John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Group representing victims of apartment gas explosion in Silver Spring, MD, announce a "major announcement" regarding their clients. Gosh, I wonder what it could be. Chess tournament? Ice cream social? LARP outing? What do you guys think? [Ob

Wednesday 2 November 23:38:05 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Scottish Grandfather With 20 Jobs Named 'Britain's Hardest-Working Man'

Wednesday 2 November 23:11:18 UTC 2016

Billy Muir, 67, works as a sheep farmer, firefighter, electrician, garbage collector, and more. [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Amazing Facts About The Pentagon

Wednesday 2 November 23:00:00 UTC 2016

The Pentagon, home to the U.S. Department of Defense, is a remarkable building—and has been since ground was broken on its Arlington, Virginia site 75 years ago. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lawyer sues Popeyes after choking his chicken [Asinine]

Wednesday 2 November 22:50:05 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'm no expert on firearms, but I'm positive this is not how you teach gun safety [Facepalm]

Wednesday 2 November 22:20:06 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [124 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » We Eat a Lot More When We’re Tired

Wednesday 2 November 22:00:00 UTC 2016

Unsurprisingly, we do not exercise more to make up for it. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ex-Marine Confesses To Strangling Woman While On Witness Stand. I thought they had bailiffs to prevent that kind of thing [Scary]

Wednesday 2 November 21:50:06 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gas prices may jump due to pipeline fire: EVERYBODY PANIC [Followup]

Wednesday 2 November 21:20:06 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 4 Tips for Rocking Your Self-Assessment

Wednesday 2 November 21:00:00 UTC 2016

What’s more awkward than a performance review at work? The self-appraisal process that precedes it, of course. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Atheists petition against SPLC's ruling against atheists against Islamic extremists labeling them "anti-Islamic extremists," which makes the atheists anti-anti-anti-Islamic extremist extremists [Weird]

Wednesday 2 November 20:55:38 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [154 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves / Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: / All mimsy were the borogoves, / And the mome raths outgrabe. Possibly, because THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread, Mome Rath edition [CSB]

Wednesday 2 November 20:21:21 UTC 2016

CSB [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man suspected of killing two Iowa cops was removed from a football game for waving a Confederate flag…also referred to as the "get out of jail free" flag by the Bundy brothers and their supporters [Followup]

Wednesday 2 November 20:20:05 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [142 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Employees Spend Less Than 40 Percent of the Workday on Actual Work

Wednesday 2 November 20:06:41 UTC 2016

Meetings are a huge time-waster. [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Do Criminals Go “On The Lam”?

Wednesday 2 November 20:06:40 UTC 2016

Call us mint jelly … [Link]

Mental Floss » Archaeologists Find 49,000-Year-Old Artifacts in Australia’s Interior

Wednesday 2 November 20:06:39 UTC 2016

The cave where the artifacts were found might be the oldest archaeological site in Australia’s dry southern interior. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this animated political supporter [Photoshop]

Wednesday 2 November 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Coral and Algae Have Been Friends for 212 Million Years

Wednesday 2 November 20:00:00 UTC 2016

Analysis of coral skeletons from the Late Triassic period shows that the corals were already involved in a symbiotic relationship with dinoflagellate algae even then. [Link]

Mental Floss » How You Sleep May Be Genetic

Wednesday 2 November 19:55:00 UTC 2016

Your insomnia, need for extra-long slumber, and the number of dreams you have might be written into your genetic code. [Link]

Mental Floss » How Chipmunks and Striped Mice Got Their Adorable Stripes

Wednesday 2 November 19:45:00 UTC 2016

Scientists have found the genetic origin of stripes in chipmunks and African mice. [Link]

FMyLife » throwinguptears says FML

Wednesday 2 November 19:27:21 UTC 2016

Today, after $87, waiting five months and making sure everything was perfect, I was ready to go see my favorite comedian live. I got the flu. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Investigators looking into the crash of Flight MH370 have pretty much ruled out "pilot error" as the cause, since they've determined that, at the time of impact, the plane didn't HAVE one [Followup]

Wednesday 2 November 19:20:05 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman who claims Donald Trump raped her at age 13 to break silence and hold press conference at 3pm Pacific [NewsFlash]

Wednesday 2 November 19:13:19 UTC 2016

NewsFlash [link] [1083 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Louisiana Supreme Court rules that priests don't have to report child abuse. God strangely unavailable for comment [Asinine]

Wednesday 2 November 19:10:45 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drunk, naked man roams condo, knocking on doors for sex. Trick-or-treat was Monday, dude [Dumbass]

Wednesday 2 November 18:44:05 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Happier Schools Produce Better Grades, Research Finds

Wednesday 2 November 18:41:23 UTC 2016

Positive school climates are better for students in more ways than one. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hulk Hogan settles with Gawker for $31 million+, money to be used to improve production quality of future sex tapes [Followup]

Wednesday 2 November 18:20:05 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [115 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Traffic snarled by giant dick [Amusing]

Wednesday 2 November 18:13:25 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Microsoft says Russian hackers are targeting Windows. Yep, we're all dead [Scary]

Wednesday 2 November 17:46:45 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [123 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: VoCore2 Mini Linux Computer + Ultimate Dock. An open source linux computer and full functional wireless router. Enjoy the adorable possibilities. (Sponsored Link) [Plug]

Wednesday 2 November 17:37:21 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [3 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Get Wednesday's Top Amazon Deals While You Can

Wednesday 2 November 17:24:30 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, November 2. [Link]

Mental Floss » A Jimmy Fallon Ride Is Coming to Universal Studios

Wednesday 2 November 17:24:29 UTC 2016

'Dick Cavett: The Experience' is still awaiting its greenlight. [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Oversized Facts About JNCO Jeans

Wednesday 2 November 17:24:28 UTC 2016

JNCOs were quintessentially '90s jeans, worn largely (at least at first) by skaters and nonconformists and known for mega-wide leg openings—and now, the brand is back with new investors. [Link]

Mental Floss » Science Quiz: Choose the Wrong Answer

Wednesday 2 November 17:24:14 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » Can You Match the Landmarks to the City?

Wednesday 2 November 17:24:13 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » Match the Movie With the Tagline

Wednesday 2 November 17:24:12 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Like that degenerate gambler of a brother-in-law of yours, Lockheed is back to the DOD begging for money, swearing it only needs $500 million more dollars to get the F-35 combat ready. Honest. Then they're done. Swear [Fail]

Wednesday 2 November 17:16:45 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [123 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Amazon Rolls Out Black Friday-Worthy Tool Deals Early

Wednesday 2 November 16:58:15 UTC 2016

Get a head start on shopping for the tool-obsessed person on your list. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here are the 17 traffic laws you probably broke just on your drive to work this morning [Obvious]

Wednesday 2 November 16:50:05 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [157 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Half of Heathrow's 25,000 noise complaints in the last three months were made by the same 10 people [Dumbass]

Wednesday 2 November 16:44:06 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » China begins work on a 373 mph maglev "super-train", meanwhile in the US, the subway system in the nation's capital MIGHT be fully functional again, in a couple years, if everything goes right [Facepalm]

Wednesday 2 November 16:20:06 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [180 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » New iPhone Update Offers David Bowie-Themed Emojis

Wednesday 2 November 16:10:38 UTC 2016

The tiny male and female singers resemble Bowie as he appeared the cover of 1973's 'Aladdin Sane.' [Link]

Mental Floss » Experience a 1920s Fossil Expedition With This 360-Degree Video

Wednesday 2 November 16:10:37 UTC 2016

The American Museum of Natural History is highlighting its artifacts in a whole new way. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Bad Candy

Wednesday 2 November 16:10:31 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » Name the Colors of the Original Power Rangers

Wednesday 2 November 16:10:26 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » UCLA Scientists Use Ultrasound to 'Jump-Start' a Coma Patient’s Brain

Wednesday 2 November 16:00:00 UTC 2016

Researchers at UCLA are the first to use a new, noninvasive ultrasound technique to "jump-start" the brain of a recovering coma patient from a minimally conscious state to fully conscious. [Link]

FMyLife » fml says FML

Wednesday 2 November 15:40:13 UTC 2016

Today, the mall I work at started playing Christmas songs on repeat. It's the beginning of November. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The killings of two Iowa police officers is downgraded to a category 2 shiatstorm after the suspect identified turns out to be a middle-aged white guy with a normal-sounding name. Expect falling media coverage and FB posts to tail off by midnight. UP

Wednesday 2 November 15:14:17 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [287 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Sharp Facts About 'Hook'

Wednesday 2 November 15:00:00 UTC 2016

3. Michael Jackson was Steven Spielberg's first choice for the lead. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dad's ashes blasted into night sky in explosive Halloween farewell [Strange]

Wednesday 2 November 14:50:05 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Everything New On Netflix This Month

Wednesday 2 November 14:30:00 UTC 2016

Just in time for Thanksgiving, Netflix viewers will finally get the chance to return to Stars Hollow and witness the early reign of Queen Elizabeth II. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are few things creepier than being stuck in a dark room with your high school teacher and he starts talking to you about stripping and prostitution [Creepy]

Wednesday 2 November 14:20:05 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » High-Tech Pen Doubles as a Laser Measuring Tool

Wednesday 2 November 14:00:00 UTC 2016

The 01 is a tape measure for the 21st century. [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Rhode Island Never Gets a Lot Of Respect As a State.

Wednesday 2 November 13:49:06 UTC 2016

Male coworker: It's sad. I bet it's like, huge, but compared to that it's tiny. Raleigh, NC [Link]

Weird Universe » The Palatability of Eggs

Wednesday 2 November 13:44:35 UTC 2016

Dr. Hugh CottAfter World War II, Dr. Hugh Cott of Cambridge University conducted a series of egg-tasting experiments in order to determine the palatability of eggs from various species of birds. I think part of the idea was to determine which eggs might possibly be used as a food source by Englanders, in case of another war. But part of the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Barnum & Bailey Barker [Photoshop]

Wednesday 2 November 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Times the Jig Was Up Because the Parrot Squawked

Wednesday 2 November 13:00:00 UTC 2016

Most of our feathered friends can sing, but only a few can talk. And if those talkers witness something naughty, they might just tell on you. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two officers killed in Des Moines in separate ambush-style attacks. Shooter or shooters unidentified and still at large. UPDATE: Suspect identified, still at large [Scary]

Wednesday 2 November 12:50:05 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [339 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Steam Wagon Leaves for World Tour

Wednesday 2 November 12:13:56 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Major Retailer Gets Rid of Plus-Sized Department." Oh, FFS–when are they going to–what? They're putting the plus sizes on the racks with all the other clothes? That's different [Cool]

Wednesday 2 November 11:59:34 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [287 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just because you don't like it when your co-workers bring their children to work doesn't mean you get to stab the kid [Scary]

Wednesday 2 November 11:46:33 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Bad Candy

Wednesday 2 November 11:45:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » You Can Now Buy a LEGO Set Based on ‘Yellow Submarine’ by The Beatles

Wednesday 2 November 11:30:00 UTC 2016

We all live in a LEGO submarine. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is a heartbreaking story about an 11-year-old cancer survivor that committed suicide due to bullying. If you have children, please teach them to understand and accept those who are different from them [Sad]

Wednesday 2 November 11:19:34 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [303 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » sad trick Or treat says FML

Wednesday 2 November 11:00:44 UTC 2016

Today, I went to the ER to get my eye checked. Turns out I had a scratch in it. So, after sedation, I now need to wear an eyepatch. Too bad Halloween was yesterday. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 2 November 11:00:43 UTC 2016

Today, I had a 10-hour shift that started at 5 a.m. We can't leave until relief comes and we don't get paid for overtime if our relief is late. The good news is my relief came early. The bad news is he went on a smoke break and never came back. They want me to stay until we close and … [Link]

FMyLife » manda8484 says FML

Wednesday 2 November 11:00:42 UTC 2016

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I've been crushing on for a while. When he dropped me off, I said thank you and that we should do it again sometime. He replied, "Yeah, maybe next Halloween." FML [Link]

FMyLife » 41k312 says FML

Wednesday 2 November 11:00:41 UTC 2016

Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Have no fears of a tsunami…the State of Washington has a big orange ball to help you float your way through the flood [Asinine]

Wednesday 2 November 10:41:33 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dear Westboro Baptist Church: Love can drive out hate, and also when asked what God hates it is actually figs [Obvious]

Wednesday 2 November 10:30:33 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: How We Got Voting Booths

Wednesday 2 November 10:00:00 UTC 2016

Morning links to start a great day! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » White man assaults black youth with autism running in a school track meet, claiming to police the youth was going to attack his wife — and gets no charges [Murica]

Wednesday 2 November 9:22:33 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [177 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who has been in prison 63 years rejects parole, even though he has been in there long enough [Strange]

Wednesday 2 November 9:15:33 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [35 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » kookoocatlady says FML

Wednesday 2 November 9:00:08 UTC 2016

Today, I kept my cats indoors to be safe on Halloween, making sure to keep the food full and litter boxes clean. After dinner, I got dressed up and spent two hours at a party. When I got home, there was a large, rancid butt-loaf waiting on my bed. Unappreciative little fuckers. FML [Link]

FMyLife » graphite01 says FML

Wednesday 2 November 9:00:07 UTC 2016

Today, I found out that I was never actually enrolled in the class I've been attending all semester. I guess that explains why I only got $400 dollars in student aid, not the 1,200 they said I'd get. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You might think your house is clean but you probably didn't dust your blinds, the top of your refrigerator, the bottom of your rugs, your ceiling fans, or the TV remote [Unlikely]

Wednesday 2 November 8:29:34 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Science Behind Skunk Spray Stench

Wednesday 2 November 8:00:00 UTC 2016

Ever wonder why a skunk’s defensive spray smells so bad and why one popular home remedy—tomato juice—never seems to get rid of its stench? [Link]

GraphJam » It's Always Silent When I Stutter

Wednesday 2 November 7:26:21 UTC 2016

friends,insults,offense,Pie Chart,retort,stutter Graph by: Unknown Tagged: friends , insults , offense , Pie Chart , retort , stutter Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Researchers may have found the remains of Amelia Earhart on a small island in the central Pacific. How they got there from an attic in Amsterdam we'll never know [Interesting]

Wednesday 2 November 7:23:34 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Vacancies

Wednesday 2 November 6:25:19 UTC 2016

Image: Wikimedia Commons Between 1937 and 1939, Nazi Germany built a colossal beach resort on the island of Rügen in the Baltic Sea. Its scale was enormous: Meant to host 20,000 holiday-makers at a time in shifts of 10 days, the six-story edifice of 10,000 double rooms stretches for 4.5 kilometers, requiring almost an hour to walk its length. At the … [Link]

Mental Floss » Ill-Timed Fart During Laser Surgery Lights Woman on Fire

Wednesday 2 November 6:00:00 UTC 2016

The fire broke out at a Japanese hospital in April, causing the patient serious burns. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Red Bull Gives You Hepatitis™ [Scary]

Wednesday 2 November 5:08:12 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tenants starting to get a sinking feeling about their 58-story luxury apartment tower in San Francisco (with video demonstration) [Followup]

Wednesday 2 November 5:07:19 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Want Better Mental Performance? Find the Right Light

Wednesday 2 November 5:00:00 UTC 2016

Presented by GE reveal. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is why you sleep like crap in hotels, and not just because you always go to bed wasted [Interesting]

Wednesday 2 November 4:45:00 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meth found hidden in stacks of Best Tacos Ever [Amusing]

Wednesday 2 November 3:59:27 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » More and more people are finding out that life after death is not only possible, but preferable; and the creditors stop calling you, too [Interesting]

Wednesday 2 November 2:50:04 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's now official: If you're over 53, stop wearing jeans. Now [Obvious]

Wednesday 2 November 2:25:48 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [290 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. When life hands you a mortuary, make a killing [Creepy]

Wednesday 2 November 2:02:04 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New study finds people in the Midwest are the most likely to drive drunk [PSA]

Wednesday 2 November 1:55:56 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chapel Hill school cancels 3rd grade "wax museum" show, upon realizing that 3rd graders plan to act like 3rd graders [Facepalm]

Wednesday 2 November 1:36:41 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Unsure about Trump or Clinton? Some lucky D.C. residents now have a better, third option [Interesting]

Wednesday 2 November 1:14:04 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Millennials are running the world out of coffee [Interesting]

Wednesday 2 November 1:11:52 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Leggy Facts About the Maned Wolf

Wednesday 2 November 1:00:00 UTC 2016

Its pee smells like pot. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Newest addition to the list of Things That Are Destroying America: Ranch dressing [Stupid]

Wednesday 2 November 0:32:25 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [149 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever wonder which craft beers go well with the Halloween candy you sneak from your kid's stash? [Weird]

Wednesday 2 November 0:26:04 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these break dancers [Photoshop]

Wednesday 2 November 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

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