John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Irate airline passenger goes full Samuel L. Jackson when passengers fail to exit craft on her schedule. Bonus points for dude in foreground doing everything short of eating his own hand to stifle laughter (Not safe for work language) [Video]

Monday 27 February 23:53:14 UTC 2017

Video [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » SpaceX Is Sending Two Private Citizens Around the Moon

Monday 27 February 23:45:00 UTC 2017

The flight is scheduled for late 2018. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 52 seconds is what it took two 'bashful' pandas at the Tokyo zoo to mate after a four year hiatus. Which is probably 30 seconds longer than most human males can take after four years of no nookie [Spiffy]

Monday 27 February 23:36:06 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today, when you're feeling down, just remind yourself that at least you're not the person who has to hose out the rubber sex dolls at this brothel [Sick]

Monday 27 February 23:20:06 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former Marine fires 6 shots in a shopping mall parking lot in an attempt to stop: (A) a kidnapping (B) a murder (C) shoplifters [Scary]

Monday 27 February 23:06:06 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [142 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » WHO names 12 bacteria that pose the greatest threat to human health; is on first, playing "Boris the Spider" [Creepy]

Monday 27 February 22:50:06 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Lookups of 'Exhume' and 'Confluence' Spiked During the Oscars Ceremony

Monday 27 February 22:45:00 UTC 2017

When Hollywood talks, people listen. Then they Google. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's nothing weird about getting some exercise by running with the high school track team, right? [Weird]

Monday 27 February 22:36:07 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Millennials aren't job hopping, mostly because they can't find jobs [Interesting]

Monday 27 February 22:20:07 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » SpaceX to recreate Apollo 8 [PSA]

Monday 27 February 22:05:07 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Making Decisions Stresses Some People Out

Monday 27 February 21:54:52 UTC 2017

Plus, what you can do about it. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "And just what would my duties entail as sex tsar?" [Giggity]

Monday 27 February 21:50:07 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why do people swear? What a stupid farking question [Interesting]

Monday 27 February 21:35:09 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Take a Literary Vacation With Rail Europe

Monday 27 February 21:30:00 UTC 2017

The railway has prepared a few itineraries for book-loving travelers. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teacher who was asked to mentor students is now in trouble for mentoring student [Florida]

Monday 27 February 21:20:09 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Iceland's capital's 2 foot snowfall breaks 80 year old record. Cleveland, Buffalo, and Syracuse chuckle, point out that 2 feet of snow there is called "Any Tuesday in April" [Obvious]

Monday 27 February 21:14:00 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » White woman who self-identified as black, Rachel Dolezal, near homelessness after rejecting porn offers [Awkward]

Monday 27 February 21:02:06 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [183 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: Why we link to "those sites," plus new tag announcement [FarkBlog]

Monday 27 February 21:02:05 UTC 2017

FarkBlog [link] [178 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this sacred selfie [Photoshop]

Monday 27 February 21:02:04 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » From the Institute of Researchers Who Forgot They Were Supposed to Publish Something Today: "Women with children more sleep deprived than those without" [Facepalm]

Monday 27 February 21:02:03 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In Florida, responsible gun ownership means keeping a spare piece on the side [Florida]

Monday 27 February 21:02:02 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What Causes Friction?

Monday 27 February 21:00:00 UTC 2017

The answer is surprisingly simple. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "'The GPS showed him in the lake,' said [the teen's mom], who figured the GPS was malfunctioning." It wasn't. With scrapbook-worthy pictures [Scary]

Monday 27 February 20:50:06 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dffsfd [Fake]

Monday 27 February 20:49:50 UTC 2017

Fake [link] [154 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Private women's prison deprived inmates of heat and hot water for months, according to lawmaker. I'm fairly certain I've seen a video of this [Florida]

Monday 27 February 20:36:05 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You may think you're tough, but are you tough enough to survive the Notorious RBG's workout? [Interesting]

Monday 27 February 20:20:05 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Interactive Map Plots Where Every Known Fossil Was Discovered

Monday 27 February 20:14:53 UTC 2017

See who your neighbors would have been 100 million years ago. [Link]

Mental Floss » Here's Your First Look at the Revamped Nokia 3310

Monday 27 February 20:14:52 UTC 2017

The classic phone is back, with a modern twist. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You can have a 'brain orgasm,' but you've got to watch a creepy video first [Spiffy]

Monday 27 February 20:07:13 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » “A Very Descript Man”

Monday 27 February 19:54:43 UTC 2017

I am such a dolent man,
I eptly work each day;
My acts are all becilic,
I’ve just ane things to say. My nerves are strung, my hair is kempt,
I’m gusting and I’m span:
I look with dain on everyone
And am a pudent man. I travel cognito and make
A delible impression:
I overcome a slight chalance,
With … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drone strike that killed Al-Qaeda #2 appears to have used a new and revolutionary weapon designed to limit collateral damage, either by striking the target with micro munitions or by dropping an anvil on his head [Followup]

Monday 27 February 19:36:06 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Five more Best Korean officials executed by anti-aircraft gun after 'enraging' Kim Jong Un. To be fair, if you're going to work in his government, you've got to be ready to catch a lot of flak [Scary]

Monday 27 February 19:21:06 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Male flight attendant charged with calling in two bomb threats faces decades in prison. With a name like Cox-Sever, he was probably destined to end up there [Interesting]

Monday 27 February 19:06:06 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Alright Mr…'Smith,' you're going to have to show us more than your driver's license if you want to get through this TSA checkpoint." "But, I was born in PA and have lived in Maine and SC all my life." "Nice try,

Monday 27 February 18:50:06 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are search and rescue dogs, why not search and rescue cats? [Interesting]

Monday 27 February 18:14:56 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Attention Farkers, please retire your existing, and now outdated, "insane girlfriend face" meme pictures and upgrade them with nearly any picture from this article. That is all [Amusing]

Monday 27 February 18:14:55 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dan Sevy, a Followers of Christ church member, said pharmaceuticals and medicine are a product from Satan. He went on to explain that pharmaceuticals are derived from the Greek word "pharmakeia," a word they say translates to witchcraft and s

Monday 27 February 18:09:34 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Did they take his mugshot before or after the pills were removed from his butt? [Florida]

Monday 27 February 17:51:06 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Sony's New Projector Turns Any Surface Into a Touch Screen

Monday 27 February 17:42:30 UTC 2017

Your kids can now draw on the walls and not leave a mark. [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 Strange Guided Tours From Around the World

Monday 27 February 17:42:29 UTC 2017

Sometimes you want to see something really off the beaten path. [Link]

Mental Floss » Storm Chasers Put 'Twister' Star Bill Paxton On the Map with GPS Tribute

Monday 27 February 17:42:28 UTC 2017

Nearly 200 weather enthusiasts collaborated on the project. [Link]

Mental Floss » You Can't Miss Monday's Best Amazon Deals

Monday 27 February 17:42:26 UTC 2017

From the Smart Shopping Team… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Last weekend's February tornado in snow-covered western Massachusetts was about as common as the Cubs winning the World Series [Strange]

Monday 27 February 17:32:39 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ark Encounter not living up to economic promise. Maybe they should pray harder [Obvious]

Monday 27 February 17:08:39 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [197 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Oscar

Monday 27 February 16:42:14 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » Who’s Really to Blame for Last Night’s Oscar Debacle?

Monday 27 February 16:15:00 UTC 2017

It wasn't Warren Beatty's fault. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dehydrated hippo, sexy giraffes, and digital soup. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-02-19 to Sat 2017-02-25 [FarkBlog]

Monday 27 February 15:56:39 UTC 2017

FarkBlog [link] [2 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Waking nightmares The Teletubbies turn twenty [Creepy]

Monday 27 February 15:50:04 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 Times the Wrong Winner Was Announced

Monday 27 February 15:30:00 UTC 2017

Mistakes happen. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tourists please don't ply the Bahamas beach pigs with junk food and alcohol, it kind of kills them [Strange]

Monday 27 February 15:20:05 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do you know a slacker that's living the low-stakes life? It's probably because of adolescent resentments [Interesting]

Monday 27 February 14:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Take a Virtual Tour of Queen Mary’s Dollhouse

Monday 27 February 14:30:00 UTC 2017

It features working elevators, electric lighting, and indoor plumbing. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drone strike in Syria results in Al Qaeda having to go on Career Builder and solicit resumes for a new #2 [Followup]

Monday 27 February 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Heaton’s Aerocommuter

Monday 27 February 14:12:56 UTC 2017

Back in 1974, David Heaton spent $50,000 pursuing his dream of building an "aerocommuter" — a two-person flying saucer that would "cost no more than a medium-priced American car," thereby allowing everyone to fly to work.

He claimed to have all the engineering problems worked out, but it doesn't sound like one of these things ever managed to leave the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these pandas [Photoshop]

Monday 27 February 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Spokesman for Canadian oil refinery insists that absolutely nothing is going on at the plant and you should ignore any photos of the entire complex engulfed in towering clouds of flame to the contrary [Unlikely]

Monday 27 February 13:50:05 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Geeky Tote Bags For Lugging Around Your Books

Monday 27 February 13:30:00 UTC 2017

You can never have enough tote bags. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In Maine, the decline of the blood worm is making scientists squirm [Sad]

Monday 27 February 12:59:22 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 143: The Conscience Fund

Monday 27 February 12:50:36 UTC 2017

Image: Wikimedia Commons For 200 years the U.S. Treasury has maintained a “conscience fund” that accepts repayments from people who have defrauded or stolen from the government. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll describe the history of the fund and some of the more memorable and puzzling contributions it’s received over the years. We’ll also ponder Audrey … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Airline introduces world's first beer specifically designed to be enjoyed at high altitudes. Tastes great at 35,000 feet [Cool]

Monday 27 February 12:49:11 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When real life resembles a Harry Potter book: Scientists say an elixir made from dragon's blood could bring somebody back from the threshold of death [Cool]

Monday 27 February 12:41:55 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Truck that plowed into a Mardi Gras parade in New Orleans was less terrorism and more Mardi Gras [Followup]

Monday 27 February 12:19:11 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Oscar

Monday 27 February 12:15:00 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » What's the Purpose of the Diamond on the Front of Backpacks?

Monday 27 February 12:00:00 UTC 2017

And it's called a pig snout. [Link]

Weird Universe » Very Long Prison Sentences Served

Monday 27 February 11:56:00 UTC 2017

Original article here.

Try to guess where Honeck's stint places him in the Top Ten "Longest Times in the Stir." [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The 2017 Academy Award Winners

Monday 27 February 10:30:00 UTC 2017

Great links to start a great work week! [Link]

Mental Floss » Fantastic Collective Nouns for Animals

Monday 27 February 9:30:00 UTC 2017

From shiver and tower to bloat and smack, groups of animals are called some strange things. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Before he was president, Abraham Lincoln was a street-fighting man: "It's not mythology. Lincoln, an awesome physical specimen at 6-feet-4, was widely known for his wrestling skills and had only one recorded defeat in a dozen years" [Cool

Monday 27 February 6:28:47 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dewey Defeats Truman, Oscars edition [Fail]

Monday 27 February 5:46:10 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [353 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New gym opens in San Francisco where not only will smoking pot during a workout be acceptable, it will be encouraged [Cool]

Monday 27 February 5:30:44 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ice chunk from a WestJet plane crashes through Canadian couple's roof. And yes, they were watching hockey when it happened [Interesting]

Monday 27 February 3:57:42 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here are things from the 1970s you can still buy today. You can be the owner of a Pet Rock [PSA]

Monday 27 February 3:49:27 UTC 2017

PSA [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Begun the Great Robot War has …in this Manhattan woman's apartment [Scary]

Monday 27 February 3:37:38 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Glamour shots for shelter pups means faster adoptions [Sappy]

Monday 27 February 3:31:36 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Of course you can take a rat taxidermy class in NYC, it's where rats get stuffed with good pizza and everything else [Weird]

Monday 27 February 3:17:35 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Repeat drink driver claims not being able to drive his orange Aston Martin is "extreme hardship" – and makes it harder for people to be able to identify him as a reprehensible entitled douchebag [Asinine]

Monday 27 February 2:55:32 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well, that's one way to flush your job down the toilet [Facepalm]

Monday 27 February 2:44:23 UTC 2017

Facepalm [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And the award for the most photogenic animal goes to… [Sappy]

Monday 27 February 2:36:25 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch: Why the World Is Slowly Running Out of Sand

Monday 27 February 1:30:00 UTC 2017

Beach sand is actually a valuable resource. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this gaze into your soul [Photoshop]

Monday 27 February 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thousands march in Moscow to remember murdered opposition leader Boris Nemtsov. Polonium futures are up 13% in early trading [Interesting]

Monday 27 February 0:50:42 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever dream of digging a hole straight through to the other side of the earth as a kid? Well, if it were somehow possible, the kids in tiny Rudyard, Montana would be the only ones in the U.S. who'd actually emerge on dry land [Cool]

Monday 27 February 0:49:42 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » News of the Weird (February 26, 2017)

Monday 27 February 0:45:53 UTC 2017

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M516, February 26, 2017
Copyright 2017 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

U-S-A! U-S-A!: Although discouraging marriage of children in developing nations has been U.S. foreign policy for years, a data-collecting watchdog group in America disclosed in February that 27 U.S. states, as well, have no minimum marriage ages and estimates that an average … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hide your sports memorabilia – OJ Simpson to be released from prison as early as October [Followup]

Monday 27 February 0:06:43 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police officer directing traffic away from an accident saves his own life when an out of control car comes careening towards him [Scary]

Monday 27 February 0:01:19 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [30 comments] [Link]

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