Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » The Westminster Dog Show has added a new category: Alt-Dogs [Repeat]

Wednesday 1 February 23:43:26 UTC 2017

[link] [48 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Long-Lost Mark Twain Fairy Tale Is Now a Children's Book

Wednesday 1 February 23:30:00 UTC 2017

It's called "The Purloining of Prince Oleomargarine." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman quits her job and sets up her own business catching wild alligators – saying they're not scary just 'misunderstood.' Come back next year when 'Stumpy' updates us on her experiences [Scary]

Wednesday 1 February 23:13:26 UTC 2017

[link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ugly-ass jaguar twins a surprise birth at a zoo because the couple didn't hit it off [Sappy]

Wednesday 1 February 22:43:26 UTC 2017

[link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Does Your State Stack Up in This Year's Well-Being Rankings?

Wednesday 1 February 22:39:32 UTC 2017

If you need an excuse to move to Hawaii, here it is. [Link]

Mental Floss » 4 Reasons Why the Weather Forecast Is Better Than Ever

Wednesday 1 February 22:39:31 UTC 2017

Admittedly, we need a lot of work on #4. [Link]

Mental Floss » Apply Now to Be an Apprentice to a Globe Maker

Wednesday 1 February 22:30:00 UTC 2017

You don't need any mapping skills—just to be great at making stuff with your hands. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you ever wanted an authentic Mayor McCheese or Hamburglar playground ride for your backyard, now is your chance [Cool]

Wednesday 1 February 22:16:46 UTC 2017

[link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Was February Chosen for Black History Month?

Wednesday 1 February 22:00:00 UTC 2017

It has to do with two specific dates on the calendar. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nun gets death threats after suggesting the Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin after all and had sex with Joseph [Awkward]

Wednesday 1 February 21:50:06 UTC 2017

[link] [217 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hemingway, on writing: "All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence you know." Okay, here goes: "THIS is your Fark Writers' thread" [CSB]

Wednesday 1 February 21:25:23 UTC 2017

[link] [167 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What carries a 20 year jail sentence in Virginia? a) Robbery b) Assault or c) Setting a potted plant on fire? [Stupid]

Wednesday 1 February 21:20:07 UTC 2017

[link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ok, you've already got a bunch of face tattoos but you've been sitting in jail on murder charges since 2015. What would you do? What. Would. You. Do? [Amusing]

Wednesday 1 February 21:14:06 UTC 2017

[link] [53 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Convert Human Skin Cells Into Cancer Killers

Wednesday 1 February 21:01:00 UTC 2017

They turned the cells into drug carriers that tracked and attacked brain tumors. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this simple farmer and his horse [Photoshop]

Wednesday 1 February 21:00:01 UTC 2017

[link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Fluffy Facts About the Shih Tzu

Wednesday 1 February 21:00:00 UTC 2017

Learn more about the so-called "lion dogs." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study: Frog tongues are amazing in the sack [Interesting]

Wednesday 1 February 20:50:06 UTC 2017

[link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fast food wrapper chemicals linked to kidney and testicular cancer, elevated cholesterol, decreased fertility, thyroid problems, changes in hormone functioning, adverse developmental effects, and decreased immune response in children." I'M LO

Wednesday 1 February 20:46:47 UTC 2017

[link] [76 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » AWOL

Wednesday 1 February 20:36:02 UTC 2017

A harmonic progression is a progression formed by taking the reciprocals of an arithmetic progression (so an example is 1/1, 1/2, 1/3, 1/4 …). When tutoring mathematics at Oxford, Charles Dodgson had a favorite example to illustrate this: According to him, it is (or was) the rule at Christ Church that, if an undergraduate is absent for a night during … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Think your HOA is bad? This one is trying to stop a guardrail being built after six cars crash into a house [Asinine]

Wednesday 1 February 20:20:07 UTC 2017

[link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wanted: One new guided-missile cruiser captain, as the current job holder is going to get his ass fired shortly [Fail]

Wednesday 1 February 19:50:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Woman illustrates why she was kicked off Spirit Airlines [Unlikely]

Wednesday 1 February 19:20:07 UTC 2017

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Mental Floss » Maryland May Soon Be Home to a New Guinness Brewery

Wednesday 1 February 19:03:00 UTC 2017

It would be Guinness's first U.S. brewery in more than 60 years. [Link]

Mental Floss » How Well Do You Know the Presidents?

Wednesday 1 February 19:02:42 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » Can You Pick These '80s Hits?

Wednesday 1 February 19:02:41 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » Click Through South America, North-to-South

Wednesday 1 February 19:02:40 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » Can You Pick Each Type of Test?

Wednesday 1 February 19:02:39 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » Can You Name These Scrambled Disney and Pixar Films?

