 5:48:13 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Almost every speed limit is too low," said: A) Dom Toretto, B) Dale Jr., or C) Michigan State Police [Interesting]

Tuesday 2 May 4:10:06 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [179 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Newest problem with the kids these days: Having a fall-back option in case their current relationship doesn't work out. Because no one ever did that in the olden days [Dumbass]

Tuesday 2 May 2:50:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A history of crossing the US/Mexico border [Interesting]

Tuesday 2 May 2:02:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No arrests made at the NFL draft in Philly. I mean, that's great and all, but they haven't even played their first game yet. Give em time [Interesting]

Tuesday 2 May 1:14:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Right Perspective

Tuesday 2 May 0:46:07 UTC 2017

French artist François Abélanet creates anamorphic landscape illusions. “With my creations, I transform fiction into reality,” he writes. “Where there’s a garden, a plaza, a courtyard, or a confined space, I see a playing field where everyone is invited to participate, to play with nature. Indeed, I like the idea that nature lives its own life and becomes its own … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman finds plea from Chinese worker imprisoned in factory hidden in her Walmart purse. In other news, Walmart items may not be American made, but at least they're hand-made by folks worse off than you are [Sad]

Tuesday 2 May 0:43:24 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Orleans makes Mardis Gras slightly more interesting [Interesting]

Tuesday 2 May 0:26:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop the beautiful beaches of Scotland [Photoshop]

Tuesday 2 May 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

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