Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Ladies, you're either a poodle – or a wolf [Interesting]

Sunday 17 July 23:45:34 UTC 2016

[link] [146 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 17 July 22:56:47 UTC 2016

Today, my elderly coworker was telling me about a long-lost friend, so I helped her use the Internet to look the friend up. We found her. Specifically, her obituary. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 17 July 22:56:46 UTC 2016

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy several years ago. I've been faithful the whole time, but he wouldn't believe me, even after I showed him that vasectomies can reverse themselves. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Missed it by that much [Awkward]

Sunday 17 July 22:44:15 UTC 2016

[link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Rich Facts About 'Arthur'

Sunday 17 July 22:30:00 UTC 2016

The Oscar-winning comedy was released 35 years ago. [Link]

Mental Floss » Want a Burger From This Food Truck? Better Put On Your Running Shoes

Sunday 17 July 20:30:00 UTC 2016

The Moving Food Truck brought a whole new meaning to the term "fast food." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Step 1: Park in library parking only. Step 2: Leave library to shop elsewhere. Step 3: Call news station to complain after car gets booted. Step 4: Learn to read [Asinine]

Sunday 17 July 20:22:16 UTC 2016

[link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this artful sketch [Photoshop]

Sunday 17 July 20:00:01 UTC 2016

[link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Okay, now we can add the Sixth Amendment to the list of Constitutional rights Kentucky has no farking clue about [Fail]

Sunday 17 July 19:58:22 UTC 2016

[link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hostage situation in Baltimore; 7-year-old is among hostages being held at a Burger King. UPDATE: Suspect in custody. Hostages are safe and unharmed [NewsFlash]

Sunday 17 July 19:29:13 UTC 2016

[link] [276 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » News of the Weird (July 17, 2016)

Sunday 17 July 19:16:03 UTC 2016

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M484, July 17, 2016
Copyright 2016 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

Fashion Challenges: Beautician Sarah Bryan, 28, of Wakefield, England, who garnered worldwide notoriety last year when she introduced a wearable dress made of 3,000 Skittles, returned this summer with a wearable skirt and bra made of donated human hair (a substantial amount, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » UFO shown over World Trade Center. Ground Zero. This means something, we swear [Amusing]

Sunday 17 July 19:09:15 UTC 2016

[link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drunk, naked, and rolling around in a hog barn is no way to go through life, son [Obvious]

Sunday 17 July 17:39:13 UTC 2016

[link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: Machine learning Python libraries course, applied to quantitative trading and financial models. Taught by Google and Flipkart alum. (Sponsored Link) [Plug]

Sunday 17 July 17:26:45 UTC 2016

[link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Laserbeak shot down in Somalia. Soundwave incomprehensible [Amusing]

Sunday 17 July 17:22:35 UTC 2016

[link] [30 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » ObviousBooty says FML

Sunday 17 July 17:13:24 UTC 2016

Today, me and my dad were in a sort of prank war. I decided to get him back for one last time tonight, so I hid in his office to scare him. This would have been okay had I not caught him watching porn. I had to hide for an hour. FML [Link]

FMyLife » mbbcjuliet says FML

Sunday 17 July 17:13:23 UTC 2016

Today, I'm pretty sure my sister is being catfished. Now I have the choice of either telling her and risking her staying with her abusive husband or letting her think her new "boyfriend" is a good guy who didn't just "accidentally" send me a shower picture. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Heard enough news about Pokemon Go over the last week? Too bad…because it's now launching in 26 additional countries, bringing 26 times the potential headline submissions. It's not news, it's FarkemonGO.com [Followup]

Sunday 17 July 16:34:14 UTC 2016

[link] [106 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Douglas Corrigan 'Accidentally' Flew to Ireland Today in 1938

Sunday 17 July 16:30:00 UTC 2016

The greatest "mistake" in aviation history. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nice attacker upgraded from lone wolf to ISIS terrorist [Followup]

Sunday 17 July 15:55:18 UTC 2016

[link] [201 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Researchers found that available kidneys were less likely to be harvested from potential donors over the weekend and more likely to be discarded when they were procured on a Saturday or Sunday" [Weird]

Sunday 17 July 15:46:34 UTC 2016

[link] [18 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Week's Best Amazon Deals You Can Still Get

Sunday 17 July 15:30:00 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, we share some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. These items were the ones that were the most popular with our readers this week, and they’re still available. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dangerous "heat dome" forming over the United States, especially the Midwest region [Scary]

Sunday 17 July 15:22:20 UTC 2016

[link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Three officers shot dead nearby Baton Rouge PD headquarters. Multiple agencies responding [NewsFlash]

Sunday 17 July 15:21:37 UTC 2016

[link] [1391 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Maybe next time you should try towing it a bit farther out…like, say, somewhere near Hawaii [Followup]

Sunday 17 July 15:00:11 UTC 2016

[link] [42 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Lil Bro says FML

Sunday 17 July 14:38:23 UTC 2016

Today, after months of trying to make my girlfriend orgasm, she finally did. It was with my brother. I'll definitely knock next time. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Tank says FML

Sunday 17 July 14:38:22 UTC 2016

Today, my roommate is being evicted. Since we had some very good memories together I was sad to come home and see all of her stuff gone…and half of my stuff, too. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 17 Scrumptious Ice Cream Idioms from All Over the U.S.

Sunday 17 July 14:30:00 UTC 2016

Happy National Ice Cream Day! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The situation is berry serious, hopefully we can freezie organized crime in its tracks [Weird]

Sunday 17 July 14:00:32 UTC 2016

[link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Sorry, no backpacks in the movie theater." "It's not a backpack; it's medical supplies." "No backpacks." "For my 3-year daughter." "No." "She just got out of the hospital." "No." "F

Sunday 17 July 13:52:28 UTC 2016

[link] [152 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vaping, which was bad for you, then not bad for you again, but then bad for you yet again is once more not bad for you [Spiffy]

Sunday 17 July 13:46:24 UTC 2016

[link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Can you guess which state has the honor of hosting the first Pokemon-related shooting? [Florida]

Sunday 17 July 13:24:30 UTC 2016

[link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well, whaddya know…you can fix stupid [Followup]

Sunday 17 July 13:17:26 UTC 2016

[link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: Surprising archaeological discoveries [Photoshop]

Sunday 17 July 13:00:01 UTC 2016

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Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Game obsession [CSB]

Sunday 17 July 13:00:00 UTC 2016

[link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'I have slept with 5000 men' says Nairobi, Kenya's oldest prostitute. She also happens to never miss church [Satire]

Sunday 17 July 12:37:53 UTC 2016

[link] [37 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Adelaide, the hen who laid banana-shaped eggs

Sunday 17 July 12:37:43 UTC 2016

Adelaide the Hen (aka Adelaide Benteggs) lived on the farm of Wilfred Waterman in Poole, England. She first came to the attention of the press in 1957, when she began laying banana-shaped eggs. Farmer Waterman put her in solitary confinement, worried that whatever was causing her to lay such eggs "might be catching."

Experts from the British Ministry of Agriculture … [Link]

Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: Battle of Bazentin Ridge

Sunday 17 July 12:30:00 UTC 2016

Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 243rd installment in the series. [Link]

Weird Universe » Chiquita Banana Olympics Stickers: 1980

Sunday 17 July 12:20:03 UTC 2016

The Brazilian Olympics are in big trouble, as recent news articles tell us. Surely they could use a boost from an athletic banana, like the ad campaign from Chiquita that the 1980 Winter Olympics got. And a tropical fruit is even more synonymous with Brazil than it was with Lake Placid.

Time to bring back Carmen Miranda! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who the hell pays for porn? And then charges his clients for it? [Dumbass]

Sunday 17 July 12:05:54 UTC 2016

[link] [16 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Lucky Day says FML

Sunday 17 July 12:03:30 UTC 2016

Today, after a long night of hunting some Pokémon, I get back to my car only to find my window shattered and all my valubles missing. I get a call from my boyfriend a few hours later only to listen to him gettin it on with another chick. No wallet, no boyfriend. At least I leveled up my Pokémon. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dear Troubleshooter: My father is in his late 50s and has zero friends at work, coming straight home without socializing. His hobbies are watching go on TV and housework. I might sound overly concerned, but I do want to leave home when I get a job [S

