Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Girl Scouts to sell 100-year-old cookies [Interesting]

Saturday 14 January 23:30:28 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » It's U-Haul not U-Live [Fail]

Saturday 14 January 22:53:41 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » An Irrational customer, a big SUV, and a T-Mobile store. Ready, Set, GO [Florida]

Saturday 14 January 22:28:27 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Final solution to protesters blocking freeways [Murica]

Saturday 14 January 22:01:35 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » "Scientists discover that white rhino dung has a lot in common with a Facebook post". Well duh [Obvious]

Saturday 14 January 21:47:45 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Kids explain what colors are like to a blind man. "Pink is like unicorns exploding in my mouth" [Amusing]

Saturday 14 January 21:08:09 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these breadwinners [Photoshop]

Saturday 14 January 21:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Attention South Florida: You're gonna need a bigger boat [Florida]

Saturday 14 January 20:40:35 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » You remember that foolproof scheme you had to never pay another toll again? Well, make sure "don't deploy while cop is the next lane" is on the checklist [Florida]

Saturday 14 January 20:03:32 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Protip: Guns and airports don't mix. No, really. We're serious. I mean, we love guns as much as the next red-blooded 'Murican, but if you guys keep it up at this rate, we're going to end up with all of them. Signed, the TSA [Facepalm]

Saturday 14 January 18:20:27 UTC 2017

[link] [175 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bernie Madoff cornered the market for hot cocoa mix at his prison, buying all the packets and reselling at higher prices to other prisoners. I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me [Amusing]

Saturday 14 January 18:20:02 UTC 2017

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Mental Floss » Hubble Captures Incredible View of Galaxy-Sized Maser

Saturday 14 January 17:00:00 UTC 2017

Imagine a galactic-scale laser shooting a beam of microwaves across space. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Obvious: New study shows food stamps not used to buy filet mignon, foie gras, and lobster. Sad: What food stamps are actually used for [Sad]

Saturday 14 January 16:45:56 UTC 2017

[link] [522 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Penny Payment

Saturday 14 January 16:12:51 UTC 2017

In the news recently, yet another case of paying with pennies. This time it was Nick Stafford of Cedar Bluff, Virginia who wheelbarrowed 300,000 pennies into the lobby of the DMV.

In cases such as this, the penny payer is usually trying to get revenge for having to pay a fine, but Stafford hadn't been fined. Instead, he was paying … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Just a Matter of Time for the UN

Saturday 14 January 16:00:35 UTC 2017

Young male employee to friend: I mean there's no strippers in cages or anything, but it looks like it could turn into that kind of place, you know? Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dog escapes from a yard and finishes 7th in a half marathon. Meanwhile, subby set a PR in dashing to the fridge during commercials this week [Spiffy]

Saturday 14 January 14:23:12 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this unexpected tree [Photoshop]

Saturday 14 January 14:00:01 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Yep, this sexist "Date Etiquette" homework was assigned in 2017, not the 1950s. But hey what is wrong with a little history lesson as well? [Facepalm]

Saturday 14 January 13:53:27 UTC 2017

[link] [386 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good: a cat is rescued from the side of a highway in freezing temperatures. Better: he has a microchip that identifies him as being missing for 15 months. Best: Freddie has now returned home, just in time for Caturday [Caturday]

Saturday 14 January 13:00:00 UTC 2017

[link] [860 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Milton Metz, RIP

Saturday 14 January 12:48:07 UTC 2017

I never heard his radio show, but Milton Metz seems as if he were an amiably weird guy.

Obit here. [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 'Golden Girls' References Explained for Younger Viewers

Saturday 14 January 12:03:50 UTC 2017

For those of you who were too young to watch the show when it first aired, many of the topical references might be ancient history. [Link]

Mental Floss » This Artist Creates Amazingly Intricate Embroideries of Insects

Saturday 14 January 11:30:00 UTC 2017

Artist Humayrah Bint Altaf recreates the natural world in fabric. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » German zoo welcomes new ugly-ass male polar bear cub [Spiffy]

Saturday 14 January 11:16:14 UTC 2017

[link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canada will soon be legalizing recreational marijuana…is a sentence the folks that opened a retail weed outlet in a Banff mall should have read more closely [Fail]

Saturday 14 January 10:50:14 UTC 2017

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Mental Floss » This Phishing Scam Is Targeting Gmail Accounts by Posing as Your Contacts

Saturday 14 January 10:30:00 UTC 2017

Gmail users are reporting a phishing scam that comes masquerading as one of your contacts. [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch How Zero Became a Number

Saturday 14 January 9:30:00 UTC 2017

Zero is an oddball number. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » El Salvador reports no murders for 24 hours, suck it Detroit [Interesting]

