John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Mental Floss » Amtrak Will Introduce New High-Speed Trains in 2021

Monday 29 August 23:30:00 UTC 2016

In a few short years, travelers will be able to zip along the Northeast Corridor in a brand new fleet of high-speed Amtrak trains. [Link]

Mental Floss » Some Catfish Are Eating A Large Amount of Mice, Study Finds

Monday 29 August 23:00:00 UTC 2016

Lesser salmon catfish love gobbling up mice, just like cats. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Iran rolls out domestic internet. It's like the regular internet but without the things anyone wants, like porn, music, porn, movies, porn, gambling, and porn [Silly]

Monday 29 August 22:48:31 UTC 2016

Silly [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Elephant Footprints Are Swimming Pools For Invertebrates

Monday 29 August 22:30:00 UTC 2016

Every time an African elephant takes a step, it inadvertently creates a home for other animals. [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Thrilling Facts About ‘Rear Window’

Monday 29 August 22:00:00 UTC 2016

Alfred Hitchcock taught us all the dangers of spying on your neighbors with this 1954 thriller. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » #TheZuckening is the next stage in meme pages' crusade against Facebook [Interesting]

Monday 29 August 21:49:43 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Greek Statues Were Once Covered in Colorful Paint

Monday 29 August 21:30:00 UTC 2016

Ancient art was a lot more radiant than you might think. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After sex toy theft, police are probing for witnesses. Investigation is grinding to a halt [Amusing]

Monday 29 August 21:24:34 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do you enjoy a cocktail with horseradish and beet-root? You have similar tastes to Putin [Interesting]

Monday 29 August 21:23:35 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Iceroad Truckers' star Darrell Ward killed in plane crash while traveling to begin filming a pilot for a new show involving the recovery of plane crashes [Ironic]

Monday 29 August 21:06:37 UTC 2016

Ironic [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bobbies lobby to allow policemen to openly wear tattoos on the job, "arguing that the service needs to better reflect modern Britain" [Strange]

Monday 29 August 21:05:36 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Stamina Watch: Trump vs. Hillary. Who Lasts Longer?" Please be about the bedroom please be about the bedroom [Silly]

Monday 29 August 21:05:36 UTC 2016

Silly [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Andrea Tantaros will take a lie detector test if Roger Ailes and Fox Execs will too. She has a list of questions for them to answer [Followup]

Monday 29 August 21:04:25 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Computer Can Replicate Individual Handwriting With Impressive Accuracy

Monday 29 August 21:00:00 UTC 2016

London-based computer scientists have created an algorithm that can mimic the handwriting of Arthur Conan Doyle, Frida Kahlo, or you and me. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man says he believed he was God until one of his sexual attack victims bit him, although why Morgan Freeman would attack anyone is unknown [Strange]

Monday 29 August 20:41:34 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Paid Sick Days Lower the General Flu Rate

Monday 29 August 20:30:00 UTC 2016

Unfortunately, many workers aren't able to take a sick day. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this exercise guru [Photoshop]

Monday 29 August 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » iPads May Be Better Than Sedatives for Kids About to Undergo Surgery

Monday 29 August 20:00:00 UTC 2016

Your kid's screen affinity may be a good thing. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's becoming increasingly difficult to separate reality from parody as Sarah Palin falls down and cracks her head and finds a way to turn the incident into an attack on Hillary Clinton [Facepalm]

Monday 29 August 19:47:06 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [262 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » For the First Time, Ancient Egyptian Texts Available in Rare English Translations

Monday 29 August 19:44:15 UTC 2016

Get an unprecedented glimpse into daily life in ancient Egypt. [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Don't Ants Gain Fat?

Monday 29 August 19:30:00 UTC 2016

If an ant has extra calories, she will share them with her nestmates. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Willy Wonka, the Waco Kid, and Dr. Frederick Frankenstein all pass away on the same day. RIP Gene Wilder [NewsFlash]

Monday 29 August 19:26:31 UTC 2016

NewsFlash [link] [764 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 315 Years of the American Slave Trade in 2 Minutes

Monday 29 August 19:00:00 UTC 2016

Slate's animated history of the slave ships that crossed the Atlantic with human cargo illuminates the trade's impact on both North and South America. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In an attempt to speed up the Redneck Apocalypse, Walmart sues Texas in an effort to sell hard liquor to customers [Scary]

Monday 29 August 18:58:27 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [124 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mom can I have a puppy? "No." How about a baby rhino? "Okay" [Spiffy]

Monday 29 August 18:36:36 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » These Are Monday's Most Amazing Amazon Deals

Monday 29 August 18:17:37 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, August 29. [Link]

Mental Floss » 14 Extreme (And Delicious) Uses For Bacon

Monday 29 August 18:00:00 UTC 2016

To get the most out of your bacon, learn to weave it into shapes. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Huma cuts off Weiner [Followup]

Monday 29 August 17:20:33 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [300 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Bea Arthur's Namesake Shelter for Gay Youth to Open by February 2017

Monday 29 August 17:00:00 UTC 2016

Arthur left $300,000 to New York City’s Ali Forney Center after her death in 2009. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » San Francisco's rent is so high that this woman chose to live homeless [Sad]

Monday 29 August 16:55:46 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [167 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What Happened to the Physical Copy of the "I Have a Dream" Speech?

Monday 29 August 16:53:21 UTC 2016

For two decades, it was kept inside of a Harry Truman biography for safekeeping. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sunday storm in Manitoba brought hail the size of nickels, loonies and even eggs, three acknowledged forms of measurement when it comes to precipitation [Followup]

Monday 29 August 16:48:47 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 14 Captivating Facts About Carnivorous Plants

Monday 29 August 16:30:00 UTC 2016

These plants bite back. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember to turn up for work today. Your king might be there, demanding explanations [Scary]

Monday 29 August 16:26:47 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Fresh Hell

Monday 29 August 16:15:31 UTC 2016

The Battle of the Somme saw the advent of a frightening new engine of war. “A man came running in from the left, shouting, ‘There is a crocodile crawling in our lines!'” recalled one German infantryman. “The poor wretch was off his head. He had seen a tank for the first time and had imagined this giant of a machine, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: A change to Fark that you won't hate [FarkBlog]

Monday 29 August 15:48:03 UTC 2016

FarkBlog [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Pick the Missing Words From These 1990 Movie Titles

Monday 29 August 15:38:52 UTC 2016

Take the quiz! [Link]

Mental Floss » Name the Animal in These Expressions

Monday 29 August 15:38:50 UTC 2016

Take the quiz! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The 50 least powerful people in the world. List somehow fails to mention the shy intern with the weird name that works in the basement, or the homeless dude in Uruguay that lives somewhere in the forest [Interesting]

Monday 29 August 15:31:43 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How the New York DMV Nabs Identity Thieves

Monday 29 August 15:30:00 UTC 2016

Some clever new technology is making it even less likely to obtain a driver's license under false pretenses. [Link]

Weird Universe » Buttered Flip

Monday 29 August 15:20:03 UTC 2016


In an old American medical journal, The Philadelphia Medical Museum (1811 – Vol 1, No.4), Dr. Richard Hazeltine of Berwick, Maine shared a traditional yankee recipe for "buttered flip" cough medicine:

Often in the imbecile age of childhood, after I had gone to bed have I sip'd, and with no great reluctance, the steeming, salutiferous "buttered flip;" administered by the … [Link]

Mental Floss » The Dying Art of Skywriting

Monday 29 August 15:00:00 UTC 2016

Everyone loves a message in the clouds, but very few people can make them like they used to. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Something did not happen at LAX [Strange]

Monday 29 August 14:50:13 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Grandma got run over by a reindeer, wreaks horrible vengeance from Heaven [Sad]

Monday 29 August 14:42:34 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » These Desert Birds Make Jerk Stepdads

Monday 29 August 14:30:00 UTC 2016

Researchers say male southern pied babblers will push their stepsons out of the group while promoting their biological sons. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Jersey police blame forty-nine deaths on na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN heroin [Scary]

Monday 29 August 14:20:49 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [90 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » tragic says FML

Monday 29 August 14:08:18 UTC 2016

Today, I got dumped for the second time by the guy that I'd been seeing. He actually forgot that he'd already dumped me once this week and did it again. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption what Zuckerberg is thinking [Caption]

Monday 29 August 14:00:00 UTC 2016

Caption [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Zika virus is being spread by: A) mosquitoes; B) tainted blood; C) apathy [Scary]

Monday 29 August 13:44:32 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [115 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I Know You Are but What Am I

Monday 29 August 13:32:52 UTC 2016

Supervisor: I'm sorry, but were you just talking on a call? You aren't supposed to be talking on calls.
Operator: Well, I wasn't, but now I'm talking to you.
(supervisor walks off) Memphis, Tennessee Overheard by: Rider [Link]

Mental Floss » Experience Yosemite in Virtual Reality With President Obama

Monday 29 August 13:30:00 UTC 2016

Celebrate the centennial of the National Park Service in 360 degrees. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman finally gets an answer to a message in a bottle which she placed in the water in 1995 as an 8-year-old child [Followup]

Monday 29 August 13:20:24 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this big cowpoke [Photoshop]

Monday 29 August 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Michael Jackson Bought the Publishing Rights to The Beatles Catalogue

Monday 29 August 13:00:00 UTC 2016

The King of Pop once took some business advice from Paul McCartney—and used it to buy all of the Beatles song collection. [Link]

Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 119: Lost in the Taiga

Monday 29 August 12:34:29 UTC 2016


In 1978 a team of geologists discovered a family of five living deep in the Siberian forest, 150 miles from the nearest village. Fearing persecution, they had lived entirely on their own since 1936, praying, tending a meager garden, and suffering through winter temperatures of 40 below zero. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll meet the … [Link]

Mental Floss » Fig Pollination Is Incredible (And Probably Results In You Eating Mummified Wasps)

Monday 29 August 12:30:00 UTC 2016

The fruit and its wasp have been evolving together for millions of years. [Link]

Weird Universe » Turtle Clapping

Monday 29 August 12:10:58 UTC 2016

The only source that I can find for this supposedly ancient and semi-legendary practice is a single article in FIELD AND STREAM.

