Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Facebook lurking makes you miserable, according to new study. Next study hopefully to investigate how miserable actually posting on Facebook makes you [Interesting]
[link] [76 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists say Svalbard Seed Vault is not a secret eugenics lab, just a bigger version of your Grandma's root cellar that happens to be nuke-proof, built to last 1,000 years, and guarded by roving polar bears [Interesting]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two guilty in Bath tipper truck crash. Apparently I don't speak English anymore, because that makes no sense [Strange]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The real question here is why is your mom coming into your bedroom wearing only her underwear in the first place [Strange]
[link] [90 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 4 Questions That Will Impress Any Hiring Manager in an Interview
Be prepared when your interviewer turns the tables and asks if you have any questions. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » FBI begins arresting chiropractors for fraud [Obvious]
[link] [133 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Santa makes a visit to light up the sky in Philadelphia, still got booed for it [Interesting]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Foxi armchair [Photoshop]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Atari Releases Classic 'RollerCoaster Tycoon' for Mobile
This installment doesn’t mess with the retro quality of the early 2000s graphics. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Headline of the Year preliminaries: Context headlines, Round 1 [HOTY]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Headline of the Year preliminaries: Context headlines, Round 2 [HOTY]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » School nurse recognizes 7th grade student in serious medical distress, calls ambulance, applies AED until he's taken to hospital where surgery removed blood clot from kid's brain stem [Hero]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Are you doing that Elf on a Shelf thing for your kids? Congratulations, you are prepping them to accept an Orwellian, hyper-surveillanced police state [Unlikely]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Eric Trump announces he is no longer raising money for his namesake charity because of influence peddling concerns ""it's an extremely sad day when doing the right thing isn't the right thing," he whined, out loud, and yet no one
[link] [131 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Hello, 8-1-1? I wanna report a bad drone…it was white, with little spinny things, it went like this BZZZZZZZZZZZZ, an it was staring at me when I was taking a BATH" [Facepalm]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're going to harass the president-elect's daughter, don't tweet it to the world about an hour beforehand [Fail]
[link] [409 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How to Use Old Amazon Boxes to Make Free Shipments to Goodwill
Reuse your boxes and give back to the community at the same time. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Kim Jong-Un's special diet for border guards turns Best Korea into Shiattiest Korea [Sick]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Europe's most wanted man 'slipped off radar.' See, that's why you need to put handholds on those things [Fail]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The most popular gift in Arizona this year is a drone. In Vermont it's waterproof mascara. And in Alabama it's an electric turkey fryer [Obvious]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Surveillance footage shows 'Santa' passing out candy canes before robbing bank [Video]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 14 Delicious Latkes From Across the Country
They may not be the most traditional, but these creative latkes are more than worth your time this Hanukkah. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Officer Grinch gives speeding Florida motorists the choice between a ticket or an onion. Apparently, a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole was not an option [Florida]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Couple who ran a healthy living and investing service blog are arrested after they are found living with their five malnourished children in a car a in Florida Walmart parking lot [Florida]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Please Help!
This website takes many hours to research and write, and it’s supported entirely by its readers. If you value Futility Closet, please consider making a contribution to help keep it going. You can make a one-time donation on our Support Us page, or you can pledge a monthly contribution to receive bonus posts and other rewards. Thanks for your support, … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Washington State runs up $7.5M in fines for failing to provide competency services to mentally ill inmates, instead of doing what everyone else does and encouraging them to run for office [Fail]
[link] [8 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're a 61-year-old tourism official out of town on business and you decide to live-stream a half-hour of nude "adult content" to your lonely husband back home, best not to cross-post it to the Convention and Visitor Bureau's soci
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » You Could Play a Dog in Wes Anderson’s New Movie
Donors to Anderson’s 'Isle of Dogs' project could win a visit to the set and a small role in the film. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Schools aren't doing enough to combat the crap kids are made to believe at home [Asinine]
[link] [126 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Watch for wave of diarrhea in Sweden this Christmas. Man, those wacky Europeans really get into their sports [Sick]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney. You have the right to be taken to a hospital and then be a dumbass, in which case I will shoot you" [Florida]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Georgia policeman sentenced to life in prison after being convicted of murder in the death of a suspect he was taking into custody on whom he used his "non-lethal" taser more than a dozen times, despite the suspect already being handcuffed [F
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Scientists Develop Ultra-Long-Lasting Smartphone Battery
Batteries made with the new material would require 100 times less electricity to run and would only need to be recharged once every few months. [Link]
