John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Bad: Burglary. Worse: Getting your pants stuck on a fence while escaping. Fark: You're upside down, hanging on the fence, pants around your ankles. Yes, there's a picture [Giggity]

Tuesday 28 March 23:34:04 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Live Out Your Dreams and Cuddle With a Giant, Plush Bag of Cheese Puffs

Tuesday 28 March 23:30:00 UTC 2017

You can now hug a bag of junk food without getting crumbs in your bed. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Beauty and the Beast' comes from a long line of stories about women hooking up with animals [Creepy]

Tuesday 28 March 23:07:24 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is that a gun in your rectum, or are you just happy to see me? [Dumbass]

Tuesday 28 March 22:40:44 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » IKEA Launches Smart Light Bulbs

Tuesday 28 March 22:30:00 UTC 2017

Time to embrace the smart home. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russian soldiers advance within hand grenade range of US troops in Syria. Thanks, Obama [Scary]

Tuesday 28 March 22:16:44 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A New Facebook Feature Can Connect You With Your Representatives

Tuesday 28 March 22:00:00 UTC 2017

Piggybacking on its popular "I Voted" stickers, the social media giant wants to boost civic engagement. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yeah, they're annoying little hyperactive fur balls and I hate them too, but this may be a slight overreaction [Sick]

Tuesday 28 March 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Porn filter for smart phones will have them all using flip phones again in Alabama [Stupid]

Tuesday 28 March 21:32:33 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [133 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Boston Doctor Makes House Calls to the Homeless

Tuesday 28 March 21:30:00 UTC 2017

Dr. Jim O'Connell doesn't need an exam room or an insurance card to treat Boston's homeless population. [Link]

Mental Floss » Cyclone Debbie Made Landfall in Australia

Tuesday 28 March 21:17:52 UTC 2017

It's the most intense storm to strike the country in several years. [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Behind-the-Scenes Secrets of Makeup Artists

Tuesday 28 March 21:17:51 UTC 2017

It's not as glamorous as you might think. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Happy Oberon Day, Michigan. Wait, that was yesterday? Farking hell, how much did I have? [Cool]

Tuesday 28 March 21:08:33 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A 'Game of Thrones' Fan Built a Revolving LEGO Replica of the Red Keep

Tuesday 28 March 21:00:00 UTC 2017

The small-scale castle is made from 125,000 LEGO pieces, and weighs just over 143 pounds. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual headline: Thieves steal thousands from man after telling him he has bug on his leg [Strange]

Tuesday 28 March 20:46:44 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Multivitamins are multi-useless [Obvious]

Tuesday 28 March 20:20:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this falling hockey player [Photoshop]

Tuesday 28 March 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mexico governor says Chihuahua too weak to fight cartels. No kidding, I mean look how tiny and frail those things are. Maybe try a pit bull instead? [Obvious]

Tuesday 28 March 19:50:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Anime Lovers Can Now Sip on Studio Ghibli-Themed Tea

Tuesday 28 March 19:37:13 UTC 2017

Planning a Hayao Miyazaki movie night? Skip the soda, and pair your popcorn with one of these brews. [Link]

Mental Floss » 24 New Entries to Dictionary of Canadianisms

Tuesday 28 March 19:37:12 UTC 2017

Canadian English enthusiasts rejoice! For the first time since 1967, A Dictionary of Canadianisms on Historical Principles has gotten a major update. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you misplaced your Ferrari two years ago, the London police would like to talk to you [Fail]

Tuesday 28 March 19:20:05 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ancient tissue found in 195 million-year-old dinosaur rib; promptly slathered in Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ Sauce [Cool]

Tuesday 28 March 18:50:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember that landlord who wouldn't let out his houses to battered women? Turns out he won't let "coloureds" live in his houses either, because he doesn't like them making the house smell of curry. Apparently this is a repeat of 1

Tuesday 28 March 18:40:44 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [170 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chicken lays egg bigger than an apple and heavier than a major league baseball. "When I was in there it seemed like one chicken was all light and happy" and possibly smoking a cigarette [Cool]

Tuesday 28 March 18:14:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » You Have to See the Best Tuesday Amazon Deals

Tuesday 28 March 18:02:21 UTC 2017

From the Smart Shopping Team… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Smurfette removed from movie posters in Israeli town over fears of inciting blue balls [Strange]

Tuesday 28 March 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [150 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "This is the pilot. If you look out of the window to the right you'll see us shutting down the engine and dumping fuel" [Scary]

