Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Bad: You're pulled over by police. Worse: you have drug paraphernalia in your car. Solution: toss the hypodermic needles to your toddler in the back seat [Florida]

Thursday 16 March 23:45:16 UTC 2017

[link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Coors Chili Cook-Off Winner reveals 29 ingredients in his recipe-including peanut butter & jelly. In other news, your 4-year old has a pretty good shot at the ICS Bowl Championship [Spiffy]

Thursday 16 March 23:26:48 UTC 2017

[link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You ordered a pizza, but when you get it you find it has the wrong toppings. The prudent thing to do would be to A) return it and ask for a refund, B) just forget about it and eat it the way it is, or C) pump bullets into the building from your car [

Thursday 16 March 23:08:20 UTC 2017

[link] [65 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 Wildly Inaccurate Myths About Spiders (Plus the Truth)

Thursday 16 March 22:53:33 UTC 2017

They're just not that into you. [Link]

Mental Floss » How Your Used Mascara Brushes Can Help Wild Animals in Need

Thursday 16 March 22:53:32 UTC 2017

The tiny bristles are perfect for cleaning fly eggs and larva from fur. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In hindsight, perhaps naming a school Innovation Park Middle School wasn't the best idea. "They don't want to go to a school and wear a red shirt with the letters IPMS across the shirt for athletics, for academic competitions (or women in

Thursday 16 March 22:49:53 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Oh, nothing. Just a horse with a rubber chicken [Amusing]

Thursday 16 March 22:29:53 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Another day, another dumbass fake cop trying to pull over a real cop [Dumbass]

Thursday 16 March 22:09:53 UTC 2017

[link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Sometimes you get the bear. Sometimes the guy whose supposed to get the bear with a tranquilizer dart gun gets you instead" [Scary]

Thursday 16 March 21:52:44 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » April the giraffe almost ready to give birth. This is not a repeat from any time over the past few weeks [Followup]

Thursday 16 March 21:35:36 UTC 2017

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Mental Floss » 9 Ways to Celebrate the Spring Equinox

Thursday 16 March 21:26:10 UTC 2017

Twice a year the Sun sits vertically above the equator, giving us nearly equal day and night everywhere on the planet. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NY court to decide if a chimp is a person, which bathroom they have to use [Interesting]

Thursday 16 March 21:20:36 UTC 2017

[link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Our Heavenly Father is delinquent on his council rates, the deadbeat [Asinine]

Thursday 16 March 21:05:36 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: Are you ready? St. Patrick's Day is almost here and we all need something to eat to go with our green beer. Show us your favorites [Interesting]

Thursday 16 March 21:00:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Everyone in Ohio can relax now, a 70-pound, $700 popcorn ball that was stolen has been returned [Sappy]

Thursday 16 March 20:49:36 UTC 2017

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Mental Floss » 11 Fuzzy Facts About Pandas

Thursday 16 March 20:48:31 UTC 2017

Happy National Panda Day! [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Lucky Facts About St. Patrick’s Day

Thursday 16 March 20:48:23 UTC 2017

It used to be a dry holiday in Ireland. [Link]

Mental Floss » How Good Are You at Planning Road Trips?

Thursday 16 March 20:48:12 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » Two Delicious Ways to Tackle Debt

Thursday 16 March 20:45:00 UTC 2017

Presented by Prudential. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Court defines sexual intercourse. Non-spoiler alert: it's exactly what you think it is [Florida]

Thursday 16 March 20:32:27 UTC 2017

[link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » McDonald's claims their Twitter account was hacked after tweet makes Trump grimace [Followup]

Thursday 16 March 20:15:19 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Fishing is a great pastime unless you don't realize you're putting yourself out there as bait [Scary]

Thursday 16 March 20:04:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this sportsmanship [Photoshop]

Thursday 16 March 20:00:01 UTC 2017

[link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The CIA Uses Board Games as Training Tools

Thursday 16 March 20:00:00 UTC 2017

The games were revealed at this year's SXSW. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida Wildlife Commission shares information about escaped monocled cobra, say it will be seeking warmth, shelter, possibly a top hat and fancy walking stick [Followup]

Thursday 16 March 19:44:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » It's perfectly safe at the moment. Unless that molten lava runs into the snow. Then we're….EVERYBODY RUN [Scary]

Thursday 16 March 19:20:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man charged with providing illegal butt injections [Florida]

Thursday 16 March 19:08:12 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Moscow zoo suing video studio that hired raccoon and made what the zoo calls an "erotic" video. "The raccoon returned from the studio traumatized. We noticed he was attracted to women's breasts" [Weird]

Thursday 16 March 18:46:23 UTC 2017

[link] [45 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 Ways to Clean Your Ears Without Cotton Swabs

Thursday 16 March 18:25:50 UTC 2017

Early this year, the American Academy of Otolaryngology officially advised against using cotton swabs to clean one's ears. Here are six doctor-approved methods to try instead. [Link]