Wednesday 1 February 19:02:38 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » A Hidden Coin in 'Donkey Kong 64' Went Undetected for 17 Years

Wednesday 1 February 19:00:00 UTC 2017

Players now need to collect 977 coins to complete a full run. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Haven't seen one of these on Fark in a while so here's the return of mugshot roundup. Come in for number 2, stay for 4,5,12 and 14. Bonus: deslidified for your viewing pleasure [Amusing]

Wednesday 1 February 18:50:16 UTC 2017

[link] [185 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Reports that Queen Elizabeth has legal authority to behead Donald Trump have been found to be false [PSA]

Wednesday 1 February 18:46:46 UTC 2017

[link] [105 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Love Your Body

Wednesday 1 February 18:44:25 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » 20 Inspiring Quotes from Langston Hughes

Wednesday 1 February 18:30:00 UTC 2017

“I have discovered in life that there are ways of getting almost anywhere you want to go, if you really want to go.” [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Six peepholes were found in a North Carolina men's rest stop bathroom. Who hasn't had the fantasy of checking out fat truckers and retired old men relieving themselves [Creepy]

Wednesday 1 February 18:20:06 UTC 2017

[link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We put 700 red dots on a map to see if anyone would lose their shiat after seeing it [Satire]

Wednesday 1 February 17:50:06 UTC 2017

[link] [146 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Which NFL Teams Are Most (And Least) Often Used As Passwords

Wednesday 1 February 17:45:00 UTC 2017

The Patriots don't fare so well. Neither do the Falcons. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Substitute teacher discovers that commando cartwheels are not OK [Amusing]

Wednesday 1 February 17:20:07 UTC 2017

[link] [223 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Billy Joel will play Lambeau Field in Wisconsin, marking the first time he's ever been in a building where he has fewer DUIs than the average person in the crowd [Amusing]

Wednesday 1 February 16:58:05 UTC 2017

[link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman stabs date, tries to eat his heart in quest to be serial killer. Turns out love is not all she's unlucky at [Scary]

Wednesday 1 February 16:45:02 UTC 2017

[link] [67 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Dive Inside Saturn’s Rings With Gorgeous New NASA Images

Wednesday 1 February 16:11:25 UTC 2017

New pictures from the Cassini orbiter are some of the most extreme close-ups we’ve ever gotten of the gas giant’s main rings. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Track of the Moon Beast

Wednesday 1 February 16:11:19 UTC 2017

[Link]

Mental Floss » 25 Rich Facts About ‘Beverly Hills, 90210’

Wednesday 1 February 16:00:00 UTC 2017

15. Those students weren't yelling "Donna Martin Graduates!" [Link]

Weird Universe » Upside-Down Flag

Wednesday 1 February 15:56:13 UTC 2017

Nebraska state senator Burke Harr has sponsored a resolution to change his state's flag, noting that the current design is so nondescript and unremarkable that the flag once flew for 10 days upside-down above the State Capitol and no one noticed.

This brings to mind a recurring weird news theme that we've discussed before: art accidentally hung upside-down and no … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Best to Forget About Milwaukee Entirely

Wednesday 1 February 15:37:05 UTC 2017

Female student: Where are you from?
Male student: Milwaukee.
Female student: Oh, you know, I always forget Milwaukee is a state. Vanderbilt University
Nashville, Tennessee [Link]

Mental Floss » Kit Kat Sushi Is Coming to Japan

Wednesday 1 February 15:00:00 UTC 2017

The brand will sell sweet versions of tuna, egg, and sea urchin sushi at their new store. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oh. My. God. The U.S. Bacon Reserves have hit a fifty-year low. EVERYBODY PANIC AND STOCKPILE BACON [Scary]

Wednesday 1 February 14:50:04 UTC 2017

[link] [157 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Let's start drinking early since we didn't last Friday Afternoon. Little Bailey's in the coffee, maybe a mimosa, This is YOUR last Friday's Fark Weird News Quiz [Amusing]

Wednesday 1 February 14:39:34 UTC 2017

[link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dispute over a man's last words, Giant Meteor's take on the election, and how to get less sleep. These are YOUR highest voted Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-01-22 to Sat 2017-01-28 [FarkBlog]

Wednesday 1 February 14:09:21 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop what the man with the funny orange hair has drawn [Photoshop]

Wednesday 1 February 14:00:01 UTC 2017

[link] [43 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 20 Funny Valentine's Day Cards to Give Your Loved Ones

Wednesday 1 February 14:00:00 UTC 2017

Show how much you care by giving your loved one the gift of laughter. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mother, father, and baby all have the same birthday, a 1-in-48 million odds of it happening (Edit: more like 1 in 133,225) [Cool]

Wednesday 1 February 13:50:04 UTC 2017

[link] [131 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Track of the Moon Beast