Tuesday 28 March 17:40:13 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Levi Strauss – History's Greatest Monster [Scary]

Tuesday 28 March 17:18:24 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jack Russell with an addiction to COCA-COLA has to have twelve teeth removed [Weird]

Tuesday 28 March 17:14:24 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Someone used a cement pig to try to break into UPS store [Strange]

Tuesday 28 March 16:50:03 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Ride the Rails

Tuesday 28 March 16:21:18 UTC 2017

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police searching for woman who jumps into cars and demands rides on the north side. So that's what kids are calling it nowadays [Weird]

Tuesday 28 March 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Create Miniature 'Menstrual Cycle in a Dish'

Tuesday 28 March 16:01:00 UTC 2017

Researchers envision a future in which each patient can have a customized model of her reproductive system for testing responses to medications. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Daily Mail decides Britain isn't sufficiently embarrassed and allocates their front page to a sexiest legs contest between Theresa May and Nicola Sturgeon. Who wins? No one wins [Asinine]

Tuesday 28 March 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman puts butt on cop's leg, threatens to poop [Amusing]

Tuesday 28 March 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Actors Who Almost Turned Down Very Famous Roles

Tuesday 28 March 15:00:00 UTC 2017

Can you imagine 'The Terminator' without Arnold Schwarzenegger? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another sign the end of times is upon us, they're hearing sinister 'apocalyptical trumpet' noises from the sky in Nottingham, England again [Weird]

Tuesday 28 March 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One-legged woman allowed to sue Kentucky cops for framing her. Cop neglected to mention her one-legged status when testifying that she dragged a dead person to a bridge and tossed the body off the bridge [Dumbass]

Tuesday 28 March 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [210 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » If This Makes Sense to You, You've Officially Become Part Of the Machine

Tuesday 28 March 14:05:03 UTC 2017

Boss in meeting: Let's send out an e-mail to all employees announcing our new employee newsletter before we e-mail it to everyone, because otherwise people won't read it if it just shows up in their in-box. Minneapolis, Minnesota Overheard by: overcommunication hurts [Link]

Mental Floss » Hotel Workers in Jamaica Mistakenly Paint Over a $5 Million Banksy Mural

Tuesday 28 March 14:00:00 UTC 2017

“They thought a rogue visitor had debased the walls," according to a hotel source. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It is your fault the Arctic ice is melting. It is your fault the world is descending into chaos. It is your fault Take That are reuniting [PSA]

Tuesday 28 March 13:50:04 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Enjoy tacos on this Tuesday, but just don't enjoy 'Taco Tuesday' unless you're treating your legal team and gearing up for a fight [Interesting]

Tuesday 28 March 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [161 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this campus QR capture [Photoshop]

Tuesday 28 March 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » As Seen on TV: 9 Cookbooks Based on Cartoons

Tuesday 28 March 13:00:00 UTC 2017

Making pancakes, making bacon pancakes. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you had sixteen tons of cocaine shipped to Port Everglades, police want you to know the shipment has arrived and you can pick it up whenever you like [Florida]

Tuesday 28 March 12:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brace yourself for this: Crayola is retiring a color from its 24-count box for the first time ever [PSA]

Tuesday 28 March 12:20:05 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [151 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 'Legend of Zelda'-Themed Chess Is the Classiest Game in Hyrule

Tuesday 28 March 12:11:55 UTC 2017

Hey! Listen! Checkmate! [Link]

Weird Universe » Le Canned Dress

Tuesday 28 March 12:03:54 UTC 2017

Irwin Silver put a dress in a can, gave it a frenchified name, and then sold these for $25 a pop. This was back in 1966, and it was a marketing gimmick about as cynical as you might guess. Silver was cashing in on the mid-1960s fad for anything canned, and he figured that if people were stupid enough to … [Link]

Weird Universe » Pack It Right

Tuesday 28 March 12:03:53 UTC 2017

This Department of the Army video continually uses a woman in a well-stuffed bikini to illustrate how to "pack it right."

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman who tried to impregnate her captive with syringe charged with forced labor [Florida]

Tuesday 28 March 11:21:38 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Ride the Rails

Tuesday 28 March 11:15:00 UTC 2017

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » A horse is a horse, of course, of course. And no one should mess with a horse, of course. That is, of course, unless the horse has a boner… in which case the correct move is to rub baby oil on it in front of a group of teens. Oh, and you're dru

Tuesday 28 March 10:55:38 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Everyone else, just throw a bible through a mosque's glass door [Asinine]

Tuesday 28 March 10:18:38 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I love you Mr. Robot [Video]

Tuesday 28 March 9:45:38 UTC 2017

Video [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: An Oral History of 'Steel Magnolias'

Tuesday 28 March 9:30:00 UTC 2017

We have links for everyone! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thanks to a driver with lightning-fast reflexes, bus narrowly avoids getting thrown under the Earth by sinkhole in Nanning, China [Scary]

Tuesday 28 March 8:52:38 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Truth About Winnie the Pooh's Honey Cravings

Tuesday 28 March 8:30:00 UTC 2017

Bears do go after beehives—but not for the reason you think! [Link]

Mental Floss » Behind The Foil Wrapper: A Brief History of Chocolate

Tuesday 28 March 7:30:00 UTC 2017

The cacao bean was prized by the Aztecs and savored by the Spanish, but it also has an unsavory side. [Link]

Futility Closet » A Hat Puzzle

Tuesday 28 March 6:42:32 UTC 2017

A puzzle by MIT mathematician Tanya Khovanova: Three logicians walk into a bar. Each is wearing a hat that’s either red or blue. Each logician knows that the hats were drawn from a set of three red and two blue hats; she doesn’t know the color of her own hat but can see those of her companions. The waiter asks, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A supersonic jet that could turn London to New York into a day trip has received £26million funding [Cool]

Tuesday 28 March 6:05:00 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Art Machine Holds Your Arm Hostage Until Someone Else Puts Theirs In

Tuesday 28 March 5:30:00 UTC 2017

Art is terrifying. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » But he's white, how can he be a terrorist? [Followup]

Tuesday 28 March 5:20:00 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [189 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jumping out of a pickup truck at 65 MPH is one thing if you want to get away from the driver. But… what if you ARE the driver? [Weird]

Tuesday 28 March 4:29:00 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fire at former biker clubhouse breaks out. Man in skull faced t-shirt seen on roof of neighboring property [Scary]

Tuesday 28 March 3:44:08 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Many people have been hurt by Italy's banking crisis, including this girl run over by the Italian Banking Crisis Parade Float [Scary]

Tuesday 28 March 2:50:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I can't stress this enough: if you're going to be a drug dealer, have security cameras at home [Scary]

Tuesday 28 March 2:45:06 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yeah, these busted spring breakers are smiling right now. But when they get home and find out Mom and Dad know how to use the internet… [Amusing]

Tuesday 28 March 2:23:25 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Forget the stock market, gold, or bonds … The best investment since 1971 is a Plymouth Barracuda, which has increased 58,000% in value over time [Spiffy]

Tuesday 28 March 2:03:38 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Researchers conclude cats prefer spending time with humans over eating food [Interesting]

Tuesday 28 March 1:58:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Library reconsidering "hands-off" policy on Internet porn [Awkward]

Tuesday 28 March 1:56:45 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sanitation workers help a woman find her wedding and engagement rings that she threw away by accident. The workers admitted that finding the rings was much easier than figuring out where the dump ended and New Jersey began [Interesting]

Tuesday 28 March 1:52:41 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [5 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Worst days in a woman's life, which ended in a lengthy hospital stay, leads to worst day in a paramedic's life [Sappy]

Tuesday 28 March 1:30:05 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The captain and crew of the New York City-bound ferryboat known simply as Hull 200 spotted their first big alligator just before noon on Friday. And, eagerly anticipated as it was, it turned out to be a bad omen [Florida]

Tuesday 28 March 1:03:25 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Common Steroid May Have the Potential to Treat PTSD

Tuesday 28 March 1:00:00 UTC 2017

The drug manipulates the expression of a specific gene associated with the disease. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The latest sign that society is collapsing and the end is near: AP stylebook updated to allow the singular they [Misc]

Tuesday 28 March 0:36:45 UTC 2017

Misc [link] [140 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After the "girls in leggings" fiasco this week, here are some thoughts about what IS acceptable to wear on an airplane [Followup]

Tuesday 28 March 0:36:27 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tonight at 8PM EDT, Paul's Memory Bank continues its imaginative choice of show themes by bringing you 2 hours of songs beginning with the letter "G", spanning from 1946 through 1978 [Live]

Tuesday 28 March 0:14:43 UTC 2017

Live [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Like a broke college student, Illinois turns to selling pot to make ends meet [Spiffy]

Tuesday 28 March 0:10:05 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these students on the move [Photoshop]

Tuesday 28 March 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » You Can Travel Across Japan for Just $21 a Day

Tuesday 28 March 0:00:00 UTC 2017

It might take you a while, though. [Link]

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