John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Scientists say that a permanent human colony on Mars would evolve into a new human species, causing the skin to change color, bone density to increase, eyes enlarge due to lower light and women to have three breasts [Interesting]

Tuesday 28 February 23:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [206 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Imagine Entourage starring Milo Yiannopoulos and some bathing-optional Internet tough guys [Followup]

Tuesday 28 February 23:20:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » New York Warns Drivers to Watch Out for Frogs Crossing the Road

Tuesday 28 February 23:00:00 UTC 2017

Due to warm weather, amphibians may be coming out of hibernation earlier than usual. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Tampa Jewish community has raised nearly $60,000 to help repair a torched Mosque, surpassing their $40,000 goal in under a week [Hero]

Tuesday 28 February 22:50:04 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Irate motorist leaves the most British note ever for a person who parked badly [Amusing]

Tuesday 28 February 22:38:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not to alarm anyone, but the Amazon Server Farm of Northern Virginia seems to be seceding from the Internet [Fail]

Tuesday 28 February 22:14:04 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 4 Spectacular Shipwrecks You Can Dive Near Chicago

Tuesday 28 February 21:51:08 UTC 2017

Rediscover forgotten history—80 feet below the surface. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not listed: Official state mugshot, Official state meth formula [Florida]

Tuesday 28 February 21:50:04 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Worst baby names of 2016. Come for "Elizabreth" and "Meldor," run screaming for brain bleach when you get to "Little Sweetmeat." Seriously, don't go past that one, it gets worse [Fail]

Tuesday 28 February 21:36:20 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [334 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Fast Food Chicken Isn't 100% Chicken (Or Even Close), Investigation Finds

Tuesday 28 February 21:30:00 UTC 2017

A test commissioned by a Canadian news program found that Subway grilled chicken was only half poultry. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 99-year-old Nederlander gets handcuffed to fulfill bucket list item. Kinky [Silly]

Tuesday 28 February 21:20:05 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this abandoned movie set [Photoshop]

Tuesday 28 February 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's gold in them thar hills. And after this year's historic rains, it's pretty easy to find [Cool]

Tuesday 28 February 20:50:04 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What's worse than worms hiding in your shower head? Oh [Scary]

Tuesday 28 February 20:46:44 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Coxcomb

Tuesday 28 February 20:24:39 UTC 2017

Florence Nightingale created this innovative diagram to track the causes of mortality in the Crimean War. Her description: The Areas of the blue, red, & black wedges are each measured from the centre as the common vertex. The blue wedges measured from the centre of the circle represent area for area the deaths from Preventable or Mitigable Zymotic diseases, the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♪ Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, you give random gunfire in murderous love triangles a bad name ♪ [Scary]

Tuesday 28 February 20:16:44 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 99-Year-Old Woman Checks "Spending Time in Jail" Off Her Bucket List

Tuesday 28 February 20:04:52 UTC 2017

"You get many unusual requests with this profession," one police officer said. [Link]

Mental Floss » Get Tuesday's Best Amazon Deals Now

Tuesday 28 February 20:04:43 UTC 2017

From the Smart Shopping Team… [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Rare Flowers That Only Grow in One Place

Tuesday 28 February 20:00:00 UTC 2017

Protected, endangered, or native to only a small area, some of these beautiful flowers might soon be lost forever. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Born in the '90s? Congratulations, you're four times as likely to get a case of the ass [PSA]

Tuesday 28 February 19:46:44 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 81-Year-Old Woman Develops Mobile Game Based on Japanese Holiday

Tuesday 28 February 19:45:00 UTC 2017

It took her six months to learn how to code. [Link]

Mental Floss » Xbox One to Offer 'Netflix for Games'

Tuesday 28 February 19:30:00 UTC 2017

For $10 a month, users will be able to binge-play to their hearts' content. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're a trucker driving to visit President Trump with "bombs," it's easy to catch you if you call 911 to announce your plan [Florida]

Tuesday 28 February 19:16:44 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Margaritaville-Themed Retirement Community is Coming to Florida

Tuesday 28 February 19:00:00 UTC 2017

For seniors who dream of spending retirement like they’re living in a Jimmy Buffett song. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I don't think the real Jesus would shout 'Oh Sh*t' when he got his cross stuck in the ceiling on the underground [Amusing]

Tuesday 28 February 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you thought you were having a bad day at work, spare a thought for the French sniper who just accidentally shot two people during a Presidential speech [Fail]

