John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Former Auschwitz guard died how he lived: A Coward [Sick]

Thursday 7 April 23:56:54 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » USS Gerald Ford set to join the fleet in September, when it will be promptly eaten by the USS Seawolf, the Connecticut, and the Jimmy Carter because it is delicious [Interesting]

Thursday 7 April 23:50:52 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Best and Worst States for Gender Equality

Thursday 7 April 23:45:00 UTC 2016

The study from the McKinsey Global Institute emphasized that fair treatment of women would help, not hinder, the nation’s economy. [Link]

Mental Floss » This Pixar Marketing Video from 1990 Looks a Lot Like an Infomercial

Thursday 7 April 23:30:00 UTC 2016

Five years before ‘Toy Story,’ Pixar was just a small animation company trying to sell Hollywood on its potential. [Link]

Mental Floss » Where to Find the World's Most Iconic Pieces of Art

Thursday 7 April 23:00:00 UTC 2016

Use this infographic as a road map for your next cultural vacation. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New York's top court rules that parents can eavesdrop on their own children's phone calls. Difficulty: Finding a child who actually uses their phone for anything besides texting, social media and sending photos [Followup]

Thursday 7 April 22:49:56 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A video of Iggy Pop using his cock for facial grooming is much more adorable than it sounds [Sappy]

Thursday 7 April 22:42:42 UTC 2016

Sappy [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida man sets up the perfect murder by claiming self defense in his front yard. Well, perfect except for his own surveillance cameras recording the whole incident [Florida]

Thursday 7 April 22:40:13 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Sarah A. Edwards, 22, faces charges of molesting a coin operated machine and grand theft" [Florida]

Thursday 7 April 22:34:54 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Indiana Republicans reach around to embrace their gay community [Hero]

Thursday 7 April 22:30:44 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 For Sure Facts About ‘Valley Girl’

Thursday 7 April 22:30:00 UTC 2016

Nicolas Cage’s first big movie was, like, totally bitchin’. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Three decades of being a peeping tom. Only times he came close to being busted were (1) when he yelled "SOB" at a guy eating KFC who wiped his mouth on the bedspread and (2) when Gay Talese let his tie droop through a vent as they peeped toge

Thursday 7 April 22:23:53 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another quality car chase in LA today, going through the rain in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the freeways, and with a TMZ tour bus trying to stop two "criminal masterminds" in a convertible (still ongoing at this time) [Live]

Thursday 7 April 22:11:50 UTC 2016

Live [link] [52 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Communists Seek Copyright For Red Star

Thursday 7 April 22:01:00 UTC 2016

The Russian Communist Party has announced they will appeal to Prime Minister Medvedev for a copyright to be placed on their red star symbol in order to protect it from widespread use in branding and advertising. What do you think?
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Got a frog in your throat? Nope, octopus [Weird]

Thursday 7 April 22:00:01 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch This Delivery Balloon Suck Up Objects and Spit Them Out

Thursday 7 April 22:00:00 UTC 2016

Inflatable blimps may be the future of drone delivery. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Virginia legislators pass law prohibiting police from ticketing vehicles with expired inspection stickers or tags while they're waiting in line to renew them. Because, apparently, they were allowed to do that before and did, a lot [Followup]

Thursday 7 April 21:50:13 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Paleontologists Try to Diagnose a Dinosaur Skin Disease

Thursday 7 April 21:44:21 UTC 2016

Little craters on dinosaur bones aren’t necessarily battle scars from a death match. [Link]

Mental Floss » Even the Scent of Alcohol Can Lower Your Inhibitions

Thursday 7 April 21:44:20 UTC 2016

Researchers say people who had sniffed alcohol-soaked pads scored lower on an impulse-control task. [Link]

Mental Floss » When Rand Met McNally

Thursday 7 April 21:30:00 UTC 2016

Yes, those are two separate people. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Maker of Japanese popsicles in flavors like, grapefruit, spaghetti, and corn stew airs a national ad apologizing for raising the prices of their product by about $0.10 when they SHOULD be apologizing for those flavors, seriously, corn stew? WTF? [Str

Thursday 7 April 21:15:21 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Ferocious Facts About Wolverines

Thursday 7 April 21:00:00 UTC 2016

These animals are elusive, and much about them remains mysterious—but here are a few things we do know. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: Garden time, Farkers. It's time to plant something other than your ass on a bar stool for another drink. Show us what you're growing this year and give tips on what makes a good home garden [Interesting]

Thursday 7 April 21:00:00 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » German professor arrested for travelling with an unlicensed human skull [Fail]

