John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » AR-15s without pesky background checks or waiting periods? Oh, my, no, that would be illegal. Say, wanna buy a kit of startlingly rifle-shaped untraceable pieces? [Scary]

Tuesday 15 November 23:50:04 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [206 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Must-See Holiday Horror Movies

Tuesday 15 November 23:45:00 UTC 2016

Krampus has got nothing on The Gingerdead Man. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Try to remember that the Secret Service also reads Twitter [Advice]

Tuesday 15 November 23:40:44 UTC 2016

Advice [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Browns fan has applied for a parade if team has perfect 0-16 season. Team spokesman, when asked, says, "I really don't have anything to say about it" [Amusing]

Tuesday 15 November 23:40:05 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sav(i)or this one: It's Jack T. Chick's final tract [Sad]

Tuesday 15 November 23:14:04 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [152 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tinder adds 40 new gender options,to allow the inclusion of trans and other sexual identifiers, so now everyone can swipe right when drunk enough [Spiffy]

Tuesday 15 November 22:50:04 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [227 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oprah Winfrey tries to explain positive Donald Trump, Obama tweet. "I was still completely hammered from the bender I went on after the election" surprisingly not the answer [Followup]

Tuesday 15 November 22:40:05 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » PA is leaving the stone age as governor signs bill that will allow six packs to be sold at beer distributors [Hero]

Tuesday 15 November 22:20:05 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Five helpful tips to keep in mind while having sex in the 80's. Shouldn't we have heard about this back then? [Interesting]

Tuesday 15 November 22:08:31 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I can't imagine why anyone in "middle America" would think Ivy League kids are out-of-touch elitists [Facepalm]

Tuesday 15 November 21:50:04 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [228 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Surprising Facts About Figure Skating

Tuesday 15 November 21:45:00 UTC 2016

Presented by GEICO. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who steals computers from a soup kitchen? [Sad]

Tuesday 15 November 21:40:44 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russians stoke the coals of the aircraft carrier Admiral Kuznetsov with SU-33 Flanker jets as massive offensive to heat Syria before the winter begins [Interesting]

Tuesday 15 November 21:16:44 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [87 comments] [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » Things are about to get hairy

Tuesday 15 November 21:08:50 UTC 2016

Things are about to get hairyView [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Seek Your Help to Photograph Another Sun's 'Pale Blue Dot'

Tuesday 15 November 21:01:48 UTC 2016

Project Blue is an effort by a group of scientists, engineers, and space organizations to launch a small telescope into space with the singular goal of directly imaging in visible light (i.e. the light we see with our own eyes) an Earth-like planet. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this sighting in church [Photoshop]

Tuesday 15 November 21:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » New German Program Makes Reusable Coffee Cups More Convenient

Tuesday 15 November 21:00:00 UTC 2016

A new initiative in Hamburg, Germany, offers cafe patrons a reusable cup for a refundable deposit of less than $2. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Exhibit A on why you should never spend as much for an engagement ring as you would for a starter house [Awkward]

Tuesday 15 November 20:50:04 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [115 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » ‘Spirited Away’ Is Returning to Theaters Next Month

Tuesday 15 November 20:45:00 UTC 2016

It has been a very good week for Hayao Miyazaki fans. [Link]

Mental Floss » Shakespearean Theater Excavation Sheds Light on the Staging of ‘Henry V’

Tuesday 15 November 20:30:00 UTC 2016

The theater's notable shape may have influenced the play. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here are the weirdest things that have ever shut down highways, from lost robots to 20 tonnes of spilled spaghetti sauce to Don the Sheepdog, who decided one day he'd like to drive himself to the steak store (pics) [Amusing]

Tuesday 15 November 20:20:04 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Hirsute Alternatives to Bigfoot

Tuesday 15 November 20:15:00 UTC 2016

Get your yowies, agogwes, yetis, and mogollons right here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Billionaire oil baron uses a gold-plated spray gun to make it rain at his brother's wedding (pics, etc) [Cool]

Tuesday 15 November 19:50:04 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [46 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Enslaved says FML

Tuesday 15 November 19:47:54 UTC 2016

Today, I told my long-distance friend about the flooding in Florida due to the Supermoon. He's a Flat Earther and despite proof, denies the coincidence because he believes the moon and gravity aren't what we're taught. FML [Link]

FMyLife » RosaAnela says FML

Tuesday 15 November 19:47:53 UTC 2016

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to add my crush on Snapchat. He thought it would be a good idea to block me. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Banana breaks up with Orange after violent exchange [Strange]

