John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Yo quiero hierba [Amusing]

Sunday 11 September 23:20:57 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Captain Obvious reports that a judge's son won't be charged for DUI even though the state of Florida says the teenager misled police about crash [Florida]

Sunday 11 September 22:50:19 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [47 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » nattnatt73 says FML

Sunday 11 September 22:46:17 UTC 2016

Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML [Link]

Weird Universe » News of the Weird (September 11, 2016)

Sunday 11 September 22:41:55 UTC 2016

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M492, September 11, 2016
Copyright 2016 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

The upscale clothier Barneys New York recently introduced $585 "Distressed Superstar Sneakers" (from the high-end brand Golden Goose) that were purposely designed to look scuffed, well-worn, and cobbled-together, as if they were shoes recovered from a Dumpster. The quintessential touch was the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New coffee will keep you buzzed for 18 hours, increase your chances to become a Fark admin [Spiffy]

Sunday 11 September 21:39:59 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » ‘Nerdwax’ Keeps Your Glasses From Sliding Down Your Nose

Sunday 11 September 21:00:00 UTC 2016

An answer to your spectacle-related woes. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I have no idea what you're talking about so here is a picture of a 3D book that looks like Albert Einstein's head [Strange]

Sunday 11 September 20:56:51 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "OK, no pushing, one at a time please, no pushing, keep it moving people – ABDUL, I SAW THAT, go pick that up – no pushing, keep it moving, keep it moving" [Misc]

Sunday 11 September 20:35:18 UTC 2016

Misc [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you have an extra $36 million laying around you can buy your own nuclear power plant [Cool]

Sunday 11 September 20:21:02 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this decidedly Spartan home office [Photoshop]

Sunday 11 September 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russian police raid home of acting head of anti-corruption agency; seize over $120 million in cash. In fairness, he was only acting [Obvious]

Sunday 11 September 19:36:10 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I hate to break it to you but Pennywise was not responsible for the clown sightings [Followup]

Sunday 11 September 19:18:08 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Original Names of 10 Sports

Sunday 11 September 19:00:00 UTC 2016

If history hadn't changed, we would be watching Gabrielle Reece dominate Mintonette, Tony Hawk would be a leader in the world of sidewalk surfing, and Forrest Gump would have been an amazing wiff waff player. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Twenty-four people overdosed on heroin in one day in Akron. But, to be fair, it's Akron [Murica]

Sunday 11 September 18:48:04 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [148 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fifteen years later, let's check in on the TSA's, ah, progress [Followup]

Sunday 11 September 18:14:18 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [128 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What Causes 'Floaters' and Other Visual Phenomena?

Sunday 11 September 17:00:00 UTC 2016

You've seen them…but what are they? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The War On Christmas is starting early this year [Followup]

Sunday 11 September 16:26:07 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [114 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In the ongoing National Anthem dispute, a high school football announcer has calm, rational words. Just kidding, he wants all sitters shot [Asinine]

Sunday 11 September 16:09:10 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [225 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Week's Top Amazon Deals You Can Still Get

Sunday 11 September 16:00:00 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, we share some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. These items were the ones that were the most popular with our readers this week, and they’re still available. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: iPhone 7 Razor Armor Shockproof & Scratch Resistant Case. The headphone jack issue is bizarre but the new camera upgrades are tempting. I for one welcome my continued Apple overlords. (Sponsored Link) [Plug]

Sunday 11 September 14:49:06 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Affluenza" poster boys Ryan and Ammon Bundy still having trouble with authority, to the surprise of absolutely no one [Followup]

Sunday 11 September 14:38:59 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [206 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » While you have been quietly going about your life, New York City has amassed 5,000 outdated public school toilets and plan to turn them all into marine life restoration projects that brings back the city's oyster population [Strange]

Sunday 11 September 14:18:33 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [7 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Experts say the latest theory that Amelia Earhart survived her plane crash really amounts to nothing atoll [Unlikely]

Sunday 11 September 14:10:27 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And the Makeup Sex Is to Die For

Sunday 11 September 14:07:25 UTC 2016

Guest speaker: Domestic violence is hot. Berkeley, California [Link]

Weird Universe » Killed by a watermelon

Sunday 11 September 13:54:35 UTC 2016

One for the weird death file.

1924: Thomas Collins, 21-years-old, drove by a farmer with a truck full of watermelons and called out to the farmer to toss him one. The farmer obliged. The watermelon landed on Collins' head, snapped his neck, and killed him instantly.

Louisville Courier-Journal – Sep 28, 1924 [Link]

Weird Universe » Moonlight Towers

Sunday 11 September 13:54:34 UTC 2016

The antique form of streetlights called "moonlight towers" exists today only in Austin, Texas, as seen above in a picture taken from this fine post. There's something pretty science-fictional or steampunk about them, especially in a vintage picture as seen here.

In some other timeline, moonlight towers dot the nation in the year 2016. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two teens try to slurp up publicity by telling everyone to boycott straws in the month of October [Unlikely]

Sunday 11 September 13:47:02 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man in a wheelchair steals the tip jar at Florida's Beef Jerky Experience. In other news, Florida has a Beef Jerky Experience [Florida]

Sunday 11 September 13:03:30 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: An improvement to watching football games [Photoshop]

Sunday 11 September 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Memorable Family Vacations [Spiffy]

Sunday 11 September 13:00:00 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Capt. James Kirk will drive his new DDG100 ship to Baltimore on October 15th at @17:00 hours. In other Fark News: Subby will be in Baltimore very very shortly [Spiffy]

Sunday 11 September 12:54:00 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Your new girlfriend or boyfriend may not like your large macaw who wants to bite them or may be afraid of your pet kangaroo that can kick and box with the power of Muhammad Ali" [Obvious]

Sunday 11 September 12:31:57 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The BLM's National Wild Horse and Burro Advisory Board has voted to kill all 45,000 wild horses and burros now being held in government facilities. That's mighty fine advisin' there, Lou [Asinine]

Sunday 11 September 10:30:59 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [152 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's a lot of buzz over a program that allows former inmates just out of the prison hive to get a honey of a job working with bees [Cool]

Sunday 11 September 10:24:41 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Can a New 'Vaccine' Stem the Frog Apocalypse?

Sunday 11 September 9:00:00 UTC 2016

Scientists are saving endangered frogs in California. [Link]

Mental Floss » China Launches Crowdfunding Campaign to Restore the Great Wall

Sunday 11 September 7:00:00 UTC 2016

China Foundation for Cultural Heritage Conservation launched a crowdfunding campaign to raise money to repair the Great Wall of China. [Link]

Futility Closet » “Caput Ei Abscidite!”

Sunday 11 September 6:52:06 UTC 2016

Clive Harcourt Carruthers’ 1964 book Alicia in Terra Mirabili begins at once, without a preface: Aliciam iam incipiebat plurimum taedere iuxta sororem suam in ripa sedere nec quidquam habere quod faceret. Semel et saepius in librum oculos coniecerat quem soror legebat: sed ei inerant nec tabulae nec sermones. ‘Quid adiuvat liber,’ secum reputabat Alicia, ‘in quo sunt nullae tabulae aut … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Soon, anyone will be able to easily make their own drone in their garage. This will purely be a force for good and absolutely cannot backfire [Interesting]

Sunday 11 September 5:25:14 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Mug Promises Not to Block Your View of the Television

Sunday 11 September 5:00:00 UTC 2016

Precious viewing seconds saved! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Coming to you from Alaska's capital city, it's another round of Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker, starting at 9PM AKDT/10PM PDT [Live]

Sunday 11 September 4:57:35 UTC 2016

Live [link] [211 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » You Can Watch Paint Drying On YouTube (Thanks, Internet!)

Sunday 11 September 4:27:38 UTC 2016

If you'd rather watch paint dry, now you can. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Greta Zimmer Friedman, who was kissed by a sailor in Times Square in one of the most iconic photographs of the 20th century, died Thursday [Hero]

Sunday 11 September 3:25:37 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [246 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » WWII torpedo blown up at sea. Well duh, where else would you blow it up [Interesting]

Sunday 11 September 3:10:19 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Garbage-eating drone starts cleaning up the Port of Rotterdam, gets us one step closer to the WALL-E / Finding Nemo crossover we've all been waiting for [Spiffy]

Sunday 11 September 2:13:55 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bachelor party tries to take photos with blow-up sex doll at 9/11 Memorial [Murica]

Sunday 11 September 1:51:25 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » John Hinckley Jr released after 35 years in a mental hospital on promise he will not shoot at Reagan again [Followup]

Sunday 11 September 1:45:38 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kim Jong Un gets his hand slapped by Vladimir Putin [Dumbass]

Sunday 11 September 1:19:37 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police in England and Wales consider making misogyny a hate crime [Interesting]

Sunday 11 September 1:12:38 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mattress store closes after their 9/11 commercial implodes across the internet [Followup]

Sunday 11 September 1:05:38 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's your guide to buying edible insects. All in one segment [Strange]

Sunday 11 September 0:04:35 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop whatever the hell's going on here [Photoshop]

Sunday 11 September 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

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