John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Struggling shipper is selling a tug or two to pay the bills [Giggity]

Tuesday 18 October 23:47:03 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You think you've got it hard? This guy got drafted into three different armies [Unlikely]

Tuesday 18 October 23:40:05 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Explore Pluto With a Geographically Accurate Desk Globe

Tuesday 18 October 23:30:00 UTC 2016

The globe is based on data gathered by the historic New Horizons mission. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yao Ming appointed as China's ambassador to Mars, presumably to deal with Leo Wong [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 October 23:13:25 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's not just America: Germans don't understand their constitution, either [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 October 22:46:45 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 of the World’s Most Remote Art Installations

Tuesday 18 October 22:28:13 UTC 2016

In a world of blockbuster art shows and museum selfies, there is a need for the kind of art experience that connects more authentically with a place. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ecuador to Julian Assange: "Eight year olds, dude" [Followup]

Tuesday 18 October 22:20:05 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [259 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who needs an emotional support duck? Well, possibly quite a number of Americans, depending on how the whole election thing turns out [Murica]

Tuesday 18 October 22:02:00 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Best Time to Book Your Holiday Travel Plans

Tuesday 18 October 22:00:00 UTC 2016

For the biggest savings, make your hotel and flight reservations now. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » STORE CLOSED FOR REFURBISHMENT. WE APOLOGIZE FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE. P.S. Mind the murderous crows [Scary]

Tuesday 18 October 21:38:00 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Operation Cone of Power: When British Witches Attacked Adolf Hitler

Tuesday 18 October 21:30:00 UTC 2016

Some say that in 1940, a secretive coven used a ritual to keep Hitler out of the UK. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meet BMW's vision of the future, the … what the hell is that thing? [Weird]

Tuesday 18 October 21:14:00 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Digital Display Frame Is the Only Art You’ll Ever Need

Tuesday 18 October 21:00:00 UTC 2016

You can change the artwork inside whenever you want. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's trolling, and then there's "wearing a Steve Bartman Cubs jersey on a Wrigley rooftop" level trolling [Awkward]

Tuesday 18 October 20:59:16 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Professional tenant evicted. This could harm his chances at making the finals [Dumbass]

Tuesday 18 October 20:50:04 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 3 Steps to Guarantee a Good Job Reference

Tuesday 18 October 20:46:17 UTC 2016

Research shows your references can make or break your ability to get the gig. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Presidential candidate uses multiple out of date email servers, all of them unpatched [Followup]

Tuesday 18 October 20:20:05 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's where the candidates actually stand on the issues. For Fark politics tab users, 'issues' are matters of policy that might actually have an impact on your life but you choose to ignore anyway [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 October 20:04:45 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this delicious treat [Photoshop]

Tuesday 18 October 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How A Misinterpreted Anagram Predicted The Moons of Mars

Tuesday 18 October 20:00:00 UTC 2016

SMAISMRMILMEPOETALEUMIBUNENUGTTAUIR~ [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Financial services company hide 10 "lucky" pennies in San Diego, each redeemable for $1,000. Not to be confused with 'ass pennies', which cost your dignity [Misc]

Tuesday 18 October 19:50:05 UTC 2016

Misc [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Only 1 of 7 born this year, ugly ass baby black rhino …Awwwww it looks just like a puppy [Cool]

Tuesday 18 October 19:40:45 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Should You Apply Ice or Heat to Your Aches and Pains?

Tuesday 18 October 19:30:00 UTC 2016

Use this infographic to determine the best method for soothing your sore muscles and throbbing joints. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you've ever wondered what it would look like if a Russian immigrant turned his suburban home into a Kandinsky painting, the answer is "The most appalling Zillow listing of all time" [Weird]

Tuesday 18 October 19:16:45 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Sanguine Facts About Human Blood

Tuesday 18 October 19:09:30 UTC 2016

5. The life span of a healthy red blood cell is only about 120 days. [Link]

Mental Floss » Airbnb Is Offering Two Guests a Stay in Dracula’s Castle on Halloween Night

Tuesday 18 October 19:00:00 UTC 2016

Leave your garlic at home. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Half the fun of running over a Trump sign with your vehicle is recording it and posting it to Facebook. The other half is being arrested for it [Florida]

