John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Somehow an outhouse-turned-voting booth seems appropriate this election cycle [Amusing]

Thursday 6 October 23:50:04 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man whose Domino's pizza never arrived is awarded a refund by the court. Fark: $1,200 [Followup]

Thursday 6 October 23:35:04 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The BBC Halloween Hoax That Traumatized Viewers

Thursday 6 October 23:30:00 UTC 2016

A 1992 broadcast of a supposedly haunted house led to documented cases of PTSD in young viewers. [Link]

Mental Floss » Conflict in Syria Shuts Down the Aleppo Seed Vault

Thursday 6 October 23:23:56 UTC 2016

Scientists are now readying sister sites in Lebanon and Morocco. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meet Little Timmy. Little Timmy is five years old. Little Timmy's mommy posted everything about him online. Now Little Timmy has three offshore bank accounts, 15 maxed-out credit cards, two pickup trucks, and 4 years of unpaid child support [Fail

Thursday 6 October 23:20:04 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Herd of coin-operated department store ponies returned to their native grazing lands [Sappy]

Thursday 6 October 23:05:04 UTC 2016

Sappy [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Howling Facts About ‘The Wolf Man’

Thursday 6 October 23:00:00 UTC 2016

One of Universal's most beloved horror movies was just as fascinating behind the scenes. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Only one step left after this: kiss your ass goodbye [Ironic]

Thursday 6 October 22:50:04 UTC 2016

Ironic [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We have reached peak Florida. And The Smoking Gun is there [Florida]

Thursday 6 October 22:34:04 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Archaeologists Find Man Buried With Shroud of Cannabis Leaves

Thursday 6 October 22:23:41 UTC 2016

People have been decorating their bodies with pot leaves way before you bought that "I <3 420" T-shirt at the mall. > [Link]

Mental Floss » Interactive Map Gives Wi-Fi Codes of Airports Around the World

Thursday 6 October 22:23:40 UTC 2016

Free Wi-Fi for all! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Behold, the 6th seal has been broken: a single page Cracked article [Scary]

Thursday 6 October 22:14:04 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Ewing Mansion From ‘Dallas’ Is Up for Sale

Thursday 6 October 22:00:00 UTC 2016

The $12.95 million price tag is fit for an oil magnate. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » High school senior working on Photoshop certification superimposes clown behind tree with his school as backdrop, tweets it out to friends. Hilarity ensues [Florida]

Thursday 6 October 21:50:04 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Friendly deer named Doug captured by wildlife officers in Arkansas town, taken to "remote location" [Sad]

Thursday 6 October 21:37:33 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Game-Changing Hispanic Scientists You Didn’t Learn About In School

Thursday 6 October 21:30:00 UTC 2016

From groundbreaking biologists and physicists to innovators in the fields of medicine, botany, and more, here are 10 great minds you probably didn't learn about in school. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Iraqi Minister explains the new airport location was chosen for its ideal weather conditions, which the aliens knew about when they built the world's first airport there 7000 years ago [Unlikely]

Thursday 6 October 21:15:44 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Hurricane Matthew Will Slam Florida Tonight

Thursday 6 October 21:15:00 UTC 2016

Be careful out there, Florida. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: Garden 101 aftermath- You've got fresh produce picked or soon to be harvested.. Now what? Keeping it fresh to use right away or are you preserving some? Show us the goodies [Interesting]

Thursday 6 October 21:00:00 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Humans Will Never Live Past 115 Years Old, Study Argues

Thursday 6 October 21:00:00 UTC 2016

A controversial new study finds that humanity may have already reached the peak of its natural lifespan. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man goes to jail for life for dealing drugs to pay for his son's bone marrow transplant. Obama commutes his sentence, and he's freed. Two weeks later, he's in Christian "jail" [Facepalm]

Thursday 6 October 20:45:44 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [156 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Airbags May Be Safer Than Helmets for Bicyclists

Thursday 6 October 20:30:00 UTC 2016

Don't like wearing a helmet? Soon, you may not have to. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hurricane Matthew discussion thread. Stay safe and don't leave the house [Live]

Thursday 6 October 20:21:02 UTC 2016

Live [link] [819 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hurricane Matthew makes a 90 degree turn rather than have to decide which bathroom to use in North Carolina [Amusing]

Thursday 6 October 20:20:05 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: Wine essentials – corkscrew and pourer in a retro cylinder case that looks straight out of an old J. Peterman catalog or Joe vs. the Volcano movie. Quality / price? ehhh… *smokebomb* (Sponsored Link) [Plug]

Thursday 6 October 20:16:20 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [4 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lots of court drama here over a collectible 1970s Speed Buggy lunchbox [Strange]

Thursday 6 October 20:09:04 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this sign-holder [Photoshop]

Thursday 6 October 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » You Can Now Buy Hello Kitty Wine in the U.S.

Thursday 6 October 19:48:04 UTC 2016

The line includes a sparkling rosé and a sparkling white wine. [Link]

Mental Floss » Amazon Prime Offers New Perks for Book and Video Game Lovers

Thursday 6 October 19:48:03 UTC 2016

They're called Prime Reading and Twitch Prime, respectively. [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 Money Mantras That Financial Planners Always Follow

Thursday 6 October 19:48:02 UTC 2016

Financial planners share the rules that they keep for themselves. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dad gets arrested after stealing someone else's purse in the waiting room while he's visiting critically injured son in ICU. Both dad and son were victims of assault during a home invasion [Asinine]

Thursday 6 October 19:45:04 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's a roundup of the most bizarre objects surgeons have found up people's asses (SFW) [Scary]

Thursday 6 October 19:38:34 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Amazon is Running Some Great Thursday Deals

Thursday 6 October 19:33:37 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, October 6. [Link]

Mental Floss » Thousands Gather in Catalonia, Spain for Human Tower Competition

Thursday 6 October 19:30:00 UTC 2016

Human tower-building is the ultimate team sport. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » People staying behind to ride out Matthew reminded to write their social security number on at least one major body part with magic marker [Scary]

Thursday 6 October 19:16:45 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Looks like Putin really wants some attention and probably to be a bit taller [Amusing]

Thursday 6 October 18:46:45 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gunfight at the BK Corral, featuring renowned firearms expert Wyatt Derp [Murica]

Thursday 6 October 18:38:14 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Skeleton of a 19th-Century British Man Reveals He Wore a Corset

Thursday 6 October 18:30:00 UTC 2016

Medicine and fashion may have collided in this tuberculosis treatment. [Link]

Mental Floss » Beer Yeasts Are Surprisingly Diverse, Study Finds

Thursday 6 October 18:25:00 UTC 2016

They're a lot more diverse than wine yeasts, which may be evidence of how inventive early beer-makers were. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turns out there IS an upside to the massive increase in overdose deaths [Awkward]

Thursday 6 October 18:20:05 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Marine is Learning to Live with a Double Arm Transplant

Thursday 6 October 18:15:00 UTC 2016

An IED took all four of his limbs. A team of 12 surgeons needed 14 hours to replace two of them. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study: Marijuana use that begins early in life leads to abnormal brain function, compulsive posting on Fark [Interesting]

Thursday 6 October 18:05:39 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [191 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Study Finds That Plant Emits the Scent of an Injured Honeybee to Lure Flies

Thursday 6 October 18:01:00 UTC 2016

Plants are liars. There, we said it. All right, fine, not all plants. But a lot of them. [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Women Changing the Future of Robotics

Thursday 6 October 18:00:00 UTC 2016

Look to these brilliant women for what to expect from the robots of tomorrow. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ancient Mayan codex found to be the oldest document from the Americas, just barely surpassing Larry King's birth certificate [Spiffy]

Thursday 6 October 17:43:50 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Professional clown performing group start "Clown lives matter" in hopes of quenching fear of the creepy bastards [Creepy]

Thursday 6 October 17:17:10 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [97 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Pissed.Off.Mom. says FML

Thursday 6 October 17:16:56 UTC 2016

Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Hello, this is Joseph from the U.S. Tax Department, and I am calling because you are delinquent in your–hold on, someone is at the door" [Spiffy]

Thursday 6 October 17:07:40 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Common NSAID Used for Period Pain May Reverse Memory Loss in Alzheimer’s

Thursday 6 October 16:53:36 UTC 2016

The drug restored memory function in mice. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Hands

Thursday 6 October 16:53:29 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » You Could Win a Night in a Taco Bell Airbnb

Thursday 6 October 16:45:00 UTC 2016

Grab three of your friends and eat all the Doubledillas you can handle. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russia says US diplomats were not Litvinenko-ed, they just Winehoused themselves [Unlikely]

Thursday 6 October 16:41:00 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Singapore aquarium didn't learn a lesson from Steve Irwin [Scary]

Thursday 6 October 16:38:33 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Julia Child Got a White House State Dinner on Television

Thursday 6 October 16:30:00 UTC 2016

In 1968, 'White House Red Carpet with Julia Child' went behind the scenes of the White House kitchen. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Doesn't matter what we do, we'll never live past 125 years. So, you might as well stop exercising once you reach 100 [Interesting]

Thursday 6 October 16:20:04 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [198 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Norway's Prime Minister caught playing Pokemon Go during a session parliament. But what even happens in Norway anyway? [Silly]

Thursday 6 October 15:50:05 UTC 2016

Silly [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Farm-Fresh Facts About 'Green Acres'

Thursday 6 October 15:30:00 UTC 2016

From 1965 to 1971, the classic TV series was the place to be. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Head Dildonian Ammon Bundy defends his aviary siege in court, saying it was a peaceful action to try and gather support for his imaginary cause [Followup]

Thursday 6 October 15:20:04 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [211 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Was September So Hot?

Thursday 6 October 15:00:00 UTC 2016

The weather this year hasn’t followed the rules. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Donald Trump sure has starred in a lot of softcore porn [Followup]

Thursday 6 October 14:50:05 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [144 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » With a month to go, Hillary Clinton stretches her lead to 10 points. Trump reacts by calling all American women fat and challenging Rosie O'Donnell to a duel [Obvious]

Thursday 6 October 14:50:04 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [336 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 3D Reconstruction Provides a Glimpse of Pre-Vesuvius Pompeii

Thursday 6 October 14:30:00 UTC 2016

Take a tour of an opulent house untouched by the historic natural disaster. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "It was at that point my boyfriend got out the barbecue tongs to try and remove the vibrator from my bum" [Probably not safe for work] [Giggity]

Thursday 6 October 13:50:05 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [180 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 World Famous Historical Hats

Thursday 6 October 13:30:00 UTC 2016

Such is the power of a good hat that certain styles have become intrinsically linked with famous individuals. [Link]

Weird Universe » Attempts record for fasting

Thursday 6 October 13:18:27 UTC 2016

Raymond Tac begins attempt to set world record for fasting
February 1931: Fifty days into a fasting contest, Alf Wilson, of England, had to withdraw from the contest on the advice of his doctor. This left Raymond Tac, of New Zealand, the winner.

However, Tac was eager to keep fasting. So soon after he launched into an attempt to break his … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Black and Blue Apron [Scary]

Thursday 6 October 13:06:09 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this interesting perspective [Photoshop]

Thursday 6 October 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scary clowns forget that Maine is the home of Pennywise and that Maine has dealt with this shiat before [Amusing]

Thursday 6 October 12:57:50 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man sentenced to three years in prison for stealing U.S. corn secrets from Monsanto [Followup]

Thursday 6 October 12:33:50 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sorry folks, Florida is closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya [Florida]

Thursday 6 October 12:33:02 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [304 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Hands

Thursday 6 October 12:15:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do, commas, still, matter,? Subby, is, asking, for, a, friend [Obvious]

Thursday 6 October 12:09:50 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Inside of This Iranian Mosque Looks Like it Belongs in Emerald City

Thursday 6 October 12:00:00 UTC 2016

Shāh Chérāgh is decorated with shards of glass and mirrors. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Looks like I picked the wrong week to start eating paint [Fail]

Thursday 6 October 11:45:50 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russian TV channel issues warning to citizens that nuclear war with the West could be imminent [Scary]

Thursday 6 October 11:13:49 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [143 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » RickTooBomb says FML

Thursday 6 October 10:36:41 UTC 2016

Today, I was working as a valet when an old guy came up and wanted us to park his car. He said he had an accident. We looked in the car and saw poop all over the seat. We still had to park the car. FML [Link]

FMyLife » onlyolivia says FML

Thursday 6 October 10:36:40 UTC 2016

Today, I finally got the courage to ask my boss why the flowers I got her for her birthday the other day were in the conference room and not her office. She told me she was allergic to them and she had such a bad reaction that it made her go home early. I made my boss sick on her … [Link]

Weird Universe » Stabbed by Beauty

Thursday 6 October 10:32:00 UTC 2016

Original ad here.

[Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Elvira’s Crazy Memories

Thursday 6 October 10:30:00 UTC 2016

Get your hot links right here! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tennessee mom is outraged that her child learns something. That's not what she expects from the Tennessee school system [Dumbass]

Thursday 6 October 10:08:24 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [243 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 LGBT Leaders Reinventing Science and Technology

Thursday 6 October 9:30:00 UTC 2016

LGBT role models are vital to helping the sometimes homogeneous worlds of science, math, engineering, and technology feel more welcoming to young researchers and inventors. Here are just a few to look up to. [Link]

Mental Floss » How to Tell Whether You Have a Cold or the Flu

Thursday 6 October 8:30:00 UTC 2016

Know when to stay home in bed and when to stock up on cough drops. [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 African American Inventors Who Changed the World

Thursday 6 October 7:30:00 UTC 2016

Get to know the brilliant minds that brought you blood banks, personal computers, touch-tone telephones, and more. [Link]

Futility Closet » Backup

Thursday 6 October 6:37:28 UTC 2016

On D-Day, Dwight Eisenhower carried this note in his wallet: Our landings in the Cherbourg-Havre have failed to gain a satisfactory foothold and I have withdrawn the troops. My decision to attack at this time and place was based upon the best information available. The troops, the air and the Navy did all that bravery and devotion to duty could … [Link]

Mental Floss » Artist Recreates Childhood Toys Entirely Out of Clay

Thursday 6 October 6:30:00 UTC 2016

Artist Kristen Morgin's sculptures look like forgotten discards rather than careful replicas. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » International divisions of Taco Bell offer seemingly tastier items like kimchi quesadilla, tikka masala burrito, and gordita with fries and tzatziki sauce. "Japan was represented by the Shrimp & Avocado Burrito" [Obvious]

Thursday 6 October 6:05:00 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 STEM Fields That Make Diversity a Priority

Thursday 6 October 5:30:00 UTC 2016

These science-, tech-, engineering-, and math-related industries are paving the way for a more equitable workforce. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Forget it, Jake. It's Fox News [Asinine]

Thursday 6 October 4:22:00 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [257 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Indian authorities capture pair of Pakistani spy pigeons before they could plot coo [Strange]

Thursday 6 October 4:02:19 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 596: "The Fungus Among Us". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 6 October 4:01:00 UTC 2016

Farktography [link] [46 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » martin1022 says FML

Thursday 6 October 3:44:45 UTC 2016

Today, recent construction has created a manhole that cars slam over every single morning. This normally starts at 4 a.m. as people make their early commute on my busy street. With every car that hits it, there's a huge echoing slamming noise. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch These Sisters Create Awesome Spontaneous Pop Songs in ASL

Thursday 6 October 3:30:00 UTC 2016

This video of Shaylee just sitting on the bed making up songs with her little sister Ivy shows the joyful, spontaneous side of language play that anyone with little girls will recognize. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mall of America, normally the epitome of consumerism run amok, takes a stand by closing on Thanksgiving [Hero]

Thursday 6 October 3:03:48 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Natural Facts About Kiehl’s

Thursday 6 October 2:48:31 UTC 2016

The brand has amassed a dedicated following over the last 165 years—one free sample at a time. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark-ready headline: Toilet paper addicted kangaroo returns to public restroom for another helping [Strange]

Thursday 6 October 2:29:53 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » British man solves 'world's smallest Rubik's cube' with a tweezers. Well, how else can you get those tiny little stickers off? [Cool]

Thursday 6 October 2:15:46 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bees, trained by scientists who have never watched a thing on Syfy, can teach other bees new skills [Scary]

Thursday 6 October 1:41:29 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If aliens do invade, they are not invading as tiny green spiders. C'mon man [Amusing]

Thursday 6 October 1:07:12 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Looks like more than one governor was involved in the GW Bridge lane closures. Both sides are bad so please stay in your lane [Followup]

Thursday 6 October 0:48:25 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Darwin hangs ten with subway surfer on the F Train in NYC. Comes away with a good score, not so much for the subway surfer [Dumbass]

Thursday 6 October 0:32:55 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this dropping [Photoshop]

Thursday 6 October 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » International Wildlife Conference Declines to Increase Protection of African Lions

Thursday 6 October 0:00:00 UTC 2016

The 182 countries in attendance failed to pass a total ban on the trade of lion parts. [Link]

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