John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » The hills are al- … holy crap [Scary]

Monday 1 August 23:07:11 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Music Video Milestones That Predated MTV

Monday 1 August 23:00:00 UTC 2016

MTV debuted in 1981, but the history of the music video dates back to the late 1800s. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After he actually contacted the FDA about getting the blood of the young and poor to sustain himself indefinitely, Gawker outs Peter Thiel as an apparent vampire [Creepy]

Monday 1 August 22:58:10 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark-ready headline: "Man has no idea why former coworker blew up his home" [Awkward]

Monday 1 August 22:37:50 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Goofus rants at critics on social media. Gallant soothes critics with apologies. Kevin does doughnuts on critic's yard [Florida]

Monday 1 August 22:36:38 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Online Grocery Shopping Is on the Rise

Monday 1 August 22:30:00 UTC 2016

Thirty-one percent of Americans (and 45 percent of online shoppers) reported purchasing groceries online in the last six months. [Link]

Mental Floss » Take an ASL Tour of the West Wing with the Deaf Receptionist Who Works There

Monday 1 August 22:00:00 UTC 2016

She worked at the Chicago of office of Obama's 2012 re-election campaign and then as an assistant in the office of First Lady Michelle Obama. In her current position, she welcomes visitors to the West Wing. [Link]

Mental Floss » Survey Shows a Third of Adults Under 45 Get Financial Help From Their Parents

Monday 1 August 20:58:05 UTC 2016

A survey from the Society for Grownups found that 1 out of 3 adults aged 21 to 45 gets some kind of monetary support, often in the form of a cell phone plan. [Link]

Mental Floss » Monday's Amazon Deals You Have Got to See

Monday 1 August 20:57:55 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, August 1. [Link]

Mental Floss » Should You Really Not Eat Oysters in Months Without an 'R'?

Monday 1 August 20:57:53 UTC 2016

Avoiding oysters throughout the summer is now a thing of the past. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: The "Men"

Monday 1 August 20:57:48 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study confirms what we've suspected all along – office workers are only productive three days a week. Add a Fark handle and it drops even more [Obvious]

Monday 1 August 20:36:46 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 Simple Home Decorating Tips for the Design-Challenged

Monday 1 August 20:30:00 UTC 2016

Some folks have a natural eye for design and can create a beautifully decorated room in their sleep. The rest of us need a little help. [Link]

FMyLife » TheodoreFinches says FML

Monday 1 August 20:18:02 UTC 2016

Today, on the bus ride home from work, two women behind me kept pulling my hair. I turned around and told them to, "cut it out." When I got home, I realized they'd took it literally. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just when you thought August had no holidays, along comes "Loaf Fest," the Pagan fire festival where you get to load up on carbs, drink wine, and maybe get in a ritual sacrifice [Cool]

Monday 1 August 20:01:54 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this futuristic hallway [Photoshop]

Monday 1 August 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Officer Lou is getting tired of a suspect that's been taunting NYPD officers using a lost or stolen police radio [Weird]

Monday 1 August 19:46:35 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What is the Biggest Building on Earth?

Monday 1 August 19:30:00 UTC 2016

Hint: Airplanes take up a lot of space. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mark your calendars, The Bayou City is hosting one of Fark's finest on Thursday, 09/22/16 at 7pm [FarkParty]

Monday 1 August 19:29:21 UTC 2016

FarkParty [link] [150 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Le'Mons at the Concours d'Elegance of America proves that every dog has his day. And every Gremlin, every Pacer, every Pinto and every surviving Corvair owner [Cool]

Monday 1 August 19:09:12 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When your alarm clock's a rooster: not terribly weird. When your alarm clock is 11 roosters that live with you in a cave: OK, weird. When you're almost 80 and have been living this way for 40 years: Fark-level weird [Interesting]

Monday 1 August 19:02:49 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Netflixers are Getting a Much Better Deal Than Cable Subscribers

Monday 1 August 19:00:00 UTC 2016

On average, cable users pay over three times as much for every hour of entertainment watched. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dear sober me: I DO WHAT I WANT [Awkward]

Monday 1 August 18:36:02 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: Still turtling [FarkBlog]

Monday 1 August 18:33:02 UTC 2016

FarkBlog [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Cute Facts About Crickets

Monday 1 August 18:30:00 UTC 2016

They’re living thermometers with ears on their knees—and they just might save the world. [Link]

Futility Closet » Too Late

Monday 1 August 18:04:10 UTC 2016

For 500 years it was thought that Geoffrey Chaucer had written The Testament of Love, a medieval dialogue between a prisoner and a lady. But in the late 1800s, British philologists Walter Skeat and Henry Bradshaw discovered that the initial letters of the poem’s sections form an acrostic, spelling “MARGARET OF VIRTU HAVE MERCI ON THINUSK” [“thine Usk”]. It’s now … [Link]

