John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » The navy is quietly arming its supercarriers with anti-torpedo torpedoes. Can the anti-torpedo-torpedo torpedo be far behind? [Interesting]

Monday 17 October 23:55:33 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Painkiller addicts don't find babies cute, worrying doctors as well as Subby, who apparently should be taking horse tranquilizers or something [Interesting]

Monday 17 October 23:33:26 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In order to prevent it from becoming a neo-nazi shrine, Austrian officals are planning on demolishing the house in which Hitler was born. Fark: which, up until now, had been used a group home to care for the mentally disabled [Spiffy]

Monday 17 October 23:11:55 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 14 Facts About ‘The Last House on the Left’

Monday 17 October 23:10:59 UTC 2016

Master of horror Wes Craven directed more than two dozen films over the course of his 40-year career—and they all trace their roots back to 'The Last House on the Left.' [Link]

Mental Floss » Psychologists Say Micro-Managing May Shorten Employees’ Lifespans

Monday 17 October 23:00:00 UTC 2016

A forthcoming study found a link between autonomy at work, healthy habits, and living longer. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Got a $150 just burning a hole in your pocket? Great… what's the smallest nuke a person can carry? Just asking [Amusing]

Monday 17 October 22:50:06 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Larry Flynt offers $1 million for a tape of Donald Trump having sex. Eww [Creepy]

Monday 17 October 22:37:16 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Grave Sightings: Wyatt Earp

Monday 17 October 22:30:00 UTC 2016

No, he isn't buried in Tombstone, Arizona. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man convicted of shooting at George Zimmerman given twenty years, possibly for not hitting him [Florida]

Monday 17 October 22:18:49 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When you lock your keys in the house the chimney is not the answer [Dumbass]

Monday 17 October 22:00:21 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Crochet Carousel Turns an Art Exhibition Into a Playground

Monday 17 October 22:00:00 UTC 2016

The crochet artist Olek crafts a merry-go-round in Germany. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » From the 'No Thanks Buddy, I'm Good' Department – sleep a night at Dracula's castle in Transylvania this Halloween [Creepy]

Monday 17 October 21:41:54 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 3 Ways New Grads Can Build Good Credit From Nothing

Monday 17 October 21:30:00 UTC 2016

How do you build good credit when you're just starting out? Follow these steps. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What you should know about battle for Iraq. Basically, shiat has hit the fan and Iraq is actually acting like a coherent nation-state instead of a hodgepodge of warring factions just waiting to be beheaded by ISIS. So they've got that going for t

Monday 17 October 21:20:05 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Levitating Turntable Gives Retro Technology a Sci-Fi Spin

Monday 17 October 21:00:00 UTC 2016

MAG-LEV Audio uses magnetic levitation to achieve the futuristic effect. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NC Governor Pat McCrory turns 60 today. HB2 you, Governor [Amusing]

Monday 17 October 20:57:17 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Are you rubbing soap on your body with your hands during showers? YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. With helpful pic of someone you'd like to do it wrong with [Interesting]

Monday 17 October 20:50:05 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [208 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Winnie the Pooh has a new friend, The Penguin, which begs the question, how long before The Batman shows up in the Hundred Acre Wood [Cool]

Monday 17 October 20:41:30 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's always disconcerting when someone refuses to return your calls, especially if you're the Nobel Prize Committee [Strange]

Monday 17 October 20:20:06 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this loafing worker [Photoshop]

Monday 17 October 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » San Diego Farkers welcome a EuroFarker to America's Finest City [FarkParty]

Monday 17 October 19:55:07 UTC 2016

FarkParty [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » First creepy killer clowns sightings in Germany. You know who else was a creepy clown and a killer? [Scary]

Monday 17 October 19:50:05 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Pas de Deux

Monday 17 October 19:41:17 UTC 2016

In Pale Fire, Nabokov notes an “absolutely extraordinary, unbelievably elegant” verbal curiosity: A newspaper account of a Russian tsar’s coronation had, instead of korona (crown), the misprint vorona (crow), and when next day this was apologetically ‘corrected,’ it got misprinted a second time as korova (cow). “The artistic correlation between the crown-crow-cow series and the Russian korona–vorona–korova series is something … [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Do Chimpanzees Have Such Wrinkled Faces?

Monday 17 October 19:37:15 UTC 2016

Even as babies, they have a lot of wrinkles. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Drugstore

Monday 17 October 19:36:58 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Offbeat, Small-Town Festivals To Visit This Fall

Monday 17 October 19:36:53 UTC 2016

Mmmm, bacon and mushroom festivals. [Link]

Mental Floss » See the BBC's Vintage Instructions for Knitting the Perfect 'Doctor Who' Scarf

Monday 17 October 19:30:00 UTC 2016

In the '80s, fans who wanted a Doctor Who scarf couldn't order one online. They had to make it. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Middle and high schools around the U.S. are finally pushing back their morning start times, and it's working: "Look, I get that years ago we all walked 100 miles in the snow to school both ways. But we know a lot more now about the adolescent

Monday 17 October 19:29:43 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [159 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There was a three-way on the stage of The Price is Right today [Spiffy]

Monday 17 October 19:20:05 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 Magical Harry Potter Halloween Festivals for Wizards and Muggles

Monday 17 October 19:00:00 UTC 2016

Hogwarts letter got lost in the mail? Don't worry: You can still experience Halloween the Harry Potter way by visiting one of these events. [Link]

Mental Floss » Is Eating Organic Really Better for You and the Environment?

Monday 17 October 18:45:00 UTC 2016

In short, the jury’s still out. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: Orange you glad we didn't say Trump? [FarkBlog]

Monday 17 October 18:39:02 UTC 2016

FarkBlog [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The World’s Longest Cruise Hits All 7 Continents in 357 Days

Monday 17 October 18:30:00 UTC 2016

It only costs $155,000. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man smashes ex-girlfriend's vibrator after getting jealous over it (not safe for work) [Dumbass]

Monday 17 October 18:20:06 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Listen to Shirley Jackson Read Her Spooky Story ‘The Lottery’

Monday 17 October 17:30:00 UTC 2016

Celebrate Halloween in literary style. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The last King of Rwanda has died. He spent his final years on public assistance, living in subsidized housing in a DC suburb [Weird]

Monday 17 October 17:29:40 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [81 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » HRomero says FML

Monday 17 October 17:19:09 UTC 2016

Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he got me fired. Looks like my calendar is clear. FML [Link]

FMyLife » dez says FML

Monday 17 October 17:19:08 UTC 2016

Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't have an email, I have a Gmail." FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Twins Conjoined at the Head Separated After 27 Hours of Surgery

Monday 17 October 17:15:00 UTC 2016

Their condition occurs once in every 2.5 million births. [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Bizarre Rooms at Wind Cave National Park

Monday 17 October 17:00:00 UTC 2016

If you discover it, you get to name it. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Christmas Goat returns, laughs in the face of almost certain destruction [Cool]

Monday 17 October 16:50:04 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Presidential Doodles Up for Sale in Historic Manuscript Auction

Monday 17 October 16:30:00 UTC 2016

There are also handwritten, signed letters from everyone from Hemingway to James Garfield. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Party angers balcony [Obvious]

Monday 17 October 16:20:05 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » One Gene Mutation Links Three Mysterious, Debilitating Diseases

Monday 17 October 16:15:00 UTC 2016

Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, and Mast Cell Activation Syndrome are so obscure that most doctors have never heard of them. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This day in 1777, Patriots are victorious at Saratoga, move to 1-0 in the Revolutionary War League [Interesting]

Monday 17 October 16:07:46 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Gallup poll says 17% of Americans cite the economy as the nation's top problem. More scary is the other 83% have found something even worse to worry about [Fail]

Monday 17 October 15:44:50 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [212 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Least-Authentic Native-American Motifs Ever

Monday 17 October 15:40:27 UTC 2016

Original ad here. [Link]

Weird Universe » Moby-Dick?

Monday 17 October 15:37:00 UTC 2016

One of the great mysteries in American literature is the title of Herman Melville's 1851 novel, Moby-Dick. Or is it Moby Dick? Should the title be hyphenated, or not?

The first American edition had a hyphen in the title. But confusingly, inside the book the whale was referred to as Moby Dick, without a hyphen — except for one single … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: SteelSeries 9H Gaming Headset. A little cheaper on Amazon. Game enthusiasts, Is it worth the cost at either price? (Sponsored Link) [Plug]

Monday 17 October 15:36:50 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [7 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Start the Week With These Amazing Monday Amazon Deals

Monday 17 October 15:32:05 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, October 17. [Link]

Mental Floss » Google News Now Offers a Fact Check Feature

Monday 17 October 15:30:00 UTC 2016

Discerning truth from lies on the internet just got a little easier. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some dogs just love to take car rides, some like to clock 700,000 km in the back of a ute [Spiffy]

Monday 17 October 15:21:02 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Lesser-Known Caribbean Islands You Should Visit

Monday 17 October 15:20:14 UTC 2016

It's time to start planning sunny, sand-filled winter getaways. [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Fair Trade Products to Try This Month

Monday 17 October 15:20:13 UTC 2016

There are plenty of ethically sourced products to take the pumpkin-spiced edge off the changing seasons. [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 of History's Most Notable Mothers-in-Law

Monday 17 October 15:20:12 UTC 2016

When poet Dylan Thomas passed away, his mother-in-law ordered his papers burned. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today in stuff we already knew: Shep Smith comes out as being gay [Spiffy]

Monday 17 October 14:43:03 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [142 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Grigori Rasputin Memorial Bridge finally comes down, Obama finds a solution to closing Guantanamo, and playing the national anthem on third downs: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/9 – 10/15 [FarkBlog]

Monday 17 October 14:40:43 UTC 2016

FarkBlog [link] [3 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 4PM Group Meeting

Monday 17 October 14:32:41 UTC 2016

Group Manager: Just to let you know, your boss went to go get his AIDS shot for his travel to India.
Co-worker: What I don’t understand is, why don’t we all get the AIDS shot?
Group Manager: Um, that was a joke. 440 9th Avenue
New York, NY Overheard by: John Leffler [Link]

Mental Floss » How 10 Iconic Movie Monsters Were Created

Monday 17 October 14:30:00 UTC 2016

A random strip of fish skin attached to an actor's nose helped create one of Hollywood's most memorable movie monsters. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For those of you who predicted a Trump TV network after the election, come claim your prize [Obvious]

Monday 17 October 14:08:05 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [188 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Italian Vineyard Installs Free-Flowing Wine Fountain

Monday 17 October 13:30:00 UTC 2016

The attraction dispenses vino around the clock. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 86-year-old woman loves running 5K races, chasing you off her lawn [Cool]

Monday 17 October 13:20:05 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these pop-up kitchen outlets [Photoshop]

Monday 17 October 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Arizona Republic responds to all the death threats it's received since endorsing Hillary Clinton [Followup]

Monday 17 October 12:50:04 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [235 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 of Evel Knievel’s Most Memorable Stunts

Monday 17 October 12:30:00 UTC 2016

The world-famous daredevil broke a lot of bones during his quest for greatness. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Posting a video of yourself letting a 7-year-old drive a car will make it easy for child protective services to find you [Asinine]

Monday 17 October 12:17:42 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 126: The Great Australian Poetry Hoax

Monday 17 October 12:03:09 UTC 2016


In 1943, fed up with modernist poetry, two Australian servicemen invented a fake poet and submitted a collection of deliberately senseless verses to a Melbourne arts magazine. To their delight, they were accepted and their author hailed as “one of the most remarkable and important poetic figures of this country.” In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So what are the woolly worms saying about winter this year? Well they have bad news for you [Scary]

Monday 17 October 11:50:06 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just because you're the manager of a Pizza Hut, that doesn't mean you can tell your employees that they follow a stupid religion because they can't eat pork [Obvious]

Monday 17 October 11:20:05 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [268 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Drugstore

Monday 17 October 11:15:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » Artist Creates Embroidered Works That Perfectly Balance Life and Death

Monday 17 October 11:00:00 UTC 2016

Perfect for your Halloween shopping list. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Hampshire decides to chuck big, mindless, orange thing [Amusing]

Monday 17 October 10:02:34 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Creepy Vintage Clowns

Monday 17 October 9:30:00 UTC 2016

22 Pictures That Prove Clowns Have Always Been Scary. Adults used to find great pleasure in traumatizing children.
*
The 10 Greatest Supernatural Stephen King Villains. Relive the terror all over again.
*
The Civil War's Worst Cup of Coffee. The Essence of Coffee was a bright idea that turned out awful.
*
Extremely Weird and Confusing Illustrations from a … [Link]

FMyLife » LittleLou says FML

Monday 17 October 8:56:02 UTC 2016

Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend broke up with me. She immediately asked if it was because I didn't put out. I'm 15. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Leading British UFO expert found dead in Poland days after asking his mother to ensure she demanded an investigation in the event something happened to him [Creepy]

Monday 17 October 8:30:11 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Green's slang dictionary is finally online for those of you who need to speak the same lingo as your home skillets [PSA]

Monday 17 October 8:19:32 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Airplane Windows Aren't Always Aligned With Passenger Seats

Monday 17 October 7:30:00 UTC 2016

Airline companies consider many factors while arranging seats, but your view isn't high on the list. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » El Chapo might be tossed on a mail plane to the US to face a plethora of charges [Followup]

Monday 17 October 7:24:29 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Live near the Great Lakes? Got a boat and a fishing pole? You may catch a fish worth $200,000 [Sad]

Monday 17 October 7:12:30 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Student charged for slapping police horse, parking ox illegally [Dumbass]

Monday 17 October 7:05:29 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman charged with armed robbery, felony second-degree murder, and wearing earrings that resemble miniature hula-hoops [Florida]

Monday 17 October 6:51:20 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman wins the right to keep her boyfriend's testicles even after death [Creepy]

Monday 17 October 6:25:29 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Those big doors at the fire department are a great place to lean when you need a nap. Until they're not [Sad]

Monday 17 October 6:18:30 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Second oldest captive panda moves up one spot [Sad]

Monday 17 October 6:05:56 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [6 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This was the worst day in history for Aleppo [Scary]

Monday 17 October 5:59:31 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In Australia even the artwork can kill you [Scary]

Monday 17 October 5:52:20 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Texas A

Monday 17 October 5:30:00 UTC 2016

They're solar powered. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 175-tonne jade stone uncovered in Myanmar [Interesting]

Monday 17 October 4:02:49 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If your erection should get stuck in a bottle, please seek help immediately before it turns black [Scary]

Monday 17 October 3:47:44 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What do you need for a good night's sleep? Experts say buy a cheapo mattress, go to bed late and give your pillows to the cat. That work for you? [PSA]

Monday 17 October 2:52:37 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Note to winos: Throw your cheap-ass bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 wine into a blender and presto–you have an expensive vintage of Chateau Lafite [Spiffy]

Monday 17 October 2:13:43 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » News of the Weird (October 16, 2016)

Monday 17 October 1:48:36 UTC 2016

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M497, October 16, 2016
Copyright 2016 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

John Weigel and Olaf Danielson are engaged in a frenzied battle of "extreme birdwatching," hoping to close out 2016 as the new North American champ of the American Birding Association, and a September Smithsonian piece had Weigel ahead, 763-759. Danielson is perhaps … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Retired engineer voluntarily fixes dangerous stretches of wilderness cycling trails in B.C., is taken to court by Canadian government to force him to stop: "These are goat tracks, and if somebody falls they could roll down a 400-500 foot slope&#3

Monday 17 October 1:27:31 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you bought your carbon monoxide detector off Amazon or eBay, better contact them pronto, assuming you're still alive [Scary]

Monday 17 October 1:09:41 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Tuesday on American Experience: 'Tesla'

Monday 17 October 0:30:00 UTC 2016

All about the "patron saint of geeks." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Tennis Match – Graveyard Shift edition [Photoshop]

Monday 17 October 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [39 comments] [Link]

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