John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Let's see, I accidentally the DJ server checking the playlist preshow, so who knows if I'll get through the full 2 hours of tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8 PM EDT) letter "I" show without doing something equally stupid [Live]

Monday 10 April 23:54:50 UTC 2017

Live [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mexican Church reveals Captain America was not the first but the second avenger. The first one was Jesus Christ. No word on if Pope Francis will join the Marvel Canon revision process [Weird]

Monday 10 April 23:53:06 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Please note: when ordering food, be specific about what you want [Strange]

Monday 10 April 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The first ever Canadian Juggalo Gathering occurred this weekend. Does orange Faygo pair well with poutine? [Weird]

Monday 10 April 23:30:04 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Gross Thing Drivers Did Before Windshield Wipers Were Invented

Monday 10 April 23:30:00 UTC 2017

Can you even call this "cleaning" your windshield? [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Fascinating Tours for True Crime Buffs

Monday 10 April 23:26:47 UTC 2017

Historical bad guys can fascinate even the most law-abiding among us. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Father and daughter in convertible doused with manure. Teenage time traveler wearing life preserver wanted for questioning [Sick]

Monday 10 April 23:10:04 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seman everywhere [Sick]

Monday 10 April 22:49:17 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who shot and killed Texas deputy is found to have committed suicide by shooting himself fifteen times in the head [Obvious]

Monday 10 April 22:30:49 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 'The X-Files' Is Becoming an Audiobook

Monday 10 April 22:30:00 UTC 2017

Adapted from a set of graphic novels and starring David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, 'The X-Files: Cold Cases' is a reboot for the podcast age. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida Man puts the load in front loader at Soapy's Coin Laundromat [Florida]

Monday 10 April 22:12:22 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man eats 255 Peeps to break world record, might want to avoid microwave ovens for a few days [Spiffy]

Monday 10 April 21:53:54 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » " . . . He was scared because this was the first time he was shot" Because after a half-dozen times or so, I guess you get used to it [Florida]

Monday 10 April 21:35:27 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Yesterday at the North Pole, Marathoners Ran Across 26.2 Miles of Pure Ice

Monday 10 April 21:30:00 UTC 2017

The destination marathon is a circular course that goes around a North Pole camp 10 times. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When releasing doves at a funeral, take care not to do it near a busy road [Fail]

Monday 10 April 21:17:00 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Taxicab Confessions, Difficulty: Findlay, Ohio [Facepalm]

Monday 10 April 21:04:15 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Researchers Have Created a Stabbing Robot to Solve Crimes

Monday 10 April 21:00:00 UTC 2017

The knife-wielding machine could help forensic investigators identify blade characteristics from the holes they leave in fabric. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seeing all the free publicity that United has been getting, Delta decides to enter the fray [Fail]

Monday 10 April 20:58:32 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Will the Europa Lander Search for Life?

Monday 10 April 20:41:21 UTC 2017

New details on the breaking-edge mission to the Jovian moon. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hacker breaks into Dallas' tornado warning system. Hilarity ensues loudly [Strange]

Monday 10 April 20:40:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bill to legalize marijuana in Canada expected to be tabled on Thursday. Poutine & ketchup chip munchie run expected later on that evening [Spiffy]

Monday 10 April 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Call center scam artist named "Shaggy" unloads his assets tries to disappear in his mystery machine, and he would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for those meddling Interpol RCNs [Obvious]

Monday 10 April 20:08:32 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this nerd fight [Photoshop]

Monday 10 April 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Exploding Moth Populations Threaten England's Historic Sites

Monday 10 April 20:00:00 UTC 2017

Centuries-old tapestries, carpets, and taxidermied animals are at risk. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NYPD releases bodycam policies, which provide no avenue for public access, no punishment for failure to comply, and allows the officers to view bodycam footage before submitting a report, thus letting them modify the report to fit the footage [Fail]

Monday 10 April 19:50:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Meet the Artist Who Makes Smelly Art from Sweat and Bacteria

Monday 10 April 19:45:00 UTC 2017

Anicka Yi has an upcoming solo show at the Guggenheim Museum, opening April 21. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alabama Governor resigns to spend more time with his mistress [Followup]

Monday 10 April 19:37:34 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Cylon Three, pop-up single, BRA 250" could be radio chatter from several things, but this time it was from the US Air Force's Red Flag exercise [Cool]

Monday 10 April 19:32:31 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Are the Mountains on Mars So Much Taller Than Those on Earth?