Thursday 7 April 20:41:43 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Questions you can expect to be asked during a routine traffic stop in Indiana: "Do you know how fast you were going?" "How many drinks have you had?" "Have you been saved by Jesus Christ?" [Asinine]

Thursday 7 April 20:38:14 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Things not to post on Facebook after you kill your girlfriend in a car wreck: "Shiat happens" [Dumbass]

Thursday 7 April 20:33:26 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How many people have you indirectly slept with? [Scary]

Thursday 7 April 20:33:08 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Wonderfully Nerdy Science Jokes

Thursday 7 April 20:30:00 UTC 2016

I only understand some of these nerdy science jokes. Should I be depressed or relieved about that? * How Disneyland invented Doritos, how supercomputers are used to produce Pringles, and nine other delicious facts about chip engineering. * In this fascinating TED Talk, underwater explorer Bob Ballard (a.k.a. the man that found the Titanic) discusses the unchartered worlds under the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The most 2010's thing ever just happened. Woman gets into a Twitter fight with another woman, take an Uber to her house to get into a real fight with her, livetweets that she got her ass kicked, and then took another Uber home [Amusing]

Thursday 7 April 20:25:44 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [44 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Rangers Disgusted By Prince Fielder Leaving Chewed-Up Bats All Over Dugout

Thursday 7 April 20:23:00 UTC 2016

ARLINGTON, TX—Complaining that he should have dropped the habit a long time ago, members of the Texas Rangers admitted to reporters Thursday that they are constantly disgusted by first baseman Prince Fielder’s tendency to leave chewed-up baseball bats all over the dugout. “Prince is always taking other guys’ bats and gnawing on them—it’s so gross,” said Rangers left fielder Ian … [Link]

The Onion » Billionaire Reading Name In Panama Papers Totally Forgot He Even Had Funds In Seychelles

Thursday 7 April 20:21:00 UTC 2016

NEW YORK—Taken completely by surprise upon reading his own name in a newspaper article about the Panama Papers, billionaire Frederick Weldon revealed to reporters Thursday that he had completely forgotten he even had funds stashed in the Seychelles. “Oh, yeah, right—jeez, forgot about that,” said Weldon, who after thinking about it for several moments, began to recall having his attorney … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How do you shoot yourself in the ass with a rifle? [Fail]

Thursday 7 April 20:20:48 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Best Amazon Deals We Could Find Today, April 7

Thursday 7 April 20:00:38 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, April 7. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this horse [Photoshop]

Thursday 7 April 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Whole Truth About Skim Milk

Thursday 7 April 20:00:00 UTC 2016

Whole milk is not only delicious, but probably better for you, too. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » College takes the position "Missionary" is a boring mascot. Up for grabs whether it's replaced by Doggy Style or On the Kitchen Table [Giggity]

Thursday 7 April 19:56:59 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Napoleon's Belongings From His Time in Exile Are Now on Display in Paris

Thursday 7 April 19:30:00 UTC 2016

History buffs can see the military general's famous "bicorne" hat and a slew of other items at France's national army museum. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » DC Police kill pit bull. I know his music is questionable, but that seems somewhat extreme [Sad]

Thursday 7 April 19:19:56 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [144 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Behind-the-Scenes Secrets of Romance Writers

Thursday 7 April 19:00:00 UTC 2016

Readers love nothing more than Amish courtships, headless models, and secret babies. [Link]

The Onion » Trump Catches Self Briefly Believing Own Campaign Rhetoric

Thursday 7 April 18:57:00 UTC 2016

BETHPAGE, NY—Admitting that he was overcome with terror after realizing what he had done, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump told reporters he caught himself briefly believing his own campaign rhetoric during a rally Wednesday night. “Oh, Jesus, for a few seconds there I actually found myself agreeing on a deep, personal level with the things I was saying—what the hell … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Washington state authorities are on the lookout for two violent escaped mental patients. They fear that if the escapees make it to Portland, they'll blend in and never be found [Repeat]

Thursday 7 April 18:51:58 UTC 2016

Repeat [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What do you call 20,000 lesbians in a desert oasis? [Amusing]

Thursday 7 April 18:47:02 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [242 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The coolest 'Viking Funeral" for a pet fish that you'll see today [Silly]

Thursday 7 April 18:39:23 UTC 2016

Silly [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For National Beer Day today, here are some booze deals and handy brew facts to get you through the day of hoisting many [Spiffy]

Thursday 7 April 18:39:09 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Condolence

