John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » When I was your age, we had to climb an 800 meter cliff to go to school, and all we had was rotten VINES to hang on to. We didn't have any of these fancy metal ladders to climb, and we LIKED it [Scary]

Wednesday 26 October 23:58:19 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Harry Houdini Honored at Manhattan Home for the 90th Anniversary of His Death

Wednesday 26 October 23:47:49 UTC 2016

The Upper East Side locale was the famed magician's first New York City residence. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A map of the United States…with every October clown sighting [Interesting]

Wednesday 26 October 23:30:04 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Delmonico’s Launches Menu of Presidential Meals

Wednesday 26 October 23:30:00 UTC 2016

The special event highlights dishes served in the White House and at the historic restaurant. [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Wild Facts About ‘Major League’

Wednesday 26 October 23:00:00 UTC 2016

If you were to ask one thousand Cleveland Indians fans to name their all-time favorite player, a decent percentage might say Willie Mays Hayes or Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Alien megastructure" star targeted by SETI. Not necessarily targeted in the Death Star sense, but let's keep our options open [Interesting]

Wednesday 26 October 22:50:04 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here are 16 dogs with better Halloween costumes than you [Amusing]

Wednesday 26 October 22:20:04 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Hang Out With Bats via Two New Live Streams

Wednesday 26 October 22:17:48 UTC 2016

Get your bat fix with live streams of fuzzy bats from the Organization for Bat Conservation. [Link]

Mental Floss » Gowanus Canal Cleanup Reveals Sunken Objects From New York's Past

Wednesday 26 October 22:17:47 UTC 2016

Over the next four weeks, contractors cleaning the body of water will haul large items, like ships, out of the canal. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Best and Worst States for People With Mental Health Issues, Ranked

Wednesday 26 October 22:00:00 UTC 2016

The majority of American adults aren't receiving treatment for their mental health issues, new research finds. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's always a surprise as to what you're gonna get when you pop quarters into a toy vending machine, but there are some prizes that no parent wants dispensed to their kid. Like blood pressure medication [Fail]

Wednesday 26 October 21:50:04 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Sell Your Home Faster With These 9 Tips

Wednesday 26 October 21:30:00 UTC 2016

Experts share their secrets for getting your house off the market, stat. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Researchers invent 'perfect' soap molecule that is better for the environment. Your roommate will still never hear about this [Interesting]

Wednesday 26 October 21:20:05 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The secret to being happy has been revealed and it's impossible [Sad]

Wednesday 26 October 20:50:05 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [142 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Stephen King Wrote a Real-Life Version of a Book From The Dark Tower Series

Wednesday 26 October 20:36:42 UTC 2016

Perfect for Stephen King fans—or just children you want to traumatize. [Link]

Mental Floss » Look Up Tonight! The Northern Lights Will Put on a Stunning Show

Wednesday 26 October 20:36:41 UTC 2016

The light show might be visible as far south as Pennsylvania. [Link]

Mental Floss » Who Wrote History's First Blurb?

Wednesday 26 October 20:36:40 UTC 2016

And how did they get that name? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♫ All we need is music, sweet music / There'll be music everywhere / There'll be people singing, my dick swinging / Dancing in the street ♪ [Facepalm]

Wednesday 26 October 20:34:44 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meanwhile, somewhere in deep black Siberia, a meteorite rammed into Earth [Interesting]

Wednesday 26 October 20:20:06 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: The perfect Halloween costume [Photoshop]

Wednesday 26 October 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Secretary of Defense suspends efforts to claw back enlistment bonuses from California National Guard troops. Thanks, Obama [Followup]

Wednesday 26 October 19:50:04 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Point of Duty

Wednesday 26 October 19:21:00 UTC 2016

Secessionist Roger A. Pryor was visiting Fort Sumter just before the outbreak of the Civil War when he accidentally drank a bottle of poison. A Union doctor named Samuel Crawford pumped his stomach, saving his life. “Some of us questioned the doctor’s right to interpose in a case of this kind,” wrote Union captain Abner Doubleday. “It was argued that … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rule one of protesting: Don't fark with the morning commute in NYC [Fail]

Wednesday 26 October 19:20:05 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » KFC Food Scientists Unveil the Chizza, a Chicken-Pizza Mashup

Wednesday 26 October 18:52:23 UTC 2016

It's chicken. It's pizza. It's probably not all that good for you. [Link]

Mental Floss » Singapore to Launch a Giant Island of Floating Solar Panels

Wednesday 26 October 18:52:22 UTC 2016

The world's largest test bed of floating solar panels is due to be operational by the end of the year. [Link]

Mental Floss » Finish the 1988 Movie Title

Wednesday 26 October 18:52:08 UTC 2016

Take the quiz! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russian naval power on full display as their coal powered carrier begs for fuel in Spain after squeezing under a Danish bridge and skulking through the English channel [Fail]

Wednesday 26 October 18:50:04 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [228 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Pinpoint When and Where HIV Arrived in the U.S.

Wednesday 26 October 18:45:00 UTC 2016

So-called "Patient Zero" was not, in fact, the first person in North America to contract the virus. [Link]

Mental Floss » These Jobs Saw the Biggest Pay Increases from 2015 to 2016

Wednesday 26 October 18:30:00 UTC 2016

Positions in marketing, sales, and healthcare all made the list. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You can now get venison at Arby's [Cool]

Wednesday 26 October 18:20:05 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [150 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Arlington National Cemetery Bans Bikes And Pets

Wednesday 26 October 18:15:00 UTC 2016

Service animals and working military dogs are still permitted, as are authorized visitors on bicycles. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: Samsung wireless charging stand for Qi-enabled smartphones. (Sponsored Link) [Plug]

Wednesday 26 October 18:13:15 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [7 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Small rural town WWE matches now on hold after Frankie the Farmer used metal chair on Wyld Beaver and killed him. Mean Gene inconsolable [Sad]

Wednesday 26 October 17:50:04 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » You've Got to See Wednesday's Top Amazon Deals

Wednesday 26 October 17:22:51 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, October 26. [Link]

Mental Floss » Read the Ghost Story Anthology That Inspired Three Classic Scary Stories

Wednesday 26 October 17:22:50 UTC 2016

When looking for inspiration for spooky tales to tell this Halloween, it never hurts to draw from the classics. [Link]

Mental Floss » Guided by Voices: 6 Books Supposedly Written by Ghosts

Wednesday 26 October 17:22:49 UTC 2016

The spirits sure have a lot to share with us. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "You're more likely to catch Ebola than receive a pot-laced candy this Halloween." Goddammit [Sad]

Wednesday 26 October 17:20:06 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [146 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sheriff Joe Arpaio has been formally charged with criminal contempt [Murica]

Wednesday 26 October 17:03:30 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [170 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We've narrowed down the suspects to… almost everyone" [Hero]

Wednesday 26 October 16:50:04 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's everything you wanted to know about candy corn, the official eat-last bag ballast of Halloween [Amusing]

Wednesday 26 October 16:20:05 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [146 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Pick the Correct Word for Each Definition

Wednesday 26 October 16:10:46 UTC 2016

You can do this. [Link]

Mental Floss » A Graveyard Smash: Bobby Pickett, The Man Behind the 'Monster Mash'

Wednesday 26 October 16:10:45 UTC 2016

Just like the Halloween monsters Pickett lampooned in his songs, "Monster Mash" returns from the dead year after year. [Link]

Mental Floss » Haunted Locations You Can Visit in All 50 States

Wednesday 26 October 16:10:34 UTC 2016

For when you need a more immersive haunting experience. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What's the matter, ex-boyfriend got your tongue? [Scary]

Wednesday 26 October 16:01:04 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man steals Torah scrolls valued at $200,000 from Brooklyn synagogue. Suspect described as a cleric with +85 spell power [Asinine]

Wednesday 26 October 15:50:04 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why the Chinese no longer bite wax tadpoles [Interesting]

Wednesday 26 October 15:20:05 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When the power goes out and the internet disappears and your smart phone is worthless, it's comforting to know a human Google still works at the New York public library [Spiffy]

Wednesday 26 October 14:50:04 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Play Matchmakers for a Lonely Lefty Snail

Wednesday 26 October 14:48:04 UTC 2016

Jeremy the garden snail was born a mirror image of most snails—a fact that’s made mating impossible. [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 Haunting Horror Movie Gimmicks

Wednesday 26 October 14:48:03 UTC 2016

From hypnotists to life insurance policies, horror movies have a storied history of gimmickry. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: More TWD RIPs

Wednesday 26 October 14:48:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » 50 Facts About Felines for National Cat Day

Wednesday 26 October 14:47:55 UTC 2016

This Saturday, celebrate your kitty in all its furry glory. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NATO will press allies on Wednesday to contribute to its biggest military build-up on Russia's borders since the Cold War as the alliance prepares for a protracted quarrel with Moscow [Sad]

Wednesday 26 October 14:20:05 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [171 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Brewery Recreates Booze Found in a 2500-Year-Old Grave

Wednesday 26 October 14:00:00 UTC 2016

The drink contained traces of honey, mint, and barley. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I need to write. I need to write. I need to write. No time to write a Fark headline, I need to write write write. *scampers away* THIS is your Fark Writers Thread, "mad hatter" edition [CSB]

Wednesday 26 October 13:50:04 UTC 2016

CSB [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Out of Bounds

Wednesday 26 October 13:26:20 UTC 2016

If a game is anything, it’s a set of rules. And playing a game requires following these rules. If we take this definition seriously, then a cheater, one who breaks the rules, not only doesn’t deserve to win — he literally isn’t playing the game. University of Waterloo philosopher Bernard Suits writes: The end in poker is not to gain … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want to give trick-or-treaters something other than full-sized Mars bars this Halloween? Four words: chocolate dipped brussels sprouts [Amusing]

Wednesday 26 October 13:20:05 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [151 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Illicit Abbatoir

Wednesday 26 October 13:18:11 UTC 2016

Two goats' headsDried hides from reindeer and deerDried trachea, tendons, ears and tails100-200 dried bulls' penises700 litres of bones500 litres of lard
These were among the items recently discovered by Swedish police when they raided the home of a property owner in Hudiksvall municipality. The man was suspected of running an illegal, unlicensed abattoir from his home. The article notes, … [Link]

Weird Universe » Gadget-Filled Car

Wednesday 26 October 13:18:10 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop somewhere more interesting for this magpie to fly [Photoshop]

Wednesday 26 October 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Fiendish Etymologies for Halloween Monsters

Wednesday 26 October 13:00:00 UTC 2016

On Halloween, witches and werewolves, ghosts and ghouls, and demons and devils stalk the streets for tricks or treats. But the real tricks and treats—at least for the horror-loving word nerds among us—might just be the strange and far-flung origins of these monster names. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Adoptive parents of 12 year old Afghan boy learn that he is really a 21 year old Taliban trained Islamic terrorist. "But Rosie soon had her suspicions about her "humble, polite" guest after noticing how hairy he was" [Scary]

Wednesday 26 October 12:50:05 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [138 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mullet meme teen to sue media outlets for mocking his hairstyle. Judge's decision pending the outcome of a possible Fark photoshop competition [Dumbass]

Wednesday 26 October 12:20:06 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 72 years ago yesterday, 13 USN ships faced off with a larger IJN fleet including Yamato, which by itself outweighed the U.S. force "This will be a fight against overwhelming odds from which survival cannot be expected. We will do what damage we c

Wednesday 26 October 12:01:20 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [174 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » International Energy Agency: Renewables surpassed coal last year to become the largest source of installed power capacity in the world [Plug]

Wednesday 26 October 11:59:26 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » More TWD RIPs

Wednesday 26 October 11:45:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Halloween Comics

Wednesday 26 October 11:25:22 UTC 2016

Great links to start a great day! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Armed murder suspect who live streamed escape may be headed to Las Vegas to spread his communicable disease, because of course he is [Weird]

Wednesday 26 October 11:13:20 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♩ 56 years have passed since I wrote my note….it was a goof right from the start ♪ ….. 1,500 miles later…… ♪ found by a tourist far away, and returned to my daughter's heart. ♬ [Cool]

Wednesday 26 October 11:11:18 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [7 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The phone hacking firm that broke the San Bernardino iPhone just learned a very expensive lesson in security as their product manuals and code leaked online [Ironic]

Wednesday 26 October 10:41:00 UTC 2016

Ironic [link] [62 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » daidax_238 says FML

Wednesday 26 October 10:38:00 UTC 2016

Today, my parents are forcing me to go to an insanely conservative, Christian private school. I'm gay. This is going to be a long year. FML [Link]

GraphJam » all I wanted was to make a simple flowchart but then I fell down the rabbit hole

Wednesday 26 October 10:33:34 UTC 2016

Bar Graph - 8985463808 Graph by: (via traceexcalibur) Tagged: Bar Graph Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 2016 claims aviation legend R.A. "Bob" Hoover, who famously demonstrated that a barrel roll is 1G maneuver by pouring a cup of iced tea while doing one. The hardest part he said? Pouring back handed. Godspeed sir [Hero]

Wednesday 26 October 10:24:30 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A New Secret Weapon Against Illegal Wildlife Trafficking: Rats

Wednesday 26 October 7:30:00 UTC 2016

The African pouched rat’s sense of smell rivals a canine's—and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service hopes it can help them detect illegal shipments. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Great news for anyone looking to purchase the world's largest log cabin. The price has been slashed from $40 million down to $19.5 million (but only if you are willing to settle for about 4,600 fewer acres of property) [Silly]

Wednesday 26 October 6:23:00 UTC 2016

Silly [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » You Can Now Tour the Pope’s Summer Home

Wednesday 26 October 5:30:00 UTC 2016

Castel Gandolfo has been used as a papal getaway spot since the 17th century. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's how to spend $20,000 on decorating your home for Halloween. That will at least scare the hell out of your fiscally conservative spouse [Spiffy]

Wednesday 26 October 5:11:14 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In other news, we have nuclear power plants still using pagers [Scary]

Wednesday 26 October 4:50:00 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Historic Figures With Ties to the U.S. Virgin Islands

Wednesday 26 October 4:30:00 UTC 2016

Presented by U.S. Virgin Islands. [Link]

Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: Germans Storm Romanian Passes

Wednesday 26 October 3:30:00 UTC 2016

Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 254th installment in the series. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Romero Research Institute reminds us that dogs eat poop, and letting one lick your face exposes you to massive amounts of bacteria, viruses, and parasites [Obvious]

Wednesday 26 October 3:06:52 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Surfer bitten at beach says shark 'came out of nowhere.' Investigators suspect the ocean [Obvious]

Wednesday 26 October 3:02:42 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former mayor pleads guilty to burglarizing current mayor, but says firing a gun through his sunroof was justified because corpses were chasing him [Weird]

Wednesday 26 October 2:41:54 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oklahoma man has made the prosecutors job easier thanks to a habit of posting to Facebook Live. Now they just need to find him [Scary]

Wednesday 26 October 2:17:54 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [6 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida man runs himself over while leaving strip club, crashes truck into house and flees, no doubt to the inevitable soundtrack of Florida Man: Yakkety Sax [Florida]

Wednesday 26 October 1:53:54 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Church of Latter Day Saints opens new website "Mormon and Gay" to increase awareness of homosexuality amongst LDS parents, family, friends. Remember, "[b]eing gay is not a sin; just acting on it is" [Fail]

Wednesday 26 October 1:30:14 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Have We Detected Hundreds of Signals From Extraterrestrial Life?

Wednesday 26 October 1:30:00 UTC 2016

The astronomical community is reacting with measured skepticism to a new paper making bold claims. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you lost your torpedo stuffed with £4.5m worth of 'Playboy' cocaine then the Irish authorities would like a word [Interesting]

Wednesday 26 October 1:29:54 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "OK, I think that wraps up this financial audit meeting ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming. *cough* oh by the way we can't account for 80 million dollars *cough* Please, grab some coffee and donuts on your way out [Stupid]

Wednesday 26 October 1:05:54 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » AT&T is spying on you for profit. Well, why else would they be spying on you? It's not like you do anything exciting [Obvious]

Wednesday 26 October 0:41:54 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 19 Perfectly Black Products to Get You in the Halloween Spirit

Wednesday 26 October 0:30:00 UTC 2016

Embrace your inner goth kid. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cocaine, LSD and Neurosurgery? If only he had a sing along blog [Scary]

Wednesday 26 October 0:17:54 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this welcoming cabin [Photoshop]

Wednesday 26 October 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

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