Mental Floss » Candy Crush: The Bizarre History of Those '90s Mentos Commercials

Thursday 16 March 18:25:49 UTC 2017

The series of slightly disturbing ads annoyed some, but paid off for the "Freshmaker" candy company. [Link]

Mental Floss » You Have to See the Best Thursday Amazon Deals

Thursday 16 March 18:25:31 UTC 2017

From the Smart Shopping Team… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yoga pants may be a key source of sea pollution, awkward boners [Repeat]

Thursday 16 March 18:19:43 UTC 2017

[link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When doing a photo shoot on train tracks, do remember that trains can run on those tracks in both directions [Sad]

Thursday 16 March 18:13:24 UTC 2017

[link] [119 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Take a Virtual Walk Through Japan's Otherworldly Wisteria Tunnels

Thursday 16 March 18:00:00 UTC 2017

The Kawachi Fuji Gardens in Kitakyushu, Japan, is home to 150 plants and 20 different species of the flowering vine. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Stand your ground" extension passes in Florida, raising the bag limit to five [Repeat]

Thursday 16 March 17:46:44 UTC 2017

[link] [138 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Guests at This Japanese Resort Can Soak in Pancake-Scented Hot Tubs

Thursday 16 March 17:30:00 UTC 2017

The water is refreshed with maple syrup three times a day. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Guinness Castle is up for sale. Property includes main house with seven bedrooms, a four bedroom guest house, seven lodges and cottages and exactly zero bar towels anywhere to be found [Interesting]

Thursday 16 March 17:16:44 UTC 2017

[link] [43 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Pandigital Pi

Thursday 16 March 17:05:45 UTC 2017

In the July/August 2006 issue of MIT Technology Review, Richard Hess noted that this expression: $3 + \frac{16 - 8^{-5}}{97 + 2^{4}} \approx \pi - 3.3 \times 10^{-9}$ provides a good approximation to π using each of the digits 1-9 once. He challenged readers to do better, limiting themselves to the operators +, -, ×, ÷, exponents, decimal points, and parentheses. The best solution received was from Joel Karnofsky: $3.14 + \left ( 7^{-.9^{-6}} + 2/8 \right )^{5} \approx \pi - 9.3 \times 10^{-11}$ But Karnofsky noted that … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oklahoma politician may face charges after being found with underage male prostitute, as his ethics and Midwest family values come up a little behind [Followup]

Thursday 16 March 16:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Star Wars fanatic uses the dark side after his wife smashes his prized collection of action figures [Dumbass]

Thursday 16 March 16:44:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Let's take a look at the Jeddah Tower in Saudi Arabia, the soon-to-be world's tallest building [Interesting]

Thursday 16 March 16:20:04 UTC 2017

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Mental Floss » 5 Questions: True Confessions

Thursday 16 March 16:13:31 UTC 2017

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Step 1: Crash your car into a gas station. Step 2: See two dudes taking video with their phones. Step 3: Attack the two dudes while yelling, "It was an accident you dumb-asses" [Scary]

Thursday 16 March 16:10:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » The former UFO expert for the Ministry of Defense says there is "No plan in place if aliens visit earth" [Fake]

Thursday 16 March 15:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Not news – HOA is monitoring residents and their properties. Fark – By flying drones around the neighborhood looking for violations [Asinine]

Thursday 16 March 15:41:53 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » McDonald's Corporate Twitter account calls Trump "a disgusting excuse of a President." Wow, guess they are still really bitter about that whole "bucket of KFC chicken" photo op during the campaign [Amusing]

Thursday 16 March 15:30:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Judge rules that reporters hurt a beef company's feewings by calling their product "pink slime" [Stupid]

Thursday 16 March 15:20:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Queen Elizabeth will officially OK Britain's withdrawal from the EU today. Aides haven't told her that that is what she'll be signing. She thinks it is a birthday card for Harry [Interesting]

Thursday 16 March 15:10:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » For no pressing reason in today's news, TV station checks out local fallout shelter to see how it's holding up [Cool]

Thursday 16 March 14:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "Hey dude, have you seen my cooler?" "oh that old thing? I gave it to Goodwill" "DUDE WTFuuuuuuu" "Why? What was in it?" [Amusing]

Thursday 16 March 14:34:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Florida State Legislature wants to make it easier for individuals to shoot others and not face prosecution [Scary]

Thursday 16 March 14:33:24 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Potential parents of the year arrested for using eight-year-old daughter to run in front of oncoming traffic in crash for cash scam [Sick]

Thursday 16 March 14:14:04 UTC 2017

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Mental Floss » New Chrome Update Will Improve Your Laptop’s Battery Life

Thursday 16 March 14:00:00 UTC 2017

The update makes it easier to run a million tabs at a time without crashing your computer. [Link]

Overheard In The Office » What Happened to Bacon?