Mental Floss » 'Harry Potter' Bath Bomb Acts Like a Fizzy Sorting Hat
Drop it in and leave the rest to fate. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Putin claims Russian military is "stronger now than any potential aggressor" because everyone wants to attack Russia. Everyone [Dumbass]
[link] [108 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » St. Nick's Real Hometown Is an Ancient City in Turkey Entombed in Mud
Welcome to Myra, where a Greek bishop became a power player in early Christianity. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Meanwhile, in Canada, Canadians continue Canada-ing as usual [Cool]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Top 10 Science Stories of 2016
It's been a big year. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » We're thinking about happiness wrong, according to philosopher. To be fair, here at the end of 2016 happiness mostly refers to the sweet release of death [Interesting]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In Memoriam for Farkers lost to 2016 and beyond. It might get dusty in here. Or onions. Probably someone cutting onions [Sad]
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » ItWasHotAsBalls says FML
Today, my mom was out of the house, so I decided to make her a gift. I went into the garage for supplies and somehow ended up locking myself in for the next 2 hours. Not only that, but I cut my hand with the rusty paperclip I used to try to pick the lock. FML [Link]
FMyLife » NotBridezilla says FML
Today, after waiting 3 months until my friend's wedding was done being celebrated, I announced my engagement. My newlywed friend bitched me out for "stealing" all of the attention and being selfish. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » It's Not Too Late to Grab Great Amazon Holiday Deals
From the Smart Shopping Team… [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Christmas Carol Lyrics
[Link]
Mental Floss » Scientists Unwrap the ‘Nuptial Gifts’ Male Fireflies Give to Their Mates
"I think it's safe to say that adult fireflies are obsessed with sex." [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Black ice causing accidents along I-64. Local police now attempting to shoot the road [Scary]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You may not know the name of Henry Orenstein, a Holocaust survivor whose parents were executed by Nazis, but you know his work as he created some of the greatest toys of the '80s [Hero]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Google is pushing Stormfront out of your filter bubble [Interesting]
[link] [293 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man who just got out of jail shows up at his baby mama's trailer looking for his stuff and gets stabbed in the neck by her new boyfriend. Why yes, this did happen in the south [Strange]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Religious council issues fatwa banning Muslims from wearing Santa hats [Facepalm]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Today in Slate Generalizations: Why lesbians wear keys on their belts [PSA]
[link] [113 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » You Can Hire a Robot to Handwrite Your Thank-You Notes
With the Bond app, grateful but busy folks can order as many "hand" scrawled notes as they need. [Link]
Weird Universe » Santa Claus Keeps Dying
We've touched before on the theme of the death of Santa Claus, such as the metaphorical death of Santa portrayed in an ad, or a man who had changed his name to Santa finally giving up the ghost.
However, there's another recurring weird news theme in which Santa Claus literally drops dead, often in front of a crowd of horrified … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Stressed out because of all the work you have to wrap up before the holidays? Why not settle yourself down with a nice, tall glass of breast milk stolen from a co-worker? [Weird]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Artist Recreates Demolished Frank Lloyd Wright Buildings in Full Color
Few quality images survive of these historic structures. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Nobody Expects Much Of Me Anymore
Erring employee: Shit, I screwed it up.
Naive employee: Don't worry. If it's screwable, I've done it. Lakewood, Colorado [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Christmas cat [Photoshop]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Allabouttheporn says FML
Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anya says FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "that's what you get." FML [Link]
FMyLife » ConditionalLove says FML
Today, my father gave me and my sister $50 each because he got a bonus and wanted to spread it around. Then he asked for our report cards. My sister did well, but I didn't, barely scraping by on C's. After seeing my report card, he told me to give the $50 back. So, love is conditional, Dad? FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Models take six hours to report a dead body because they wanted to finish photo shoot. "We just came to the conclusion that we needed to get stuff done" [Asinine]
[link] [114 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Last-Minute Tax Breaks to Take Advantage of Before the End of the Year
It's not too late to save on your 2016 tax bill come April, but for some deductions you have to act before the end of the year. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Whatever" is the most annoying word according to a poll. Whatever [Interesting]
[link] [93 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here are some tips for men considering adult male circumcision [Scary]
[link] [101 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Christmas Carol Lyrics
[Link]
Weird Universe » They Died Laughing
[Click to enlarge]
Original article here. [Link]
Mental Floss » A 'Princess Bride' Coloring Book Is Coming This Month
Another movie-themed coloring book? As you wish. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Couple trying to sell an aging missile silo located between a Maine Air Force Base and the Canadian border are stunned they can't find any buyers. "Not even the crazies have asked about it" [Followup]
[link] [111 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Elephant farts on friend's head. Apparently, elephants are just large, grey fratboys [Amusing]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 UK Christmas Traditions That Confuse Americans
Father Who? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Brits spend an estimated two years of their lives hungover. Amateurs [Obvious]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman says a pet sitter she found on Craigslist sold her dogs. Your dog doesn't even want to use Craigslist for casual encounters [Sad]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Appearance over substance. Form over function. Trump über alles [Interesting]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Making of 'White Christmas'
Great links to start a great day! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 70 Employees ill after NM Health Department party [Ironic]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man fakes being an adult film talent scout, takes nude photos and has sex with multiple women, apparently this is a crime [Obvious]
[link] [192 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » brittney242 says FML
Today, while at a night club, I was wearing a brand new outfit that I absolutely loved. I was enjoying myself until I felt something wet drop onto my head and body from above. It was puke from a drunk guy in the V.I.P. section. FML [Link]
GraphJam » Two Extremes
Graph by: Jack Tagged: government , Line Graph , mustaches , totalitarian Share on Facebook
[Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Brilliant Gifts for the Hostess
You can do better than just buying another bottle of vino. [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I bought a rather unique shirt for my boyfriend, planning to give it to him for Christmas. He showed up wearing the same shirt. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What to do with that useless Christmas gift you're sure to get on Dec.25? Trade it in for a Whopper at Burger King [Spiffy]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » California police believe they have found the body of a woman who, tragically, will forever be remembered only as a former contestant on the reality show "Bridalplasty" [Followup]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Things and Stuff
Anchormen, chairs, dogs, flowers, and comets are things: If I have one anchorman and add another, I have two anchormen. My chair did not exist until it was assembled into that form. And if a comet hits Paraguay, it is no longer a comet. Helium, gravy, wood, music, and joy are stuff: If some helium escapes my balloon, it seems … [Link]
FMyLife » SadMom says FML
Today, I was told by a family member that if we come over on Christmas and my small children get upset or throw a fit, we will be asked to leave. I can't guarantee that my 2-year-old and 3-year-old won't have any meltdowns, so I guess we won't be spending Christmas with the rest of the family. FML [Link]
FMyLife » burrito kid says FML
Today, as I was taking the driver's test to get my license, I backed into a car. It belonged to the instructor sitting in my passenger seat. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 9 Money Resolutions to Make for 2017
Presented by Allstate. [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I went to my parents house to secretly collect all of their home videos and convert them to DVDs as a Christmas gift. Among them I found a sex tape my parents had made. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Thanks Santa says FML
Today, 3 weeks after leaving my job, buying a larger car and moving to Ohio so my boyfriend could be near his family, he secretly drove my car and all my belongings back across several states just to break up with me. This was completely out of the blue while I was home visiting family for Christmas. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 23 Funny Historical Letters to Santa
"I wish you would please bring me a typewriter and a drum and a doll dressed in a sailor suit so I can call it Raymond." [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 607: "OrnaMENTAL". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Remember how Listerine is supposed to cure the clap? You might want to read this before you go out and and buy an entire pallet to fill your bathtub with [Followup]
[link] [70 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Stevie says FML
Today, I kindly explained to a client that she had calculated her CD interest wrong. She kindly responded that, as a nurse, she would never give me medical treatment if I was involved in a car accident. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » And in today's Reviews of Public Art™: "A sculpture of a lion with a fishtail wearing a top hat in a town centre has been branded 'cultural vomit'" [Amusing]
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 6 De-Stressing Tips from Yoga and Barre Instructors
A few minutes is all you need to clear your mind and banish stress. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Brazilian firms receive 3.5 billion in fines for bribery, which is a record that Trump plans on breaking within the next 4 years [Cool]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Delta Airlines will now accept your word that you are a doctor. What if I'm not a doctor, but I do speak Jive? [Interesting]
[link] [99 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these stairs in such a manner that they lead to something more interesting [Photoshop]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Good news – the government has ruled that broadband internet is a basic service to all people of the nation, just like telephone service. Oh, I guess that's only good news if you're Canadian [Spiffy]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » LegallyBored says FML
Today, my roommate went away for the weekend so she could hook up with a guy from Tinder that she's never met. This wouldn't be a problem if we hadn't already made plans for my 18th birthday, which is also today. Here's to a night of Netflix with my dog. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Torn from the front page of the Bangor Daily: Lobster Man grateful for Presidential pardon. Florida man remains hopeful [Hero]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 3-year-old found in bug box, which apparently is not a good thing. Parents claim the kid went in there on her own. Cops not believing that story and have arrested nine people [Creepy]
[link] [124 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hunter S. Thompson arrested for driving away from police, bats [Amusing]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » North Pole predicted to warm 50 degrees above normal Thursday. You had to scrape your car window this morning, so it's all good [Scary]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
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