Sunday 17 July 11:53:51 UTC 2016

[link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tattoo artist has goal of tattooing all 151 Pokemon on 151 different people, but is having trouble finding someone who wants the two-mushroom crab one or the poison sludge one [Silly]

Sunday 17 July 11:37:29 UTC 2016

[link] [27 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » LacrosseFAIL says FML

Sunday 17 July 11:33:46 UTC 2016

Today, after a long day at work, I walked into my room with the lights off and jumped on my bed. At least I would've if I haven't rearranged my room and instead face-planted onto my desk. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drunken Kobe city official arrested after sneaking into prison. "I had intended to go home. I didn't notice it was a prison" [Weird]

Sunday 17 July 10:37:51 UTC 2016

[link] [13 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Build Your Own Customized Wooden Bike

Sunday 17 July 10:30:00 UTC 2016

The project reportedly takes experienced woodworkers around 50 hours to complete. [Link]

Mental Floss » Disneyland Opened Today in 1955

Sunday 17 July 8:40:34 UTC 2016

Ronald Reagan cohosted the TV launch special. [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 17 July 7:56:18 UTC 2016

Today, I finally finished a gruelling shift at the hospital. I hadn't slept in over 30 hours, so I was happy to get out. I was quickly rushed back in after I collapsed in the parking lot and cracked my head open. FML [Link]

GraphJam » 10 Common Misconceptions

Sunday 17 July 7:47:28 UTC 2016

Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: common , misconceptions , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » This Amphibious Camper Transforms Into a Tiny Boat

Sunday 17 July 7:00:00 UTC 2016

The Sealander is an amphibious vehicle that transforms from a camper into a boat. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Most people foresee America becoming a cashless society after President Trump's done with it [Obvious]

Sunday 17 July 6:47:29 UTC 2016

[link] [125 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Quick Fix

Sunday 17 July 6:47:20 UTC 2016

Coil the word REMEDIABLENESSES into a spiral and, surprisingly, you get a word square. All eight words, four across and four down, appear in the Oxford English Dictionary. (“Colloquy,” Word Ways 16:1 [February 1983], 26. Discovered by Jeff Grant.) [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 17 July 6:23:23 UTC 2016

Today, at the store, I didn't hear the cashier when she asked if I had a loyalty card. She took one look at my naturally bitchy-looking face and muttered "It's my JOB to ask, jeez." FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good news: ESPN already knows who's going to the NFL playoffs this year [Misc]

Sunday 17 July 5:22:18 UTC 2016

[link] [42 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Lush Embroidery Hoops Take Inspiration From Moss

Sunday 17 July 5:00:00 UTC 2016

Bring nature inside with you! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Coming to you from Juneau, Alaska, it's once again time for Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker (9 pm AKDT/10 pm PDT). Just a headsup that the show will start a few minutes late this evening [Live]

Sunday 17 July 4:57:45 UTC 2016

[link] [183 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The 1999 Pokémon Illegal Gambling Lawsuit

Sunday 17 July 3:00:00 UTC 2016

'Pokémon Go' isn’t Pikachu’s first brush with fame—or infamy. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Despite numerous resident complaints, Vancouver says they cannot remove graffiti-strewn derelict Geo Metro from the street because it's properly insured, thus towing it would be illegal and also impolite [Obvious]

Sunday 17 July 2:27:59 UTC 2016

[link] [91 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Darth Vader Is Getting His Own Movie—in Virtual Reality

Sunday 17 July 2:00:00 UTC 2016

It has been a big weekend for the Sith Lord everyone loves to hate. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Philadelphia program turns "throw away" dogs into police K-9 superstars [Sappy]

Sunday 17 July 1:00:58 UTC 2016

[link] [39 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Apollo 11 Blasted Off 47 Years Ago Today

Sunday 17 July 1:00:00 UTC 2016

"[The astronauts] had a big breakfast of scrambled eggs, steak, toast, coffee, and orange juice." -Frank Reynolds [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman sees evil face on her slice of key lime pie: "I went next door to a church I'd never visited. These people didn't know who I was – they told me to leave. They told me it was demonic and that I needed to leave and have my house anoin

Sunday 17 July 0:17:53 UTC 2016

[link] [177 comments] [Link]

John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons