John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Ugly-ass puppy turns out to be something else [Sappy]

Saturday 17 September 22:46:55 UTC 2016

Sappy [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Binary bandit" steals ____es and ___s from homeowners [Weird]

Saturday 17 September 22:04:22 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Silver Bullet stops cold in 2016 [Sad]

Saturday 17 September 21:27:53 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In yet another operational milestone, USAF grounds all of its brand new F-35s because they are literally falling apart [Fail]

Saturday 17 September 21:13:46 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [184 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Japanese officials worried about the record number of Magic: the Gathering players [Amusing]

Saturday 17 September 20:50:01 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » You Can Watch the Sunrise From the Top of the Empire State Building

Saturday 17 September 20:30:00 UTC 2016

The perfect date for fans of 'Sleepless in Seattle' who like 6 a.m. wake-ups and and can't wait for Valentine's Day. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this guy and his beanies [Photoshop]

Saturday 17 September 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As it turns out, urban hipsters aren't the only one that enjoy organic, free range, hormone free chicken for supper [Obvious]

Saturday 17 September 19:55:57 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Japanese advice for traveling to America: "On the weekend, [American's] enjoy even more freedom, and take liberal arts courses and have sporting leisures" [Amusing]

Saturday 17 September 18:55:22 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russia is about to find out what it feels like when the oil hits the anus [Fail]

Saturday 17 September 18:00:27 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [143 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Paradox of Musical Description

Saturday 17 September 17:00:04 UTC 2016

Unlike the visual or literary arts, music seems to be impossible to describe in words — we’re forced to choose between the senselessly subjective and the incomprehensibly technical. Rutgers philosopher Peter Kivy cataloged four common types of music criticism: Biographical: a description of the composer rather than his music. “We are allowed to gaze upon a deeply agitated life, that … [Link]

Mental Floss » Meranti Was a Super Typhoon for the Record Books

Saturday 17 September 16:30:00 UTC 2016

It was the strongest storm on Earth in 2016. [Link]

FMyLife » ItnHmn says FML

Saturday 17 September 16:06:34 UTC 2016

Today, they opened a new firing range behind my housing block. No big deal, except they are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Senseless_487 says FML

Saturday 17 September 16:06:33 UTC 2016

Today, I took my wife to a country concert for her birthday, even though I can't stand country. While she had the time of her life, I was punched twice, had a beer dropped on me, and had a rather large, drunk woman fall on me. Happy birthday, baby. FML [Link]

FMyLife » polkadotpinup says FML

Saturday 17 September 16:06:32 UTC 2016

Today, I got a call from my employers wanting to ask why I had a no call, no show for today. My supervisor reported me for not showing up to work. It's my day off, and also my birthday. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » You Need to See This Weekend's Top Amazon Deals

Saturday 17 September 15:30:01 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, September 17. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alright stop, there's an accident so listen up. A semi full of iced tea spilled and the driver was pissed up. Even though the cops grabbed a hold of him tightly, the cleanup is going to take a while so be sure to tread lightly [PSA]

Saturday 17 September 15:16:03 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No matter how often you try to enlighten people to the truth, a good story is a good story, truth be damned, and these stories just refuse to die [Obvious]

Saturday 17 September 15:11:27 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Philadelphia transit takes steps to control their number one problem [Interesting]

Saturday 17 September 15:10:03 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Facts About 'Spin City'

Saturday 17 September 14:30:00 UTC 2016

The Emmy Award-winning political sitcom made its debut 20 years ago. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 70-year-old fan finds a loophole in a 1957 Bazooka gum baseball contest, sends in an entry and wins top prize [Amusing]

Saturday 17 September 14:22:39 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Google: Cows are people too [Silly]

Saturday 17 September 14:21:34 UTC 2016

Silly [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This week in the Saturday Morning Book Club, what's that one book you wish everyone would read? Aside from Drew's book, of course [Interesting]

Saturday 17 September 14:00:00 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [156 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » O O, O o, ^ ^ [Dumbass]

Saturday 17 September 13:00:42 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this nice little swim [Photoshop]

Saturday 17 September 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Must Get Married by August 15th

Saturday 17 September 12:49:46 UTC 2016


August 1973: Jean Roth sat in the lobby of a building at Southern Illinois University with signs that read: "I must be married by August 15th for inheritance purposes."

She explained to anyone who asked that she would give $50,000 to any man who agreed to marry her for a year. Many men immediately volunteered to help her. In addition, … [Link]

Weird Universe » Inedible Egg Products

Saturday 17 September 12:49:45 UTC 2016

Original article here.

Even after reading this article about the big change in export rules for inedible egg products that occured in 1983, I still have no idea what these products are, or what they are used for.

Apparently, the baffling subject is still being thrashed out by the USDA thirty years later.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Family of 10 turns down 5 bedroom council house saying it's not big enough. It didn't even have a dining room. How are people supposed to live without a dining room? I mean, that's just barbaric [Asinine]

Saturday 17 September 12:38:13 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [162 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Five abandoned kittens found trapped under a wooden walkway are saved when good Samaritans disassemble the walkway to rescue them. Bonus goodness: they are reunited with their mother at the vet, resulting in a very happy Caturday [Caturday]

Saturday 17 September 12:00:00 UTC 2016

Caturday [link] [701 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The trees have brains. The trees. Have brains [Creepy]

Saturday 17 September 10:36:26 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Do Dolphins Carry On Conversations?

Saturday 17 September 10:30:00 UTC 2016

A much-hyped new paper claims to have found evidence of human-like speech patterns in bottlenose dolphins, but other researchers are skeptical, to say the least. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judge 1: Screw the jury I'm throwing this out. . Judge 2: We're gonna have to hide this video. . Judge 3: Screw that, video's out. . Feds: charges against cop [Interesting]

Saturday 17 September 9:12:24 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So 42 years after Evel Knievel's nationally televised fail, a guy jumped the Snake River Canyon on a rocket bike [Followup]

Saturday 17 September 9:10:25 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » W.P. Kinsella, whose baseball novel became the movie Field Of Dreams, walks out into the cornfield [Sad]

Saturday 17 September 8:44:00 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Is the Music in Marvel Movies So Forgettable?

Saturday 17 September 8:30:00 UTC 2016

Let's nerd out on how film scoring works these days. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » World's oldest fishhook found on Okinawa, right next to the world's largest fish. It was 50 feet long if it was an inch, I tell ya, biggest thing you ever seen [Cool]

Saturday 17 September 7:29:25 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Amazing new pictures of the Loch Ness Monster were photographed by a whisky warehouse worker… stopped reading there [Unlikely]

Saturday 17 September 6:46:46 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Here's Your Chance to Own a Piece of Reagan-Era History

Saturday 17 September 6:30:00 UTC 2016

Christie's is auctioning off over 700 items from the Reagans' personal collection later this month. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police looking for Florida man with dementia. How will they know when they find one? [Florida]

Saturday 17 September 6:16:46 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Took those jagoffs over at the Oxford English Dictionary long enough [Weird]

Saturday 17 September 6:10:46 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [38 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Blamethepostman says FML

Saturday 17 September 5:57:23 UTC 2016

Today, I bought stamps to send a letter. For some unknown reason, instead of putting the stamp on the letter, I posted the letter and the stamp booklet into the postbox. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Huge organization known for tripling and quadrupling down on mistakes, corruption, and bad policy endorses Presidential candidate who most closely emulates similar behavior [Scary]

Saturday 17 September 5:46:46 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [140 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Usually motion detector lights deter crime [Florida]

Saturday 17 September 5:16:46 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Move over, Syrian refugees-we've got to make room for Russians seeking "pornographic asylum" too [Spiffy]

Saturday 17 September 4:46:46 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Google Maps Protected a Cow’s Privacy by Blurring Its Face

Saturday 17 September 4:30:00 UTC 2016

The cow's identity is safe. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » OK, you need to take the fall on this one, I can't go back to prison… here, take my stash… yes, I know you're 8, cowboy up [Florida]

Saturday 17 September 4:16:46 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What the hell, did I just get stabbed at Hooters? Like, in a bad way? [Florida]

Saturday 17 September 3:46:46 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good news everyone. Leukemia is no longer the number 1 cancer killing kids. Now it's brain cancer [Sad]

Saturday 17 September 3:40:31 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Japanese Navy begins patrols in Chinese fake territorial waters [Scary]

Saturday 17 September 3:16:46 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dumbass thief breaks into children's center of YMCA, makes off with fake money he finds in toy cash register [Fail]

Saturday 17 September 2:46:46 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study finds tattoos can improve your chances of getting hired. Mr. Cool Ice unavailable for comment [Interesting]

Saturday 17 September 2:36:34 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [154 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oakland PD has set up a website where you can report license plates of johns picking up hookers. What could possibly go wrong? [Facepalm]

Saturday 17 September 2:19:17 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Will a radioactive spider crawl out of a massive sinkhole that opened up outside a fertilizer plant? Hey, it's Florida. It could happen [Florida]

Saturday 17 September 2:16:46 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mars or Utah — can you tell from these photos? Difficulty: No Mormons [Cool]

Saturday 17 September 2:15:48 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Why don't you lick me where I fart?" said the teacher to the student [Stupid]

Saturday 17 September 1:57:28 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well, so much for hoping to hear A Whiter Shade of Pale live anytime soon [Sad]

Saturday 17 September 1:46:46 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turns out that when the Nazis weren't planning mass genocide or taking part in homoerotic training exercises, they were burying cute time capsules [Interesting]

Saturday 17 September 1:16:46 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Donald Trump's actions may bring down the President. No, not that one [Followup]

Saturday 17 September 1:13:47 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Arguing with the police about your car being booted in NYC is acceptable, but leave the meat cleaver at home [Scary]

Saturday 17 September 0:46:46 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A routine 911 call leads to the discovery of three corpses. But, it's Ohio, where dead is better [Strange]

Saturday 17 September 0:16:46 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this floating sunbather [Photoshop]

Saturday 17 September 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Massive Meteorite Fragment Unearthed in Argentina

Saturday 17 September 0:00:00 UTC 2016

The 34-ton space rock nicknamed “Gancedo” may be the second largest in the world. [Link]

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