Tuesday 18 October 18:50:05 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Worst Storage Wars episode ever [Sick]

Tuesday 18 October 18:32:08 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guns don't kill people. Toddlers kill people [Strange]

Tuesday 18 October 18:20:06 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Social Security recipients to get a .3% raise in benefits next year, possibly allowing them to step up to TWO cans of cat food a week [Sad]

Tuesday 18 October 18:13:26 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The problem with sudden wealth. Yeah, I'll risk it [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 October 17:46:46 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [135 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Don't Miss Tuesday's Best Amazon Deals

Tuesday 18 October 17:29:12 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, October 18. Mental Floss has affiliate relationships with certain retailers, including Amazon, and may receive a small percentage of any sale. But we only get commission on items you buy and don’t return, so we’re only … [Link]

Mental Floss » The Ideal Charge Amount for Prolonging Your Laptop's Battery Life

Tuesday 18 October 17:29:11 UTC 2016

One simple trick for keeping your laptop power source in good health. [Link]

Mental Floss » Prince's Urn Is a Small-Scale Replica of Paisley Park

Tuesday 18 October 17:29:10 UTC 2016

R.I.P., The Purple One. [Link]

Mental Floss » Tomorrow ESA Will Land a Spacecraft on Mars

Tuesday 18 October 17:29:09 UTC 2016

You can follow the action live at ESA's Facebook page beginning at 8 a.m. EDT. [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Little Things You Can Do to Make A Difference

Tuesday 18 October 17:28:54 UTC 2016

These small acts can help improve your community or brighten someone's day. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » BBC says it can predict weather a year in advance thanks to £97 million super computer grant. So presumably could predict 2026's weather for £970 million [Unlikely]

Tuesday 18 October 17:20:06 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [31 comments] [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » Bears vs Babies – A card game from the creators of Exploding Kittens

Tuesday 18 October 17:07:59 UTC 2016

Bears vs Babies - A card game from the creators of Exploding KittensOur new card game is now on Kickstarter.View [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: Zivix Jamstick wireless smart guitar. Connects to apple software and apps, MIDI controller functionality, teaching software. Perfect for learning Rush's 2112 "Discovery" for your Ready Player One VR simulation. (Spo

Tuesday 18 October 16:57:33 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [5 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rare 400 pound weedfish caught off Florida [Florida]

Tuesday 18 October 16:50:04 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [89 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » greeter says FML

Tuesday 18 October 16:36:53 UTC 2016

Today, my class had a very important meeting about workplace safety. I thought I led some of my classmates to the meeting very well, until they informed me that I accidentally ran a red light on the way there. They brought this infraction up during the class every chance they got. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » A Factor in Babies’ Blood May Treat Inflammation and Sepsis

Tuesday 18 October 16:30:00 UTC 2016

The peptide only exists in the umbilical cords and circulatory systems of newborn babies for about two weeks; then it disappears. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When you're a wild rhino in Africa, the last thing you expect is to get an old tire stuck on your horn. "The rhino could not open his mouth wide enough to eat or drink" [Sad]

Tuesday 18 October 16:20:05 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Mom Crochets Son an 'E.T.'-Inspired Onesie for Halloween

Tuesday 18 October 15:50:18 UTC 2016

The entire project took Stephanie Pokorny four days, and she didn’t use a pattern. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: On the Drugstore Shelf

Tuesday 18 October 15:50:15 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember the Care Bear stare which sent a ray of love that brought joy to a person's heart? Well, this stare did none of that [Asinine]

Tuesday 18 October 15:50:04 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Japanese Baseball Team Cursed by the Ghost of Colonel Sanders

Tuesday 18 October 15:30:00 UTC 2016

Yes, the KFC guy. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » My insecurity is why I think Nickelback lovers have bad taste in music [Unlikely]

Tuesday 18 October 15:20:05 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [281 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boaty McBoatface is now under constructy mcconstruction [Followup]

Tuesday 18 October 14:38:16 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The True Stories Behind 6 Haunted House Movies

Tuesday 18 October 14:30:00 UTC 2016

Sometimes, the truth really is stranger—and much scarier—than fiction. [Link]

Weird Universe » Compelled by jasmine to shoplift

Tuesday 18 October 14:28:18 UTC 2016

Shirley Cromartie was working as a housekeeper at President Nixon's Key Biscayne retreat when, in 1971, she was arrested for shoplifting. She admitted to the crime but insisted that it hadn't been her fault. She explained that a mysterious woman wearing a wig had approached her in the store's parking lot, asked her the time, and had then released a … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cartwright pleads guilty to leaking critical military intelligence to foreign political enemies, conspiring to assassinate Chancellor Gorkon [Followup]

Tuesday 18 October 14:20:05 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Still reeling from Brexit, the UK suffers another calamity [Scary]

Tuesday 18 October 14:07:15 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [83 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » twicethepersonioncewas says FML

Tuesday 18 October 13:32:23 UTC 2016

Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification that my workload would be increased to more than twice what is was before. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » High-Tech Paper Rolls Up Into a Functioning Torch

Tuesday 18 October 13:30:00 UTC 2016

The light adjusts based on how tightly it's rolled. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bag of human remains found in vacant Cleveland lot, will be Browns starting QB on Sunday [Sick]

Tuesday 18 October 13:18:53 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption this totally unrehearsed picture of Donald Trump's five kids "goofing off [Caption]

Tuesday 18 October 13:15:06 UTC 2016

Caption [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this early rock star [Photoshop]

Tuesday 18 October 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Overflying Israel against orders? Do you want a Six Day War? Because that's how you get a Six Day War [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 October 12:57:13 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Paul Starr, Space Agent

Tuesday 18 October 12:54:31 UTC 2016

More info at the YouTube URL of this clip, as well as here. [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 Punctuation Marks Hated by Famous Authors

Tuesday 18 October 12:46:07 UTC 2016

Punctuation marks are not the most important tools in a writer's toolkit, but writers can develop some strong opinions about them. Here are six punctuation marks that famous authors grew to hate. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who parked his car across his driveway to stop other drivers doing the same is slapped with a $180 fine [Asinine]

Tuesday 18 October 12:42:10 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [175 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » JoeyTheJedi says FML

Tuesday 18 October 12:29:34 UTC 2016

Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's been a death in the family, then abruptly hangs up. I speed home, to find my mother holding the tiny corpse of a fish that she got 2 weeks ago. I got fired for being late to work. FML [Link]

FMyLife » oped01 says FML

Tuesday 18 October 12:29:33 UTC 2016

Today, in a department store, a woman with a parrot sitting on her shoulder was trying to return a coffee maker. She explained that she had to return the coffee maker because the bird didn't like it sitting on the kitchen counter. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cobra wrangler living in a normal neighborhood is still pretty convinced that there's no way that his escaped cobra could have gotten out of his house [Florida]

Tuesday 18 October 12:22:22 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thousands of two-pound scrotum frogs dying in Lake Titicaca. Your 9-year-old submitted this with a better headline [Strange]

Tuesday 18 October 12:06:51 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The reason that lumpy cake you made yourself tastes better than anything you could buy from a bakery is the same reason it's so satisfying to lounge in the IKEA chair you built by yourself over the couch you bought at a furniture store [Obvious]

Tuesday 18 October 11:52:09 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » On the Drugstore Shelf

Tuesday 18 October 11:45:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » El Chapo: "Don't judge me" [Scary]

Tuesday 18 October 11:44:53 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Make Your Mornings Magical With Harry Potter-Esque Makeup Brushes

Tuesday 18 October 11:30:00 UTC 2016

Each brush looks like a different wand. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You think the Galaxy Note 7 fires are a big deal? You should have seen the giant explosions around Motorola [Scary]

Tuesday 18 October 11:02:22 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: A Transylvanian Sleepover

Tuesday 18 October 10:00:00 UTC 2016

Great links for your morning surfing! [Link]

FMyLife » bossproblems says FML

Tuesday 18 October 9:36:16 UTC 2016

Today, I found out how my salesmen are "entertaining" themselves since they were told they can't have their cell phones on them. They are pulling straws to see who will pretend to trip and fall face-first onto the floor in front of customers. FML [Link]

FMyLife » justmyluck5150 says FML

Tuesday 18 October 9:36:15 UTC 2016

Today, I told the doctor that one of my ribs sticks out farther than the other. When I lifted my shirt to show him, he immediately laughed and said, "Whoa, that's not subtle is it!" As if I wasn't already insecure about it. FML [Link]

FMyLife » StillAVirgin says FML

Tuesday 18 October 9:36:14 UTC 2016

Today, my boyfriend said, "One day I'll tell my children how I met you. I mean, our children." It's pretty cute, except for the fact that we're 17 and have been dating for only two weeks. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Here's Why We Crave Sugar So Much

Tuesday 18 October 9:00:00 UTC 2016

We know that too much of the sweet stuff is bad for us, but it's hard not to get hooked. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protip for drunks: Just go get drunk and STOP playing Pokemon Go [Dumbass]

Tuesday 18 October 8:27:00 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why PMS Makes Us Moody and Bloated

Tuesday 18 October 8:00:00 UTC 2016

It's not all in your head. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's genital warts originated from sex between humans and neanderthals, your mom [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 October 7:37:27 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protip: If you're a school security guard, make sure you don't leave your gun in the restroom [Fail]

Tuesday 18 October 7:30:00 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ryanair discovers yet another passenger fee it previously missed [Asinine]

Tuesday 18 October 7:07:34 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Premonition

Tuesday 18 October 6:47:34 UTC 2016

First-Sergeant Thomas Innes Woods, of Company B, was killed on May 8th [1864]. The first time that Sergeant Woods was ever known to ask permission to leave his post on march or in battle occurred this day, after the Regiment’s all-night march to reach Spottsylvania ahead of Lee. When it became evident that a battle was imminent, Sergeant Woods asked … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tired of all those clown attack articles and want to hear a positive story about an actual clown? Well, this isn't it [Creepy]

Tuesday 18 October 6:35:00 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 19th-Century Reproductions of Pompeii Art Featured in New Book

Tuesday 18 October 6:00:00 UTC 2016

In the 1850s, brothers Fausto and Felice Niccolini began methodically documenting excavations of Pompeii and publishing their work. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The circus would like you to stop calling this election a circus [Amusing]

Tuesday 18 October 3:50:53 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cow stampede sparked by pensioners dangling carrots out the back of a Nissan Micra [Amusing]

Tuesday 18 October 2:50:05 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Additional charges filed against foreigners who walked on Yellowstone hot spring to include taking commercial photos without permits, excessive dumbassness [Dumbass]

Tuesday 18 October 2:32:45 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » US high school graduations reach record high, surprising news as Subby thought he had record high at his 1970s HS graduation [Spiffy]

Tuesday 18 October 2:28:16 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Strangers form human chain to rescue man from his burning car. This being Florida though, the cops had to fight the driver to get him out before the car exploded (with video) [Hero]

Tuesday 18 October 2:06:27 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Whisky scientist seeks to revitalize Johnny Walker through organic chemistry, possibly be canonized as a saint by the Fark Pope [Hero]

Tuesday 18 October 1:56:26 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here is where you will read about the rise of the super gonorrhea. *HUGE CLAP* [Scary]

Tuesday 18 October 1:44:38 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brazilian inmates beheaded and burned to death in prison violence, although probably not in that order [Scary]

Tuesday 18 October 1:22:49 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » War-weary Libyans: Remember the good ol' days of peace and stability under Kadhafi? [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 October 1:01:00 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 of the Most Fascinating Cemeteries You Can Visit

Tuesday 18 October 1:00:00 UTC 2016

Whether you’re interested in rock ‘n’ roll, history, art, or medicine, the nameless or the famous, here's where to go. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's a look at the chaotic lawlessness and danger that is life along the longest border in the world (warning – video is graphic, eh?) [Scary]

Tuesday 18 October 0:39:11 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It should go without saying, but don't use a drone to shave your head [Obvious]

Tuesday 18 October 0:17:22 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this old fisherman and his helpers [Photoshop]

Tuesday 18 October 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

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