Thursday 16 March 13:51:03 UTC 2017

Intern girl #1: What’s that smell?
Intern girl #2: What smell?
Intern girl #1: It’s like… Grape Popsicles.
Intern girl #2: Ah, yes. That’s the smell of the law. City Hall
Los Angeles, California Overheard by: Rachel [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 5-year-old at grandma's draws a picture of his mom. Is that a spider below her bellybutton? "No that's her big nunny." Mom explains, "my friends and family have now told me I need to get a wax" [Amusing]

Thursday 16 March 13:50:04 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Shooting at high school in south-east France. Suspect surrenders [NewsFlash]

Thursday 16 March 13:44:43 UTC 2017

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Mental Floss » This Smart Wall Calendar Looks Like Paper and Acts Like an App

Thursday 16 March 13:30:00 UTC 2017

Owners can update their calendar at home no matter where they are. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Researchers create a 5 minute test to determine if someone is addicted to online porn. You can save 4 minutes and 58 seconds by just looking at them to see if they have bloodshot eyes and one arm freakishly more muscular than the other [Obvious]

Thursday 16 March 13:20:05 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » EARrings

Thursday 16 March 13:05:22 UTC 2017

Created by artist Nadja Buttendorf. She says "price on request," so I guess they are for sale.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this supersized cheeseburger [Photoshop]

Thursday 16 March 13:00:01 UTC 2017

[link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » More proof of aliens: Huge metallic sphere seven times the size of Jupiter found by astronomers in deep space [Interesting]

Thursday 16 March 12:50:04 UTC 2017

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Mental Floss » The 12 Most Interesting Comics Released in March

Thursday 16 March 12:30:00 UTC 2017

Each month, we round up the most interesting comics, graphic novels, webcomics, digital comics and comic-related Kickstarters that we recommend you check out. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Colombia's newly approved Labor Code allows people to show up for work drunk or under the influence of narcotics as long as their productivity is not affected [Hero]

Thursday 16 March 12:17:28 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Mother of son who has been missing 6 months claims he was depressed due to heavy metal poisoning. m/ [Weird]

Thursday 16 March 11:55:40 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Wife gets pregnant 8 months after husband has a vasectomy and the mailman couldn't be more proud [Facepalm]

Thursday 16 March 11:37:43 UTC 2017

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Weird Universe » The Wookie Boogie

Thursday 16 March 11:18:00 UTC 2017

Neon Werewolf Presents – The Wookie Boogie from neon werewolf on Vimeo.

Thanks to Frank Phillips for the tip! [Link]

Mental Floss » True Confessions

Thursday 16 March 11:15:00 UTC 2017

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » The cheapest wines at most restaurants are often the best bargain on the menu. At least that's what you can keep telling yourself [Unlikely]

Thursday 16 March 11:05:40 UTC 2017

[link] [37 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 'Pie-Modding' Teaches Readers How to Create Edible Art

Thursday 16 March 11:00:00 UTC 2017

Using pie crust as a sculpting material, you can make elaborate shapes and designs. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is that a can of spray paint in your pants or are you happy to see the police? (With mugshot goodness) [Dumbass]

Thursday 16 March 10:58:58 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Let's see if I've got this straight: One cheeseburger. No onion. No ketchup. No mustard. No pickles. No bun. No meat patty. Is that right? [Stupid]

Thursday 16 March 7:08:48 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » New Zealand authorities are looking for suspects in over 400 thefts of beehives and honey. Suspects are described as "covered in bees" [Scary]

Thursday 16 March 6:36:56 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » NPR hits all-time ratings high despite the fact that you're a freeloader who never gives during the pledge drive [Cool]

Thursday 16 March 6:35:49 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 619: "Black 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 16 March 4:27:31 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Actual line in story: "The gator might have walked into the garage when he took his son to a Boy Scouts meeting" [Florida]

Thursday 16 March 3:20:39 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Banned motorist with 50 previous road offences tilts his battered old Ford Mondeo onto TWO WHEELS to squeeze between vehicles during a 12-mile police chase. Ta-da [Dumbass]

Thursday 16 March 2:53:26 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Cleveland police follow up Tamir Rice fiasco by shooting the messenger [Followup]

Thursday 16 March 2:18:20 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Four Russians charged with hacking Yahoo, which sounds like a disease, as in I've got a bad case of the hacking Yahoo [Repeat]

Thursday 16 March 1:40:52 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » First they came for the yoga pants [Giggity]

Thursday 16 March 0:50:39 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Don't throw away those old mascara wands. They can now be used to treat injured wildlife in shelters. Excluding bears [Cool]

Thursday 16 March 0:41:08 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Immigrants have 60% lower mortality rate than non-immigrants, study finds. So not only are they takin yer jerbs, they're living longer too. And probably marrying your daughter [Obvious]

John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons