John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Try not to spend your five cent raise all in one place [Interesting]

Saturday 1 October 22:32:49 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Officer who killed Terence Crutcher pleads not guilty, claims she had to shoot him because she was temporarily deaf [Facepalm]

Saturday 1 October 22:13:18 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [334 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Excuse me store owner, how much for the dead people?" [Creepy]

Saturday 1 October 21:40:08 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Most Distinctive Last Names by State

Saturday 1 October 21:12:32 UTC 2016

The results reflect each state’s demographics and immigration history. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New reports reveal MH370 should never have flown, increasing CNN's news boner to such lengths they can't even report on it [Followup]

Saturday 1 October 21:08:52 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's the largest prison strike in history and likely the first you're hearing about it [Interesting]

Saturday 1 October 21:06:52 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We've been over this many times before, but once again let us remind you that if you're going to pretend to be a police officer, you may not want to try and pull over a real cop [Dumbass]

Saturday 1 October 20:42:01 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this red light district [Photoshop]

Saturday 1 October 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Double Down begat the Zest Citrus Wings which begat the Doritos Locos Taco which begat the hot dog-stuffed pizza crust [Sick]

Saturday 1 October 19:27:32 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » With ISIS contained and drugs eradicated, the government wages its newest war. On pudding. Fark: Not America [Interesting]

Saturday 1 October 18:46:54 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Audience member asks a question of speaker, and then attempts to reply to the speaker. Armed guards haul off the audience member and arrest an intervening librarian. Librarian? Yes, this happened at a public library [Scary]

Saturday 1 October 18:28:21 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [171 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Monument dedicated to the Staten Island Ferry giant octopus attack [Cool]

Saturday 1 October 18:14:14 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man steals a dozen cars to impress meth addicted son. What a meth-take [Dumbass]

Saturday 1 October 17:06:20 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shut up and take my money, dude…and do you happen to have any munchies? [Murica]

Saturday 1 October 16:44:21 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The police fulfill a 102-year-old woman's fantasy of being arrested [Amusing]

Saturday 1 October 16:30:12 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Today NOAA Adds Solar Storms to the Weather Forecast

Saturday 1 October 16:30:00 UTC 2016

The Space Weather Prediction Center can give a heads-up of about 45 minutes that a solar storm will affect some specific place on Earth. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How can a missing 55-gallon barrel be worth $1,565,000? Simple – it contains 86 pounds of gold [Fail]

Saturday 1 October 15:33:10 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Get the Weekend's Best Amazon Deals While You Can

Saturday 1 October 15:30:00 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, October 1. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Missing your mail in Tennessee? You might want to check your postal worker's house [Followup]

Saturday 1 October 15:01:09 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Take away my legroom, charge me for carry-ons, but don't you dare run out of free booze inside your exclusive airport lounge [Asinine]

Saturday 1 October 14:40:00 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » My jingle has a first name, it's R-I-C-H-A-R-D. My jingle has a second name it's T-R-E-N-T-L-A-G-E [Sad]

Saturday 1 October 14:35:16 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Famous Birthdays to Celebrate in October

Saturday 1 October 14:30:00 UTC 2016

You might share a birthday with one of these famous folk. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Saturday Morning Book Club is looking for some advice on a good "how to" book. Which one(s) helped you the most? [Interesting]

Saturday 1 October 14:00:00 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [128 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Cora Gated

Saturday 1 October 13:44:17 UTC 2016

The Box Vox blog offers a detailed history of Cora Gated, who was the corporate mascot adopted by Hinde & Dauch (a box maker) in the 1950s. She was a woman wearing only a corrugated box. Or was she somehow supposed to be a box that had become a woman?

Gastonia Gazette – Aug 23, 1955
It turns out that Cora … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The good news is you can still settle on unclaimed land not ruled by a government. The bad news is the land exists on a strip of desert between Egypt and Sudan [Interesting]

Saturday 1 October 13:44:02 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Eventually Bruce Willis Realized They Couldn't Hear Him

Saturday 1 October 13:43:35 UTC 2016

Coworker #1 to coworkers #2 and #3, about their attire: You guys are opposites today. Actually, you cancel each other out. You're, like, invisible! (looks around) Wh… Wh… Where'd they go? Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Overheard by: what a spectacle… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Could internet pranksters be behind all the creepy clown sightings? [Obvious]

Saturday 1 October 13:18:08 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Size Matters

Saturday 1 October 13:14:52 UTC 2016

In June 1917, the California Olive Association adopted the following rather terrifying size designations: Olives counting 120-135 olives per pound: Standard
Olives counting 105-120 olives per pound: Medium
Olives counting 90-105 olives per pound: Large
Olives counting 75-90 olives per pound: Extra Large
Olives counting 65-75 olives per pound: Mammoth
Olives counting 55-65 olives per pound: Colossal
Olives counting 45-55 … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this room with a view [Photoshop]

Saturday 1 October 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Student manhandled, arrested over stealing "free" milk [Asinine]

Saturday 1 October 12:42:14 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NYC police finally catch the yodeling suspect who made death threats on police radios and some police-impersonating robbers in an unrelated case …all with just one arrest. That's some fine police work, Lou [Interesting]

Saturday 1 October 12:33:07 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not so good: four tiny kittens experience a rough and tumble introduction to life after being born in an industrial dryer. Better: they are safely rescued. Best: being reunited with their mother in time for Caturday [Caturday]

Saturday 1 October 12:00:52 UTC 2016

Caturday [link] [683 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hurricane Matthew is a Category 5 storm, will wreak havoc on Caribbean. Will the U.S. be next? [Scary]

Saturday 1 October 11:22:02 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » LSD for Housewives

Saturday 1 October 11:20:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » Simple Kits Let You Make Your Own Smart Camera, Speaker, or Light Show

Saturday 1 October 10:30:00 UTC 2016

Kano's kits are easy enough for kids—or adults—to use without any help. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dear Deidre, my best friend got me to sleep with her fella just for fun, but now the joke's on her because I'm falling for him for the fabulous sex [Giggity]

Saturday 1 October 10:25:14 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [46 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Stroke Harder! We Have to Get This Canoe Back Before Dinner!

Saturday 1 October 8:34:44 UTC 2016

boy scouts dirty jokes Pie Chart - 5907378176 Graph by: Kittyrah Tagged: boy scouts , dirty jokes , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Choose Wisely

Saturday 1 October 8:34:33 UTC 2016

eating food money obesity venn diagram Graph by: hornbill-guy Tagged: eating , food , money , obesity , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » An Hour of Matthew McConaughey Watching Rain, Sipping Coffee

Saturday 1 October 8:30:00 UTC 2016

This is the "slow video" you've been looking for. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is your dog's Halloween costume sexist? [Silly]

Saturday 1 October 8:28:00 UTC 2016

Silly [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: The Tide Turns Against Romania

Saturday 1 October 7:26:29 UTC 2016

Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 251st installment in the series. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark-ready headline: "Mad Frenchman dumps a load from his heavy balls all over Apple store's iPhone 7s" [Amusing]

Saturday 1 October 7:23:09 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman calls Pasadena(CA) Police to report bi-polar African American boyfriend is acting erratically, cops find him with knife & fire extinguisher. Can you guess what happend next? Level Of Difficulty: not crowned Rose Queen [Obvious]

Saturday 1 October 7:07:48 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hacker gives commuters a thrill with porn video on digital billboard. That commute is so long and hard, it's always slow down and speed up, until you finally finish on the offramp [Amusing]

Saturday 1 October 6:09:51 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Czech Church Saved by Spirits

Saturday 1 October 6:00:00 UTC 2016

The village of Lukova is proud of their ghosts. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ohio resident wasn't expecting pulp in her orange juice. She didn't get it either [Sick]

Saturday 1 October 5:08:11 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Forget the Paris climate agreement, scientists now say the only way to stay below 2 degrees is a far more 'radical change' before 2050 [Obvious]

Saturday 1 October 4:46:46 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » California's Chances of Having a Major Earthquake Next Week Just Went Up

Saturday 1 October 4:21:53 UTC 2016

Local seismologists might feel their hearts racing. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Forget Noah's Ark. This park has everything, including Confederates fighting dinosaurs [Amusing]

Saturday 1 October 4:13:58 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Offbeat Holidays You Can Celebrate in October

Saturday 1 October 4:00:00 UTC 2016

Between your Pumpkin Spice Latte runs and horror movie marathons, see if you can squeeze in a few of these unconventional celebrations. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Great Dane who ate girl's pants among 11 finalists for 'Hambone' insurance award [Amusing]

Saturday 1 October 3:59:39 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists have just documented the first case of Zika spreading through physical contact. Lather, rinse, repeat [Scary]

Saturday 1 October 3:38:11 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Over 8% of the population of Norway eats tacos every Friday; meanwhile, Mexico reports no plans to engage in reciprocal lutefisk consumption [Interesting]

Saturday 1 October 3:38:10 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » India attacks across the Line of Control, 2 Pakistan soldiers killed, 1000 villages evacuated, but hey, it's not like they are going to start a war [Followup]

Saturday 1 October 3:24:53 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who punched 5 day-old baby in the face, then claimed he thought it was a doll, was in court today. Says, I'm a family man and I was horrified that I'd punched a real baby. Ok, it was weird that I'd still want to punch some stranger&#3

Saturday 1 October 3:24:53 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark: Man punches wife after she exposes her breasts to another man. Farker: The man was her doctor. Farkest: She was breastfeeding her newborn son. Bonus: He also slapped the baby [Dumbass]

Saturday 1 October 3:21:51 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How awesome is Albert Einstein? He helped bring electricity to the oldest and most traditional Oktoberfest tent in Munich that's still standing [Spiffy]

Saturday 1 October 3:20:04 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Our long national nightmare is over, the Peep strike has ended [Spiffy]

Saturday 1 October 3:02:53 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Slow news day. Let's see what our kids are up to, shall we? Kids: ***water bottles fly through the air*** Parents: "It's an epidemic" Schools: "MAKE IT STOP" Youtube: "Cool flip, bro" [Stupid]

Saturday 1 October 2:53:53 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump watched Paris Hilton's sex tape, then asked her to host his Miss USA pageant. "I hate what happened with that sex tape, but it only made her hotter" [Awkward]

Saturday 1 October 2:51:53 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police issue warning for clowns on Long Island to get back in their clown cars and stop jumping in front of other cars [Weird]

Saturday 1 October 2:50:04 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [3 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When considering possible reasons to break into someone's house, 'to shave my head' doesn't usually come to mind [Strange]

Saturday 1 October 2:20:04 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 200 small earthquakes under the Salton Sea in California. Nearby San Andrea fault holding for now. Seismologists give 1 in 100 chance of a big one this week. Everybody can panic but it's really too late [Scary]

Saturday 1 October 2:09:54 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » British man hits the Antiques Roadshow jackpot [Spiffy]

Saturday 1 October 1:52:15 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Hey, we noticed some of the residents at your nursing home seem to be abused." "Oh, that, yeah that was poltergeists" [Facepalm]

Saturday 1 October 1:50:04 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Saudi Arabia condemns US 9/11 law, warns of 'consequences.' What are they gonna do, fly a plane into–oh [Followup]

Saturday 1 October 1:47:57 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember all those fat, lazy blob people being carted around in self-propelled armchairs in "Wall-E"? Well, Nissan apparently thought that was a good idea [Stupid]

Saturday 1 October 1:20:04 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » New Wind Turbine Harnesses the Power of Typhoons

Saturday 1 October 0:42:40 UTC 2016

The design aims to employ the often-damaging energy that comes with powerful tropical storms. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Red clay bricks are selling for up to $1,000 on eBay because people are dumb [Asinine]

Saturday 1 October 0:41:10 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Collectible Facts About Hot Wheels

Saturday 1 October 0:30:00 UTC 2016

1. They were the brainchild of Elliot Handler, whose wife created Barbie. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Under the FOIA, FBI releases two truckloads of Nikola Tesla's e-mails [Interesting]

Saturday 1 October 0:20:04 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Denzel Washington takes plea deal in strangling of Aretha Franklin [Interesting]

Saturday 1 October 0:09:46 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Erdogan looks off Turkey's coast and notes that some Greek islands are really quite spiffy [Scary]

Saturday 1 October 0:03:51 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: Product warning stickers we really need [Photoshop]

Saturday 1 October 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Develop Test-in-a-Box for Chikungunya Virus

Saturday 1 October 0:00:00 UTC 2016

The portable test kit does not require refrigeration and could provide faster, more cost-effective diagnosis in remote areas. [Link]

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