Mental Floss » ‘Star Wars’ Fan Theory Suggests Rey is From the Dark Side

Monday 1 August 18:00:00 UTC 2016

First name: Rey. Last name: Palpatine? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Now I am not a superstitious man, but when a "smiley face" appears in the caldera of a volcano shortly before it erupts, that CAN'T be good. No sir, not good at all [Strange]

Monday 1 August 17:57:02 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Whoever picked 'Olympic Sailing Ramp' as the first structure to collapse, please step forward to claim your prize [Obvious]

Monday 1 August 17:50:34 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Ike Gravelle, Montana’s Original Dynamiting Extortionist

Monday 1 August 17:30:00 UTC 2016

His attempts to dynamite Northern Pacific Railroad tracks foreshadowed the Unabomber—but he had very different goals. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Swedish man walks into McDonald's with a dead badger. Then things get weird [Strange]

Monday 1 August 17:26:40 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Job listing for an 'Ass Manager' sees hundreds of people come for apply. Oddly enough they all listed Drew as a reference [Fail]

Monday 1 August 17:21:25 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pope found to not be infallible, Australia now stalking Indonesia, and the Small-Handed Talking Yam of Evil & Chaos: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/24 – 7/30 [FarkBlog]

Monday 1 August 17:18:28 UTC 2016

FarkBlog [link] [5 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: "Hold my beer and watch this." New hotness: "Hold my beer and watch me win a gold medal" [Spiffy]

Monday 1 August 16:50:54 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » We’re Back!?!

Monday 1 August 16:35:00 UTC 2016

Fellow WU-vies–it appears that thanks to the help-line persistence and technical prowess of Alex, we are now able to make new posts from scratch. The ones you saw this weekend–when the site wasn't down–were old ones from the queue which the glitchy software somehow still allowed us to bring live.

In any case, here's to at least another eight years … [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Fun Facts about The Baby-sitters Club

Monday 1 August 16:30:00 UTC 2016

The first Baby-sitters Club book was released 30 years ago this month. [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Trivia Questions in 15 Different Subjects

Monday 1 August 16:27:22 UTC 2016

Take the quiz! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Living in poverty is expensive [Obvious]

Monday 1 August 16:21:50 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [170 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » World's most expensive cheese comes from donkeys, probably tastes like ass [Weird]

Monday 1 August 16:13:50 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: Revogi Bluetooth outlet converter and meter. Measure the amount of electricity your appliances and devices use. Wireless control and scheduling. In my day, I had to "clap on, clap off." (Sponsored Link) [Plug]

Monday 1 August 15:33:56 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [4 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Researchers Find Genetic Regions Associated with Depression

Monday 1 August 15:31:00 UTC 2016

A large study identified 15 areas of the genome that were significantly more common in people with depression. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Hey Scruffy, hold my beer" [Amusing]

Monday 1 August 14:36:27 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Roger Ebert-Approved Movies Hitting Netflix This Month

Monday 1 August 14:30:00 UTC 2016

The late critic had a soft spot for 'The Fast and the Furious,' a film "without a brain in its head." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever wonder if PTSD is "real"? [Dumbass]

Monday 1 August 14:14:48 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [241 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » See-Through Luggage

Monday 1 August 14:11:00 UTC 2016

Sold by Crumpler for AU$745 (about $564).

If you buy this, it seems like it would be almost a crime not to pack something weird inside it, such as an inflatable love doll.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your desk. Show it to me [Interesting]

Monday 1 August 14:00:00 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [263 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cylon supporters found in mass grave. Adama sought for questioning [Creepy]

Monday 1 August 13:48:54 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Without Warning, My Metaphor Turned on Me

Monday 1 August 13:41:42 UTC 2016

Worker #1: Well, yeah, I was hoping to spend more time with Stan* in the future.
Worker #2, soon to go overseas: Yeah, you can fill the gaping hole in his life when I leave.
Worker #1: I thought we could fill each other’s gaping holes.
Worker #2: Argh! 162 Goulburn Street
Sydney
Australia Overheard by: Warlach [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this big pile of … sugar? [Photoshop]

Monday 1 August 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Meet the Kankakee Mallow: a Flower Only Found on a Small Island in Illinois

Monday 1 August 13:00:00 UTC 2016

Until recently, the plant hadn't been seen in the wild in 10 years. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 12-year-old girl organizes volunteer day, rallies friends, schoolmates to clean up local pet cemetery. No animals, people were resurrected during this event [Spiffy]

Monday 1 August 12:33:00 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Adventurous Facts About Recreational Equipment, Inc. (REI)

Monday 1 August 12:30:00 UTC 2016

4. One of its first employees was also the first American to summit Mount Everest. [Link]

Mental Floss » Artists Convert Children's Drawings Into Adorable Jewelry

Monday 1 August 12:00:00 UTC 2016

Turkish jewelry company Tasarim Takarim immortalizes the wild, creative imaginations of children by making custom jewelry based on their art. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here is why you may end up living in a shipping container….down by the river [Interesting]

Monday 1 August 11:50:33 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New York Post publishes not safe for work nude photos of a presidential candidate's spouse. *crosses fingers* please be Bill, please be Bill (Not safe for work) [Murica]

Monday 1 August 11:43:00 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [349 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » German Airline Increases Weight Allowance for Passengers With Books

Monday 1 August 11:30:00 UTC 2016

The campaign encourages more people to read and to shop at local bookstores. [Link]

Mental Floss » The "Men"

Monday 1 August 11:20:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » Restaurant Chef Serves Up Detailed Pancake Art

Monday 1 August 11:00:00 UTC 2016

Meowth never looked so tasty. [Link]

Mental Floss » Kids Write Song to Try and Save Their School From Closure

Monday 1 August 10:30:00 UTC 2016

Can a song help save Baverstock Academy from closure? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump's face put in most prominent place in an Irish pub [Amusing]

Monday 1 August 10:03:33 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [57 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Disappointed Mom says FML

Monday 1 August 9:31:27 UTC 2016

Today, I was supposed to be enjoying a long-anticipated, desperately needed, weekend away. Turns out those "little stomach twinges" were actually symptoms of appendicitis. I'm stuck in the hospital, alone, recovering from surgery, while my family is enjoying our non-refundable break. FML [Link]

GraphJam » Where to Find These People

Monday 1 August 9:08:45 UTC 2016

Murderers Prostitutes Where to Find These People Pedophiles Craigslist Chat rooms Red Light District Back of Alleys Graph by: Mantis15 Tagged: chat rooms , craigslist , internet , murderers , pedophiles , prostitutes Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Question: It's 2016, where are my flying cars? Answer: Up in DeAir and down on DeLand [Florida]

Monday 1 August 9:02:33 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Famous Birthdays to Celebrate in August

Monday 1 August 8:30:00 UTC 2016

Some of our favorite historical figures were born in the month of August. We couldn't possibly name them all, but here are just a handful of lives we'll be celebrating. [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Smelly Facts About Passing Gas

Monday 1 August 7:30:00 UTC 2016

Number 1: Most people pass gas about 14 to 23 times a day. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Eagle chases away a man that was bothering it and flies off with his cell phone. Can we get one of these for my movie theater? [Murica]

Monday 1 August 7:07:33 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Perimeter Check

Monday 1 August 6:43:41 UTC 2016

A puzzle by Matt Parker of standupmaths: The standard paper size A4 has dimensions in the ratio  1:\sqrt{2} . Hold a piece of A4 paper horizontally, as shown, and fold down the top left corner to meet the other side, creating fold AB, as if you were going to make a paper square. Then fold down the top right corner to meet … [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 Ways Kids Make the Most of Each Day

Monday 1 August 6:30:00 UTC 2016

Presented by American Family Insurance. [Link]

FMyLife » sexisdead says FML

Monday 1 August 6:16:23 UTC 2016

Today, my wife discovered Cosmopolitan magazine, and now only wants to have sex if I agree to try some of their sex tips. I fear for my genitals. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teenager makes racist tweets, fails to scrub her account before she gets famous [Dumbass]

Monday 1 August 5:33:00 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [323 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How To Cure Your Hiccups In 15 Seconds Or Less

Monday 1 August 5:30:00 UTC 2016

We're going to let you in on a little secret… [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Offbeat Holidays You Can Celebrate in August

Monday 1 August 4:30:00 UTC 2016

Grab your relatives and some marshmallows and let's party. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 7000 Turkish troops surround and seal off US/NATO nuclear air base. It's just a "safety inspection." Nothing to see here, move along [News]

Monday 1 August 3:57:56 UTC 2016

News [link] [290 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just a reminder – If you are using duct tape to restrain a burglar, it's probably not a good idea to tie it tightly around his nose and mouth [Obvious]

Monday 1 August 2:52:56 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [137 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What Do Chess, Aliens, and a Russian Politician Have to Do With Each Other?

Monday 1 August 2:30:00 UTC 2016

Chess is a game of smarts, patience, and the ability to think ahead. But is there something more involved? Something … out of this world? [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 1 August 0:32:52 UTC 2016

Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML [Link]

FMyLife » suspended says FML

Monday 1 August 0:32:51 UTC 2016

Today, I had to give an important presentation, so I checked it over one last time before taking a shower and heading out. I found out too late that my brother used that window of opportunity to replace the entire document with the N-word repeating over and over again. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 1 August 0:32:50 UTC 2016

Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » The Science Behind a Bed of Nails

Monday 1 August 0:30:00 UTC 2016

A bed of ONE nail is far more dangerous than a bed crammed with them. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Donald Trump announces sponsorship of US Olympic team [Fail]

Monday 1 August 0:13:03 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [159 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this old mooring web ring [Photoshop]

Monday 1 August 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

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