John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Bert Fire grows to nearly 1,800 acres. Ernie inconsolable [Scary]

Sunday 5 June 23:45:54 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ric Romero reports: "Those who earn more, often spend more" [Obvious]

Sunday 5 June 23:42:56 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [27 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Scammed says FML

Sunday 5 June 23:39:38 UTC 2016

Today, a week after spending most of my paycheck on a down-payment and rent on a new apartment, I found out the "landlord" I paid was a scammer. Turns out the real owner was away on vacation, and he'd stolen most of her stuff before showing me the place. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 5 June 23:39:37 UTC 2016

Today, I finally admitted to my mom that I have depression and suicidal thoughts. Her response? That I'm just "choosing" to be sad. And that I should just be happy instead. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Astronomer wraps his whole body in tinfoil to shield himself from the "second" sun, then rises with the first sun and goes full KOOK by exposing NASA's coverup… or something [Weird]

Sunday 5 June 23:11:56 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cue the dueling banjos [Dumbass]

Sunday 5 June 23:09:56 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » News of the Weird (June 5, 2016)

Sunday 5 June 22:51:45 UTC 2016

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M478, June 5, 2016
Copyright 2016 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

By 2009, when Zimbabwe’s central bank gave up on controlling inflation, its largest currency was the 100-trillion-dollar bill–barely enough for bus fare in Harare and not even worth the paper needed to print it. However, that 100-trillion-dollar note (that’s “1" plus 14 … [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 ‘Game of Thrones’ Locations You Can Visit in Real Life

Sunday 5 June 22:30:00 UTC 2016

Dragon rides not included. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An open letter to my husband's ex-wife [Amusing]

Sunday 5 June 22:22:55 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [157 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Philippine president-elect urges citizens to kill drug dealers, promises a medal to anyone who does [Scary]

Sunday 5 June 21:55:04 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman waiting for the UK's first double hand transplant says she's okay with man hands [Amusing]

Sunday 5 June 21:34:04 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Nivea Built a Waterslide That Applies Sunscreen as You Ride It

Sunday 5 June 20:30:00 UTC 2016

Applying sunscreen has never been more fun. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meanwhile in Austria [Scary]

Sunday 5 June 20:11:04 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » San Diego man tired of neighbors not cleaning up after their dogs in his lawn tries 'experimental' deterrent of delicious chocolate chips [Strange]

Sunday 5 June 20:11:04 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [167 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this slight of hand [Photoshop]

Sunday 5 June 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ISIS is so paranoid about spies that it's killing more and more of its own members [Fail]

Sunday 5 June 18:59:04 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Berserk" cow attacks firefighters after they pulled it from well. Baffled emergency crews say the cow had no violent history and rescue workers had never seen herbivore [Amusing]

Sunday 5 June 18:49:38 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pub manager wins $5.8 million in the lottery. What does he do afterwards? He goes back to work [Sappy]

Sunday 5 June 18:16:38 UTC 2016

Sappy [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After waking up from their unicorn induced dream, the Swiss all of sudden don't think it's a good idea to give every citizen €27,000 a year for sh*ts and giggles [Interesting]

Sunday 5 June 17:45:38 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [186 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who stole giant tire from fitness club filmed by surveillance camera, described as between 25-30, about 5' 11'' at 180 pounds, wearing red T-shirt, black shorts, prosthetic left leg [Florida]

Sunday 5 June 17:41:38 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [33 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » meish says FML

Sunday 5 June 17:05:43 UTC 2016

Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Carnage23 says FML

Sunday 5 June 17:05:42 UTC 2016

Today, I was on a long roadtrip with my son. My son said he has to pee to which I answered he had to wait till I can stop the car. He started counting backwards from 10. I couldn't stop in time. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Dmessmer1 says FML

Sunday 5 June 17:05:41 UTC 2016

Today, I gave my dad $40 and asked him if he can get me lunch on his way back home. Long story short he came back empty handed telling me it was my fault for trusting him with McNuggets. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » People in the Sunshine State are upset none of their cities were on the list of America's angriest cities [Florida]

Sunday 5 June 17:04:00 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Video: You Can't Escape Shakespeare

Sunday 5 June 16:30:00 UTC 2016

"You have not experienced Shakespeare until you have read him in the original Klingon." [Link]