Wednesday 1 February 13:35:19 UTC 2017

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are many ways to decipher if a paper currency is fake, including examining the fibers, acid washing the ink, or noticing the words 'MOTION PICTURE USE ONLY' printed on one side [Obvious]

Wednesday 1 February 13:12:25 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Old man refuses to sell his giant 40-year-old cock bush [Weird]

Wednesday 1 February 12:13:12 UTC 2017

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Mental Floss » These Delicate Tea Time Desserts Mirror Modern Art

Wednesday 1 February 12:00:00 UTC 2017

What does a Mark Rothko painting taste like? Apparently, raspberry and coconut. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Forget the Doomsday Clock, the Rapture Index knows what time it is [Followup]

Wednesday 1 February 11:54:51 UTC 2017

[link] [127 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » From the Indies to the Andes in His Undies

Wednesday 1 February 11:00:00 UTC 2017

Full story here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're the police commissioner, do your best not to smile in your mugshot after getting arrested for domestic violence [Asinine]

Wednesday 1 February 10:43:04 UTC 2017

[link] [57 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Edgar Allan Poe Book Covers

Wednesday 1 February 10:30:00 UTC 2017

Thanks for checking out the morning links! [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Famous Birthdays to Celebrate in February

Wednesday 1 February 9:30:00 UTC 2017

Do you share a birthday with one of these famous people from history? [Link]

Mental Floss » How (and Why) Male Seahorses Get Pregnant

Wednesday 1 February 8:30:00 UTC 2017

It isn't simply to score points with their mates. [Link]

Mental Floss » This High Schooler’s Locker Has a Vending Machine Inside

Wednesday 1 February 6:30:00 UTC 2017

But he has to stock it himself. [Link]

Futility Closet » Grass Photographs

Wednesday 1 February 6:29:01 UTC 2017

Heather Ackroyd and Dan Harvey make photographs using grass. When grass is grown from seed on a vertical surface, it can record complex images much as photographic film does: Each germinating blade produces chlorophyll in proportion to the light that reaches it. Stronger light produces greener grass, and blades deprived of light grow but produce no chlorophyll, leaving them yellow. … [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Offbeat Holidays to Celebrate in February

Wednesday 1 February 5:30:00 UTC 2017

February may be the shortest month of the year, but it still has plenty of quirky celebrations. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's a look at everybody's favorite prison food: Nutraloaf: "It's not something you swallow easily. Basically, it's baked slop with surprise pineapple pieces" [Sick]

Wednesday 1 February 5:09:37 UTC 2017

[link] [204 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Theory Claims Super Bowl Winners Can Predict the Stock Market

Wednesday 1 February 4:30:00 UTC 2017

Forget your Super Bowl boxes, the key to a big payday rests in this economic anomaly. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If a food truck is so filthy that you don't even want to touch the hygiene manual, it's filthy (pics) [Scary]

Wednesday 1 February 4:01:36 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Three Alaskans prove that if you can walk away from the landing it is a good landing. With photo which might say otherwise [Scary]

Wednesday 1 February 3:54:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Lady calls police when her dealer jacks up the price. No, not car dealer [Amusing]

Wednesday 1 February 3:50:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Not stolen parts / But weed instead / Has sealed your fate / You'll soon be dead …. Burma (oops, Myanmar) Shave [Asinine]

Wednesday 1 February 3:45:28 UTC 2017

[link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canada begins their invasion of US, one moose at a time [Amusing]

Wednesday 1 February 3:10:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » It takes a special kind of chef to whip up goat spinal cord and yak yogurt for 25 [Interesting]

Wednesday 1 February 2:30:05 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Worst car advice of all time. OF. ALL.TIME [Facepalm]

Wednesday 1 February 2:28:29 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » When the police report describes the color of your buttocks at 3:30am as "illuminated", maybe you need to spend a little more time outdoors in the sun [Amusing]

Wednesday 1 February 1:56:27 UTC 2017

[link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Train trips can be comfortable enough to fall asleep on. This is bad news if you are the driver [Scary]

Wednesday 1 February 1:50:05 UTC 2017

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Mental Floss » 7 Alternative Versions Of Monopoly

Wednesday 1 February 1:30:00 UTC 2017

There isn't really much you can do to stop the inevitable squabbles over who gets to build what, and where, when you play Monopoly with your friends and family. You can, however, have a change of scene, thanks to the ever-increasing number of alternative Monopoly games out there. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So you want to know how the FBI works, huh? Good news, someone just slipped their secret rules to a reporter. "Based on a vague tip, the FBI can surveil anyone." Never mind, don't read, ignore that plane [Interesting]

Wednesday 1 February 1:10:05 UTC 2017

[link] [42 comments] [Link]

John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons