John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Is your teenage son constantly tired? If the answer is yes, a new study says he is likely headed for a life of crime [Weird]

Friday 24 February 23:20:05 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know you are in the back woods when a person driving a sleigh reports that a man used his "flying machine" to cause a massive stampede of 1,500 elk and the reporter writes is as "yup, we live in the future" [Asinine]

Friday 24 February 22:49:31 UTC 2017

Asinine [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Highly Unusual Funeral of Lee Harvey Oswald

Friday 24 February 22:30:00 UTC 2017

Fearing attacks on his corpse, the Secret Service guarded Lee Harvey Oswald well into the afterlife. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Deputy suspended after satanic curse allegation [Florida]

Friday 24 February 22:19:31 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Show

Friday 24 February 22:00:00 UTC 2017

Unearthed from a more than century-old building, the tile has a tale to tell about the waves of immigration in New York. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man facing felony charges after pulling gun at Chuck E. Cheese's. To be fair, it's a reasonable reaction to being surprised by an animatronic horror mouse [Scary]

Friday 24 February 21:55:31 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Blind man tasered by police who mistook his white cane for a gun. This marks a troubling escalation in perceived violence by British police, who normally claim blind people were carrying Samurai swords before they got tazed [Followup]

Friday 24 February 21:31:31 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Workout Tips From a 14th Century Knight

Friday 24 February 21:30:00 UTC 2017

This rigorous workout combines cardio with strength training—like a medieval CrossFit. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is a test of your knowledge of this week's weird news. This is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, you'd be bonkers already. It's the Fark Weekly Weird News Quiz [Cool]

Friday 24 February 21:21:07 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Unquote

Friday 24 February 21:10:18 UTC 2017

Image: Wikimedia Commons G.K. Chesterton admired the furrows in a plowed field, made by patient men who “had no notion of giving great sweeps and swirls to the eye”: Those cataracts of cloven earth; they were done by the grace of God. I had always rejoiced in them; but I had never found any reason for my joy. There are some … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Festivus recycler loses load in New York [Silly]

Friday 24 February 21:07:31 UTC 2017

Silly [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this levitation trick [Photoshop]

Friday 24 February 21:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Wikipedia Bots Wage Editing Wars That Last for Years

Friday 24 February 21:00:00 UTC 2017

The site's most relentless editors are computer algorithms. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meet the new chili that has all of the flavor of the habanero but none of the heat. Also has none of the point [Interesting]

Friday 24 February 20:43:31 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [143 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Is Bacon Sometimes Green?

Friday 24 February 20:30:00 UTC 2017

It looks like something out of a sci-fi movie, but it's perfectly normal. [Link]

Mental Floss »  Scientists Have Discovered Four New (Very Tiny) Night Frogs

Friday 24 February 20:00:00 UTC 2017

Seven new frog species were discovered in all. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dutch abortion boat detained by Guatemalan army. If only they'd had a rudder of some kind, they could have stayed at sea [Strange]

Friday 24 February 19:57:42 UTC 2017

Strange [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In another sign of how libby-lib the Church has become under Pope Francis, and a probable sign of the end times, Catholics are given permission to eat meat on Fridays during Lent. But only if you are a drunken, subhuman Irishman [Amusing]

Friday 24 February 19:35:53 UTC 2017

Amusing [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man caught flashing his genitals in the Intercourse library will soon be thrust in the hole, begging for sweet release [Creepy]

Friday 24 February 19:14:04 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Smart and Fun Accessories That Help You Make the Most of Your Phone

Friday 24 February 19:11:16 UTC 2017

Your smartphone is a communicator, computer, and camera in one, but a wide variety of accessories can help you get even more out of your phone. Here are a few of them. [Link]

Mental Floss » Change Your Passwords: A Massive Web Leak Has Occurred

Friday 24 February 19:11:15 UTC 2017

A tiny bug in its code caused Cloudflare to experience a serious memory leak. [Link]

Mental Floss » You Can Binge-Watch This Year's Oscar Frontrunners on Virgin Atlantic Flights

Friday 24 February 19:11:14 UTC 2017

Missed 'Moonlight'? Didn’t see 'La La Land'? The airline's got you covered. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Australian Navy is way more badass than you realize. Well, sure, they'd have to be to survive all the sharks, venomous eels, spiderfish, aquatic drop bears in the ocean down there [Interesting]

Friday 24 February 18:50:04 UTC 2017

Interesting [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beer thief keeps returning to the same store to steal cases of Budweiser. Not sure if this deserves a hero or sick tag, so we'll just call him sad [Sad]

Friday 24 February 18:40:05 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Millennials Aren’t Job-Hopping—And It’s Costing Them

Friday 24 February 18:30:00 UTC 2017

Despite the myth, millennial employees are loyal to a fault. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It turns out Kim Jong Nam was auditioning for a sequel to The Rock [Scary]

Friday 24 February 18:20:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off that old lone ranger and you don't shoot a bb gun at a cop outside of a Florida Walmart [Florida]

Friday 24 February 18:07:12 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 Restaurant Treats Made with Girl Scout Cookies

