John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » One Fish, Two Fish, Gold Fish, Carrots [Awkward]

Thursday 9 March 23:53:13 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When Winston Churchill quotes are translated to the modern age: "If I were your girlfriend, I'd make you drink bleach." "Honey, if I were your boyfriend, I'd drink it" [Sick]

Thursday 9 March 23:36:05 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Visual Guide to the Women Venus's Geography Is Named For

Thursday 9 March 23:30:00 UTC 2017

Almost every topographical feature on the second planet is named for a famous woman from mythology or history. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Berlin's Schönefeld airport chosen as the worst airport in the world, stunning LaGuardia who vows to step up their luggage shredding efforts [Interesting]

Thursday 9 March 23:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Robber trapped in bank for the gifted [Dumbass]

Thursday 9 March 23:06:04 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An Alabama theater that banned the showing of Beauty And The Beast because of a gay character accidentally schedules a film about drag queens, thinking that the movie 'Fierce' was about dragons [Followup]

Thursday 9 March 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Help, my husband is going to kill me." Actual police response: "If you get killed, we will definitely come to examine the body" [Sick]

Thursday 9 March 22:40:37 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The "You can't fire me, because I quit" of relationships [Awkward]

Thursday 9 March 22:27:17 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Men pretending to be women online watch porn on phones more often than men who are just logged in as themselves [Giggity]

Thursday 9 March 22:13:57 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Megatron busted in under age sex sting. Optimus Prime doing damage control [Sick]

Thursday 9 March 22:01:19 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: It has been a while since we've talked about cookbooks. Recently get your hands on some new sources for recipes that keep you excited to cook? Share to the right [Interesting]

Thursday 9 March 22:00:00 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida to debate expanding controversial 'stand your ground' law, possibly extending the bag limit to five [Florida]

Thursday 9 March 21:48:42 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump sends B52s to South Korea. Controversial because Kim Jong-un wanted Devo [Scary]

Thursday 9 March 21:40:44 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Starbucks Experiments With Whiskey Barrel-Aged Coffee

Thursday 9 March 21:29:23 UTC 2017

The new menu items will be available at their Seattle Roastery. [Link]

Mental Floss » Match the Actresses With Their Movies

Thursday 9 March 21:29:03 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » How Good A Road Trip Planner Are You?

Thursday 9 March 21:29:02 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » Can You Answer All These Entertainment Facts?

Thursday 9 March 21:29:01 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » Pick the 3-Letter Word

Thursday 9 March 21:29:00 UTC 2017

Take the quiz! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Freak windstorm knocks out power to 250,000 across western New York with outages expected to last days. Temperatures will also drop into the teens starting tomorrow [Scary]

Thursday 9 March 21:28:06 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CNN reporter Reza Aslan decided to find out what being a zombie was all about, especially those dietary requirements [Creepy]

Thursday 9 March 21:15:29 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lawyer's pants catch on fire during closing arguments while defending his client in an arson case [Florida]

Thursday 9 March 21:03:29 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this soccer incident [Photoshop]

Thursday 9 March 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Experts Predict Widespread Ocean Warming by 2050

Thursday 9 March 21:00:00 UTC 2017

Up to 86 percent of the ocean surface will be warming and acidifying within the next few decades—unless we take steps to prevent it. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » $25,000 taco? Is it made with unicorn meat or just a victim of the US-Mexico trade war? [Silly]

Thursday 9 March 20:51:29 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you woke up in Michigan this morning, turned your lights on and got some coffee from your coffee maker, you must feel like you won the "woohoo, I've got power" lottery [Interesting]

Thursday 9 March 20:39:29 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man puts shih-tzu in trash compactor. This headline has so much potential but the story isn't funny in any way [Sick]

Thursday 9 March 20:26:51 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A gay veterans group says it's not allowed to march in the Boston St. Patrick's parade because they are gay, but it seems it's really because of a rainbow flag on their banner which promotes sexual orientation. Oh well that's differen

Thursday 9 March 20:14:14 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Breaking Not News: dog masters loud farting [Silly]

Thursday 9 March 20:02:14 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kid interrupts weatherman's forecast to fart on him (w/video) [Amusing]

Thursday 9 March 19:50:14 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » We're Not Alone: Itching is Contagious for Mice Too

Thursday 9 March 19:44:50 UTC 2017

How do sensations like feeling itchy spread among social animals? Researchers at the Center for the Study of the Itch are looking into it. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Facts About Civil War Spy Mary Bowser

Thursday 9 March 19:44:49 UTC 2017

Mary Bowser took a job as a servant for Jefferson Davis to serve as a spy in the Confederate White House, working with the famous spymaster Elizabeth van Lew. [Link]

Mental Floss » Hurry Up and Get Thursday's Best Amazon Deals

Thursday 9 March 19:44:41 UTC 2017

From the Smart Shopping Team… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 360-pound former cop and weightlifter saves the FBI a lot of paperwork by killing himself as they approach him in his vehicle [Strange]

Thursday 9 March 19:37:12 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 2017 Might be a Bad Year for Lyme Disease

Thursday 9 March 19:30:00 UTC 2017

Warmer temperatures have led to an increase in the tick population. Here's how to avoid them. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who would steal a car with nine parrots in the back seat? Florida Man, that's who [Weird]

Thursday 9 March 19:20:04 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Malta's Famous Rock Formation Has Collapsed Into the Ocean

Thursday 9 March 19:00:00 UTC 2017

You may remember the rock arch, called the Azure Window, from HBO's "Game of Thrones." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Next on the SyFy Channel: Invasion of the Wild Radioactive Japanese Boars [Scary]

Thursday 9 March 18:54:30 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police baffled as to why someone would leave a five-foot dead shark in a shopping cart at a Walmart [Florida]

Thursday 9 March 18:35:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Danish Teen Uncovers Remains of WWII Plane and Its Pilot in His Backyard

Thursday 9 March 18:30:00 UTC 2017

The discovery started out as a school assignment. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nothing like a criminal holding up a sign that says "I am not a criminal" [Ironic]

Thursday 9 March 18:20:04 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rep. Maxine Waters: "We know" Trump sex blackmail is "absolutely true." Which is such a coincidence because Max Waters was the name of one of his Russian prostitutes [Obvious]

Thursday 9 March 18:17:29 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [314 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Troubled Littoral Combat Ship fires vertically-launched hellfire missile, surprising many with the hellfire's adaptability and the fact that the LCS didn't crack in half, run aground or catch fire during the exercise [Interesting]

Thursday 9 March 18:05:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today is "National Fark Redesign Day" [Amusing]

Thursday 9 March 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Best Korea tried to sell material for nuclear weapons, according to UN, raising the terrifying specter of Al-Qaeda developing some kind of Toyota Hilux based thermonuclear weapon [Scary]

Thursday 9 March 17:36:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The 7 Best New Sports Bras for Every Type of Workout

Thursday 9 March 17:20:48 UTC 2017

Need a new sports bra? The right type for you is based on your preferred form of exercise. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: I Am Woman

Thursday 9 March 17:20:44 UTC 2017

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Huh, college students might use their student loans irresponsibly? Like for Spring Break? Stop the presses. How long has this been going on? [Obvious]

Thursday 9 March 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is it okay to spy on your teen? In case you don't want to click, the answer is always 'no' [Obvious]

Thursday 9 March 17:03:42 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Buzzed cruise ship captain mistakes Speed 2 for a training video [Florida]

Thursday 9 March 16:41:53 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Place you don't want to pass out #4823 – the cab of a crane 360 feet above ground [Scary]

Thursday 9 March 16:20:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Utah to become first state to lower DUI level to .05 [PSA]

Thursday 9 March 16:11:53 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [172 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » New Theory: Eyes, Not Legs, First Brought Ancient Fish Out of Water

Thursday 9 March 16:00:00 UTC 2017

Scientists argue that the sight of all the juicy food available on land propelled early marine vertebrates to grow legs and get out there. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Retailer: Okay so offering discounts on frying pans to celebrate International Women's Day was a bad idea. Who knew? [Facepalm]

Thursday 9 March 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently Chelsea Clinton's spinach pancake recipe for National Pancake Day really grossed people out [Sick]

Thursday 9 March 15:44:04 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 20 Fastidious Facts About BBC’s ‘Pride and Prejudice’

Thursday 9 March 15:30:00 UTC 2017

1. The BBC wasn’t buying Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former legislative candidate: "Obamacare is bad, repeal it." Doctor: "Your cancer is possibly in remission, good thing you have Obamacare to help pay your million dollar bill." Former legislative candidate:"Maybe Obamacare isn&#39

Thursday 9 March 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [269 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Evolution of Tourist Destinations Around the World

Thursday 9 March 14:30:00 UTC 2017

This infographic shows which countries most benefit from tourism growth. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's National Proofreading Day – so here's a story about it that contains an error [Awkward]

Thursday 9 March 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » How I Stole Elections

Thursday 9 March 14:10:10 UTC 2017

Marlin Hawkins served as an elected official in Conway County, Arkansas for 38 years — for most of that time as sheriff. He built up a legendary political machine, being able not only to win reelection for himself (19 times) but also to deliver votes for other candidates. He often boasted that he could accurately predict the outcome of every … [Link]

Weird Universe » Timothy Leary: While Birds Sing

Thursday 9 March 14:10:09 UTC 2017

Album info and track listing.

Let me know when you bail! [Link]

Overheard In The Office » “Hi, I'm Gonorrhea, and I'll Be Your Server Tonight”

Thursday 9 March 14:03:02 UTC 2017

Tech support: How does one associate a VD with a thin client? Ontario
Canadia [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this symmetrical street scene [Photoshop]

Thursday 9 March 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canada named 2nd best country in the world yet again. Lost 0.3 points on the dismount for inventing Hawaiian pizza [Amusing]

Thursday 9 March 13:47:41 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [215 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nothing to see here — just Trump associates directly communicating with Russian hackers mere weeks before the DNC was hacked [Followup]

Thursday 9 March 13:31:41 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [232 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man admits renting house to 3 different people at same time. If this were a sitcom, Don Knotts would star as the landlord [Interesting]

Thursday 9 March 13:13:24 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman demanded to be injected with heroin or meth during labor, police say. Every woman who's ever given birth says 'That was an option?' [Facepalm]

Thursday 9 March 12:50:03 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual headline: Two brothers take shrooms, get naked and cause mayhem at Indy apartment complex [Giggity]

Thursday 9 March 12:20:04 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » I Am Woman

Thursday 9 March 12:15:00 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » Cook on the Dark Side With Lightsaber Grill Tongs

Thursday 9 March 12:00:00 UTC 2017

Be the Jedi of grill masters. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Americans are more likely to have a handgun in their kitchen than a kettle [Fake]

Thursday 9 March 11:30:15 UTC 2017

Fake [link] [177 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't you hate it when you take a .44 magnum and shoot your husband and the couple he's having a threesome with, and while dragging one of the bodies outside to burn it, realize that you have to pick your 8-year-old daughter up from school? [

Thursday 9 March 11:03:14 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption our President talking bigly to some kids [Caption]

Thursday 9 March 11:00:00 UTC 2017

Caption [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Legacy of King Kong

Thursday 9 March 10:30:00 UTC 2017

Here, have some great links! [Link]

Mental Floss » Tips from a Pun Champion

Thursday 9 March 9:30:00 UTC 2017

Up your wordplay game with pun expert Sam Corbin. [Link]

Mental Floss » This 300-Year-Old 'Detector Lock' Reveals an Intruder's Presence

Thursday 9 March 8:30:00 UTC 2017

English craftsman John Wilkes created the clever gadget, currently displayed in Amsterdam's Rijksmuseum. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police tell Uber driver it's illegal to film them while he is pulled over. Man happens to be attorney making a few extra bucks. Then things get all ACLU-y (with video of entire traffic stop) [Video]

Thursday 9 March 7:07:55 UTC 2017

Video [link] [229 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An error at the DMV is making Coloradans a lot higher than they already were [Amusing]

Thursday 9 March 7:01:50 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Ships That Pass

Thursday 9 March 6:54:14 UTC 2017

For four months in 1840 Edgar Allan Poe conducted a puzzle column for the Philadelphia newspaper Alexander’s Daily Messenger. In that time he defied his readers to send him a cryptogram that he could not solve, and at the end of his tenure he declared himself undefeated. One of the later challenges came from 17-year-old Schuyler Colfax of New Carlisle, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seven tricks to staying warm at 40 below from seven mushers in this year's Iditarod. One drinks lots of water, another sings Christmas carols, and one uses skunk mittens [Strange]

Thursday 9 March 6:35:02 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Beer Hotel Could be Coming to Ohio

Thursday 9 March 6:30:00 UTC 2017

There will be a hot tub full of beer. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » At least you can eat well while you are secretly experimented on during your delayed flight caused by the alien landings [Cool]

Thursday 9 March 5:07:14 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 618: "The Air Down Here". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 9 March 5:01:00 UTC 2017

Farktography [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man claims he was road rage victim because of Trump/Pence flag on his van, not because he made left turn across multiple traffic lanes [Florida]

Thursday 9 March 3:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The True Story Behind the Lost Scene From 'The Princess Bride'

Thursday 9 March 3:30:00 UTC 2017

The "lost scene" from William Goldman's The Princess Bride is inconceivably hard to come by. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember what you did for your 8th grade fair project? I bet it wasn't finding a WWII German fighter plane and pilot's remains that have been undiscovered for more than 70 years [Cool]

Thursday 9 March 3:27:33 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For once it's acceptable for a priest to sniff butts [Sappy]

Thursday 9 March 3:16:51 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Men Who Volunteered to Be Poisoned by the Government

Thursday 9 March 2:30:00 UTC 2017

In 1902, 12 men agreed to take low doses of poison in order to test their efficacy as food preservatives. No one died. Basically. [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists 3D Printed Cheese

Thursday 9 March 2:00:00 UTC 2017

It got darker and more melty. [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Enamel Pins Dedicated to Awesome Women

Thursday 9 March 1:30:00 UTC 2017

Celebrate strong and dedicated females with a flashy lapel. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russia violates treaty, deploys land-based cruise missile targeting U.S.-staffed bases in Europe. Surely we can expect strong condemnation and decisive action from President Trump [Obvious]

Thursday 9 March 1:04:31 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [240 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these lucky shoppers [Photoshop]

Thursday 9 March 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Snapchat upsets users by adding makeup to users with the "Marie Curie" filter, because MAC and ULTA deserve Nobel prizes too [Fail]

Thursday 9 March 0:53:30 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why a Person's Second Toe Is Sometimes Longer Than Their Big Toe

Thursday 9 March 0:30:00 UTC 2017

If your second toe is longer than your big toe, don't worry about it! You and your toes are completely normal. [Link]

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