Thursday 7 April 18:37:56 UTC 2016

A letter from Abraham Lincoln to Fanny McCullough of Bloomington, Ill., whose father had died leading a charge in Mississippi, Dec. 23, 1862: Dear Fanny: It is with deep regret that I learn of the death of your brave and kind father, and especially that it is affecting your young heart beyond what is common in such cases. In this … [Link]

Mental Floss » 30 Years Ago, Clint Eastwood Was Elected Mayor of Carmel, California

Thursday 7 April 18:30:00 UTC 2016

The actor donated his $200 monthly salary to youth groups. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Handy tip for travelers: In France, under a new law, it is no longer illegal to BE a prostitute, but it IS illegal for a customer to pay for one [Weird]

Thursday 7 April 18:15:43 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [137 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Libya's Tripoli-based government will "cease operation" and absolve itself of responsibility for the country's fate. Apparently they got the idea after watching elected officials in Flint, Michigan [Fail]

Thursday 7 April 18:02:36 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Text Like Shakespeare With a Predictive Text Keyboard App

Thursday 7 April 18:00:00 UTC 2016

ShakeSpeak will fill in the Bard's quotes for you, so you can sound super literary. [Link]

The Onion » The Pros And Cons Of Attending College

Thursday 7 April 17:56:00 UTC 2016

A four-year degree can open doors to a bright future, though many people don’t think it will benefit their career path. Here are some pros and cons of attending college: PROS
Able to engage with a diverse new group of people from all over southwestern Ohio
Identity worth more on black market when paired with B.A.
Basically no other way to join a …


[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sovereign citizen's hands violently secede from his body while he's attempting to mix an explosive commonly known as "the mother of Satan" because of its instability [Scary]

Thursday 7 April 17:37:46 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [174 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Kasich Privately Worried He’ll Never Have Charisma Necessary To Incite Supporters To Violent Frenzy

Thursday 7 April 17:37:00 UTC 2016

COLUMBUS, OH—Expressing concern at the noticeable lack of intensity at his campaign events, Republican presidential candidate John Kasich confided to reporters Thursday that he’s worried he’ll never possess the charisma necessary to incite his supporters into a crazed, violent frenzy. “I know I’m good at discussing policy and laying out my vision for America, but if I’m being honest, I’m … [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Submarines

Thursday 7 April 17:24:47 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » Japan Now Has a Hedgehog Café

Thursday 7 April 17:00:00 UTC 2016

Cat cafés suddenly look way less exciting. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's official: "Panama Papers: Putin rejects corruption allegations". Never believe in something until it's officially denied [Amusing]

Thursday 7 April 16:54:01 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 71 years after his downfall and death, the town of Tegernsee strips Hitler of his 'honorary citizen' status [Interesting]

Thursday 7 April 16:48:34 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One of those unexpected costs of online dating is a few thousand quid for your date when she texts you to say she's been kidnapped by a sex-crazed gangster and needs ransom money [Strange]

Thursday 7 April 16:44:00 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: E-learning: C, Java, SQL, Python, C++, Raspberry Pi… Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme. (Sponsored Link) [Plug]

Thursday 7 April 16:37:46 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [4 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » ThrewItOntheGrooooooound says FML

Thursday 7 April 16:35:28 UTC 2016

Today, a kind cyclist rode up next to me to inform me that my bag of groceries was about to fall off. Exceedingly careful, I slowly brought my bike to a halt. Only at the very second I stood still did I hear the dreaded "twang" as my carrier broke, and my stuff smashed to the ground. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Stiffed says FML

Thursday 7 April 16:35:27 UTC 2016

Today, my old boss stiffed me on a large sum of money he owes me. I tried to contact him and point out that he legally owes me the money, but he won't answer his texts or his phone, and the managers say he changes the subject whenever they bring it up. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Stingraybeemonster says FML

Thursday 7 April 16:35:26 UTC 2016

Today, I was snorkeling when a stingray suddenly appeared when I thought I was just looking at sand. It startled me, so my heel made contact with a sea urchin so that then startled me, and my other foot hit another one. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I stole the truck and no one noticed. Sweet Crap, now the battery's dead. Hey, there's a cop over there. He'll probably give me a jump start [Florida]

Thursday 7 April 16:28:59 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [19 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » kingoftwats says FML

Thursday 7 April 16:17:57 UTC 2016

Today, I found out my fiancé is cheating on me when we went to Harry Potter World in London and he gave her name whilst buying tickets instead of mine. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rick rolls again [Spiffy]

