John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » California considers ban on lawyers farking their clients in the literal sense, figurative sense still OK [Interesting]

Sunday 27 November 23:51:50 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "My baby looks like Danny DeVito" [Amusing]

Sunday 27 November 22:38:14 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "What's more, if you hold a bowl Buddha-like while eating, you are psychologically more prone to mindfulness about your meal" [Facepalm]

Sunday 27 November 21:05:14 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [137 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Theme: Romance novels for Millennials [Photoshop]

Sunday 27 November 21:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you think this was bad, wait till the Dutch find out it was really rabbit season [Scary]

Sunday 27 November 20:13:22 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I guess it's illegal to shop at the same mall twice in Europe? [Strange]

Sunday 27 November 19:28:05 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sovereign citizens have some strange beliefs. Including the notion that Jesus created the X-Men [Strange]

Sunday 27 November 18:25:05 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oh my, Cupid, that's quite the package you're packing in this refreshed theatre mural (safe for workish) [Giggity]

Sunday 27 November 18:24:58 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The United States Postal Service would like to take this time to remind you it is still illegal to mail marijuana, but thanks you for the weed [Obvious]

Sunday 27 November 18:12:05 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch Chris Hadfield Explain the Sokol Space Suit

Sunday 27 November 17:00:00 UTC 2016

Including "the seal that keeps you alive." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In Canada, some people are losing patience with the pace of marijuana legalization. "We know how to sell pot. We know how to grow it. We know how to buy it, we know how to smoke it" [Obvious]

Sunday 27 November 16:19:43 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [144 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In Tennessee, somebody is $421 million richer [Spiffy]

Sunday 27 November 15:31:16 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man busted with $330,000 worth of weed wrapped like Christmas presents. Man that would have been a heck of a Christmas party [Asinine]

Sunday 27 November 15:08:16 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Survival Experiment

Sunday 27 November 14:50:05 UTC 2016

November 1961: As an experiment in survival, Portland radio announcer Bill Davis spent a week confined in a windowless fallout shelter with his family… and his mother-in-law.

They survived, although Davis's wife admitted, "There were problems."

One of the problems was that four days into the test an earthquake struck Portland, and the Davis family, cut off from communication, thought … [Link]

Weird Universe » The Hot Air Cure

Sunday 27 November 14:50:04 UTC 2016


Original ad here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop what these two are looking at [Photoshop]

Sunday 27 November 14:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Amazon's Best Black Friday Week Deals You Can Still Get

Sunday 27 November 14:00:00 UTC 2016

From the Smart Shopping Team… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: When you were on TV [CSB]

Sunday 27 November 14:00:00 UTC 2016

CSB [link] [191 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Failed Castro assassinations: A retrospective [Followup]

Sunday 27 November 13:49:10 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The snakes are gathering at state office buildings in Austin, Texas. Literally [Scary]

Sunday 27 November 13:22:16 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Increasing number of people living in cars at Aspen park-and-ride lot, deputies say [Sad]

Sunday 27 November 13:21:11 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [86 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » buttsmcgee says FML

Sunday 27 November 13:00:16 UTC 2016

Today, we finally got paperwork saying we were approved for a loan to buy a house! The only problem? It's not eligible for the county we live in. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » When We Go to Mars, How Will We Protect Martian Life From Us?

Sunday 27 November 13:00:00 UTC 2016

Life on Mars has yet to be found, but we're already making plans to protect it from us—and us from it. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old and Busted: The Elf on the Shelf. New Hotness 'Hipster' Nativity scene [Followup]

Sunday 27 November 12:54:56 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Taxpayers will be paying $3M/year rent for Trump's wife and son to stay in Trump Tower [Obvious]

Sunday 27 November 11:51:10 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [339 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Glow-in-the-Dark Mushrooms Are a Blacklight Poster Come to Life

Sunday 27 November 11:00:00 UTC 2016

Hello, 1996. [Link]

FMyLife » Firequeen says FML

Sunday 27 November 10:31:13 UTC 2016

Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dear Deidre, my beloved, sexy sister just told me she's pregnant. I was there for her when her boyfriend dumped her and it seemed completely natural to give her a cuddle to comfort her. But one night everything got out of hand. What do I do? [Fac

Sunday 27 November 10:10:11 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » OSHA states death of man killed in wood chipper could have been prevented by better training, not participating in kidnapping schemes [Obvious]

Sunday 27 November 9:01:10 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What's in Dry-Erase Markers?

Sunday 27 November 9:00:00 UTC 2016

What sorcery is this?! [Link]

FMyLife » SorrySnowWhite says FML

Sunday 27 November 8:42:17 UTC 2016

Today, I yelled at a new employee for violating the company's makeup policy which is minimum coverage. She had red lipstick, very dark drawn eyebrows, and foundation that made her look like a ghost. She took out a makeup wipe and used it then showed me it, only to reveal she doesn't wear any. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Researchers Find 400-Year-Old Dentures in Italy

Sunday 27 November 7:00:00 UTC 2016

They were made with real human teeth. [Link]

FMyLife » 4lphab3t4 says FML

Sunday 27 November 6:57:02 UTC 2016

Today, my neighbour almost ran over my little sister, and blamed it on his disability. What disability? He has no sense of smell. FML [Link]

Futility Closet » The Cornish Cliff Mystery

Sunday 27 November 6:35:20 UTC 2016

Police have chased two thieves to the Cornish coast. There they find that two sets of footprints depart the hard road and cross soft soil to the edge of a cliff, where they end. The cliff juts out 200 feet above sea-washed boulders. No one could survive a fall from this height, there is no way to descend the cliff, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Coming to you from chilly Juneau, Alaska, it's another round of Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker, starting at 9PM AKST/10PM PST [Live]

Sunday 27 November 5:57:27 UTC 2016

Live [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man wants to perform home circumcision on his 20-year-old son. Son decides to first test blade on dad's neck [Florida]

Sunday 27 November 5:07:49 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Add Charm to Your Home Improvement Jobs With Animal-Shaped Multi-Tools

Sunday 27 November 5:00:00 UTC 2016

Collect all four and your tool box will start looking like a zoo. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Do NOT drive drunk. I will find you. I will arrest you. I will make you listen to One Direction cover bands on the way to jail.' [Amusing]

Sunday 27 November 4:50:47 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rifle discharges at Montana gun show, injuring 2 [Fail]

Sunday 27 November 4:39:56 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [106 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » _kristaaxo says FML

Sunday 27 November 4:35:16 UTC 2016

Today, my boyfriend turned out to be a moron. Although he loves anal porn, he says gay sex is revolting. His reasoning? Because guys poop out of their buttholes. Apparently women don't. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman breaks fingers, delivers a baby, and puts Thanksgiving dinner on the table [Cool]

Sunday 27 November 3:41:57 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seattle to stop using convicts to clear homeless camps. In related news Seattle has been using convicts to clear homeless camps [Strange]

Sunday 27 November 2:30:14 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [66 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Crazy In-Laws says FML

Sunday 27 November 2:20:09 UTC 2016

Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want to stop the homeless from sleeping on your stoop? Install this handy anti-homeless slope to ensure they cannot rest comfortably [PSA]

Sunday 27 November 1:47:45 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [155 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently asking for sliced cheese in a CVS will get the cops called on you [Stupid]

Sunday 27 November 1:25:25 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [129 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Nicoleanne says FML

Sunday 27 November 1:13:20 UTC 2016

Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this pixelated couple [Photoshop]

Sunday 27 November 1:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police chief takes his own officer to task for his crappy parking skills. Of course people have a problem with this and say he should have been fighting crime instead [Amusing]

Sunday 27 November 0:29:24 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [24 comments] [Link]

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