John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Embarrassing: Being caught stealing a bag full of panties from a department store. Really embarrassing: You're a guy. Fark: Caught by your own daughter [Awkward]

Saturday 25 March 23:28:05 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tennessee DOT bills 17-year-old $3,000 to repair guardrail that killed her. BRILLIANT [Facepalm]

Saturday 25 March 22:32:23 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [153 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Within 15 years, robots will steal 38% of U.S. jobs and your spouse because their entire bodies vibrate [Awkward]

Saturday 25 March 20:45:23 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [135 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » On her upbringing, Rachel Dolezal says "I was born a poor black child with no concept of light, so blacker than space and everyone else incidentally" [Facepalm]

Saturday 25 March 20:41:23 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [247 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What do you say to the guy who stole a handgun out of your unlocked car? The same thing you said after each of the first three times he stole a handgun out of your unlocked car [Dumbass]

Saturday 25 March 20:19:46 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this guy who is a little tied up at the moment [Photoshop]

Saturday 25 March 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's no reason to become alarmed and we hope you enjoy the rest of your ride. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to drive a boat? [Scary]

Saturday 25 March 19:48:45 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you ever wanted to live in a $7.8 million recreation of Camelot in suburban Kansas City, well… now's your chance [Strange]

Saturday 25 March 19:14:33 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 11-year-old served with three no trespass orders for cutting through neighbors' yards to get to her bus stop [Asinine]

Saturday 25 March 19:08:19 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [229 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Arlington Ladies

Saturday 25 March 18:21:55 UTC 2017

In 1948, Air Force general Hoyt Vandenberg and his wife Gladys were walking through Arlington National Cemetery when they saw a young airman being buried without any family members present — only the chaplain and military honor guard who attend every burial. Moved by the lonely ceremony, Gladys organized the Officers’ Wives Club so one of its members would attend … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "A man the city of Deerfield Beach hired for plumbing services in 2012 has been fined $12,000 for not being a real plumber" [Florida]

Saturday 25 March 18:16:20 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Bad Day on the Links

Saturday 25 March 18:00:00 UTC 2017

When Rob Lowe played in a charity golf tournament in Des Moines, Iowa, in 2007, he got a birdie. No, not that kind of birdie. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Armed robbery of Rolex store inside the Bellagio Casino leads to brothers-in-law suddenly nervous about their tractor dealerships [Scary]

Saturday 25 March 17:53:19 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When stealing guns, a PlayStation, cash and other items from a home you might want to take a second to make sure you are taking everything that you came in with. Unless, of course you want to play Cinderella with the police [Florida]

Saturday 25 March 17:46:39 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man hides in Sears store after closing and tries to steal $830,000 in jewels. In even more surprising news, there was a Sears store with $830,000 in jewels [Weird]

Saturday 25 March 17:28:43 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fun fact: The 'baby teeth' you see in your barbacoa taco are actually beef lips. Bon appétit [Followup]

Saturday 25 March 17:12:43 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Giving your child a day-old, cold McDonald's Happy Meal to take to school for lunch? Expect a letter from the principal [Stupid]

Saturday 25 March 16:17:59 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Get This Weekend's Best Amazon Deals Now

Saturday 25 March 16:00:00 UTC 2017

From the Smart Shopping team… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A quick update on farker soosh, host of the Livingston Stapler Company Presents radio show (LGT previous thread) [Followup]

Saturday 25 March 15:48:02 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Behold this fully armed and operational Detroit [Spiffy]

Saturday 25 March 15:40:45 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wisconsin teen saves friend from dying in the most Wisconsin way possible [Hero]

Saturday 25 March 14:55:47 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 120-foot-long escape tunnel found under Mexican prison. Which was, amazingly enough, surrounded by very tall walls. Well built walls, even. It's almost like this could be a metaphor for something [Facepalm]

Saturday 25 March 14:51:44 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Jennifer Bornstein, collector

Saturday 25 March 14:20:25 UTC 2017

In 1994, Jennifer Bornstein appeared on a local LA cable access program that featured ordinary people and their collections. Bornstein showed off her collection of zip-lock bags, coffee bar merchandise, fast-food containers, potato chips, and breath mints. She had carefully framed and archived all of it.

It would have been funnier if it was a genuine collection, but I think … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman blames Bigfoot for car crash, with helpful pic of what Bigfoot might look like [Strange]

Saturday 25 March 14:05:43 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Will Philip Marlowe reign supreme over Prince Hamlet? Will Holden Caulfield make the cut or will he be done in by Elric of Melniboné? This week, the Saturday Morning Book Club is looking for the most intriguing literary antiheroes [Interesting]

Saturday 25 March 14:00:00 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » At the End of a Stalk

Saturday 25 March 13:45:55 UTC 2017

Girl #1, after male coworker receives huge bouquet of flowers: You know, I wonder if he’s doing something to egg her on.
Girl #2: Nah, some girls are like that, you know? It’s called stalking.
Girl #1: You know, I knew a girl like that once. She had a glass eye. 5718 Westheimer Road
Houston, Texas Overheard by: the things i hear around here … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "If you want to see how humans behave naturally, you don't go to a Manhattan high-rise or a vegan co-op or even a small farming village. You go to a hunter-gatherer community in the wilderness" [Strange]

Saturday 25 March 13:43:16 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this big mouth [Photoshop]

Saturday 25 March 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Everything That’s Leaving Netflix in April

Saturday 25 March 12:59:36 UTC 2017

Say goodbye to ‘The X-Files.’ And 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer,' too. [Link]

Mental Floss » Every New Movie and TV Series Coming to Netflix in April

Saturday 25 March 12:59:34 UTC 2017

In the not too distant future, ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’ will return. [Link]

Mental Floss » On This Day in 1995, the First Wiki Went Public

Saturday 25 March 12:30:00 UTC 2017

"Wiki" is a Hawaiian word for "quick." [Link]

Weird Universe » The Glidden Tours

Saturday 25 March 12:23:48 UTC 2017

At the start of the Automotive Age, merely driving from, say, Detroit to Kansas City was a challenge and endurance test. Thus the AAA-sponsored Glidden Tours.

Here is a good write-up of the 1909 one.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why so serious [Scary]

Saturday 25 March 12:22:23 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Can you 'ear me now? The cute, it burns on Caturday [Caturday]

Saturday 25 March 12:00:00 UTC 2017

Caturday [link] [649 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Store Your Secrets in a Grave as Part of This 25-Year-Long Art Project

Saturday 25 March 10:30:00 UTC 2017

The famous conceptual artist Sophie Calle is collecting and burning secrets stored in a grave at Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Portland's police chief and Lieutenant Leasure are on leave for unspecific reasons. No, really, Lieutenant Leasure is a person's title and name [Strange]

Saturday 25 March 9:01:02 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In today's Fark Madlibs headline: Naked demonstrators kill sheep in Auschwitz and play with fireworks [Weird]

Saturday 25 March 8:01:03 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » If You Find Yourself Stranded on a New Zealand Island, Look for One of These

Saturday 25 March 6:51:37 UTC 2017

The tiny sheds are just big enough to hold supplies, from food and water to wool "survivor suits." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turns out, the London terrorist was an English teacher. House bill to outlaw NEA and purge academics expected next week [Followup]

Saturday 25 March 4:02:40 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lost tourist is saved after nine days in the Amazon rainforest after monkeys dropped food to him from the trees and led him to water. It's a good thing he avoided the Whangdoodles, Hornswogglers, Snozzwangers and Vermicious Knids [Scary]

Saturday 25 March 3:27:02 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When Mexico sends its runoff, they're not sending their best [Followup]

Saturday 25 March 3:10:10 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hungary threatens to ban Heineken's red star as 'communist,' Comrade Drew unavailable for comment [Silly]

Saturday 25 March 2:54:04 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Attempting to give Florida Man a run for his money, naked Washington Man gets tasered after setting house and car on fire. Amateur [Dumbass]

Saturday 25 March 2:50:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » UK court refuses to let wife divorce husband because "unhappiness is to be expected in marriage" [Sad]

Saturday 25 March 2:10:15 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Jump

Saturday 25 March 1:50:09 UTC 2017

On Aug. 15, 1961, during the third day of construction of the Berlin Wall, 19-year-old Communist German border guard Hans Conrad Schumann was standing on the corner of Ruppiner Straße and Bernauer Straße. A roll of concertina wire 3 feet high was strung before him; behind him cement slabs were being positioned to replace it. Opposite, in West Berlin, a … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The dreaded Baby Boomers have teamed up with the Silent Generation and are laying a vicious beatdown on GenX, but wait… Bah Gawd King, that's The Millennials' music, what are THEY doing here? [Murica]

Saturday 25 March 1:50:04 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ¿Dónde está Kermit? [Florida]

Saturday 25 March 0:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy hasn't cut his nails in 35 years. Has his wife bathe him and feed him. The fact he has a wife is the real shocker [Weird]

Saturday 25 March 0:09:08 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this lonely guy, sitting on a tree stump, alone in the woods, reflecting on his thoughts, dreaming of what the world could become… or maybe he is just a douche [Photoshop]

Saturday 25 March 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [54 comments] [Link]

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