John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » So what really happens to the plane when you don't put your phone in airplane mode? Uh…nothing. Maybe a few beeps, but otherwise, nothing [Obvious]

Sunday 10 April 23:20:57 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » UK surveillance agency on reports that they prevented the leak of one of the Harry Potter books: "We don't comment on our defence against the dark arts" [Amusing]

Sunday 10 April 22:15:39 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [21 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 10 April 22:11:05 UTC 2016

Today, I had to slowly explain to my slightly ditzy roommate that no, I will not grow testicles due to taking testosterone supplements. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 18 Winning Facts About 'Bend It Like Beckham'

Sunday 10 April 22:09:32 UTC 2016

Not a lot of American moviegoers knew who David Beckham was. Even less had heard of Keira Knightley. The movie became a hit anyway. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teacher forced to quit after parents find video of her twerking in a bikini. Yeah, let's punish her for having a good time on vacation [Asinine]

Sunday 10 April 22:01:39 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [214 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch This 18-Rotor 'Volocopter' Take Its First Manned Flight

Sunday 10 April 21:30:00 UTC 2016

Why fly a copter with two or four rotors when you can have 18? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Proud Marine parents display Marines stickers, logos, their son's photo on their vehicle. Of course, someone has a problem with that [Florida]

Sunday 10 April 21:20:07 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [248 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » IntrepidPig says FML

Sunday 10 April 21:09:16 UTC 2016

Today, I waited 7 hours for my mom to come home and give me my computer back. 15 minutes after she got home, I remembered that I had hidden my computer myself so she wouldn't take it. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Panama Papers' latest victim: You having to work for a living [Unlikely]

Sunday 10 April 20:20:54 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Look, MotY candidates. If you've just abandoned your 5-year-old son at a Walmart to be found and raised by someone else, then spent the last hour having sex in a nearby apartment, don't come back to the store after to see if he's still th

Sunday 10 April 20:05:55 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: Fake "life hacks" (LGT example) [Photoshop]

Sunday 10 April 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Anne Boleyn's head turns up on eBay, just like everything if you wait long enough [Weird]

Sunday 10 April 19:50:50 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman run over while sunbathing. That is what you get for sunbathing in a parking lot … [reads article] …oh Fark [Scary]

Sunday 10 April 19:38:44 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Birthplaces of 10 Great American Foods

Sunday 10 April 19:30:00 UTC 2016

You know cheesesteaks are from Philly, but what about onion rings, Cobb salad, and root beer floats? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protip: Do not tell women to smile. Unless you just like pissing off women [PSA]

Sunday 10 April 17:37:03 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [573 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Greatest Machine That Never Was

Sunday 10 April 17:30:00 UTC 2016

Designed in the early 1800s…still working on building it. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Best Amazon Deals We Could Find This Week

Sunday 10 April 17:30:00 UTC 2016

As a new recurring feature, we’re going to share some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. These items were the ones that were the most popular with our readers this week, and they’re still available. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Yorker cartoonist dies in car crash. No word what the indecipherable caption will read under his obituary photo [Sad]

Sunday 10 April 17:02:42 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Whether the elaborate hoax to regain the girl worked out is unknown" [Dumbass]

Sunday 10 April 16:41:27 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently everyone was too busy reading yesterday to have a Saturday Book Discussion. So, here's your belated thread … and this week, we're in search of the greatest comedy novels of all time [Interesting]

Sunday 10 April 15:57:55 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [274 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nothing to see, move along, move along [Amusing]

Sunday 10 April 15:51:07 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 4th Amendment? We don't need no stinking 4th Amendment [Interesting]

Sunday 10 April 15:41:02 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [146 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 'Sesame Street' Introduces First Afghan Muppet: Zari

Sunday 10 April 15:25:32 UTC 2016

She's six years old, purple, and awesome. [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Surprising Facts About ‘Outlander’

Sunday 10 April 15:00:00 UTC 2016

Starz’s hit historical-time-travel-romantic-dra~ is back for a second season. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: Lifetime RealtimeBoard Premium. Intermediate subscription level not offered on their website – more features than free and less than $50/month. Which Myers-Briggs likes this style of collaboration? INTP? ESFJ? (Sponsored Link)

Sunday 10 April 14:47:09 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [19 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » dudster25 says FML

Sunday 10 April 14:20:31 UTC 2016

Today, I was both sexting with my girlfriend and texting my professor about an upcoming essay. I accidentally sent a dickpic to my professor. FML [Link]

Weird Universe » The Science of Craps

Sunday 10 April 14:07:36 UTC 2016

If this is true, I assume the effect isn't significant enough to overcome the house advantage.

St. Louis Post-Dispatch – Sep 7, 1937 [Link]

FMyLife » Squeepy says FML

Sunday 10 April 13:45:47 UTC 2016

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to clean our apartment, and then we went out to grab a bite to eat. When we returned, I found a baby's sock in the middle of the floor. Neither of us have a baby, and nobody we know does either. Now I'm just waiting for the doll-themed nightmares tonight. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Melbourne man wakes up in a casino airshaft with 'no idea' how he got there, has to be rescued by emergency services [Interesting]

Sunday 10 April 13:41:08 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Picard maneuver [Photoshop]

Sunday 10 April 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Do Wasps Sting in Revenge?

Sunday 10 April 13:00:00 UTC 2016

They’re likely motivated more by self-defense than vengeance. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: First adult decision [CSB]

Sunday 10 April 13:00:00 UTC 2016

CSB [link] [164 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Know Your Missiles!

Sunday 10 April 12:36:29 UTC 2016

[Click to enlarge]

Original ad here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Texas teacher resigns after arrest prompted by video of her repeatedly smacking student on the head and calling him "idiot ass" in class. Now she's free to run for Texas Board of Education slot [Fail]

Sunday 10 April 12:27:45 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You won't be taken seriously as a tiki bartender unless you have a fistful of cocktail umbrellas, a grass skirt, and a bottle of falernum [Obvious]

Sunday 10 April 12:09:40 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sudden influx of U.S. tourists causing Cuba to run low on beer. Thanks Obama [Murica]

Sunday 10 April 11:22:47 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Gibraltar Will End Its Annual Balloon Release Due to Environmental Concerns

Sunday 10 April 11:00:00 UTC 2016

The National Day tradition harms marine animals, which swallow or get tangled up in the latex. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you want to buy a treehouse owned by a shaman known as Genesis, all you need to give him is a satchel of lucky crickets, ten silver coins, a spirit bag of lavender, and a $500 donation to the local homeless shelter. Just kidding. It costs $8 mil [

Sunday 10 April 10:57:47 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [77 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 10 April 10:38:42 UTC 2016

Today, more companies have wished me a happy birthday compared to real life people. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 10 April 10:38:41 UTC 2016

Today, the nerves for my finals got so bad that I started stress-cleaning in my dream. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 10 April 10:38:40 UTC 2016

Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Prank callers convince Burger King to smash out their windows in the funniest prank call since they were asked if there are any walls there [Amusing]

Sunday 10 April 10:28:45 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [135 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lab results show that the bodies found in a mass grave in Mexico weren't those of the 43 missing students. So, the students are still missing and they have no idea who's in the mass grave. Great police work, Lou [Followup]

Sunday 10 April 9:34:45 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Can You Solve the Bridge Riddle?

Sunday 10 April 9:00:00 UTC 2016

Use the power of logic to escape zombies! [Link]

FMyLife » xSusanGeex says FML

Sunday 10 April 8:59:02 UTC 2016

Today, I spent 2 hours slaving over a hot stove to make my kids the perfect dinner. They both came home with Happy Meals in their hands. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 'Sesame Street' Introduces First Aghan Muppet: Zari

Sunday 10 April 8:32:37 UTC 2016

She's six years old, purple, and awesome. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oldest inmate on Texas' death row deprives Texans of a good execution [Ironic]

Sunday 10 April 7:31:33 UTC 2016

Ironic [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » They take their wine seriously in Spain. Like, guerilla war serious [Scary]

Sunday 10 April 7:31:20 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You say rubbish, I say rubbish-free lifestyle [Interesting]

Sunday 10 April 7:04:55 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch the First and Final Frames of Popular TV Shows

Sunday 10 April 7:00:00 UTC 2016

Compare the opening and closing moments of shows like "Twin Peaks," "The Wire," and "Breaking Bad." [Link]

Futility Closet » Poem Codes

Sunday 10 April 6:52:37 UTC 2016

During World War II the British Special Operations Executive used poetry to communicate with its agents in enemy territory. The sender and receiver would agree in advance on a poem, and by numbering its letters they produced a simple cipher that could be used to transmit messages. Because both sides could memorize the poem, there was no codebook to lose, … [Link]

Mental Floss » Blindfolded Gamer Completes 'Super Mario Bros.'

Sunday 10 April 6:03:52 UTC 2016

This really happened. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Invisible shiat sandwich [Obvious]

Sunday 10 April 5:52:09 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Egypt, Saudi Arabia building a bridge over Red Sea; that whirring sound you hear is Moses [Spiffy]

Sunday 10 April 4:57:36 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you think El Nino has ended California's drought, here are 13 trillion reasons why you're wrong [Interesting]

Sunday 10 April 4:39:36 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Brighten Rainy Days With a Color-Changing Umbrella

Sunday 10 April 4:30:00 UTC 2016

The umbrella features white rain drops printing in a special color-changing ink. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just a reminder that Livingston Stapler Company Presents will be preempted by the annual Alaska Folk Festival tonight. LGT festival site where live audio/video streaming is available [Spiffy]

Sunday 10 April 2:55:34 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vishu celebrations unleash Shiva [Sad]

Sunday 10 April 2:54:55 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kittens rescued after being found in the trash. Heartless owner to be charged with littering [Florida]

Sunday 10 April 2:52:08 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boy gets the surprise of his life after no one showed up to his birthday party [Sappy]

Sunday 10 April 2:42:58 UTC 2016

Sappy [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 25 Things You Should Know About Berlin

Sunday 10 April 2:30:00 UTC 2016

2. There's a reason it's nicknamed "The Venice of the North"—it has more than twice the number of bridges the Italian city does. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this hipster who's clearly out of line [Photoshop]

Sunday 10 April 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

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