Tuesday 15 November 19:44:05 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » See Someone Suffering a Mental Health Crisis? This App Is an Alternative to 911

Tuesday 15 November 19:30:00 UTC 2016

Concrn is currently available for use in San Francisco's Tenderloin District. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Historic anchor to be pulled from Detroit River. Well, once Detroit goes sailing away out to sea, don't say I didn't warn you [Misc]

Tuesday 15 November 19:14:05 UTC 2016

Misc [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » You Need to See Tuesday's Top Amazon Deals

Tuesday 15 November 19:03:27 UTC 2016

Routers, embroidery machines, griddles, and much more! [Link]

Mental Floss » How to Get the Most From a Counteroffer

Tuesday 15 November 18:30:00 UTC 2016

When you land a new job offer and your current gig comes back to you with more money or a better title, what do you do? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: Bluetooth Sport Earbuds. Sweatproof wireless music listening device. Special features also include volume control and battery indicator. (Sponsored Link) [Plug]

Tuesday 15 November 18:29:16 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [0 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The last U.S. presidential yacht has been sold for $0. While checking out the yacht, the new owners discovered a family of raccoons. Ach du lieber [Strange]

Tuesday 15 November 18:20:05 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Tips from Famous Authors to Help You Finally Write That Novel

Tuesday 15 November 18:15:00 UTC 2016

Presented by GEICO. [Link]

Mental Floss » Brutal Letter Written By John Lennon to Paul McCartney Post-Breakup Goes to Auction

Tuesday 15 November 18:00:00 UTC 2016

The cringeworthy artifact is expected to sell for $20,000. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "F*** you. I'm not paying anything." Enjoy the soup [Strange]

Tuesday 15 November 17:50:04 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Phantom Big Cats Stalking the UK

Tuesday 15 November 17:29:11 UTC 2016

Are they Ice Age remnants, escaped exotic pets, or just scary stories? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Important safety tip: If your lawyer insists on hypnotizing you each time you meet, he might not be on the up and up [Facepalm]

Tuesday 15 November 17:20:05 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Naturalists Who Died in the Field

Tuesday 15 November 17:15:00 UTC 2016

Countless scientists, naturalists, conservationists, and support staff have died in the pursuit of knowledge that could protect vulnerable places and species, and enable people to live safer, healthier lives. [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Say Bird Poop Helps Cool the Arctic

Tuesday 15 November 17:01:00 UTC 2016

Gases produced by huge quantities of seabird guano contribute modestly to cloud formation, thus helping lower temperatures. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The last mall arcade in Los Angeles is closing its doors. Game over [Sad]

Tuesday 15 November 16:50:04 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [294 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Freezing Facts About the Arctic's Ecosystem

Tuesday 15 November 16:32:47 UTC 2016

7. Fish that live in the Arctic can produce their own antifreeze. [Link]

Mental Floss » Upgrade Your Wi-Fi Network on the Cheap With This Bargain

Tuesday 15 November 16:25:06 UTC 2016

Today's Deal of the Day can fix your wi-fi dead spots and lower your utility bills. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boston prepares to receive its annual $250,000 gift from the taxpayers of Canada. Merry Frickin' Christmas eh [Facepalm]

Tuesday 15 November 16:20:05 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Answer These 30 General Knowledge Questions

Tuesday 15 November 16:17:29 UTC 2016

All the answers begin with 'T.' [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Forgotten Thanksgiving Dishes

Tuesday 15 November 16:15:00 UTC 2016

Would you like some onion sauce with that eel? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Over the centuries, people have tossed so many pennies at the grave of Benjamin Franklin that his gravestone is now cracked. It could be the normal effect of time and weather on stone, but let's say it was pennies to make it interesting [Weird]

Tuesday 15 November 15:50:04 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » The Connection

Tuesday 15 November 15:48:50 UTC 2016

Unless you're a film buff you probably haven't heard of Shirley Clarke's 1961 movie The Connection. It was an experimental film, purporting to be actual footage of a group of heroin junkies waiting in an apartment for their dealer ("the connection") to show up. Though, of course, the supposed junkies were all actors, and the film was scripted.

But the … [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Busy Signal

Tuesday 15 November 15:35:09 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canada, long thought of as America's loyal hat, has put in a bid to become America's back-stabbing Elvis wig by attempting to lure four key states to join their pretend country [Murica]

Tuesday 15 November 15:20:05 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [390 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just so we're all on the same page with this one, you can't paint your own disabled parking spot on the street outside your house (pics) [Fail]

Tuesday 15 November 14:50:04 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 14 Parlor Games to Bring Back This Holiday Season (Plus One You Definitely Shouldn’t)

Tuesday 15 November 14:45:00 UTC 2016

Presented by GEICO. [Link]

Mental Floss » Hot Wheels Enthusiast Shows Off His $1 Million Collection

Tuesday 15 November 14:30:00 UTC 2016

His most expensive toy car is worth $150,000. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual headline: Bondage club operates near pre-school, church; works as a non-profit [Giggity]

Tuesday 15 November 14:16:03 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this expensive new boat [Photoshop]

Tuesday 15 November 14:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Delicious History of the Nation's Oldest Chinese-American Restaurant

Tuesday 15 November 14:00:00 UTC 2016

The Pekin Noodle Parlor in Butte, Montana has thrived since 1911. [Link]

Overheard In The Office » These Guys Apologize to All Their Colleagues Every Day

Tuesday 15 November 13:52:05 UTC 2016

Retirement aged worker #1: Hi, little buddy.
Retirement aged worker #2: I'm not your little buddy!
Retirement aged worker #1: I know you're not! You're an old goat!
Retirement aged worker #2, thrusting pelvis towards #1: If I'm a goat, then suck it and get some milk! Naval Base
Point Mugu, California Overheard by: bubbles [Link]

Mental Floss » Read 'Em And Reap: 15 Notable National Book Award Winners

Tuesday 15 November 13:45:00 UTC 2016

Think of them as the Oscars for books. [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch the Shockwave Caused by This Hammer Breaking a Mirror in Slow Motion

Tuesday 15 November 13:30:00 UTC 2016

The speed, movement, and chaos of everyday events are sometimes impossible to appreciate with the naked eye. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Family saved after being trapped by the earthquake in New Zealand [Followup]

Tuesday 15 November 12:56:03 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Ways to Upgrade Your Peanut Butter Sandwich

Tuesday 15 November 12:45:00 UTC 2016

Presented by GEICO. [Link]

Mental Floss » Busy Signal

Tuesday 15 November 12:15:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beer Advent Calendar. That is all [Cool]

Tuesday 15 November 12:10:03 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Keep Phones Charged With an Adorable Animal Companion

Tuesday 15 November 12:00:00 UTC 2016

These cat and dog companions will keep your phone charged, and look adorable while doing it. [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Female Mathematicians Whose Accomplishments Add Up

Tuesday 15 November 11:45:00 UTC 2016

Their world-altering contributions include making hospitals safer, laying the groundwork for the computer, and advancing space flight. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Help I can't stop running down these steps. Oops, protestor [Murica]

Tuesday 15 November 11:43:18 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [217 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Jersey policeman pulls a Pee Wee and saves all animals from burning animal hospital [Hero]

Tuesday 15 November 11:20:20 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [35 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » theuglyone says FML

Tuesday 15 November 11:09:33 UTC 2016

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for a girl he met through me. I shouldn't feel bad. Apparently, she's exactly like me, only much prettier. FML [Link]

FMyLife » moose says FML

Tuesday 15 November 11:09:32 UTC 2016

Today, I bought myself a new perfume. Now, there's a sulky husband lying next to me in bed who can't get it up because I smell like his mum. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Silverfeathery says FML

Tuesday 15 November 11:09:30 UTC 2016

Today, I was making out with a guy in his car, when we decided we needed a minute of fresh air. We stepped out, only to completely lock ourselves out, with our phones and the keys inside. We had to smash a window. FML [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Tuesday 15 November 11:03:55 UTC 2016

ask,directions,homeless,mom,venn diagram Graph by: sugarparrot Tagged: ask , directions , homeless , mom , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

FMyLife » Geese Ahoy says FML

Tuesday 15 November 10:30:41 UTC 2016

Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. … [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Where Cheese Curls Came From

Tuesday 15 November 10:30:00 UTC 2016

Another great day, another great bunch of links! [Link]

Weird Universe » Fashion 2000

Tuesday 15 November 10:28:00 UTC 2016

Interestingly, I think the predictions from farther away from the year 2000 were a bit more accurate than those that were closer!

[Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Throaty Facts About Vocal Cords

Tuesday 15 November 9:45:00 UTC 2016

They may just save your life. [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Ways to Give Back This Holiday Season

Tuesday 15 November 8:45:00 UTC 2016

Presented by GEICO. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Hidden Wonders of Our World's Oceans

Tuesday 15 November 8:30:00 UTC 2016

Travel 10,000 meters down—far beyond where colossal squid and viperfish roam. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We're pretty generous giving out our national ID numbers [Interesting]

Tuesday 15 November 8:19:26 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Futuristic Design Allows Homes to Rise on Stilts During a Flood

Tuesday 15 November 8:00:00 UTC 2016

A UK developer is creating homes that can be elevated as needed. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ashland County, Ohio stakes its claim to the Guinness record for the largest barbecue [Sad]

Tuesday 15 November 7:52:39 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Old-Fashioned Ways of Keeping Time

Tuesday 15 November 7:45:00 UTC 2016

Humans once had to rely on shadows from the sun, the melting of a candle, or even the smells of incense to find the time. [Link]

Futility Closet » Shifting Areas

Tuesday 15 November 6:45:16 UTC 2016

This square of 8 × 8 = 64 square units can apparently be reassembled into a rectangle of 5 × 13 = 65 square units: This paradox is described in W.W. Rouse Ball’s 1892 Mathematical Recreations and Essays; it seems to have been published first in 1868 in Zeitschrift für Mathematik und Physik. In 1938 the Rockefeller Foundation’s Warren Weaver … [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch Crystals Form in Front of Your Eyes

Tuesday 15 November 6:30:00 UTC 2016

A time-lapse photographer showcases the beauty of chemistry. [Link]

Mental Floss » Back to School: 15 Apps to Up Your Smarts

Tuesday 15 November 5:45:00 UTC 2016

Learning doesn't have to be confined to a classroom. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thanks to global outrage, Pizza the polar bear released from his shopping mall prison, will move to ocean park in North China [Followup]

Tuesday 15 November 5:05:01 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alien-hunters in Peru are in a frenzy over a street light, similar street lights have also been spotted in other parts of the country [Interesting]

Tuesday 15 November 4:50:55 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This Denver veteran volunteers his time to ensure no soldier dies alone. "He sits at the doorway to death, ushering his brothers through whatever portal separates us from the world we know and the uncertainty that comes next" [Cool]

Tuesday 15 November 4:48:57 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old news: Trump born June 16, 1946. Great Fark-ready headline: As Donald Trump turns 70, astrology reveals his Uranus problem [Amusing]

Tuesday 15 November 4:24:33 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Omg … moo … itigbs … ttyl … moo [Interesting]

Tuesday 15 November 3:50:05 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The credit card companies want you to waive your rights to sue them [Unlikely]

Tuesday 15 November 3:10:05 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Driver with 17 prior convictions for driving with a suspended license caught once again. According to the police, "Maybe the 18th time is the charm." Yeah, I am real certain he learned his lesson this time [Dumbass]

Tuesday 15 November 3:03:25 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lawyer convicted of selling fake Viagra. Will do hard time [Florida]

Tuesday 15 November 2:42:50 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Michigan police officer gets his geography wrong while trying to make the South rise again [Facepalm]

Tuesday 15 November 2:42:27 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Anti-Trump protestors, Marines celebrating Corps birthday by pub crawl collide in Ybor City. Hilarity almost ensues [Florida]

Tuesday 15 November 2:30:05 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch the Lost Soup Sequence From 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs'

Tuesday 15 November 2:30:00 UTC 2016

You haven't seen the Disney classic as it was originally intended. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Japan debates whether university beauty pageants are shining example of student-run and student-owned contributions to local cultural festivals, or just cheap way to get college girls to flash some skin and start their TV-celebrity careers [Weird]

Tuesday 15 November 1:53:27 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "You guys lost, get over it," says group waving Confederate flags [Ironic]

Tuesday 15 November 1:50:05 UTC 2016

Ironic [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » University professors demand that its president refrain from quoting the university's racist, slave-owning founder [Facepalm]

Tuesday 15 November 1:49:26 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Thanksgiving Cupcakes

Tuesday 15 November 1:30:00 UTC 2016

Cupcakes are for every occasion! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fabulous Floridian feloniously flinging fettuccine following fantastic fellatio for/from fellas [Dumbass]

Tuesday 15 November 1:27:26 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » With record 200 million singles, China has entered fourth wave of singledom. "A significant portion of the single population in China freely spend on luxury items, as well as on entertainment such as going to bars and karaoke parlors" [Obviou

Tuesday 15 November 1:17:24 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pastor tells grieving husband his wife suffered a miscarriage because of his porn addiction [Sick]

Tuesday 15 November 1:10:05 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this prepper [Photoshop]

Tuesday 15 November 1:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Real news reporting may be figuratively dead, but Gwen Ifill is literally dead [Sad]

Tuesday 15 November 0:30:05 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [96 comments] [Link]

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