Mental Floss » The Best Amazon Deals We Could Find This Week

Sunday 5 June 15:30:00 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, we share some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. These items were the ones that were the most popular with our readers this week, and they’re still available. [Link]

FMyLife » PumaGator says FML

Sunday 5 June 15:17:00 UTC 2016

Today, I was added to a random group chat. They were planning to film a porno and each member sent a nude. They were all grannies. FML [Link]

FMyLife » lyinginbed says FML

Sunday 5 June 15:16:59 UTC 2016

Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Joey says FML

Sunday 5 June 15:16:58 UTC 2016

Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys for some of her grandmothers items. I waited outside in the parking lot for an hour, with no idea which door was his. She came out no longer a virgin. FML [Link]

FMyLife » BG1059 says FML

Sunday 5 June 14:49:51 UTC 2016

Today, my best friend since first grade, who I've been in love with for years and finally hooked up with last week, asked me for advice. He wanted to know if he should start a long distance relationship with a girl he hooked up with last night. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police searching for thief who stole approximately 2,500 dollars worth of steak, hamburger, and bacon. Your dog is looking for a black market fence [Interesting]

Sunday 5 June 14:46:01 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 17 Times Movies Caused a Spike in Music Sales

Sunday 5 June 14:30:00 UTC 2016

It pays to be part of a great soundtrack. [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Robert Regrets Taking Home Economics Instead of Shop

Sunday 5 June 14:07:22 UTC 2016

Clumsy guy: Hey, man, I need one of those banger things and some pointy shits.
Employee: Please tell me you don’t mean a hammer and nails…
Clumsy guy: That’s what it’s called… Hammer… Yes. Home Depot
Brook Park, Ohio Overheard by: Telka [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Burger King now has a Whopperrito because it's always innovation time at the BK Lounge [Amusing]

Sunday 5 June 13:47:01 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Raise Chickens or Move!

Sunday 5 June 13:18:00 UTC 2016

Back in 1906, everyone in Montezuma, Iowa raised chickens. And anyone who didn't was politely encouraged to get out of town.

"A few have tried to live in Montezuma without engaging in the poultry industry either for pleasure or profit, but they have always found their dislike for chickens growing into a sort of barrier against friendly intercourse with their … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Cousin Itt's other cousin [Photoshop]

Sunday 5 June 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Things got a bit out of hand [CSB]

Sunday 5 June 13:00:00 UTC 2016

CSB [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An elephant never forgets… where to get the best medical help [Cool]

Sunday 5 June 12:54:18 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Chemistry of Killer Algae

Sunday 5 June 12:30:00 UTC 2016

In small quantities, cyanobacteria is just another organism. In bloom, it can be deadly. [Link]

Weird Universe » Senior Moment?

Sunday 5 June 12:14:41 UTC 2016

Original article here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Have you ever walked into a sliding glass door that you thought was open? Well this is exactly like that EXACTLY [Amusing]

Sunday 5 June 11:41:17 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's Mother of the year candidate is brought to you by West Virginia where a woman tried to sell her neglected 3-month-old baby to a neighbor for $500-$1000 [Fail]

Sunday 5 June 11:18:54 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 6-Year-Old Spelling Bee Contestant Explains How to Spell Tricky Words

Sunday 5 June 10:30:00 UTC 2016

He even nails "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilic~ [Link]

Mental Floss » Can You Solve the Locker Riddle?

Sunday 5 June 8:30:00 UTC 2016

Your eccentric, wealthy uncle has left you a heck of a math problem. [Link]

GraphJam » Replotted: The Dead Cat Would Have More Expression

Sunday 5 June 7:43:03 UTC 2016

alive,dead,kristen stewart,schrodingers-cat,venn diagram Graph by: Stubui Tagged: alive , dead , kristen stewart , schrodingers-cat , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

Futility Closet » A Guest Appearance

Sunday 5 June 6:46:44 UTC 2016

The Fibonacci numbers are the ones in this sequence: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, … Each number is the sum of the two that precede it. But now, interestingly: \displaystyle \mathrm{arctan} \left ( \frac{1}{1} \right ) = \mathrm{arctan} \left ( \frac{1}{2} \right ) + \mathrm{arctan} \left ( \frac{1}{3} \right )\\ \mathrm{arctan} \left ( \frac{1}{3} \right ) = \mathrm{arctan} \left ( \frac{1}{5} \right ) + \mathrm{arctan} \left ( \frac{1}{8} \right )\\ \mathrm{arctan} \left ( \frac{1}{8} \right ) = \mathrm{arctan} \left ( \frac{1}{13} \right ) + \mathrm{arctan} \left ( \frac{1}{21} \right )\\ \mathrm{arctan} \left ( \frac{1}{21} \right ) = \mathrm{arctan} \left ( \frac{1}{34} \right ) + \mathrm{arctan} \left ( \frac{1}{55} \right )\\ “And so on!” writes James Tanton in Mathematics Galore! (2012). “The first relation, for instance, states that a line of slope 1/2 stacked with … [Link]

FMyLife » hb1 says FML

Sunday 5 June 6:43:19 UTC 2016

Today, I caught my "best friend" on my laptop, copying my girlfriend's nudes onto his flash drive. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Web App Reveals How Misleading Maps Really Are

Sunday 5 June 6:30:00 UTC 2016

The Size Of lets you compare the relative sizes of different nations. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Are you chronically late? Then there's a good chance you're insane… INSANE. MU-HA-HA-HA … Oh, wait, this is the Daily Mail. Never mind [Silly]

Sunday 5 June 6:27:57 UTC 2016

Silly [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » He had just finished watching 'Field of Dreams' and thought, 'Maybe if I make a Craigslist ad about a sex party at Tina's.' Nothing bad could possibly happen … Oops, guess those New Orleans cops are serious [Dumbass]

Sunday 5 June 5:33:57 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do you use a wire brush to clean your grill? You're gonna die. In fact, YOU COULD BE DEAD ALREADY [Scary]

Sunday 5 June 5:13:57 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Coming to you from Alaska's capital city, it's another round of Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker, starting at 9PM AKDT/10PM PT [Live]

Sunday 5 June 4:57:19 UTC 2016

Live [link] [130 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Muhammad Ali's best quotes will live on forever. Thank god Nike/Adidas/Coke/Papa John's could never put a muzzle on this legend [Hero]

Sunday 5 June 4:47:56 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turns out, there is a scientific reason we never forget high school [Awkward]

Sunday 5 June 4:38:57 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Honey, I need to sleep with other people to save our marriage. A sex therapist on the internet said so" [Giggity]

Sunday 5 June 4:31:57 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Busy Facts About Richard Scarry

Sunday 5 June 4:30:00 UTC 2016

A few things you might not have known about the man behind Busytown. [Link]

Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: Russians Launch Brusilov Offensive, Arab Revolt Begins

Sunday 5 June 3:30:00 UTC 2016

Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 238th installment in the series. June 4-5, 1916: Russians Launch Brusilov Offensive, Arab Revolt Begins Following the Russian defeat at Lake Naroch in March 1916, the military chiefs of the Central Powers complacently assumed that Russia had finally exhausted its offensive power. … [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 5 June 3:22:13 UTC 2016

Today, I tried having some girl time with my mom so I could sneakily figure out what to get her for her birthday. All I could think of in the end was a time machine, after her rant about wishing she'd gotten her tubes tied rather than going through the stress of raising me and my sister. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lowering the flag at your workplace on Memorial Day? That's a firing [Stupid]

Sunday 5 June 2:30:54 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Pool Party and Prosper With This 'Star Trek' Swimsuit

Sunday 5 June 2:30:00 UTC 2016

Perfect for an afternoon in the Holodeck’s sauna program. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Richard Simmons hospitalized for strange behavior. How could anyone tell? [Followup]

Sunday 5 June 2:14:44 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What Happened to 'Nuclear Winter?'

Sunday 5 June 0:30:00 UTC 2016

"An organism at war with itself is doomed. We are one planet." -Carl Sagan [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trying to take an egg out of a bird's nest? Mother pigeon shows a man why it's a birdbrained idea [Dumbass]

Sunday 5 June 0:15:10 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drive-ins. In Maine they're considered "fine dining establishments," so stop smoking in your car. People are trying to eat here [Asinine]

Sunday 5 June 0:11:09 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this man and his umbrella [Photoshop]

Sunday 5 June 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [30 comments] [Link]

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