John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Taking a bath and charging your iPhone are both normal every day activities. Just don't do them at the same time [Plug]

Friday 17 March 23:46:32 UTC 2017

Plug [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Where does one of the newest top-rated vodkas come from? Poland? No. Russia? Nope. Costco? Bingo [Unlikely]

Friday 17 March 23:32:15 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protip: If the police want to talk to you about a robbery then maybe it's not the best idea to appear in a mannequin challenge video [Obvious]

Friday 17 March 23:31:32 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [4 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your guide to St. Patrick's Day deals and freebies, including $3 green beer at TGI Friday's [Cool]

Friday 17 March 23:16:32 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Belgian church turns into a beer bar after every Sunday mass. Praise the Lord [Spiffy]

Friday 17 March 23:01:32 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Hair-Raising Facts About 'Eraserhead'

Friday 17 March 22:56:42 UTC 2017

10. David Lynch will never tell how the "baby" was made. [Link]

Mental Floss » A Brief History of the Irish Snug

Friday 17 March 22:56:41 UTC 2017

Not so long ago, women couldn't be seen drinking in an Irish pub. Instead, they drank privately in snugs. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Heart-in-a-Box' keeping donated organs alive longer. Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg nod approvingly [Cool]

Friday 17 March 22:46:32 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 45 celebrities reimagined as redheads in honor of St. Patrick's Day. If you call these photos "ginger snaps," is that racist? [Giggity]

Friday 17 March 22:32:25 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are still a lot of perfect brackets after day one, but there is only one where somebody got all the games wrong [Amusing]

Friday 17 March 22:18:18 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » War in space is becoming a real threat. Holy shiat… THAT. WOULD. BE. AWESOME [Cool]

Friday 17 March 22:04:11 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark-ready headline: "American Legion's Testicle Festival urges you to 'come have a ball'" [Weird]

Friday 17 March 21:48:19 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "A man who strapped more than 100 helium balloons to a lawn chair and soared above the Calgary Stampede grounds apologized Friday for the danger he caused, but said he doesn't regret his actions" [Dumbass]

Friday 17 March 21:34:12 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What the hell is going on with North Korea and Japan? The short answer: Everybody is preparing for war [Scary]

Friday 17 March 21:14:59 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [174 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Penguin, Rubber Duck and T Rex are new Monopoly game pieces. Drew's version of trench coat wearing man with beer, busty hooker and squirrel with descended testicles were not approved [Interesting]

Friday 17 March 21:00:52 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Iceland Considers Taxes to Deter Floods of Tourists

Friday 17 March 20:48:44 UTC 2017

The destination has become too popular for its own good. [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Prototype Movie Tie-in Toys That Were Never Released

Friday 17 March 20:48:43 UTC 2017

To help you imagine what your toybox could have looked like, we've picked out some of the most interesting action figures that, for one reason or another, never got made. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Town of Tiller, Oregon Is on the Market for $3.5 Million

Friday 17 March 20:48:42 UTC 2017

The deal includes six houses, a now-defunct gas station/general store, and industrial and commercial lots. [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Are There No Snakes in Ireland?

Friday 17 March 20:48:41 UTC 2017

Sorry, St. Patrick, but you really can’t take credit for this one. [Link]

Mental Floss » You Can Visit the Two French Villages That Inspired Belle's Hometown in 'Beauty and the Beast'

Friday 17 March 20:48:40 UTC 2017

A movie lover's guide to how to walk the streets of Riquewihr and Ribeauvillé, the towns that Disney's animators used as inspiration for Belle's "quiet village." [Link]

Mental Floss » Low-Income New Yorkers Can Now Get Low-Cost Internet

Friday 17 March 20:48:39 UTC 2017

Charter is offering eligible households internet access for $15 a month. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Paramedic dives into frigid water of Illinois lake where SUV was submerged, finds infant floating inside. Administers CPR on SUV's hood and swims the child to shore before toweling off his massive balls of iron [Hero]

Friday 17 March 20:46:45 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pittsburgh man indicted for hate crimes committed at Red Robin. Crimes against humanty charges notably still absent for bottomless stale fries and dried out beef [Murica]

Friday 17 March 20:33:25 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Facts About Being a Climate Scientist—From Climate Scientists

Friday 17 March 20:30:00 UTC 2017

What exactly is a climate scientist, and how do they make sense of the complicated systems that rule our lives on the planet? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Whole Foods in DC abruptly closed for remodeling. Where 'remodeling' = dealing with chronic rat infestation [Sick]

Friday 17 March 20:14:04 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trips to the Titanic to begin in 2018. Feeling like you are aboard the Titanic, currently underway [Interesting]

Friday 17 March 20:02:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this odd object [Photoshop]

Friday 17 March 20:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » 7 Clicks (March 17, 2017)

Friday 17 March 19:46:51 UTC 2017

7 Clicks
A Weird Universe News Service
March 17, 2017

To ridicule the uterus regulators (motivated by "procreation"), a proposed $100 fine for men chicken-choking (cf. the great Bill Hicks's line: "Entire civilizations have been wiped out on my stomach") [Texas Tribune]

Christopher Diiorio tried using faked Secret Service IDs because, well, you're not gonna get laid based on owning … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New drug will help rich people avoid and/or survive heart attacks [Cool]

Friday 17 March 19:44:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're in the Library and you find an empty A-1 sauce bottle. You just lost the game [Weird]

Friday 17 March 19:32:05 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just when you thought your favorite gentleman's club was clean as a whistle – bodily fluids found in 11 of 17 Minneapolis adult entertainment venues. No word if the buffets tested ok [Obvious]

Friday 17 March 19:12:55 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Semi carrying fruit crashes on freeway, creates jam [Amusing]

Friday 17 March 19:01:29 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Pentalpha

Friday 17 March 18:44:50 UTC 2017

During a visit to Crete in 1938, Miss L.S. Sutherland described a game she saw played on a pentagram: You have nine pebbles, and the aim is to get each on one of the ten spots. You put your pebble on any unoccupied spot, saying ‘one’, and then move it through another, ‘two’, whether this spot is occupied or not, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The latest threat to your children? The Babocush. No, that's not the Swedish cousin of the Babodook, it's a giant pillow [PSA]

Friday 17 March 18:41:54 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Search warrant demands Google turn over the accounts, IP address, social security numbers, and credit card numbers of everyone who Googled a certain name [Scary]

Friday 17 March 18:30:59 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fourth grade students win a robotics competition. Their prize? Being told to go back to Mexico [Asinine]

Friday 17 March 18:11:53 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [114 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Federal Appeals court rules that the AR-15 is legally an assault rifle. Thus ending that argument for all time [Obvious]

Friday 17 March 18:00:58 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [500 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Netflix Is Getting Rid of Its Five-Star Ranking System

Friday 17 March 17:58:55 UTC 2017

They're replacing it with a simplified thumbs up-thumbs down rating. [Link]

Mental Floss » 'Americanah' Named First Pick for New York City’s Book Club

Friday 17 March 17:58:54 UTC 2017

The goal is to get everyone in New York to read the same book at the same time. [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Old Words for Ignorance

Friday 17 March 17:58:53 UTC 2017

Next time you feel the urge to make your sparring partner aware of his lack of knowledge, soften the blow with one of these old-timey terms for ignorance. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for masturbating in his car across the street from a playground. You're gonna want to see his mugshot, trust me [Florida]

Friday 17 March 17:34:19 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Something is heating up inside Egypt's ancient pyramids. Might be all that stored grain about to spontaneously combust [Interesting]

Friday 17 March 17:17:11 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In case you were afraid CNN was going to start turning to gritty, hard hitting news and abandon sensationalist garbage, this article will put your fears to rest [Sad]

Friday 17 March 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman and her young boys come home to find naked woman on their couch. "I had to ask her to let me in the house and she put her clothes on backwards, then she realized her clothes were on backwards, so she proceeded to take them back off" [Cr

Friday 17 March 16:43:25 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » World's most expensive burger sells for $10,000, better have diamonds instead of sesame seeds in the bun [Stupid]

Friday 17 March 16:13:25 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual headline: Oklahoma law allows Sen. Ralph Shortey to keep his state retirement even if convicted of prostitution with a minor [Facepalm]

Friday 17 March 15:46:45 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [123 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Humane Way to Keep Skunks out of Your Yard

Friday 17 March 15:44:48 UTC 2017

How to prevent Pepe Le Pew from becoming a squatter. [Link]

Mental Floss » So Long, Thimble: Monopoly Unveils Its New Lineup of Quirky Tokens

Friday 17 March 15:44:47 UTC 2017

Welcome to the board, T. rex, penguin, and rubber ducky. [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Times Kids Stole the Spotlight on Live Television

Friday 17 March 15:44:46 UTC 2017

The biggest danger to any live broadcast is that anything can happen. [Link]

Weird Universe » Brake Reaction Time

Friday 17 March 15:16:08 UTC 2017

In the mid 1930s, Dr. Harry DeSilva of the Massachusetts State College at Amherst created a brake reaction test to measure how quickly drivers can step on the brake in response to a red light. He took it around the country and tested thousands of people.

People in their mid 20s generally had the quickest reaction times, and then times … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Happy Paint Satricks Day from new poll indicating that 9 percent of the nation will be drunk today [Survey]

Friday 17 March 15:14:04 UTC 2017

Survey [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Saint Patrick

Friday 17 March 14:15:00 UTC 2017

[Link]

Overheard In The Office » I Tried Putting a Floppy in Her Once…Nothing

Friday 17 March 13:54:21 UTC 2017

Computer guy #1: I can’t see the hard drive on this network.
Computer guy #2: Well, the problem is that the disk isn’t mounted. First you have to mount Claire*.
Claire: Hey!
Computer guy #2: Claire is the name of the office hard drive. 701 South Mount Vernon Avenue
San Bernardino, California Overheard by: Amused [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I didn't mean that Obama wiretapped Trump Towers what I meant to say was Obama had the British spy agency wiretap Trump Towers [Asinine]

Friday 17 March 13:47:54 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [303 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Saint Gertrude of Nivelles: The Patron Saint of Cats (More or Less)

Friday 17 March 13:45:37 UTC 2017

Patrick isn't the only saint celebrated on March 17. [Link]

Mental Floss » Dallas Bookstore Gets People to Read Literature by Turning It Into Clickbait

Friday 17 March 13:45:36 UTC 2017

Their one weird trick for getting people interested in books may surprise you. [Link]

Mental Floss » Can You Figure Out This Math Problem Intended for 7-Year-Olds?

Friday 17 March 13:45:34 UTC 2017

Are you smarter than a second-grader? [Link]

Mental Floss » Saint Patrick

Friday 17 March 13:45:33 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » Unicorn Candle Holder Cries Waxy, Rainbow Tears

Friday 17 March 13:45:32 UTC 2017

Watch your captured unicorn cry over and over. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this squirrel and his nuts [Photoshop]

Friday 17 March 13:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Now watch and learn. I'm only going to do this…" *ka-BLAMMO* [Fail]

Friday 17 March 12:46:26 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Whole-body vibrators may be the key to reducing obesity [Giggity]

Friday 17 March 11:36:31 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pro tip: if you're at the airport and attack an employee, shouting "[expletive] Islam, [expletive] ISIS, Trump is here now. He will get rid of all of you. You can ask Germany, Belgium and France about these kind of people. You will see what h

Friday 17 March 11:19:17 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [161 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Democrats and Republicans Are Equally Willing to Admit When They’re Wrong, Study Says

Friday 17 March 10:44:36 UTC 2017

“A whole lot of people … are very intellectually arrogant about the positions they have, on both sides of the aisle.” [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Friday 17 March 10:44:35 UTC 2017

How St. Patrick's Day Works. All Irish symbols eventually found their way into the holiday.
*
10 creative St. Patrick's Day recipes. The fun way to eat your greens!
*
Who Was Saint Patrick? Ireland's patron saint had nothing to do with green beer or leprechauns.
*
A Grown-Up’s Guide to St. Patrick’s Day Whiskey. Super-premium Irish whiskies are now more … [Link]

Mental Floss » When Key West Tried to Secede from the United States… (in the 1980s!)

Friday 17 March 10:44:34 UTC 2017

When the U.S. border patrol caused a 19-mile traffic jam and cost Key West tourist dollars in the 1980s, the tiny island retaliated. [Link]

Weird Universe » Ann Hamilton

Friday 17 March 10:37:00 UTC 2017

Her home page.

Her Wikipedia page.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » So what's with all the hoopla with this couple the FBI is seeking? [Dumbass]

Friday 17 March 9:45:31 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Convicted murder in New Zealand wins the right to wear his toupee in prison because it was an "artwork" essential to his self-esteem [Stupid]

Friday 17 March 9:06:35 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As many as 20 veterans a day commit suicide using guns, so of course the GOP is making it easier for them to buy a pistol. Compassionate conservatism in action, folks [Facepalm]

Friday 17 March 8:47:24 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [204 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Smart Jacket Gives You a Back Rub When Someone Touches You

Friday 17 March 8:05:29 UTC 2017

Designer Pauline van Dongen unveiled the smart garment at the 2017 SXSW conference. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Even NPR agrees: Duke sucks [Amusing]

Friday 17 March 6:49:21 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Much like your high IQ, your perfect 850 credit score doesn't really mean anything [Obvious]

Friday 17 March 3:13:44 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [206 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you are going to the county courthouse, please leave your heroin at home [PSA]

Friday 17 March 3:13:14 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hey man, if you wanna buy some drugs, meet us in the Sheriff's Dept parking lot. We'll be between the Warden's truck and the cop fueling up his patrol car [Dumbass]

Friday 17 March 2:49:53 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you rush out of a tattoo shop without paying, try not to post photos of the new tat on Instagram for the owner to find [Florida]

Friday 17 March 2:34:27 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are few things as vicious as a pack of hungry tortoises, thankfully they don't move very fast [Amusing]

Friday 17 March 2:31:25 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy robs AT&T store by smashing through wall of adjacent store. OHHHHHH YEEAAAAHHHH [Obvious]

Friday 17 March 2:12:57 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kenai Assembly: Invocations before meetings are open to all wishing to lead them. Satanic Temple: Cool, HAIL SATAN [Amusing]

Friday 17 March 1:54:29 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Elderly woman describes bread aisle beatdown at Walmart. In related news bread aisle beatdown is subby's new heavy metal bread cover band name [Followup]

Friday 17 March 1:36:02 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Colicky baby, get off the plane. Drunk and disorderly, get off the plane. Too fat and being disruptive to other customers, get off the plane. Questionable religion or national origin, get off the plane. Too tall, get off the plane. Wait wut? [Awkward

Friday 17 March 1:26:34 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In other news, there's a basketball court above the courtroom in the Supreme Court building [Interesting]

Friday 17 March 0:59:06 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Son of Far-right French politician is your newest model school shooter. Social media has Steam Hatred Badge, quotes from The Joker, Vines wearing a clown mask & a gun…how'd it take him this long to go on a rampage? [Obvious]

Friday 17 March 0:40:39 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Zoo owner arrested on 28 counts of animal cruelty. Which is going to suck on his resume [Sick]

Friday 17 March 0:22:11 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Julia Child's Lifehack for Dealing With Cilantro

Friday 17 March 0:14:59 UTC 2017

5308110480001 Cilantro is a polarizing herb: You either love it or hate it. Chef Julia Child was decidedly not a fan. If you side with her, consider her cooking advice here. [Link]

Mental Floss » Among H.S. Athletes, Girls Have Higher Concussion Rates Than Boys

Friday 17 March 0:14:58 UTC 2017

From 2010 to 2015, the concussion rate in girls’ soccer was higher than that for boys’ football. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sending shock waves through college campuses nationwide, police arrest man for plowing while drunk [Dumbass]

Friday 17 March 0:03:43 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this naval invasion [Photoshop]

Friday 17 March 0:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

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