John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Here's a look at the plane-spotter culture, those people who spend all their free time outside airport fences with cameras: "It's a bit like a drug. I keep telling myself I'm not going to do this, but then I find myself back here"

Saturday 3 September 23:45:00 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Once again the Vikings are descending onto Canada [Interesting]

Saturday 3 September 23:31:24 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sometimes a good deed goes unpunished [Spiffy]

Saturday 3 September 22:14:17 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you go to a restaurant and the menu has pictures of their drinks on it, that just means they want you to hurry up and order [Obvious]

Saturday 3 September 21:37:08 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Unexpected freebies that come with a purchase are one thing, but bags filled with meth stashed in a video game case, well, that's a case for law enforcement [Strange]

Saturday 3 September 20:18:53 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this familiar looking minfig [Photoshop]

Saturday 3 September 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Beards Can (Partly) Tell the History of Civilization

Saturday 3 September 20:00:00 UTC 2016

Hair can be a lot more than a fashion statement. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A paean to Florida man [Florida]

Saturday 3 September 19:58:38 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♫ I'll tumble for ya, I'll tumble for ya / I'll tumble for ya, I'll tumble for you / I'll tumble for ya, I'll tumble for ya / I'll tumble for ya, I'll tumble … ♫ [Sick]

Saturday 3 September 19:40:16 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for wearing Disney princess outfits and harassing women by throwing bras and panties on their driveways. This was not his first time. However, it was his first time as Mulan. Usually he likes to creep women out as Ariel [Scary]

Saturday 3 September 19:27:31 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » According to the 1878 Farmers' Almanac, the best way to get a baby to stay quiet for hours is to smear its fingers with thick molasses and then put half a dozen feathers in its hands [Weird]

Saturday 3 September 19:14:56 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Four year-old kid plays dress-up and then things get out of hand [Strange]

Saturday 3 September 18:53:00 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After 27 years, Jacob Wetterling's killer led authorities to his remains. RIP Jacob [Sad]

Saturday 3 September 18:28:08 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's small, medium, OMG, and now "in your dreams, buddy" [Scary]

Saturday 3 September 18:20:10 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When your wanted poster is so good you must use it as your Facebook profile picture [Stupid]

Saturday 3 September 18:05:47 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Things You Might Not Know About Chili’s Grill

Saturday 3 September 18:00:00 UTC 2016

Who else would you celebrate National Baby Back Ribs Day with? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How to avoid sharks. Surprisingly missing from the list: Stay out of the ocean [Obvious]

Saturday 3 September 17:33:48 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What Is the 'Cone of Uncertainty'?

Saturday 3 September 16:00:00 UTC 2016

Predicting the future inherently involves some level of uncertainty, and some situations are more uncertain than others. Hurricanes are no different. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » London's wealthiest are being priced out of London [Interesting]

Saturday 3 September 15:11:58 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man carries copy of his "young-looking" 32-year-old girlfriend's ID to prove he's not a pedophile [Unlikely]

Saturday 3 September 15:11:14 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [181 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Weekend's Top Amazon Deals You Need to See

Saturday 3 September 15:00:00 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, September 3. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're a cop, can you at least wait until you're off-duty before you have sex with a prostitute, even if your name is Officer Dick [Facepalm]

Saturday 3 September 14:47:13 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Note to pizza delivery drivers: the customers phone numbers are to alert them if you are late, not to send weird texts to 15 year old girls [Creepy]

Saturday 3 September 14:40:13 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Middle-aged Americans more likely to use marijuana than their teenage kids [Spiffy]

Saturday 3 September 14:22:14 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [6 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man caught with sick pictures of pervert having sex with a….FISH [Sick]

Saturday 3 September 14:09:14 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This week, the Saturday Morning Book Club is looking for the best books about mythical or legendary creatures [Interesting]

Saturday 3 September 14:00:00 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 1PM Application Support

Saturday 3 September 13:57:21 UTC 2016

Support tech on headset: Ok, so do you have the application loaded on your handheld now? 45 second pause Support tech: Sir, sir, excuse me, sir, it was a yes or no question. 1521 Pacific Avenue
Santa Cruz, California [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's a very very nice beach, plus terns nest there. SWAT team optional, of course [Amusing]

Saturday 3 September 13:22:47 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this big mouth [Photoshop]

Saturday 3 September 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A 5.6 earthquake wakes up Oklahoma and surrounding states [News]

Saturday 3 September 12:55:49 UTC 2016

News [link] [273 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Senate Candidate George V. Fried

Saturday 3 September 12:45:33 UTC 2016

March 1954: George V. Fried of Oklahoma City announced his candidacy for the U.S. Senate. His platform was, "If it's right, I'm for it."

But when asked what ticket he planned to file on for the race, he replied, "It's none of your ________ business."

Two months later he was arrested, charged with passing an insufficient funds check for slightly … [Link]

Weird Universe » The Giant Bible of 1917

Saturday 3 September 12:45:32 UTC 2016

Why, one hundred years later, can I find no extant traces of this massive Bible?

Original text here.

Original article here.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Maryland has a message for its teenagers: Papers, please [Scary]

Saturday 3 September 12:25:13 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mental health workers are joining Denver police on foot and in their patrol cars to help handle calls involving people in mental health crisis, a new program aimed at getting people into treatment instead of caskets [Spiffy]

Saturday 3 September 12:24:13 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♫ Call Roto-Rooter, that's the name, and up come kittens from the drain ♫ [Caturday]

Saturday 3 September 12:00:00 UTC 2016

Caturday [link] [558 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Japanese reporter thinks something strange is afoot with Putin's schedule, also noticed his recent unpublished obituary and three posthumous articles on his editor's desk [Interesting]

Saturday 3 September 11:17:06 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » USAF was doing the whole Google Earth thing before Google even existed, to keep us safe from the Commies [Interesting]

Saturday 3 September 11:04:00 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Can people live on fruit alone (?) is the eternal question first asked in the garden of Eden. Then man discovered bacon and home fries and said fark it, apples are good, but c'mon [Silly]

Saturday 3 September 10:25:00 UTC 2016

Silly [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Even the Worst Artists Can Learn to Draw With This Kids' App

Saturday 3 September 10:00:00 UTC 2016

Artie's Magic Pencil teaches kids how to draw the world around them using only basic shapes. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "The majority of this week's American mass shootings were fairly typical by national standards" [Followup]

Saturday 3 September 9:06:21 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two months ago: "'I just poured a keg of cleaning fluid all over my pants. Went outside to stand in the sun as a Google Maps car drove by. Look for me on Street View soon. I'll be the guy that looks like he pissed himself.' Today: Hey

Saturday 3 September 8:45:38 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch Rare 'Star Trek' Home Movies

Saturday 3 September 8:00:00 UTC 2016

Including footage of Shatner's Doberman Pinscher, Morgan. [Link]

GraphJam » 

Saturday 3 September 7:19:32 UTC 2016

Bar Graph ents frodo legs Lord of the Rings mount doom on the shoulders of giants pippin Sam THE OTHER ONE - 4105146624 Graph by: Moresheth Tagged: Bar Graph , ents , frodo , legs , Lord of the Rings , mount doom , on the shoulders of giants , pippin , Sam , THE OTHER ONE Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Whoops, Was I Supposed to Leave My Portal There?

Saturday 3 September 7:19:22 UTC 2016

best of week,co-op,Pie Chart,Portal,video games [polldaddy poll="5611528"] Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , co-op , Pie Chart , Portal , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Despite the best efforts of anti-vaxxers, chickenpox cases in the US are down 85% [Giggity]

Saturday 3 September 7:08:44 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stressed out at work? Why not fondle a prosthetic scrotum and testicles mounted under your desk? (probably Not safe for work) [Giggity]

Saturday 3 September 6:52:17 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Crossing Guard

Saturday 3 September 6:41:58 UTC 2016

Suppose some 2n points in the plane are chosen so that no three are collinear, and then half are colored red and half blue. Will it always be possible to connect each red point with a blue one, in pairs, so that none of the connecting lines intersect? SelectClick for Answer Yes. Since n is finite, there are a limited … [Link]

Mental Floss » Beautiful and Historic Glass Models of Sea Creatures Are on Display in New Exhibit

Saturday 3 September 6:00:00 UTC 2016

In the late 19th century, the Blaschka glass models of marine invertebrates ended up all over the world. Now some are on display at the Corning Museum of Glass. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Being a TV weatherman in Phoenix should not be a hard job, except for having to come up with new ways to say "it's hot" each day [Amusing]

Saturday 3 September 5:22:56 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Lawyer Visits Every NYC Subway Station in Record-Breaking Speed

Saturday 3 September 4:00:00 UTC 2016

He made it to all 469 stations in 21 hours, 28 minutes, and 14 seconds. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Delta Airlines claims a power outage cost it about $100M, which is about 10 minutes of baggage fees [Obvious]

Saturday 3 September 3:37:55 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some kids want birthday cakes shaped like cars, others want sports themed ones. And then there is this kid [Weird]

Saturday 3 September 3:08:35 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man, that is a rough 38 [Florida]

Saturday 3 September 3:03:34 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California legislature takes time from their busy schedule to make denim the official state fabric thanks to assembly bill 501 [Misc]

Saturday 3 September 2:56:43 UTC 2016

Misc [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kid hands out ghost peppers in school lunch room and all hell breaks loose [Stupid]

Saturday 3 September 2:51:27 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hermine kills 1. Snape kills Dumbledore [Scary]

Saturday 3 September 2:46:19 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Future generations will point to the NAFTA superhighway connecting FEMA concentration camps and say it all started with a bike path [Obvious]

Saturday 3 September 2:45:29 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chinese NOPE bridge closed to upgrade the area due to the high number of visitors and NOT because it's a giant deathtrap [Followup]

Saturday 3 September 2:33:44 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Point: You can help advocate for immigrants. Counterpoint: You'll have to stare at a naked statue of Donald Trump in your living room [Interesting]

Saturday 3 September 2:32:43 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An ISIS supporter compared martyrdom to the Super Mario Brother 'warp zone'. More like negative world [Interesting]

Saturday 3 September 2:21:53 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Enraged Pikmin fans" … no wait come back this is important [Strange]

Saturday 3 September 2:14:49 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [24 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 3 September 1:34:15 UTC 2016

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd drive me to the jeweler's to pick out a ring. We drove there, I picked the ring, and the sales person rang it up. I glanced at my boyfriend, only for him to reply, "Well don't look at me!" FML [Link]

FMyLife » whoops says FML

Saturday 3 September 1:34:14 UTC 2016

Today, I accidentally sent my boss an explicit text message. She replied saying, "Very detailed, if only you put that much effort into your work". FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Arrest made in Kaija attack on local grocery store. Man, the Pacific Rim sequel looks like crap [Dumbass]

Saturday 3 September 1:18:24 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Ummm… thanks for the birthday cake Mom, but it kinda wants to make me puke after reminding me of my hangover" [Amusing]

Saturday 3 September 1:12:49 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Christian Pastor says he resurrected a dead woman by "Sending a text message through Facebook". Jesus strangely unavailable for comment [Unlikely]

Saturday 3 September 0:32:04 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not as good as Buddha's face on a piece of toast, but almost [Asinine]

Saturday 3 September 0:31:04 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this moose reconstruction [Photoshop]

Saturday 3 September 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

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