Saturday 14 January 9:26:14 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man who looks like a human thumb with hair accused of posing as a male model [Weird]

Saturday 14 January 9:19:12 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » A new era is upon us after a Nevada woman dies of a bacterial infection that is resistant to every single antibiotic approved for use in the United States [Scary]

Saturday 14 January 8:13:00 UTC 2017

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Mental Floss » Grave Sightings: Levi Strauss, The Man Who Changed Fashion

Saturday 14 January 7:51:15 UTC 2017

Pay your last respects to the man who forever altered the way we dress. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New England ticks can exsanguinate a moose. Maybe you should take a trip somewhere safe like Australia instead [Scary]

Saturday 14 January 7:45:00 UTC 2017

[link] [36 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Zoos Are Tracking Elephant Fitness, and It's Improving the Animals' Health

Saturday 14 January 7:00:00 UTC 2017

The Elephant Welfare Initiative makes sure captive elephants get enough exercise. [Link]

Futility Closet » Triangular Time

Saturday 14 January 6:40:57 UTC 2017

Aachen University physicist Jörg Pretz has devised a binary clock in the shape of a triangular array of 15 lamps. Here’s how to read it: When lit, the top lamp denotes 6 hours. Each lamp on on the second row denotes 2 hours. Each lamp on on the third row denotes 30 minutes. Each lamp on on the fourth row … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ryan Reynolds is actually a 29-year-old mayor of a 964-person upstate NY town. He compares politics to 'Game of Thrones' and makes a salary of $3,600 [Amusing]

Saturday 14 January 6:13:20 UTC 2017

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Mental Floss » 10 Facts About Benedict Arnold

Saturday 14 January 6:00:00 UTC 2017

That Arnold defected to the British army in 1780 is common knowledge. But before he switched allegiances, Arnold engineered some crucial victories for the colonist rebels and, by all accounts, led a pretty interesting life. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Twenty-three years on the job, and you get clipped by a tractor trailer and you and your snowplow get shoved down a 300' cliff to your certain doom. That you lived should be a testament to others that seat belts save lives [Scary]

Saturday 14 January 5:59:00 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Greenwich Connecticut Republican calls town worker "nothing but a bloodsucking lazy union employee" then pinches her in the groin. Thanks, Trump [Dumbass]

Saturday 14 January 4:40:00 UTC 2017

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Mental Floss » 5 Strange News Stories From This Week

Saturday 14 January 4:00:00 UTC 2017

Odd news stories from all around. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Indian engineer spends 5 years collecting 110 pounds of metal nails from city roads deliberately put there by nearby tire puncture shops to boost their profits [Hero]

Saturday 14 January 3:50:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Research shows most Americans are one medical emergency away from financial ruin. Sleep tight [Scary]

Saturday 14 January 3:30:46 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Go to Jakarta for a good time when the night gets late, randy Indonesians get busy, especially the Muslim ones because it's so naughty [Awkward]

Saturday 14 January 3:26:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Man cleaning his desk discovers his million dollar unclaimed lottery ticket and just in time, 8 days before the expiration date. Still not enough to get subby to clean his desk [Cool]

Saturday 14 January 3:02:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Orangutan slaps tourist in the face for trying to take a selfie with him. Says tourist didn't even bother to ask plus he called me Trump and my hair is much better. It was quite an insult [Silly]

Saturday 14 January 2:38:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » If you own a pool, for Fark's sake, make sure you have a secure fence and locked gate…or else elephants might take over [Amusing]

Saturday 14 January 2:14:06 UTC 2017

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Mental Floss » 7 CES Tech Innovations and What They Mean For You, the Humble Consumer

Saturday 14 January 2:00:00 UTC 2017

Drones, VR, mermaids, and more. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you go the "tiny house" route, don't forget to add theft insurance to your fire, flood and earthquake policies [Unlikely]

Saturday 14 January 1:50:06 UTC 2017

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Futility Closet » “The Song of the Yellow Cork”

Saturday 14 January 1:45:38 UTC 2017

A golden cork is, mirror-wise,
shown by a polished shelf;
yet, even if endowed with eyes,
it could not see itself. This is because it stands aligned
with its reflected view;
but if it sideways is inclined,
such is no longer true. O man, suppose you did reflect
straight up, let’s say, in space:
Would this not have the same … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Let a chef show you how to make Oreo Creme Eggs at home. Finally there's a use for that kitchen that came with your place [Cool]

Saturday 14 January 1:26:06 UTC 2017

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Fark.com RSS » Philly Uber driver arrested for beating passenger bloody. Uber driver claims that he was provoked by the passenger's demands to be driven to New Jersey [Obvious]

Saturday 14 January 0:14:06 UTC 2017

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John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons