John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » It takes a special kind of low-life to use a phony $50 bill to get change from a kid selling lemonade to raise money for Alzheimer's research [Dumbass]

Sunday 18 September 23:49:29 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away…someone called the cops on Darth Vader for picking up litter [Spiffy]

Sunday 18 September 23:02:29 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » West Virginia will no longer provide weekly fall foliage reports because the 37 full time employees needed to write the reports were laid off [Murica]

Sunday 18 September 21:43:18 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Washington Post demands Edward Snowden be prosecuted under the fullest extent of the law–never mind the fact they published the illegal documents he leaked [Spiffy]

Sunday 18 September 20:57:29 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » News of the Weird (September 18, 2016)

Sunday 18 September 20:46:36 UTC 2016

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M493, September 18, 2016
Copyright 2016 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

What Goes Around, Comes Around: One of the Islamic State's first reforms in captured territory has been to require adult women to dress devoutly–including the face-covering burka robe, which, in Western democracies famously presents security dilemmas because it hinders identification. Now, after … [Link]

Mental Floss » The American Foods Mark Twain Craved While Traveling Abroad

Sunday 18 September 20:30:00 UTC 2016

The long list includes bacon, peach cobbler, and possum. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Too lazy to walk over and get your own shopping cart? Walmart has a solution for that [Interesting]

Sunday 18 September 20:28:07 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Please please please let the answer to this be yes [Interesting]

Sunday 18 September 20:23:17 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this leisurely stroll along the beach [Photoshop]

Sunday 18 September 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » From swamps, marijuana, and moonshine, here is the story about two prison escapees' and their three weeks on the run. O brother, where art thou indeed [Interesting]

Sunday 18 September 19:35:10 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A naked man broke into a house, bit a woman, then dies at a hospital. Why yes, this did happen in Florida. How'd you guess? [Florida]

Sunday 18 September 19:34:05 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Washington DC's streetcar line is turning into the boondoggle most predicted. Operating costs are $9 a passenger. The city government's reaction? We've got to expand the system [Stupid]

Sunday 18 September 19:16:11 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Creationist Ken Ham, who predicted 2 million people a year will visit his 'Ark Encounter' museum, has shockingly lowered that estimate [Obvious]

Sunday 18 September 18:56:16 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [234 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Jersey woman uses her extreme couponing skills to feed 30,000 hungry souls [Hero]

Sunday 18 September 18:51:17 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Elusive Facts about Greta Garbo

Sunday 18 September 18:30:00 UTC 2016

The Swedish Sphinx will debut on Sweden's currency next month. [Link]

FMyLife » somnolence says FML

Sunday 18 September 17:56:57 UTC 2016

Today, I wanted to take a nap after cleaning my apartment, so I put the trash outside the front door and put a note on the door for my roommate, saying, "Please take the trash out when you leave for work." When I woke up, the note was gone but the trash was still there. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who wouldn't want to make $1,800 a month by eating fast food? [Murica]

Sunday 18 September 17:13:13 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How the Band-Aid Was Invented

Sunday 18 September 16:30:00 UTC 2016

Necessity is truly the mother of invention. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Koi fish valued at $24,000 stolen, police cast wide net over city hoping to reel in thieves [Strange]

Sunday 18 September 15:53:37 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seattle's growing homeless problem affecting tourism industry. Nobody wants to see a 'WILL BARISTA 4 FOOD' sign en route to the Space Needle [Sad]

Sunday 18 September 15:36:16 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [245 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » You Can Still Get This Week's Best Amazon Deals

Sunday 18 September 15:30:22 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, we share some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. These items were the ones that were the most popular with our readers this week, and they’re still available. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you are a parent, day care worker, or pediatrician in Arizona, congratulations, you're now a sex offender [Stupid]

Sunday 18 September 14:59:16 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [280 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Free donut? Shiver me timbers [Cool]

Sunday 18 September 14:56:19 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » WestJet flight delayed after iguanas can't decide whether to sit in first class or coach [Strange]

Sunday 18 September 14:46:40 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » SF police searching for cough syrup thief. Suspect described by eye-witnesses as a gray-haired man wearing a bow tie and apron, a washcloth over his shoulder, and a voice sounding 'like a cartoon version of Al Pacino from Dog Day Afternoon' [

Sunday 18 September 14:46:17 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for robbery demonstrates the highly difficult "stealing a police car while handcuffed behind his back" trick [Awkward]

Sunday 18 September 14:35:24 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » You People Deserved the Bush Administration

Sunday 18 September 14:19:59 UTC 2016

Liberal cube dweller #1: I have so much to celebrate next week. My sister's birthday and the anniversary of Roe v. Wade.
Liberal cube dweller #2: You celebrate that?
Liberal cube dweller #1: Yes, I absolutely do.
Liberal cube dweller #2: What kind of cake do you get?
Liberal cube dweller #1: A fetus cake.
Liberal cube dweller #2: I have seen the fetus cookies, but … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » While New York is exploding, Minnesota is being stabby stab stabbed [Scary]

Sunday 18 September 14:02:22 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Navy's newest LCS removed from service after it suffers two catastrophic engine failures in three days. After paying $430+ million per ship, there are now zero littoral combat ships in active service [Fail]

Sunday 18 September 13:31:27 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [140 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Lipstick-Shaped Cigarette Lighter

Sunday 18 September 13:27:23 UTC 2016

Imagine the hilarity when your lady-love accidentally scorches her kisser! She'll be "smoking hot" then!

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this bubble child [Photoshop]

Sunday 18 September 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Past and Present Home Projects [CSB]

Sunday 18 September 13:00:00 UTC 2016

CSB [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Snollygoster mods rejecting my submissions, now dreaded uhtceare interrupts my slooming until driven to obsessively gogoozling submissions queue while all these bloody Trumpmumpsimus headlines wamblecropt Fark. TL;DR : Submitted with better headline

Sunday 18 September 12:43:33 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Amazing/Weird Period Board Game Teaches Kids About Menstruation

Sunday 18 September 12:30:00 UTC 2016

Move around the board with just a quick spin of the ovaries. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 4 killed, 42 injured when charter bus carrying college football team hits overpass. Subby was on the scene, and won't be sleeping tonight [Sad]

Sunday 18 September 12:22:24 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Pollution-Detecting Shirts

Sunday 18 September 12:09:01 UTC 2016


These shirts sold by aerochromics alert their wearers to the presence of dangerous levels of pollution by changing color. They go for $500 a shirt. There are three styles to choose from that differ in pattern and what they react to — either carbon monoxide, radiation, or "particle pollution."

So if you get the carbon monoxide or radiation-detecting shirt, how … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The slavers want you workin' when you go to jail, the prison band's on strike and they've commenced to wail: "The media ain't reportin' because they're so meek, but our largest prison strike's in its second week."

Sunday 18 September 11:09:37 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Penn State holds "Joe Pa" Day 5 years after they found out Sandusky liked 5 year olds [Asinine]

Sunday 18 September 10:32:36 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [130 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 'Monopoly' Gets a Miami-Inspired Makeover

Sunday 18 September 10:30:00 UTC 2016

Artist Romero Britto redesigned the game's board to look like a piece of pop art. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Plane carrying skydivers for local Constitution Fair makes an amendment to a house [Scary]

Sunday 18 September 10:22:36 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Now that Bayer has acquired Monsanto…let's hail our new evildoer overlords. Remember when a division of Bayer let ethics take a back seat to profits as they knowingly spent years dumping HIV/AIDS-tainted plasma to overseas markets? Me neither [

Sunday 18 September 9:28:37 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Transgender man wants to change name to avoid harassment. Too bad for him this is Indiana [Murica]

Sunday 18 September 8:46:37 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [151 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Traffic Jams Happen (and How to Fix Them)

Sunday 18 September 8:30:00 UTC 2016

If we all drove like robots, everything would be fantastic. [Link]

GraphJam » For Me It's Only the Blue. That's Why I'm Forever Alone

Sunday 18 September 7:56:25 UTC 2016

Graph by: daorangemoose Share on Facebook [Link]

FMyLife » adults acting like children says FML

Sunday 18 September 7:31:08 UTC 2016

Today, it's been almost two weeks since any of my relatives have talked to me. They are still mad because I didn't go on a Labor Day trip with them and I've found out why. Apparently, they had plans for me to babysit my younger cousins any time they wanted to do something fun. FML [Link]

Futility Closet » Misc

Sunday 18 September 6:38:23 UTC 2016

Image: Wikimedia Commons The Fall has had 66 members. Roundly defeated is squarely defeated. One pound of U.S. dimes, quarters, and half dollars, in any combination, is worth $20. Reverse the digits in any multiple of 11 and you’ll get another multiple of 11. Bertrand Russell’s recipe for longevity: “Choose your parents wisely.” [Link]

Mental Floss » This Vibrating Pen Lets Anyone Make Pointillist Art

Sunday 18 September 6:30:00 UTC 2016

The electronic pen contains an electromagnetic mechanism that can generate 600 ink dots per minute. [Link]

FMyLife » CouldBeALoser says FML

Sunday 18 September 6:28:38 UTC 2016

Today, I ordered flowers to be delivered to my workplace on Tuesday. To myself. For my birthday. Because even though birthdays are posted in the monthly newsletter, mine gets left out every year. For the past four years. FML [Link]

FMyLife » bruh_im18 says FML

Sunday 18 September 5:07:50 UTC 2016

Today, I found out the 28-year-old I am dating is actually 48. FML [Link]

FMyLife » mercumorr says FML

Sunday 18 September 5:07:49 UTC 2016

Today, "What kind of penises do you guys have?" wasn't even the weirdest thing I've heard my elderly female co-worker say this morning. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Pisspants says FML

Sunday 18 September 5:07:48 UTC 2016

Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone … [Link]

FMyLife » Aeare_ says FML

Sunday 18 September 5:07:47 UTC 2016

Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Xbox One Owners Might Have "Free" Games Waiting for Them

Sunday 18 September 4:30:00 UTC 2016

Consider them gifts from the old you to new you. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Looking to get a job? You could check the want ads, consult an employment agency, or pay a man $10,000 and marry his brother-in-law [Asinine]

Sunday 18 September 4:10:43 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Our host isn't in the studio tonight, but for your listening enjoyment here is an archived Livingston Stapler Company Presents show from September 29, 2012 [Cool]

Sunday 18 September 3:39:20 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 29 injured in explosion at 23rd St. and 7th Ave. in Manhattan FDNY setting up command post (Updated article posted) [NewsFlash]

Sunday 18 September 1:42:08 UTC 2016

NewsFlash [link] [883 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This 'MythBusters' Video Will Make You Flinch

Sunday 18 September 0:30:00 UTC 2016

It's like consensual torture. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this house climber [Photoshop]

Sunday 18 September 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

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