John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » The winner of the Decanter World Wine Awards. Platinum Best in Show Award is La Moneda Reserva Malbec-a full bodied but unpretentious Chilean wine available exclusively at…erm..er, well Walmart, actually for about $7 [Amusing]

Saturday 10 September 20:50:08 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [152 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who has experienced the ten most painful animal bites and stings in Australia rates them all. Wait … you mean he's still alive? [Repeat]

Saturday 10 September 20:38:58 UTC 2016

Repeat [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Minnesota Dog Walks Four Miles Every Day to See His Friends in Town

Saturday 10 September 20:30:00 UTC 2016

Bruno has been making the trek for 12 years, and has become a local legend. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Facebook has no clue what the f*ck it's doing, claims Slate. What is it about throwing stones in glass houses? [Ironic]

Saturday 10 September 20:23:07 UTC 2016

Ironic [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this hot bowl [Photoshop]

Saturday 10 September 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're doing it wrong [Scary]

Saturday 10 September 19:28:27 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A woman spends $500 to save the life of a $12 goldfish. WTF, $12 for a goldfish? You overpaid [Strange]

Saturday 10 September 18:12:08 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That's an unusual name for a Superhero [Giggity]

Saturday 10 September 17:01:12 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Stem Cell Therapy Restores Movement to Paralyzed Man’s Arms and Hands

Saturday 10 September 16:30:00 UTC 2016

On March 6, 2016, just before Kris Boesen’s 21st birthday, his car skidded across a wet road in Bakersfield, California and slammed into a telephone pole. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Texas struggles with rising maternal death rate. If only there were some agency that could help women plan for entering into parenthood that hadn't been vilified by state politicians [Sad]

Saturday 10 September 15:44:26 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [278 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Parents upset that indoor playground of forced fun and poorly cloaked desperation to open next to indoor playground of forced fun and poorly cloaked desperation [Obvious]

Saturday 10 September 15:37:38 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [115 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Anti-Slide Devices

Saturday 10 September 14:56:39 UTC 2016

Perhaps this is common knowledge, but I just learned that those raised knobs between escalators really are there for the sole purpose of discouraging people from sliding down the ramp. I had always assumed they had some kind of structural function.


Anti-slide devices are used on high-deck escalators (as in Figure 11.4.2) to stop packages or persons from using it … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Britain is "too lazy and too fat" with businessmen preferring "golf on a Friday afternoon", according to UK Trade Secretary. Like Brits would go outside when there's a new episode of "Ow, My Balls" coming up on BBC4 [Obvio

Saturday 10 September 14:56:32 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teenager who caused a brain-eating amoeba to starve to death learns he still has to go back to school (Some Not safe for work ads on site) [Florida]

Saturday 10 September 14:54:58 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Weekend's Best Amazon Deals You Need to See

Saturday 10 September 14:42:10 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, September 10. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » University of Iowa to offer a degree in Social Justice. Course work will include real life discussions after interviewing the school's two Hispanic and black students [Interesting]

Saturday 10 September 14:40:29 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » …Does That Answer Your Question About Our Product, Sir?

Saturday 10 September 14:00:58 UTC 2016

Woman on phone: I thought that once my father died, my mom would be happy. But that was 25 years ago, and she's still miserable. Huntington, New York [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Saturday Mornng Book Club wants to know what's the last book you read. Did you enjoy it? Would you recommend it to a friend? Or do you want that lost time back? [Interesting]

Saturday 10 September 14:00:00 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [298 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cut your hair, Hippy [Sad]

Saturday 10 September 13:50:16 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vintage posters of tastiest animals that existed [Sad]

Saturday 10 September 13:02:13 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this labor [Photoshop]

Saturday 10 September 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ontario is putting $1.7 million into stopping sexual harassment in the restaurant industry. Basically, they're telling guys to stop being hosers and to behave themselves, but they're doing it sternly for about an hour [Misc]

Saturday 10 September 12:34:59 UTC 2016

Misc [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Netflix Wants to Pay You to Binge-Watch Kids' Movies

Saturday 10 September 12:30:00 UTC 2016

If you’re going to spend all day watching ‘Mighty Morphin Power Rangers,’ you may as well get paid for it. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Blossom the cat had no idea she was different after she lost her eyes – especially since she has found her forever home with other felines who feel the same way. She may be blind, but can still see it's time for Caturday [Caturday]

Saturday 10 September 12:00:00 UTC 2016

Caturday [link] [609 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Adorable, 60-Foot-Tall Inflatable Moon Debuts in Seoul

Saturday 10 September 10:30:00 UTC 2016

'Super Moon' looks like huge floating pillow. [Link]

Weird Universe » Hindu Ceremonial Animal Marriages

Saturday 10 September 9:57:00 UTC 2016

1932 report here.

The practice of having a human marry an animal for various mystical reasons has been a part of Hindu religion for who-knows-how-long, and continues to the present.

Full article here.

And then of course there is marrying a tree as well.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » I know all that going and coming, coming and going … it's not easy being a male escort [Interesting]

Saturday 10 September 9:33:00 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [57 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » 

Saturday 10 September 9:04:06 UTC 2016

dignity girly stuff hygiene Pie Chart retail tampon - 3870877696 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: dignity , girly stuff , hygiene , Pie Chart , retail , tampon Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » Why 'You' Is One of the Most Difficult Words to Translate

Saturday 10 September 8:30:00 UTC 2016

This one is tricky, y'all. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rookies only guess they got blackout drunk the night before when the cops wake them up. Pros get shaken awake by cops behind the wheel at 8 a.m, still drunk. And already IN a prison. And wearing women's skinny jeans for some reason [Spiffy]

Saturday 10 September 8:24:06 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman catfished in Philly. Lew Zealand wanted for questioning [Scary]

Saturday 10 September 8:02:46 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » With MRI technique, scientists can make people dislike a person based on their face. Huh, that's nothing, I've been doing that my whole life [Interesting]

Saturday 10 September 7:21:48 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » G4S Secure Solutions fined $151,400 for falsely listing psychological testing information on more than 1,500 forms that allowed employees to carry guns — including Pulse Nightclub mass murderer Omar Mateen [Followup]

Saturday 10 September 6:59:46 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tourists spent $63 million per day in Virginia last year, approximately 3/4 of which went to gas wasted stuck behind side-by-side semis on I-81 [Interesting]

Saturday 10 September 6:29:02 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Hoist, Petard

Saturday 10 September 6:17:07 UTC 2016

The U.S. Navy submarine USS Tang was sunk by her own torpedo. Patrolling off China in October 1944, she fired at a Japanese transport and the electric torpedo, its rudder jammed, curved to the left in a great circle. The submarine put on emergency power to escape the circle, but it had only seconds to do so. Captain Richard O’Kane … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » To be fair, when your cab fare asks to be taken to prison for drinks they could just really like pruno [Fail]

Saturday 10 September 6:16:13 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [5 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman arrested for taking three french fries off a cop's plate. If your older sibling ever did this to you, you'll agree – throw the book at her [Dumbass]

Saturday 10 September 5:51:01 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [130 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Assad woke up and saw his shadow, which means ten more years of civil war [Sad]

Saturday 10 September 5:31:37 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't you wish your car dealership had a real race track for you to test drive your next new car? Welcome to the world's first [Cool]

Saturday 10 September 4:54:58 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Indianpolis infertility doctor decides to take matters into his own hand [Sick]

Saturday 10 September 4:39:50 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [25 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » AloneAgainNaturally says FML

Saturday 10 September 4:33:26 UTC 2016

Today, I found nudes on my boyfriend's phone. We've been together 14 years. They weren't of me. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Chipotle Is Testing Out Delivery by Drone

Saturday 10 September 4:30:00 UTC 2016

Chipotle and Alphabet are teaming up to deliver burritos by drone to hungry students at Virginia Tech. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Helicopter airliners could save us time and lessen the need for building expensive airports. So why don't we have them? [Stupid]

Saturday 10 September 4:12:38 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Schlafly to be reaped by that which she has sown [Murica]

Saturday 10 September 3:53:52 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bishop of Mallorca fired from post by Vatican due to "improper relationship". Clearly, as a relationship with an adult female is pretty much as improper as it can get for a Catholic clergyman [Obvious]

Saturday 10 September 3:04:28 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teen fights off drugged up home intruder with beer and a power tool [Hero]

Saturday 10 September 2:15:10 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » UN: "Aleppo has days of fuel left." Gary Johnson: "What's fuel? You mean the band? Didn't they break up?" [Scary]

Saturday 10 September 1:58:59 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Like raptor hunting, upside-down-girl foot archery, and guys on fire riding horses? Then check out the Kyrgyz World Nomad Games [Spiffy]

Saturday 10 September 1:50:26 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [37 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » RhiannonMuh says FML

Saturday 10 September 1:08:54 UTC 2016

Today, I was on a date with a guy I really like. Everything went well, and then he wanted to kiss me. As he leaned towards me, I got slightly panicky and ducked out of the way, causing him to headbutt the car behind me. Now we know why I'm still a virgin. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yellowstone damaging morons to appear in court in November. Also charged for bad behavior at several other national parks in the Western US. You can't fix stupid, but you can fine it heavily and/or jail it [Followup]

Saturday 10 September 1:08:52 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists measure the force of DNA to be in the range of piconewtons. Whatever that is, it's apparently not strong enough to shoot a hole in an old sock [Interesting]

Saturday 10 September 1:03:48 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10% of Earth’s Wilderness Has Disappeared Since the 1990s

Saturday 10 September 1:00:00 UTC 2016

Wilderness landscapes cease to be wilderness not when humans settle there (many indigenous peoples help preserve rather than erode wilderness), but when humans disturb ecosystems with land conversion, industrial activity, or large-scale infrastructure projects. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » French town fights to keep Big Mac at bay. Royale with Cheese apparently still okay [Interesting]

Saturday 10 September 0:59:56 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stockbroker accused of rape with the "I thought she was crying because my penis is so enormous" defense gets six years in prison from the judge and a huge eyeroll from everyone in the courtroom [Followup]

Saturday 10 September 0:21:35 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Getty purchase to bring back the sexy in Christian art [Spiffy]

Saturday 10 September 0:18:07 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » People still getting arrested for misinterpreting Breaking Bad as a tutorial [Fail]

Saturday 10 September 0:15:55 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Norwegian man faces child porn and cow sex charges, which just shows the cruelty of the world; you're attracted to a young calf and have to go home to a heifer [Sick]

Saturday 10 September 0:14:26 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sure, I'll get the driver's manuals. And don't call me Karen [Unlikely]

Saturday 10 September 0:12:28 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this window washer [Photoshop]

Saturday 10 September 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

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