Was the reporter getting his leg pulled? Did the practice exist, then die off? Inquiring minds want to know! [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Decide to Work Remotely

Monday 29 August 12:00:00 UTC 2016

The allure of working in your pajamas and having a five-step commute is understandable—but do you have the will-power needed to keep your nose to the grindstone? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rural EMS to stop carrying EpiPens over cost hikes. Peanuts, bee stings seen giving each other high fives [Asinine]

Monday 29 August 11:50:46 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [303 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Homemade Batman Costume Breaks World Record

Monday 29 August 11:30:00 UTC 2016

The Batman costume just broke the Guinness World Record for “Most Functional Gadgets on a Cos-Play Suit." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Burkina Faso does not like big butts and they cannot lie [Silly]

Monday 29 August 11:22:30 UTC 2016

Silly [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Paleontologist Jack Horner of Jurassic Park fame pushed into retirement after discovering a rare specimen known as Matrimonius Undergradiata [Giggity]

Monday 29 August 11:10:45 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [212 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mortal Wombat, Mongolian Beef, and Skynet learning, but from all the wrong sites: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/21 – 8/27 [FarkBlog]

Monday 29 August 10:58:27 UTC 2016

FarkBlog [link] [2 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Tip of the Hat

Monday 29 August 10:45:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » The hottest drink of the summer is this sort of wine slushie [Stupid]

Monday 29 August 10:16:00 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [33 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » MadWorld says FML

Monday 29 August 9:37:25 UTC 2016

Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana Grace. My sister just revealed she is having a girl and naming her Hana Grace since "the name is up for grabs now". FML [Link]

FMyLife » Unemployed says FML

Monday 29 August 9:37:24 UTC 2016

Today, I discovered that my supervisor, who I thought liked me, actually thinks I am incompetent and lack emotional intelligence. I'm a student nurse and I've just listed her as my reference for our single, statewide job application. There's no way to change it. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: A Simulated Year on Mars

Monday 29 August 9:00:00 UTC 2016

Start a great week with these great links! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It was only a matter of time before some carney decided to try selling deep fried Jell-O at the state fair [Obvious]

Monday 29 August 8:40:30 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [37 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Lennyr says FML

Monday 29 August 8:08:16 UTC 2016

Today, I gave birth to my first born child. Somehow, my mom and mother in law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother in law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 of the World’s Most Beautiful Public Gardens

Monday 29 August 8:00:00 UTC 2016

These gardens are worth the trip. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Prison escapee, unhappy with her posted mugshot, offers media a more flattering image [Amusing]

Monday 29 August 8:00:00 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Introducing a New and Improved Airplane Headrest

Monday 29 August 7:00:00 UTC 2016

Bye-bye, neck pillows. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As if millennials didn't have enough to be blamed about, they can now add 'declining sales of bars of soap' to that list [Stupid]

Monday 29 August 6:08:00 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [208 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know the drill. Someone steals your dog. You post it on Facebook. It gets more than ten thousand shares. Your dog is recovered 962 miles from home and returned to you. That's how the internet works [Unlikely]

Monday 29 August 5:34:00 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Anthony Weiner is at it again, but this time with both the little Weiners in frame (possibly not safe for work) [Weeners]

Monday 29 August 5:07:32 UTC 2016

Weeners [link] [284 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tybee Island police shocked to find beheaded voodoo doll outside their station. They know its a real one because it has a label that says "Voo Doo" right on it. Bonus disfigured lizard adds to the mumbo jumbo mojo [Fail]

Monday 29 August 4:18:00 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Book-Themed Enamel Pins Are the Perfect Thing for Trendy Readers

Monday 29 August 4:00:00 UTC 2016

Now you can show off your favorite book right on your lapel. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Story of Hachikō, Japan’s Famously Loyal Dog

Monday 29 August 2:00:00 UTC 2016

Man's best friend—no matter what. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who's joining Donald Trump for dinner? Use Photoshop to solve the mystery [Photoshop]

Monday 29 August 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » You Didn't Know Mushrooms Could Do All This

Monday 29 August 0:00:00 UTC 2016

You can use them as food, shelter, filters, biofuel, insulation, mosquito traps…. [Link]

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