John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » South African pastor under investigation for his admittedly unorthodox practice of spraying his congregants in the face with insecticide [Scary]

Tuesday 22 November 23:38:34 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Filling Facts About Turkeys

Tuesday 22 November 23:30:00 UTC 2016

4. Female turkeys don't gobble. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protip: If you kept naked photos of yourself on a flash drive, make sure your ex-wife doesn't have it [Florida]

Tuesday 22 November 23:11:54 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Newlyweds scammed out of $139,000 down payment on new home purchase. This is why you never buy a house without having an attorney to look out for your best interest. Oh, they had an attorney and he was also duped? [Scary]

Tuesday 22 November 22:46:44 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Disney Releases Free, 'Moana'-Themed Coding Game for Kids

Tuesday 22 November 22:21:59 UTC 2016

Learning to code can be intimidating, but Disney princesses help make the process more accessible. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: police are attempting to reunite a naked man with his owner. And by naked man, they mean a replica statue of Michaelangelo's David. Fark: They post a picture of him with his 'privates' blacked-out [Facepalm]

Tuesday 22 November 22:16:44 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Apple Will Hold a Black Friday Sale This Year

Tuesday 22 November 22:15:00 UTC 2016

The last time the company held a post-Thanksgiving shopping event was in 2014. [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » Now Shipping: Imploding Kittens

Tuesday 22 November 21:46:00 UTC 2016

Now Shipping: Imploding Kittens The first big expansion pack of Exploding Kittens is now shipping. It contains 20 game-changing cards, along with a human-sized cone of shame.View [Link]

Mental Floss » The Opening Lines of Dr. Seuss Books

Tuesday 22 November 21:38:16 UTC 2016

Take the quiz! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mass DOT shows why you should always double check your work, hire sign makers whose first language is English [Facepalm]

Tuesday 22 November 21:38:05 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Couple discovers 'In sickness and in health' also applies when the caterer brings salmonella to your wedding reception [Sick]

Tuesday 22 November 21:14:05 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this winding way [Photoshop]

Tuesday 22 November 21:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Editorialist: I hated Breaking Bad. Mad Men sucked. Game of Thrones bores me. And now I'm about to quit Westworld. Why do I have such a hard time seeing what everybody else likes in these terrible shows? [Facepalm]

Tuesday 22 November 20:50:05 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [227 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Cheetos Is Selling a $20,000 Luxury Jewelry Set

Tuesday 22 November 20:30:00 UTC 2016

Because your love for cheese snacks and high-end jewelry shouldn't be mutually exclusive. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Death investigation involving 'town bully' of Galena sets resort town on edge. Holy paladin, Heroes for Hire bid for job removing him [Asinine]

Tuesday 22 November 20:20:05 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Vintage Thanksgiving Side Dishes We Shouldn’t Bring Back

Tuesday 22 November 20:00:00 UTC 2016

If it involved mixing meat and cranberries with gelatin, it should stay in the past. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Haven't heard from Tila Tequila in a while. [Clicks on Tila Tequila story.] Hope we don't hear from Tila Tequila again for a while [Asinine]

Tuesday 22 November 19:50:04 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [140 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Winner of the 2016 World's Biggest Liar Competition

Tuesday 22 November 19:30:00 UTC 2016

Politicians and lawyers are banned from the contest because they are "too well versed to apply." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not to alarm you, but that 6.9 magnitude earthquake that occured in Japan on Tuesday was actually an aftershock from the 9.1 magnitude earthquake that happened 5 years ago [Followup]

Tuesday 22 November 19:20:05 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Togetherness

Tuesday 22 November 19:10:53 UTC 2016

Image: Wikimedia Commons Nearly everyone in Whittier, Alaska, lives under the same roof. The 14-story Begich Towers was built after World War II, and the building was converted to a condominium when the military withdrew. About 200 people live in 150 two- and three-bedroom apartments, and they can go weeks without leaving the building, which contains a post office, a grocery, … [Link]

Mental Floss » Control Your Credit Card Spending With a Service That Pays Your Bill as You Buy

Tuesday 22 November 19:00:00 UTC 2016

Services like Debitize can make your credit card more like a debit card, ensuring you don't spend more than you have. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Leon G. Billings, the architect of the Clean Air and Clean Water acts, dies at 78–probably from shame [Sad]

Tuesday 22 November 18:50:04 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How TB Grew Stronger and Spread Wider with the Collapse of the USSR

Tuesday 22 November 18:30:00 UTC 2016

A new study suggests that the breakup and subsequent turmoil allowed one TB strain to spread and evolve. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mystery solved: Kim Jong-un celebrates Festivus (Some Not safe for work images in sidebar) [Amusing]

Tuesday 22 November 18:20:05 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Who Was the Mysterious Babushka Lady at JFK’s Assassination?

Tuesday 22 November 18:15:00 UTC 2016

Conspiracy theories have abounded since that day, including ones surrounding an unknown woman wearing a head scarf. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Origins of 45,000 surnames revealed much to the chagrin of the Dickinson family [Interesting]

Tuesday 22 November 17:50:05 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [93 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Husband says FML

Tuesday 22 November 17:38:56 UTC 2016

Today, I asked my husband if he wanted to visit my parents for Thanksgiving. He choked on his own spit to avoid answering the question. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » While you wait for the turkey to thaw, here's a handy list of the major retailers who are screwing their workers out of Thanksgiving dinner again this year [Facepalm]

Tuesday 22 November 17:20:05 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [194 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » An Antioxidant Found in Wine May Help Women With Polycystic Ovary Syndrome

Tuesday 22 November 17:00:00 UTC 2016

Resveratrol, a humble antioxidant found in grapes, nuts, and berries, can significantly reduce the hormones that create hormone imbalances in women with PCOS, and improve insulin sensitivity. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Feeling left out after Nazism, racism and mumps make a comeback, whooping cough clears its throat and joins the party. Polio now on deck [Sick]

Tuesday 22 November 16:50:04 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » The Smell of The Donald

Tuesday 22 November 16:33:39 UTC 2016

In 2004, Donald Trump lent his name to a perfume — DONALD TRUMP: THE FRAGRANCE. Now that he's going to be President, that means he's the first U.S. President to have a perfume named after him. The stuff is no longer for sale, but if you really want some, there's plenty of it to be found on eBay.

The marketing … [Link]

Weird Universe » June Knight and Her Stripping Marionette

Tuesday 22 November 16:33:38 UTC 2016

Not sure why a stripper with June Knight's obvious qualifications should feel the need to add a puppet to her act. But I guess a gimmick made you stand out. [Link]

Mental Floss » You Have to See Tuesday's Black Friday Week Amazon Deals

Tuesday 22 November 16:31:46 UTC 2016

From the Smart Shopping Team… [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Peacock for Dinner

Tuesday 22 November 16:31:36 UTC 2016

Before the Turkey, There Was the Peacock. European harvest feasts had their own big, colorful, tasty bird.
*
The Transfermium Wars. It's Dubna vs. Berkeley in the science lab version of the Cold War.
*
These guys traveled all the way to Switzerland to throw basketballs. But it paid off when they landed a basket from 493 feet up and set … [Link]

Mental Floss » Name Each Doctor's Specialty

Tuesday 22 November 16:23:41 UTC 2016

Take the quiz! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You can now hunt deer with a semi-automatic rifle in Pennsylvania [Cool]

Tuesday 22 November 16:20:05 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [371 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » World's Largest Pac-Man May Cause Nostalgia Overload

Tuesday 22 November 16:00:00 UTC 2016

Pac-Man can now eat pellets the size of potatoes. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is why you don't try to pay a hooker with a boiled egg [Fail]

Tuesday 22 November 15:50:04 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Must-Have Facts About 'Jingle All the Way'

Tuesday 22 November 15:30:00 UTC 2016

The cult Christmas comedy had an interesting road to completion. [Link]

FMyLife » saracenslament says FML

Tuesday 22 November 15:27:10 UTC 2016

Today, my relationship with my family is so bad that when someone burst into my house without ringing the doorbell, my first assumption was, "Oh God I hope it's not my mum visiting!" rather than, "Oh God, it's a burglar!" It was actually my mother-in-law, and I was truly relieved. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » WWII fighter pilot flies one last mission alongside the original P-38 Lockheed Lightening he flew in the war. "I'm going on my last flight. As of last week I've been put in hospice" [Hero]

Tuesday 22 November 15:20:05 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nov. 22, 1963 [Sad]

Tuesday 22 November 14:50:04 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [191 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why did that Russian Navy MiG-29 crash? It ran out of gas while circling the carrier [Facepalm]

Tuesday 22 November 14:20:05 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » What Happens When You Don’t Train a New Manager

Tuesday 22 November 14:15:26 UTC 2016

HR clerk: He got so excited and he crapped all over himself.
Receptionist, laughing: Did Jim [manager] do that again?
Hr clerk: Uh, no, I was talking about my new puppy.
Receptionist: Oh, forget what I just said. Please forget! I was supposed to forget. Pearl, Mississippi Overheard by: Brain Dancing [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this backside [Photoshop]

Tuesday 22 November 14:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nothing to see here, just a deer driving a 4-wheeler down the highway [Amusing]

Tuesday 22 November 13:50:05 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 3 Recipes Using Ingredients You Can Forage in the Woods

Tuesday 22 November 13:30:00 UTC 2016

Need a Thanksgiving dish? Try your hand at cooking with nettles, wild mushrooms, or foraged walnuts. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you hit a deer with your car, make sure it's dead before you load it into the trunk [PSA]

Tuesday 22 November 13:20:05 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Origins of 10 Thanksgiving Traditions

Tuesday 22 November 13:07:00 UTC 2016

There's a lot more to Thanksgiving than just the turkey and the Pilgrims. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man accused of putting the UPS in upskirting [Asinine]

Tuesday 22 November 12:26:34 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Giving

Tuesday 22 November 12:15:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » 8 Ways to Score Amazing Cyber Monday Deals

Tuesday 22 November 12:12:00 UTC 2016

Find great deals without having to change out of your pajamas. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman who had sex with her dog walks away from prison sentence after telling judge how ruff this has made her life [Facepalm]

Tuesday 22 November 12:09:04 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Construct Adorable Cardboard Habitats for Your Cat With This Book

Tuesday 22 November 12:00:00 UTC 2016

You can even use the shipping box to build your next cat home. [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Brilliant Gifts for the Gardener in Your Life

Tuesday 22 November 11:30:00 UTC 2016

Gift ideas sure to plant a seed of gratitude. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Couple arrested for having sex in a McDonald's parking lot as 6-year-old watched. Don't they know that's what Burger King bathrooms are for? [Creepy]

Tuesday 22 November 11:27:57 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bus driver suffers fatal heart attack while driving on elevated roadway, has the presence of mind to slow the bus and tell his passengers to take over with his last breath [Hero]

Tuesday 22 November 10:21:50 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [32 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » children ain't pawns says FML

Tuesday 22 November 9:28:04 UTC 2016

Today, after discussing having our son's hair styled nicely for school, my ex returns him with his head shaved. I didn't realise bald was in style for 4-year-olds. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yo dawg, we heard you like pyramids, so we put a pyramid in your pyramid so you can sacrifice while you sacrifice [Interesting]

Tuesday 22 November 9:14:00 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Let Oscar-Winning Composer Hans Zimmer Teach You How to Score Movies

Tuesday 22 November 8:30:00 UTC 2016

Zimmer has written music for 'Gladiator,' 'Pirates of the Caribbean,' 'Inception,' and more. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guess the story based on these three clues: Woman in wheelchair, police, taser [Murica]

Tuesday 22 November 8:28:35 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Living with grandma while attending college. New hotness: Living with someone else's grandma while attending college [Interesting]

Tuesday 22 November 7:38:00 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’ Turkey Day Marathon Is Back

Tuesday 22 November 7:30:00 UTC 2016

It's back… [Link]

Futility Closet » Misc

Tuesday 22 November 6:50:29 UTC 2016

AGAMEMNON is made up of three consecutive palindromic triads. South Africa has three capital cities. In 1984, Newspeak is never spoken. A good licking is a bad licking. “A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.” — Oscar Wilde [Link]

Mental Floss » How to Open a Coconut Without Tools

Tuesday 22 November 6:30:00 UTC 2016

If you don't have a knife, you can still open that coconut with the help of a few sharp rocks. [Link]

Mental Floss » Everything Leaving Netflix in December

Tuesday 22 November 6:00:00 UTC 2016

Start streaming! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is there any way to truly defeat clickbait and fake news? Here comes the incredibly depressing science [Scary]

Tuesday 22 November 5:48:47 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: Franz Josef Dies

Tuesday 22 November 4:30:00 UTC 2016

Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 258th installment in the series. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » MSP Airport awarded title of having America's Best Bathroom. Maybe don't tell your toe-tapping political representatives [Silly]

Tuesday 22 November 3:50:05 UTC 2016

Silly [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Add 'thunderstorm asthma' to the list of stupid things people think they're getting sick from [Weird]

Tuesday 22 November 3:24:28 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seriously, what 12-year-old hasn't tried to light creamer on fire? [Stupid]

Tuesday 22 November 3:02:05 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The website most hated and despised by the Venezuelan government is run by 60-year-old Home Depot employee in Alabama [Strange]

Tuesday 22 November 2:53:23 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Now that he doesn't have to be politically correct anymore, President and Mrs. Obama come out as bi-coastal [Giggity]

Tuesday 22 November 2:14:05 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » American History X teacher to his 8th grade class: "Equality means treating everyone equally… like when you hang one black person, you have to hang them all, that's equality" [Creepy]

Tuesday 22 November 1:36:25 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 30 Stores That Will Remain Closed on Thanksgiving 2016

Tuesday 22 November 1:30:00 UTC 2016

Here are some of the companies that have decided not to open on Thanksgiving. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Keep Santa Cruz Weird", an update on the Pink Umbrella Man [Weird]

Tuesday 22 November 1:26:05 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this ancient writing device [Photoshop]

Tuesday 22 November 1:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You can thank O'Hare airport for the upcoming travel clusterfark [Followup]

Tuesday 22 November 0:38:05 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Multiple fatalities reported following elementary school bus crash in Tennessee [News]

Tuesday 22 November 0:36:20 UTC 2016

News [link] [141 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Musical World Map Showcases Songs About Every Country

Tuesday 22 November 0:30:00 UTC 2016

There are more geographically-based songs than you might realize. [Link]

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