Tuesday 28 February 18:45:24 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [130 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Introducing a New Phone That's the Size of a Credit Card

Tuesday 28 February 18:36:42 UTC 2017

Digital detoxes can be stylish. [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Lesser-Known Inventions by Famous Inventors

Tuesday 28 February 18:30:00 UTC 2017

Because not every invention can be a home run. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Girl Scouts introduce new Melee Cookies in Fark's favorite state [Florida]

Tuesday 28 February 18:15:24 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "…98, 99, 100…255, 256, 257…10167, 10168, 10169- Fark this, let's grab a beer" [Interesting]

Tuesday 28 February 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Car plows into crowd at Mardi Gras parade. Sadly this is not a repeat from a few days ago [Scary]

Tuesday 28 February 17:37:52 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Autopsy being performed to identify the exact cause of death for man who was run over by bulldozer. I may be going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing 'bulldozer' [Scary]

Tuesday 28 February 17:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Moo. I'm a cow. Seriously, don't look at the antlers, I'm a cow goddammit, just trust me on this [Interesting]

Tuesday 28 February 16:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » VIDEO: Police called to break up brawl started by bagels on late night train from London [Stupid]

Tuesday 28 February 16:20:05 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You people need to move away from your hometowns, you're a threat to the very existence of the American dream [Strange]

Tuesday 28 February 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [184 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Siberia’s ‘Door to the Underworld’ Is Growing

Tuesday 28 February 15:43:46 UTC 2017

A result of climate change, the chasm has revealed long-lost forests and the preserved remains of prehistoric animals. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Can't-Miss Titles to Watch on Netflix This March

Tuesday 28 February 15:43:45 UTC 2017

Martial arts, body shaming, and Nic Cage fighting sharks: You have no reason to be bored. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Famous Faux Pas

Tuesday 28 February 15:43:41 UTC 2017

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Harvard Law Review, for the first time in its 130-year history, has elected a female African American president, just 27 years after it elected the first African American man to lead the publication. But nobody knows what happened to him afterwar

Tuesday 28 February 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Explore the Origins of French Cuisine With This 200-Year-Old Map

Tuesday 28 February 15:00:00 UTC 2017

Take a tour of the country's most delectable landmarks. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man captured at Port Authority after carrying a gun and 106 rounds of hollow-point bullets [Scary]

Tuesday 28 February 14:50:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [282 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who shot up bar thought he was shooting Iranians which would technically still be illegal [Followup]

Tuesday 28 February 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [163 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » My Mullet Is All Business in the Front.

Tuesday 28 February 14:13:41 UTC 2017

Mike: What's Linkedin?
Ryan: It's Facebook for professional people.
Mike: Well, I should get on that, because I'm pretty fucking professional! Wilmington, North Carolina [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: Aw, hell no [Photoshop]

Tuesday 28 February 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Couple couldn't wait for 12" pepperoni, decided to go with the 6" usual instead [Weird]

Tuesday 28 February 13:44:32 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Cockroach Magnetization

Tuesday 28 February 13:40:41 UTC 2017


Researchers at Nanyang Technological University in Singapore recently made an unusual discovery, which is that "the magnetic properties of living cockroaches are strikingly different from those of dead cockroaches."

Place a living cockroach in a magnetic field and it'll become magnetized, and then stay magnetized for about 50 minutes.

Place a dead cockroach in a magnetic field and it'll also … [Link]

Weird Universe » Mystery Illustration 40

Tuesday 28 February 13:40:40 UTC 2017

Who was the celebrity groom who wore this amazing outfit to his wedding?

The answer is here.

And after the jump. [Link]

Mental Floss » How Did "Jones" Come to Mean "Craving"?

Tuesday 28 February 13:30:00 UTC 2017

Have you ever had a "Love Jones," or even a "Basketball Jones"? Do you occasionally jones for a “hot now” Krispy Kreme donut (only to find that store closed)? Did you know that when you use that terminology you are actually indulging in some (gasp) drug slang? In the early 1960s, a “jones” was a craving—but strictly a craving for … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who stabs a Hippo, seriously? [Sad]

Tuesday 28 February 13:20:05 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Dedicated Fan Spent Three Years Beating All 714 NES Games

Tuesday 28 February 13:00:00 UTC 2017

Set aside a spare 3400 hours and maybe you can do it, too. [Link]

Mental Floss » Famous Faux Pas

Tuesday 28 February 12:45:00 UTC 2017

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Class action lawsuit says that Jared jewelers was a "hotbed of sexual harassment for female employees." Sorta gives a creepy new meaning to their slogan, "He got it at Jared's" [Creepy]

Tuesday 28 February 12:44:32 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Clothing Store 'Out of Print' Unveils Literary Enamel Pin Sets

Tuesday 28 February 12:30:00 UTC 2017

Add some flair to your book tote. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wanna be a doc without all the annoying coursework? Fake it 'til you make it, but don't get caught purchasing fake awards (with mugshot) [Florida]

Tuesday 28 February 11:50:31 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bicyclist's lawsuit claims that a mechanized street sweeper chased and struck him. Michael Bay seen reaching for a pen and some paper [Strange]

Tuesday 28 February 11:45:29 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 1. Get thrown in GitMo. 2. Sue. 3. Profit. 4. Join ISIS; get killed in a suicide bombing raid. It's the ciiiiiircle of liiiiiiiiife [Fail]

Tuesday 28 February 11:41:40 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two Georgia residents sentenced to decades in prison for trying to honor their heritage [Sad]

Tuesday 28 February 11:26:33 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [265 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Try not to get any more DUIs on your way out of the parking lot [Dumbass]

Tuesday 28 February 11:10:34 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: California or Bust

Tuesday 28 February 11:00:00 UTC 2017

Enjoy these links for Fat Tuesday! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » North Carolina congregation recalls the magic of their wedding nights, when the veil was lifted, the bride was carried across the threshold, the groom gave her the first peck on the cheek, and waited another year for permission to have intercourse [S

Tuesday 28 February 10:22:32 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Hidden Trick To Help You Navigate Central Park

Tuesday 28 February 9:55:13 UTC 2017

Even tourists unfamiliar with the park's secrets will never be lost as long as they find a lamppost. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Saudi King brings 506 tons of luggage on 9-day trip. Subby's ex-wife unimpressed [Silly]

Tuesday 28 February 9:45:53 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Peek Inside YouTube Star Simone Giertz’s Robotics Lab

Tuesday 28 February 8:55:11 UTC 2017

The "Queen of Sh*tty Robots" has a pretty decent workspace. [Link]

GraphJam » The Infinite Ammo Pistol Does Nothing!

Tuesday 28 February 8:37:03 UTC 2017

ammo guns Line Graph video games - 4592055552 Graph by: fabionunesm Tagged: ammo , guns , Line Graph , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's nothing worse than waking up to what you think is the sound of fireworks only to discover your girlfriend has shot you multiple times in the penis and scrotum [Scary]

Tuesday 28 February 8:03:56 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [139 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Massive Chile rains kill three, cut off water for millions. Man, it's a good thing it just rains water around here [Scary]

Tuesday 28 February 7:04:43 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Interactive Map Lets You See Which Local Bridges Are Safe

Tuesday 28 February 7:00:00 UTC 2017

More than 130,000 bridges in the U.S. are structurally deficient or functionally obsolete. [Link]

Futility Closet » Black and White

Tuesday 28 February 6:48:10 UTC 2017

By J. Berger. White to mate in two moves. SelectClick for Answer 1. Qc8! and the queen will mate. From Benjamin Glover Laws, The Two-Move Chess Problem, 1890. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman transcends death to post selfie after surviving turbulence on flight from Chicago to San Diego [Scary]

Tuesday 28 February 6:27:52 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If anyone has the head of Jesus Christ, the Cottage Avenue Pentecostal Fellowship in Indianapolis would like it back [Sad]

Tuesday 28 February 6:24:52 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russian ballet dancer released from Guantanamo Bay prison after being held 15 years. Apparently authorities heard him mention an "Arabesque" and that was enough to consider him a terrorist [Followup]

Tuesday 28 February 6:03:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Unexpected Ways Fire Changed the Course of History

Tuesday 28 February 6:00:00 UTC 2017

Presented by National Geographic. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If Aliens come to Earth in the future looking for Yaqui Catfish, we're screwed [Sad]

Tuesday 28 February 5:33:52 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "We went to the zoo and unfortunately, STDs came up again, and I knew it was over" [Awkward]

Tuesday 28 February 5:18:52 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Driver of Seattle taco truck stuck in major traffic jam figures "Hmm, why not?" [Cool]

Tuesday 28 February 5:03:53 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 5. Take your truck for a bumpy ride with lots of violent turns and slamming on the brakes. 4. Close and lock the back door. 3. Wait until someone gets in to steal your stuff. 2. Load boxes of manure in a U-Haul. 1. Mount a camera inside the truck [Am

Tuesday 28 February 5:02:51 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rescue dog rescues owner from early-morning house fire. Your dog says "good girl, give her a steak" [Hero]

Tuesday 28 February 4:49:03 UTC 2017

Hero [link] [6 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Meet the Man Who Claimed to Have the World's Longest Last Name

Tuesday 28 February 4:00:00 UTC 2017

He usually went by Mr. Wolfe + 585, Senior. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remembering Buzzwinkle – Alaska's most notorious drunken moose [Amusing]

Tuesday 28 February 3:36:05 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You should never take your work home with you after you retire, especially if you work with grenade launchers [Scary]

Tuesday 28 February 3:18:57 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chicago breaks another 146 year old record (since records began). No snow in the months of January or February [Weird]

Tuesday 28 February 3:07:20 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No eyebrows were raised after meth enthusiast takes police on wild chase through two states [Dumbass]

Tuesday 28 February 3:01:48 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "If anyone here knows a reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace. Not you, Mr. Whale" [Amusing]

Tuesday 28 February 2:44:40 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This bears repeating: Do not drive your car with your window open at wildlife parks [Scary]

Tuesday 28 February 2:27:31 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bedbugs kill 96-year-old Stoner [Weird]

Tuesday 28 February 2:20:14 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's Mad Libs ready headline: 2-year-old found licking bong in running car [Weird]

Tuesday 28 February 2:10:23 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cops: Customer deposited bag of cocaine in bank ATM [Florida]

Tuesday 28 February 2:08:54 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Le Creuset to Release 'Beauty and the Beast'-Themed Cookware

Tuesday 28 February 1:56:41 UTC 2017

In honor of the upcoming live-action version, you can buy a soup pot that honors Belle and friends. [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 Idioms That Came From Film And Theater

Tuesday 28 February 1:56:37 UTC 2017

Chances are, you’ve probably used an idiom from film or theater in an everyday context—maybe without even knowing it. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What the actual hell is going on here in Australia? Is this a pointless sport, or some sort of mosquito fogging system, or both? [Silly]

Tuesday 28 February 1:53:14 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trader Joe's new "chunky shards'o'glass" apple sauce may not cut it in the market [Obvious]

Tuesday 28 February 1:36:05 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In a move that will surely piss off no one, giant cross installed outside Mosul to mark progress against ISIS [Asinine]

Tuesday 28 February 1:25:07 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Paul's Memory Bank is continuing "Swinging Through the Alphabet" with 2 hours of songs beginning with the letter "C". Show starts at 8PM ET [Live]

Tuesday 28 February 1:24:31 UTC 2017

Live [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Professor who has taken a photo of himself every day for the past 30 years now has 11,000 pictures. Or as Kim Kardashian calls that, a pretty good weekend [Strange]

Tuesday 28 February 1:18:57 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » British man selling Swiss mountain air for $167 a bottle. Sure, you can laugh now, but just wait until you have to cancel your ski trip in Switzerland when there's no air left [Strange]

Tuesday 28 February 1:01:48 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this turf top [Photoshop]

Tuesday 28 February 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Retrobituaries: Giuseppe Dosi, Italy's Famed Detective and Master of Disguise

Tuesday 28 February 1:00:00 UTC 2017

He had at least 17 confirmed disguises, and five fully fleshed-out identities complete with fake identity documents, background stories, and even their own penmanship. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Re-trial of former L.A. County Sheriff on corruption charges begins even though he's in the early stages of Alzheimer's. Lawyer advises him to answer every question with "I can't recall" [Followup]

Tuesday 28 February 0:44:40 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What's the Deal With Sensory Deprivation Tanks?

Tuesday 28 February 0:30:00 UTC 2017

In recent years, Flotation Sensory Deprivation has become popular. Proponents of the practice claim that it is therapeutic and relaxing. Some people claim that the practice even causes them to hallucinate. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » PSA: Make sure your burglary victim isn't a Brazilian jiujitsu master (with ouch-y mugshot) [Florida]

Tuesday 28 February 0:27:31 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Neo Nazi arrested for making his roommate great again [Florida]

Tuesday 28 February 0:10:23 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [41 comments] [Link]

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