John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

FMyLife » anonymous says FML

Sunday 25 September 22:00:49 UTC 2016

Today, I was told I needed to start carrying bandaids with me at work because practically every day I hurt myself. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Put down the pint bloke, the next thing you're going to tell me is that there's a 'lost' underground street with homes and tunnels in this North East England town [Weird]

Sunday 25 September 22:00:16 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The tiny hotel trend comes to…where else, Portland [Obvious]

Sunday 25 September 21:45:13 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » News of the Weird (September 25, 2016)

Sunday 25 September 21:11:00 UTC 2016

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M494, September 25, 2016
Copyright 2016 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

Police and prosecutors in Dallas, Tex., appropriately sensitive at having been the site of the 1963 killing of President Kennedy, have apparently taken out their shame on assassination buff Robert Groden. As the Dallas Observer reported in September, Groden has been ticketed … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protip: When landing a commercial jet, don't accidentally press the hijack warning button [Fail]

Sunday 25 September 20:50:30 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » City officials demand security gets beefed up at a destination for a "volatile mix of people" who show up every weekend, get into fights and cause damage that takes up valuable police time and resources. No comment from Chuck E. Cheese manage

Sunday 25 September 20:43:31 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is why you should always check your footwear before putting them on, but this is Australia and you already knew that, didn't you? [Scary]

Sunday 25 September 20:37:30 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Twinkling Star Chart Skirt Lets You Wear the Night Sky

Sunday 25 September 20:30:00 UTC 2016

The perfect piece to showcase your stellar fashion sense. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this classic image [Photoshop]

Sunday 25 September 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alaska to vote on a cat leash law. Pet owners show their claws [Strange]

Sunday 25 September 17:57:27 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Slow news day: Police looking for the owner of a turkey found walking down the street. Mmmm…turkey [Silly]

Sunday 25 September 16:50:03 UTC 2016

Silly [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Trees Communicate Underground (Here's How)

Sunday 25 September 16:30:00 UTC 2016

Trees communicate and trade resources using underground networks. Yes, really. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Charlotte FOP spokesman Friday: 70% of those we've arrested in the protests come from out of state. Newspaper: actually your arrest records show 79% live in Charlotte. FOP spokesman : well, "I wasn't quoting facts" when I made that st

Sunday 25 September 16:25:09 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [199 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Horseback Dinner

Sunday 25 September 16:20:50 UTC 2016


Conspicuous Consumption – as it was done in 1903. In order to celebrate the completion of his $200,000 stable, C.K.G. Billings held a "horseback dinner" on March 28, 1903 for 33 of his pals from the Equestrian club. It took 24 workers three days to convert the second-floor banquet hall at Sherry's restaurant in New York into a faux rural … [Link]

Weird Universe » The Gods Were Angry With Me

Sunday 25 September 16:20:49 UTC 2016

Man's carnal lusts cause Armageddon and make the gods open up the Book of Revelation. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is how bad it has gotten for cops these days: GA policewoman shot by a black man while on duty finds herself charged with four felonies, all because the black guy didn't exist…and she wasn't actually shot [Followup]

Sunday 25 September 15:50:08 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Week's Best Amazon Deals You Can Still Get

Sunday 25 September 15:30:00 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, we share some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. These items were the ones that were the most popular with our readers this week, and they’re still available. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Happy 30th birthday to my liver" [Followup]

Sunday 25 September 15:07:09 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: Keyboard Maestro – award winning Mac software, create your own macros and shortcuts. (Sponsored Link) [Plug]

Sunday 25 September 14:53:56 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [3 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This could be the last police shooting video North Carolina ever releases thanks to a proposed new law [Murica]

Sunday 25 September 14:30:12 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [154 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Duck, duck, loose [Amusing]

Sunday 25 September 14:30:03 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Companies Who Hire Motivational Speakers Have Lost Their Way

Sunday 25 September 13:54:31 UTC 2016

Meeting speaker: Either get on the train or get off the boat. Washington, DC [Link]

FMyLife » b.fritz says FML

Sunday 25 September 13:13:55 UTC 2016

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML [Link]

FMyLife » NoJob says FML

Sunday 25 September 13:13:54 UTC 2016

Today, I had my first interview. Everything was going well until I made him repeat his name numerous times, as I couldn't understand what he was saying due to his thick accent. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this WWII airgunner [Photoshop]

Sunday 25 September 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Interviews gone wrong [CSB]

Sunday 25 September 13:00:00 UTC 2016

CSB [link] [233 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What Can Urban Wildlife Teach Us About Pollution?

Sunday 25 September 12:30:00 UTC 2016

Pigeons are like urban canaries in a coal mine. But they're not the only ones cluing us in. [Link]

Mental Floss » Austrian Airline Claims to Have Launched the World's Shortest International Flight

Sunday 25 September 10:30:00 UTC 2016

The trip from St. Gallen, Switzerland to Friedrichshafen, Germany, reportedly takes eight minutes, [Link]

FMyLife » spaceavery says FML

Sunday 25 September 9:07:07 UTC 2016

Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else – a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML [Link]

FMyLife » do you want a bag says FML

Sunday 25 September 9:07:06 UTC 2016

Today, after 3 weeks of my new job, I'm already having work-related dreams. I'm having troubles differentiating between the 8 hour shifts in real life and the 8 hour shifts in my dream. I'm doubly exhausted. FML [Link]

FMyLife » very very lonely says FML

Sunday 25 September 9:07:05 UTC 2016

Today, I bought a friendship bracelet. I'm not sure what's sadder, the fact that I don't actually have a friend to give the other half to, or that I'm actually wearing one of them so it looks like I have friends. FML [Link]

GraphJam » 

Sunday 25 September 9:00:14 UTC 2016

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Sunday 25 September 9:00:13 UTC 2016

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Sunday 25 September 9:00:12 UTC 2016

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GraphJam » Reasons women win at poker

Sunday 25 September 9:00:11 UTC 2016

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Sunday 25 September 9:00:10 UTC 2016

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GraphJam » Why I watch the Weather Channel

Sunday 25 September 9:00:09 UTC 2016

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Sunday 25 September 9:00:08 UTC 2016

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GraphJam » What My Meals Consist Of

Sunday 25 September 9:00:07 UTC 2016

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GraphJam » Replotted: This Is Getting Too Meta for Me

Sunday 25 September 9:00:06 UTC 2016

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Sunday 25 September 9:00:05 UTC 2016

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Sunday 25 September 9:00:04 UTC 2016

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Sunday 25 September 9:00:03 UTC 2016

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Sunday 25 September 9:00:02 UTC 2016

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Sunday 25 September 9:00:01 UTC 2016

Graph by: Pshyoujustgotpwned Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Twilight Courses

Sunday 25 September 9:00:00 UTC 2016

Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

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Sunday 25 September 8:59:59 UTC 2016

Graph by: dmjoyce12 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Where My Email Comes From

Sunday 25 September 8:59:58 UTC 2016

Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

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Sunday 25 September 8:59:57 UTC 2016

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Sunday 25 September 8:59:56 UTC 2016

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GraphJam » Replotted: Gadgets 2000 vs Gadgets 2000

Sunday 25 September 8:59:55 UTC 2016

Graph by: ryuga81 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What you want to eat in an apple pie.

Sunday 25 September 8:59:54 UTC 2016

Graph by: Murzay Share on Facebook [Link]

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Sunday 25 September 8:59:53 UTC 2016

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Sunday 25 September 8:59:52 UTC 2016

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Sunday 25 September 8:59:51 UTC 2016

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Sunday 25 September 8:59:50 UTC 2016

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Sunday 25 September 8:59:49 UTC 2016

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GraphJam » Enthusiasm for the World Cup Your nation is eliminated Cup Fans Regular People

Sunday 25 September 8:59:48 UTC 2016

Graph by: Share on Facebook [Link]

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Sunday 25 September 8:59:47 UTC 2016

Graph by: gutlanko Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Characters you know from Star Trek

Sunday 25 September 8:59:46 UTC 2016

Graph by: hONEYbELLA16 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Big Map Of New Jersey Sterotypes

Sunday 25 September 8:59:45 UTC 2016

Graph by: shamWOWIES (via holdyourfireal.smugmug.com) Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Favorite Marathon

Sunday 25 September 8:59:44 UTC 2016

Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

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Sunday 25 September 8:59:43 UTC 2016

Graph by: semifl Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Sunday 25 September 8:59:42 UTC 2016

Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Bathroom Line

Sunday 25 September 8:59:41 UTC 2016

Graph by: CloverKong Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How AirForce computer training courses are completed

Sunday 25 September 8:59:40 UTC 2016

Graph by: td2johns Share on Facebook [Link]

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Sunday 25 September 8:59:39 UTC 2016

Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

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Sunday 25 September 8:59:38 UTC 2016

Graph by: Sceadu545 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » boogie

Sunday 25 September 8:59:37 UTC 2016

pie chart Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What My Master's Degree Does:

Sunday 25 September 8:59:36 UTC 2016

Cheezburger Image 3475796224 Graph by: Share on Facebook [Link]

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Sunday 25 September 8:59:35 UTC 2016

Graph by: TehMarsMan Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Number of e-Mail Scams

Sunday 25 September 8:59:34 UTC 2016

Graph by: confucius Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Sunday 25 September 8:59:33 UTC 2016

Graph by: esclrocks Share on Facebook [Link]

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Sunday 25 September 8:59:32 UTC 2016

Graph by: Maxximumride Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How good are the Men In Black movies?

Sunday 25 September 8:59:31 UTC 2016

Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This Graph

Sunday 25 September 8:59:30 UTC 2016

Graph by: nightgunner5 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Band-Aids Left in the Box When You Need Them

Sunday 25 September 8:59:29 UTC 2016

Graph by: Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » All Memes

Sunday 25 September 8:59:28 UTC 2016

Cheezburger Image 5844652544 Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Weather outside vs. day of week woohooo, sunshine!! rain, rain, rain and…rain

Sunday 25 September 8:59:27 UTC 2016

Graph by: dickbrave1985 Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What girls really do during sleepovers

Sunday 25 September 8:59:26 UTC 2016

Graph by: cat1992 Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch: What's in Toothpaste?

Sunday 25 September 8:30:00 UTC 2016

Abrasives, humectants, foaming agents, binders…what's all that stuff for? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You are more likely to be killed by a deer than you are a shark, alligator, or bear. Combined [PSA]

Sunday 25 September 6:44:42 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Driverless Highway Lane Could Eventually Connect Vancouver and Seattle

Sunday 25 September 6:30:00 UTC 2016

A group of West Coast tech entrepreneurs want to dedicate an entire highway lane to autonomous cars. [Link]

Futility Closet » Coming and Going

Sunday 25 September 6:00:17 UTC 2016

In Through the Looking-Glass, John Tenniel’s two illustrations above are designed to fall on opposite sides of a single page. In this way the page itself becomes the looking-glass — Alice enters one side and emerges from the other, where all the details are reversed, including Tenniel’s signature and initials. “Tenniel this time clearly draws the borderline between the world … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "When I die please just read my best jokes at my funeral." It was The Internet that tweeted pictures of a naked man to the TV station [Amusing]

Sunday 25 September 5:34:43 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Text Adventures VI (c) 2016. You are inside Walmart and sitting on a scooter. The craft section surrounds you. In your pocket is a lighter. What do you wish to do?_ [Asinine]

Sunday 25 September 4:30:42 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch the World's Largest Elevator Carry Ships Over a Dam

Sunday 25 September 4:30:00 UTC 2016

Elevators aren't just for people. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Our host isn't in the studio this evening due to transportation problems, but for your listening enjoyment here is a show he uploaded tonight [Spiffy]

Sunday 25 September 3:41:05 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Washington State Mall Turkey Shooter Captured [NewsFlash]

Sunday 25 September 3:25:17 UTC 2016

NewsFlash [link] [266 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Which Movie Characters Asked These Famous Questions?

Sunday 25 September 3:04:39 UTC 2016

Take the quiz! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Adam LaRoche will see your ex-NFLer helping to solve a murder and raise you by going undercover in Southeast Asia in a child slavery sex sting. Your move NHL [Hero]

Sunday 25 September 2:34:49 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is a cocktail ever worth $26? [Stupid]

Sunday 25 September 1:23:36 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [168 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I'm not dead." "Yes you are. It says right here." "I got better" [Florida]

Sunday 25 September 1:02:06 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teen posts picture of discolored water coming from the sink at her high school, so authorities immediately A) report the issue to the school district, B) report the issue to the local utility, or C) suspend the student [Asinine]

Sunday 25 September 0:30:04 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Behold, the Live Shark Cam!

Sunday 25 September 0:30:00 UTC 2016

It's mostly rays, but those are cool too. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Charlotte PD release video of Scott shooting after determining it doesn't definitively incriminate them [Followup]

Sunday 25 September 0:07:43 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [648 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Rudy Rudy Rudy" Photoshop this dog of war [Photoshop]

Sunday 25 September 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

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