Friday 24 February 18:00:00 UTC 2017

Talented chefs from all over take the opportunity to devise treats made with Girl Scout Cookies. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's naked woman on a rampage in a church comes to us from the hamlet of Stamford, Connecticut. With why yes, she was likely high on drugs mugshot goodness [Spiffy]

Friday 24 February 17:50:04 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Latest 'decline of Western civilization' indicator: Oxford dictionary announces latest additions including: "yes" "squad goals" "drunk text" "craptacular" and "drink the haterade" [Stupid]

Friday 24 February 17:41:42 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Lose Yourself in Artist Yayoi Kusama’s 'Infinity Mirrors'

Friday 24 February 17:30:00 UTC 2017

The world-famous exhibition opens this weekend at the Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden in Washington, D.C. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Heroism can be found in the most unlikely of places. Yes, even inside a coffee table in Florida [Cool]

Friday 24 February 17:24:33 UTC 2017

Cool [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finding a great fishing spot is great, but the owners of the pier would prefer you not use the same methods your dog does to "mark your spot". Thanks [Florida]

Friday 24 February 17:07:25 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Alarm Clock Doesn't Stop Until You Shoot It With a Nerf Gun

Friday 24 February 17:00:00 UTC 2017

Sleep with a Nerf gun under your pillow. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brand-new Maserati stolen when salesman falls for the old "Wanna see my new boat?" trick [Florida]

Friday 24 February 16:43:25 UTC 2017

Florida [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Bees Can Teach Each Other to Play Ball

Friday 24 February 16:30:00 UTC 2017

It’s even cuter than it sounds. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And here's a list of moronic Canadian calls to 911 [Stupid]

Friday 24 February 16:16:45 UTC 2017

Stupid [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Was Andrew Johnson Impeached?

Friday 24 February 15:56:22 UTC 2017

Some presidential firsts aren't so quaint. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Best Picture Academy Award Winners

Friday 24 February 15:56:21 UTC 2017

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » In 1970, a shot from a striking teamster driver caused an 18-wheel truck filled with 21 tons of dynamite to vaporize. With photos of the hole in the interstate, and windows broken from over 12 miles away [Scary]

Friday 24 February 15:50:05 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [198 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Wake Us Up When This Conversation Is Over.

Friday 24 February 15:38:42 UTC 2017

Cube rat #1: So tell me, Bob, you're a college basketball official. Which school in the Big 12 has the worst behaved students.?
Cube rat #2: Well, you would be surprised. It's Baylor.
Cube rat #1: Baylor is a Baptist college… You would think they would be better behaved. Cube rat #2: Well, they are just frustrated because they don't get any… (long … [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Sharp Facts About Marvel's Wolverine

Friday 24 February 15:30:00 UTC 2017

For decades, not even Marvel was sure what to do with the pint-sized Canadian mutant. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two killers who murdered their respective spouses marry each other in Nepalese prison. And the marriage was arranged by the groom's mother, who is also in prison for helping her son kill his first wife. Awwwww [Sappy]

Friday 24 February 15:20:06 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Secret to a successful marriage

Friday 24 February 14:55:03 UTC 2017

February 1954: J. Frank Winebrenner, wed 72 years, when asked what the secret to his successful marriage was, replied, "We did little fussin'. We said little. Mostly we just set."

Looks like Frank died in March 1955 and Tressa in 1956. They're still "setting" together, saying little.

Chicago Daily Tribune – Feb 10, 1954

Los Angeles Times – Feb 4, 1954 [Link]

Weird Universe » Live Burros By Mail!

Friday 24 February 14:55:02 UTC 2017

I want these at the Spencer's Gifts location in my local mall!

From THE ELKS MAGAZINE for October 1954. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Fake' psychic in trouble for posing as 'real' psychic. Let that sink in for a moment [Ironic]

Friday 24 February 14:50:05 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Unsolved Murder That Fascinated 1840s New York (and Edgar Allan Poe)

Friday 24 February 14:30:00 UTC 2017

No one knows what happened to "The Beautiful Cigar Girl," although Poe was convinced he'd solved the mystery. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you abandoned a live chicken in the bathroom at the Cobourg McDonald's in Northumberland, Municipal Animal Services would like to tell you that unlike McNuggets, it was delicious [Weird]

Friday 24 February 14:20:05 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this man and his beautiful balloon [Photoshop]

Friday 24 February 14:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Secrets of Executive Recruiters

Friday 24 February 13:30:00 UTC 2017

They can earn as much as $75,000 for placing a single candidate. [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: NASA's New Plasma Rocket

Friday 24 February 13:06:15 UTC 2017

Links to keep you busy all weekend long! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dear Mr. Trump, We got the jobs, we don't have qualified applicants [Obvious]

Friday 24 February 12:56:08 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [369 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The trial of the next batch of Branch Dildonians continues, featuring a video of these peaceful protestors discussing whether or not to execute federal employees and their families [Awkward]

Friday 24 February 12:50:45 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's been 26 years. Whatever happened to Generation X? [Followup]