Monday 10 April 19:30:00 UTC 2017

Gravity is only part of it. [Link]

Futility Closet » Unquote

Monday 10 April 19:14:12 UTC 2017

“Those writers who lay on the watch for novelty, could have little hope of greatness; for great things cannot have escaped former observation.” — Samuel Johnson “It is not once nor twice but times without number that the same ideas make their appearance in the world.” — Aristotle “What wise or stupid thing can man conceive
That was not thought … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Reason #18 why cats are better than dogs: You won't get into a gunfight over who has to walk the cat [Sad]

Monday 10 April 19:14:04 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 4 Steps to Take if You Clog a Public Toilet

Monday 10 April 18:30:00 UTC 2017

Stay calm, and handle this nightmare situation with grace. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In Florida, that "stop before someone loses an eye" warning for kids has been replaced by "stop before someone drives a car into the canal" [Florida]

Monday 10 April 18:20:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Multiple Gunshot Victims at Elementary School in San Bernardino [NewsFlash]

Monday 10 April 18:07:42 UTC 2017

NewsFlash [link] [561 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police begin using GPS tracking darts on cars in Colorado. Poison-arrow frog version still in development [Interesting]

Monday 10 April 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Don't Miss Out on Today's Best Amazon Deals

Monday 10 April 17:36:55 UTC 2017

From the Smart Shopping Team… [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Gin

Monday 10 April 17:36:52 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Hacks for Cleaning Tricky Spots in Your Home

Monday 10 April 17:36:46 UTC 2017

Help speed up your spring cleaning. [Link]

Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: Brits Attack at Arras

Monday 10 April 17:36:45 UTC 2017

Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 273rd installment in the series. [Link]

Mental Floss » Airplane Turbulence Could Get Much Worse in Coming Decades

Monday 10 April 17:30:00 UTC 2017

People who get nervous over turbulence during air travel should probably feel fortunate they don’t have to worry about what might be coming later this century. According to a new study from the Department of Meteorology at the University of Reading, the roller coaster sensation in passenger planes could see up to a 149 percent increase. The paper, which was … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why are fewer Americans trying to lose weight? Subby searched for the answer but it was too much work. Hey, you gonna finish that doughnut? [Obvious]

Monday 10 April 17:20:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [189 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » 7 Clicks (April 10, 2017)

Monday 10 April 17:12:12 UTC 2017

7 Clicks
A Weird Universe News Service
April 10, 2017

The Texas legislature is about to choose a "state gun" (Bowie knife? Colt .45?). Current favorite: a cannon. [The Guardian]

Hawaii officials are freaking out over the Angiostrongylus cantonensis bacterium, but if prevention calls for you not to undercook your worms, problem seems easily avoided. [ABC News]

Business model of … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guinness throws in the towel because of Brexit [Sad]

Monday 10 April 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Croatian Winery Ages Its Beverages at the Bottom of a Bay

Monday 10 April 16:30:00 UTC 2017

The final product looks like something pulled from a shipwreck. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » United Airlines debuts a bold new PR strategy that involves assaulting paying customers [Sick]

Monday 10 April 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [819 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Seriously Accomplished Sets of Siblings for National Sibling Day

Monday 10 April 16:00:00 UTC 2017

Happy National Sibling Day! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: Consequences of Farking [FarkBlog]

Monday 10 April 15:39:03 UTC 2017

FarkBlog [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Furry Friends Could Help Prevent Allergies and Obesity in Babies

Monday 10 April 15:30:00 UTC 2017

A study found higher levels of protective bacteria in infants who lived with cats and dogs. [Link]

Mental Floss » China Plans to Build New City to Deal With Overpopulation

Monday 10 April 15:00:00 UTC 2017

"Xiongan New Area" is part of a plan to help people move out of crowded, smoggy Beijing. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Best Grilled Cheese in All 50 States

Monday 10 April 14:59:15 UTC 2017

A warm, gooey grilled cheese is the ultimate comfort food. [Link]

Mental Floss » See Baby Stars Explode in Orion

Monday 10 April 14:59:13 UTC 2017

Astronomers looking into the center of a star-forming cloud in Orion discovered a pyrotechnic marvel. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mama giraffe has finally dropped her load [Spiffy]

Monday 10 April 14:40:49 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man downs two lobsters, 17 vodka shots, and 6 beers before running into the surf to skip bill. Police call out the jet skis to haul him in [Strange]

Monday 10 April 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I Can Be Suborned, Bob

Monday 10 April 14:01:43 UTC 2017

Colleague, stirring powdered cocoa mix into yogurt: Dammit, no one ever pays any attention to me until I do something just slightly gross, and then there's always a witness! Philadelphia, Pennsylvania [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'm not saying that a mountain-sized object that's crawling across the Pacific Ocean floor is an alien space ship disguised as a mountain …but it's an alien space ship disguised as a mountain [Strange]

Monday 10 April 13:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [139 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Blue Jeans Don’t Have a Rivet in the Crotch

Monday 10 April 13:45:00 UTC 2017

Levi Strauss removed it following complaints. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Prostitute who Michael Jacksoned Google executive to be Trumped back to Canada [Followup]

Monday 10 April 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this douchebag being proud for being a douchebag [Photoshop]

Monday 10 April 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Pennsylvania Wildlife Center Gives Orphaned Animals a New Lease on Life

Monday 10 April 13:00:00 UTC 2017

The Aark Wildlife Rehabilitation and Education Center in Pennsylvania rescues and rehabilitates more than 5200 injured and orphaned animals per year. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There is a 13,064- square-foot mansion in Arkansas free to the right charity as long as nobody minds that it was the place in the '70s where a cult leader keep the embalmed body of his wife for months while waiting for her to rise from the dead [

Monday 10 April 12:54:06 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » The Enema Bandit

Monday 10 April 12:50:05 UTC 2017

In the mid 1960s, the first reports surfaced of the activities of a sexual assailant who came to be known as the "enema bandit." Disguised by a ski mask, he would enter the rooms of coeds at various college campuses (usually in Oklahoma, but he also showed up in Kansas, Oklahoma, and California).

Holding his victims at gunpoint, he would … [Link]

Weird Universe » Real-Life Dick Tracy

Monday 10 April 12:50:04 UTC 2017





Original article here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some of the proposed designs for Trump's wall include drones, a toxic moat, remote-operated disintegration rays, random drunken Texans with guns, a three-hundred mile minefield. OK, some of those are made up but try to guess which ones [Facepalm]

Monday 10 April 12:50:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [123 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 149: The North Pond Hermit

Monday 10 April 12:00:27 UTC 2017


Image: Flickr Without any forethought or preparation, Christopher Knight walked into the Maine woods in 1986 and lived there in complete solitude for the next 27 years, subsisting on what he was able to steal from local cabins. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll tell the story of the North Pond hermit, one man’s attempt to divorce … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Terry Gilliam be mackin' [Amusing]

Monday 10 April 11:55:59 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tipping should NOT be in proportion to a percentage of the bill. It takes no extra work to bring a $60 plate of sushi over a $20 pizza [Obvious]

Monday 10 April 11:51:58 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [385 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It isn't a good camping trip unless somebody gets high on mushrooms, strips down, and throws a rock at somebody [Dumbass]

Monday 10 April 11:50:06 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Gin

Monday 10 April 11:15:00 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » This Deck of Cards Is Filled With Important Women From History

Monday 10 April 11:00:00 UTC 2017

Go ahead, play the woman card. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently "lunch shaming" is enough of a thing that states have started making it illegal [Murica]

Monday 10 April 10:13:43 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [267 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Butterfly Parasite

Monday 10 April 9:30:00 UTC 2017

Here's some links to get you through the day! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Blogger lives alone in one sealed room of house and sleeps on bathroom tile because she is convinced that everything outside that bubble will kill her. Yes, she's Australian but that's not the reason [Sick]

Monday 10 April 9:06:43 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [123 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Fascinating Way Trees Communicate With Each Other

Monday 10 April 8:30:00 UTC 2017

The wood wide web is more than just a play on words. [Link]

Mental Floss » Upcoming Exhibition Will Explore a Year in the Artistic Life of Pablo Picasso

Monday 10 April 7:30:00 UTC 2017

Held in Paris and London, "Picasso 1932" features more than 100 works from the period often referred to as the artist's "year of wonders." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A restaurant review of surpassing viciousness…for a €600 dinner at a restaurant run by a Michelin-starred chef. For example, the gratinated onions dish: "It is mostly black, like nightmares, and sticky, like the floor at a teenager's

Monday 10 April 6:36:49 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Amsterdam-Based Designers Create Lamps That Barely Look Like Lights at All

Monday 10 April 5:30:00 UTC 2017

The power cords are designed to be just as pretty as the lamps themselves. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » World's most ancient canid–similar to the New Guinea Singing Dog and thought to be extinct for 50 years–makes a comeback. Take a bow, New Guinea Wild Dog [Spiffy]

Monday 10 April 4:29:35 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A story so horrible it can use Hitler and concentration camps without invoking Godwin's Law [Sad]

Monday 10 April 3:56:00 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [180 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Pattern-Breaking Pattern

Monday 10 April 3:39:25 UTC 2017

In 1978, inspired by this Peanuts cartoon, Nathaniel Hellerstein invented the Linus sequence, a sequence of 1s and 2s in which each new entry is chosen the prevent the longest possible pattern from emerging at the end of the line. Start with 1: 1 Now if the second digit were also a 1 then we’d have a repeating pattern. So … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brain surgery with a tree saw? Must be a new branch of medicine [Interesting]

Monday 10 April 2:31:22 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Interacting with the L.A. County Sheriff's Department is now the easiest, albeit sometimes painful, method to become a millionaire [Fail]

Monday 10 April 0:54:24 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » News of the Weird (April 9, 2017)

Monday 10 April 0:43:55 UTC 2017

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M522, April 9, 2017
Copyright 2017 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

World's Coolest City: Recently, in Dubai (the largest city in the United Arab Emirates), Dubai Civil Defense started using water jetpacks that lift firefighters off the ground to hover in advantageous positions as they work the hoses. Also, using jet skis, rescuers … [Link]

Mental Floss » In 1959, Soviets Littered the Moon With Tiny Metal Pennants

Monday 10 April 0:30:00 UTC 2017

Luna 2 was the first human-made object to reach the moon. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this popular European sport that has never quite caught on in the US [Photoshop]

Monday 10 April 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

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