John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Woman who sideswiped seventeen cars in I-5 rampage 'might have been having a psychotic episode,' according to police. Or maybe she just found out McDonald's wasn't bringing the McRib back in her area, I dunno [Scary]

Monday 21 November 23:50:05 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » President Obama 'not optimistic' about Syria's future. Also reportedly has observations about the current size of the Pope's hat, wetness of water [Obvious]

Monday 21 November 23:20:05 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Note to self: when I get married, make sure my secret lover doesn't gatecrash the wedding wearing the same dress as my bride [Awkward]

Monday 21 November 22:50:05 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Here's Which Thanksgiving Foods Are Allowed on a Plane

Monday 21 November 22:30:00 UTC 2016

Turkeys and pies are OK carry-ons, but you'll have to check alcohol, sauces, and condiments. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's how to eat as much food as humanly possible this Thanksgiving thanks to science [Amusing]

Monday 21 November 22:20:05 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pope Francis extends permission for priests to absolve women for the grave sin of abortion, though advises against handing out 'I confessed my abortion today' stickers [Interesting]

Monday 21 November 22:16:44 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Live coverage of the 7.3 earthquake and tsunami off the coast of Japan near Fukushima [NewsFlash]

Monday 21 November 22:14:53 UTC 2016

NewsFlash [link] [281 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Ways to Express Your Gratitude (and Reap the Benefits) This Thanksgiving

Monday 21 November 21:30:00 UTC 2016

Studies show that taking stock of the good things in your life can increase your well-being. [Link]

Mental Floss » Starling Nests Make Huge Feasts for Pigs, Snakes, Insects, and Turkeys

Monday 21 November 21:04:21 UTC 2016

Come one, come all. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this odd couple [Photoshop]

Monday 21 November 21:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Flying at Thanksgiving is just not worth it. It's far cheaper to declare your own holiday" [PSA]

Monday 21 November 20:50:04 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Artificial Intelligence Can Read Lips More Accurately Than People

Monday 21 November 20:30:00 UTC 2016

In a test between professional lip readers and an artificial intelligence program, the AI won—by a significant margin. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Plans for Otisburg are back on the drawing board [Scary]

Monday 21 November 20:20:05 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida man can't find 7-Eleven restroom, so he enters walk-in cooler and pees all over the Busch Light [Florida]

Monday 21 November 19:50:04 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Discover Seal-Like Prehistoric Predator

Monday 21 November 19:30:00 UTC 2016

The animal lived off the coast of what is now Washington state about 10 million years ago and probably fished like seals do, relying on the power of its oversized eyes to track its prey. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former Greek president Constantine Stephanopoulos nolongeramongus [Sad]

Monday 21 November 19:17:22 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I write fake news. This is what works in trolling people and making them believe in a lie" [PSA]

Monday 21 November 19:14:33 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [130 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hey, neat tattoo. Does it mean anything? I mean, other than the fact that you're 27% less likely than me to get a promotion [Advice]

Monday 21 November 19:01:41 UTC 2016

Advice [link] [186 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Seattle Shelter Is Giving Away Free Black Cats on Black Friday

Monday 21 November 19:00:00 UTC 2016

It's an animal shelter's version of a doorbuster. [Link]

Futility Closet » Please Help!

Monday 21 November 18:59:24 UTC 2016

I spend hundreds of hours each month researching and writing Futility Closet, and that effort is supported entirely by the readers. If you value this site, please consider making a contribution to help keep it going. You can make a one-time donation on our Support Us page, or you can pledge a monthly contribution on Patreon to receive bonus posts … [Link]

Mental Floss » The Facebook App May Be Draining Your Phone’s Battery

Monday 21 November 18:48:50 UTC 2016

Android users report a 20 percent boost in battery life after deleting the app. [Link]

Mental Floss » Amazon's Monday Deals Start Black Friday Week With a Bang

Monday 21 November 18:48:49 UTC 2016

Bose headphones, bargain Bluetooth speakers, Rachael Ray cookware, and much more [Link]

Mental Floss » Searching for a McRib Sandwich? There's an App for That

Monday 21 November 18:48:48 UTC 2016

Ring in the holiday season with the taste of barbecue sauce on your lips. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Job interview not going well? Just steal the company president's wallet, it's not like they have your name and address on the resume you left behind [Dumbass]

Monday 21 November 18:35:01 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Famous People Supposedly Killed by Food or Drink

Monday 21 November 18:30:00 UTC 2016

Don't be surprised if this makes dinner seem a little ominous. [Link]

FMyLife » dieders says FML

Monday 21 November 18:26:53 UTC 2016

Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Everything New Coming to Netflix in December

Monday 21 November 18:00:00 UTC 2016

Between the holidays and all that vacation time you’ve got to use before you lose it, December is a wonderful time for getting cozy on the sofa and turning your day into a movie marathon. [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Spy on Whale Sharks by Testing the Water They Swim In

Monday 21 November 17:31:00 UTC 2016

The new technique allows researchers to monitor the genetic health of endangered shark populations without ever touching them. [Link]

Mental Floss » Bright Christmas: Meet the Real-Life Griswolds Behind an Incredible Holiday Light Display

Monday 21 November 17:30:00 UTC 2016

Joe Drelick spends eight weeks hanging over 35,000 lights and 37 interactive displays for his Harleysville, Pennsylvania home. You're welcome. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: It's got what plants crave [FarkBlog]

Monday 21 November 17:24:04 UTC 2016

FarkBlog [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Marlboro Beer

Monday 21 November 17:00:34 UTC 2016

In the early 1970s, there was briefly such a thing as Marlboro Beer (trademark registration). Philip Morris (having just acquired Miller Brewing) figured that many people like to smoke as they drink beer, so surely a beer that shared the same brand name as their best-selling cigarette would be a success. But apparently test marketing indicated otherwise. So that was … [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Hardboiled Facts About 'Cool Hand Luke'

Monday 21 November 16:30:00 UTC 2016

Paul Newman was nominated for the Best Actor Oscar as Luke. The movie's writer thought he was miscast. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Things We Know About Season 2 of ‘The Crown’

Monday 21 November 15:56:51 UTC 2016

When does ‘The Crown’ Season 2 come out? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brit police 'gobsmacked' as medieval 'bommy-knocker' turned in during weapons amnesty [Weird]

Monday 21 November 15:50:05 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [280 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Things You Might Not Know About Advent

Monday 21 November 15:22:00 UTC 2016

There's more to it than chocolate-filled calendars. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Know what else is back in style besides Nazism and racism? Mumps [Sick]

Monday 21 November 15:20:05 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [110 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous1221 says FML

Monday 21 November 15:20:02 UTC 2016

Today, I was told by the guy I've liked for years that he would date me if he was straight. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Crow Attacks on Humans Are on the Rise in Australia

Monday 21 November 15:00:00 UTC 2016

They picked up the nasty behavior from magpies. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Um, not to worry anyone, but why is Mount St Helens in the wrong place? [Interesting]

Monday 21 November 14:50:05 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here are the most iconic landmarks in every state. Come for the Golden Gate Bridge, stay for the Taliesin [Interesting]

Monday 21 November 14:20:05 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [219 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » So on My Next Evaluation, You Can't Write “Has No Goals”

Monday 21 November 14:06:30 UTC 2016

Fellow intern: I think my goal for the next eight months in this company is to become a professional foosball player. Yaletown
Canadia [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Her Majesty and these construction workers [Photoshop]

Monday 21 November 14:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 20 Words in a Cornucopia of Fall Harvest Etymologies

Monday 21 November 14:00:00 UTC 2016

Feast on the bounty of these seasonal word origins. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Marauding Trump supporters confuse Hamilton, the Musical and Hamilton, the City. Hilarity ensues [Dumbass]

Monday 21 November 13:44:00 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [239 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Turkey Cooking Tips from Real Chefs

Monday 21 November 12:59:00 UTC 2016

When it comes to cooking a juicy, flavorful turkey, America’s chefs aren’t afraid to fly in the face of tradition. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » World's largest Christmas maze opening in Vancouver. Little boy last seen running inside pursued by man with axe [Spiffy]

Monday 21 November 12:56:00 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 130: The Unlikely Ultramarathoner

Monday 21 November 12:51:46 UTC 2016

Image: Wikimedia Commons
Australia’s Westfield ultramarathon had a surprise entrant in 1983: A 61-year-old potato farmer named Cliff Young joined a field of elite professional runners for the 500-mile race from Sydney to Melbourne. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll describe Young’s fortunes in the race and the heart, tenacity, and humor that endeared him to a … [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Thanks

Monday 21 November 12:45:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » Cook Your Way Through the Land of Ooo With the 'Adventure Time' Cookbook

Monday 21 November 12:30:00 UTC 2016

Bacon pancakes, making bacon pancakes. [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Brilliant Gifts for the 'Harry Potter' Fan in Your Life

Monday 21 November 12:00:00 UTC 2016

Here's what to get your favorite magic-loving muggle. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rhett Butler sues after his genitals are burned in a mid-flight coffee spill. Unfortunately, there was no one aboard the plane who knew nothin' bout birthin' no babies or savin' no penises [Interesting]

Monday 21 November 11:18:48 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New weather satellite named GOES-R launched into space. To be followed next year by ZUU-L [Cool]

Monday 21 November 11:14:08 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bull in a 'gina shop, Pope plans to unseat the Chicago Cubs as NLDS Champions, and the inventor of RAM dies at 1100010: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/13 – 11/19 [FarkBlog]

Monday 21 November 11:10:02 UTC 2016

FarkBlog [link] [0 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Meet the Puggles

Monday 21 November 11:00:00 UTC 2016

Start a wonderful week with these wonderful links! [Link]

Weird Universe » Mystery Illustration 33

Monday 21 November 10:50:00 UTC 2016

Was this structure ever built? And if so, what was its purpose?

The answer is here.

And after the jump. [Link]

GraphJam » Periodic?

Monday 21 November 10:21:53 UTC 2016

Chemistry - 8991043072 Graph by: (via ruinedchildhood) Tagged: Chemistry Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Phil's Life

Monday 21 November 10:21:13 UTC 2016

Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: bill muray , ground hog day , Movie Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's not really a holiday parade unless there's a pole dancing entry [Amusing]

Monday 21 November 9:07:42 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » For Your Next Vacation, Take a Pop Culture-Inspired Road Trip

Monday 21 November 9:00:00 UTC 2016

If you’re a pop culture junkie with a thirst for the open road, consider driving to one of the attractions featured in the infographic below. UK-based travel broker AttractionTix located the real-life filming locations of movies and TV shows including Friends, Harry Potter, Gilmore Girls, and Game of Thrones. To make the journey easy for fans, they listed the addresses … [Link]

Mental Floss » Next Summer, Take a Pop Culture-Inspired Road Trip

Monday 21 November 8:59:00 UTC 2016

Winter might go by faster if you start planning your summer vacation a little early. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want to retire to a Caribbean paradise? Just ask the Canadian Porn King [Weird]

Monday 21 November 8:44:00 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [42 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » boyBYE says FML

Monday 21 November 8:24:57 UTC 2016

Today, when my ex said he wanted to be friends, what he meant was that he wanted me to help him hook up with 18-year-olds. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For the love of god – the sheriff is using water cannons on the Standing Rock protestors in 20 degree weather [Sick]

Monday 21 November 7:28:26 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [314 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » thisisstupid_17 says FML

Monday 21 November 7:22:40 UTC 2016

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Toys R Us pulls Tonka Ride On Dump Truck after it appears to be made by Samsung [Scary]

Monday 21 November 7:06:43 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Take a Virtual Tour of the Real Hogwarts Library

Monday 21 November 7:00:00 UTC 2016

Unfortunately you won't find a copy of "Quidditch Through the Ages" in these stacks. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida man finally lives his dream of surfing off coast of California. Immediately runs into pier, dies [Florida]

Monday 21 November 6:58:00 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Common Thanksgiving Hazards and How to Avoid Them

Monday 21 November 6:00:00 UTC 2016

Presented by Allstate. [Link]

FMyLife » Murphs_Law says FML

Monday 21 November 5:09:14 UTC 2016

Today, my crazy downstairs neighbor was yet again fighting with her boyfriend by slamming every door. When this didn't work, she went downstairs to fight with his grill. She wheeled it to the end of the driveway and pushed it over. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A mile-high skyscraper built on reclaimed land in a country prone to typhoons and earthquakes. What could possibly go wrong? [Obvious]

Monday 21 November 4:47:06 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [104 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » broke says FML

Monday 21 November 2:44:41 UTC 2016

Today, I paid $125 to get my car back after it was towed. Yesterday, I bought the car. When I got it to my apartment, the office wasn't open, so I couldn't get a parking decal. The same office that towed my car while they were still closed. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » St. Louis facing epidemic of residents realizing they live in St. Louis [Sad]

Monday 21 November 2:42:00 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » News of the Weird (November 20, 2016)

Monday 21 November 2:07:38 UTC 2016

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M502, November 20, 2016
Copyright 2016 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

While "democracy" in most of America means electing representatives to run government, in San Francisco it also on November 8th expected voters to decide 43 often vague, densely-worded "issues" that, according to critics, could better be handled by the professionals who are, … [Link]

Mental Floss » The New York Public Library's Secret Apartments

Monday 21 November 2:00:00 UTC 2016

Shoveling coal and living above the library used to be a thing in New York. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Goat yoga [Facepalm]

Monday 21 November 1:37:25 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Researchers conclude Vikings became Raiders due to shortage of single women, huge signing bonuses from Al Davis [Interesting]

Monday 21 November 1:31:57 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these root vegetables [Photoshop]

Monday 21 November 1:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » thismustbewhyivestrivedtobesmart says FML

Monday 21 November 0:16:19 UTC 2016

Today, while on vacation, my brother asked a native of the area for help. Once he got it, he thanked them with "muchos gracias" in the best Spanish accent he could do. We're in Japan. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Now that's a gingerbread house [Cool]

Monday 21 November 0:01:49 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [23 comments] [Link]

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