Friday 24 February 12:20:06 UTC 2017

Followup [link] [242 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Get out of my country" — Those were the last words a 32-year-old Indian-born engineer heard before being murdered inside a Kansas bar [Sick]

Friday 24 February 12:02:45 UTC 2017

Sick [link] [391 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Border Patrol at JFK refuse to let passengers arriving on domestic flight deplane without showing their papers. Move along citizen, nothing to see here [Scary]

Friday 24 February 11:59:45 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [227 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Best Picture Academy Award Winners

Friday 24 February 11:45:00 UTC 2017

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Iowa legislator proposes bill to limit university hires to party loyalists [Murica]

Friday 24 February 11:34:43 UTC 2017

Murica [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Grizzly Bear Rug Aesthetic Also Makes For Adorable Trivets

Friday 24 February 11:30:00 UTC 2017

The latest in kitsch kitchenware. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Behold – the deep-sea giant WTF [Weird]

Friday 24 February 11:20:33 UTC 2017

Weird [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just in case you were wondering, American troops are still in Iraq trying to clean up the mess from 2007, which was a cleanup from 2003, which was a cleanup from 1991 [Obvious]

Friday 24 February 10:33:36 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lawmaker wants to remove Hillary Clinton's landing strip [Giggity]

Friday 24 February 9:47:27 UTC 2017

Giggity [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Sleeping in a Tiny House

Friday 24 February 9:00:00 UTC 2017

If the TV shows, documentaries, and countless blogs, Tumblr pages, and Pinterest accounts are any indication, tiny houses have become something of a craze. Our own Shaunacy Ferro wanted to know what the buzz was all about, so she booked a night at the Eleanor—an upstate New York luxury tiny house. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Allo allo, what's all this then? Dearie, this man in't dead, he's merely restin'. Look, I tell ya, he got over it, and walked off. Put it in the report: "No offences were identified" [Awkward]

Friday 24 February 8:20:45 UTC 2017

Awkward [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Here's What R2-D2 Would Sound Like With a Human Voice

Friday 24 February 8:00:00 UTC 2017

New accent, new personality. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just when you thought heroes didn't exist, along comes a scientist who wants to eliminate hangovers by 2050 [Spiffy]

Friday 24 February 7:04:00 UTC 2017

Spiffy [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Quick Thinking

Friday 24 February 6:53:34 UTC 2017

The historian Socrates tells us that the Emperor Tiberius, who was much given to astrology, used to put the masters of that art, whom he thought of consulting, to a severe test. He took them to the top of his house, and if he saw any reason to suspect their skill, threw them down the steep. Thither he took Thrasyllus, … [Link]

Mental Floss » Chart the Evolution of Nintendo's 'Zelda' Franchise

Friday 24 February 6:00:00 UTC 2017

This infographic shows how the games have evolved over the years, from its NES debut to 2017's 'Breath of the Wild.' [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy wears ladies' bras to work to "understand the brands he works with." That's his story and he's sticking to it [Unlikely]

Friday 24 February 5:32:00 UTC 2017

Unlikely [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ugly-ass gorilla born at the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha. Winter was too warm for them to freeze to death this year after taking care of the snakes [Sappy]

Friday 24 February 3:50:04 UTC 2017

Sappy [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man stopped at red light uses slingshot to take out traffic camera, forgetting that, duh, it's a camera [Dumbass]

Friday 24 February 3:32:55 UTC 2017

Dumbass [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Austria's health minister dies of cancer at age 53. Considering everything, probably needed a new one anyway [Ironic]

Friday 24 February 3:10:04 UTC 2017

Ironic [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ask not for whom the Taco Bell tolls, it tolls for thee, Naked Chicken Chalupa [Sad]

Friday 24 February 3:04:21 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's nothing nicer on a cold night than burning logs in a campfire or a fireplace – unless of course the logs are packed with pot [Fail]

Friday 24 February 2:39:57 UTC 2017

Fail [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kid learns painful lesson after shooting beehive with bb gun: bees don't have a sense of humor [Scary]

Friday 24 February 2:30:04 UTC 2017

Scary [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch Live as People Reenact The Beatles' Abbey Road Crossing

Friday 24 February 2:00:00 UTC 2017

A live webcam in the world-famous recording studio is trained on the famed zebra crossing 24/7. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Artificially endowed couple split [Creepy]

Friday 24 February 1:50:04 UTC 2017

Creepy [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you don't want to end up smothered & covered, don't try to breakup a Waffle House fight @ 2:30 AM [Sad]

Friday 24 February 1:10:04 UTC 2017

Sad [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this starry derelict [Photoshop]

Friday 24 February 1:00:01 UTC 2017

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's never a good idea to annoy a group of tigers. Especially with a low flying drone. A tasty looking low flying drone [Obvious]

Friday 24 February 0:30:04 UTC 2017

Obvious [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » In Case You Needed 6 More Reasons to Love Sloths

Friday 24 February 0:00:00 UTC 2017

Feeling down and want to feel better? Watch this video about sloths. Feeling good and want to feel better? Same goes. Sloths are the best. [Link]

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