Thursday 7 April 16:11:58 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For those with an appreciation for fine art and a healthy dose of eye bleach: Donald Trump's nude portrait to be shown at a London art gallery for the first time by artist who received over a thousand death threats because of it [Interesting]

Thursday 7 April 16:11:42 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A New 'Rembrandt' Painted Entirely by Software

Thursday 7 April 16:00:00 UTC 2016

Developers used machine learning to analyze the Dutch painter’s work pixel by pixel, and recreate his style digitally. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 10 ugly ducklings rescued from airport storm drain [Sappy]

Thursday 7 April 15:53:35 UTC 2016

Sappy [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Archaeologists Find Tomb Artifacts Linking Nepal to Silk Road

Thursday 7 April 15:45:00 UTC 2016

The contents of an ancient tomb in Upper Mustang include beads and textiles only made in India and China. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Baltimore police fire 56 shots into vehicle, killing father and son in latest proof their aim is getting better [Followup]

Thursday 7 April 15:39:37 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [332 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How broke is the Bay Area Rapid Transit? So broke they have to purchase parts on eBay [Amusing]

Thursday 7 April 15:35:35 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Many Bothans died to bring you this Star Wars Rogue One trailer [Cool]

Thursday 7 April 15:31:04 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [255 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Barefoot burglar sneaks in through doggy door" is surprisingly not a euphemism [Scary]

Thursday 7 April 15:28:35 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [7 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "According to Companies House there are 354 companies in the UK with an ISIS moniker but many have now changed their name – the most understandable one being a company called ISIS Recruitment, which now no longer exists" [Obvious]

Thursday 7 April 15:18:53 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Champagne Gun

Thursday 7 April 15:18:17 UTC 2016

What does a bored billionaire do when he's temporarily run out of hundred-dollar bills to light his cigars with? Now he can turn his champagne bottles into spray guns and soak guests with premium bubbly!

If you need to ask how much this costs, then you're not part of the target market. (It's $495)

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » They're crazy and they're kooky / Mysterious and spooky / They're all together ooky / Two escaped mental patients [Scary]

Thursday 7 April 15:13:23 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [32 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Department Of Transportation Introduces Padded Bumper Lane For Intoxicated Drivers

Thursday 7 April 15:12:00 UTC 2016

WASHINGTON—In an effort to reduce motor vehicle injuries and fatalities stemming from drunk driving, officials at the Department of Transportation announced Wednesday the opening of new highway lanes lined with padded bumpers, which have been installed on interstates nationwide for use by intoxicated drivers. “It’s really quite simple—if you’re already behind the wheel and you feel like you’ve had too … [Link]

Mental Floss » Get to Know the Malayan Tapir (Before It’s Too Late)

Thursday 7 April 15:00:00 UTC 2016

Tapirus indicus is stocky, shy, and surprisingly well endowed. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man man donates 150th gallon of blood, swears it's not for a Trump campaign ritual [Hero]

Thursday 7 April 14:48:35 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Hot-Off-the-Press Facts About 'Newsies'

Thursday 7 April 14:30:00 UTC 2016

Christian Bale wasn't into musicals when he signed up to play the lead. Nothing has changed. [Link]

The Onion » Vanilla Shortage Could Raise Ice Cream Prices

Thursday 7 April 14:29:00 UTC 2016

Top vanilla producer Madagascar is experiencing a shortage of the plant due to rising global demand for natural flavorings, potentially leading to a spike in ice cream prices this summer. What do you think?
[Link]

FMyLife » fishtities says FML

Thursday 7 April 14:26:51 UTC 2016

Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » WikiLeaks criticizes lack of Panama Papers availability [Ironic]

Thursday 7 April 14:15:36 UTC 2016

Ironic [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Does Hair on Moles Grow More Quickly?

Thursday 7 April 14:00:00 UTC 2016

Science is a little stumped by this one. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FBI director says agency now has a tool to unlock all iPhones: "Imagine a world where a local police department can send us a device, with the understanding that we're never going to testify, we're never going to tell you how we opened it

Thursday 7 April 13:52:35 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [229 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This '70s TV Was Hacked to Play Videos Through Chromecast

Thursday 7 April 13:30:00 UTC 2016

A retro relic updated for the streaming era. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Most depressing website you'll see today shows you what other people accomplished by the time they were your age [Awkward]

Thursday 7 April 13:06:36 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this big head [Photoshop]

Thursday 7 April 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Footage of a Wild Caracal Shows Why Cats Always Land on Their Feet

Thursday 7 April 13:00:00 UTC 2016

Their legendary ability all has to do with a feline's flexible spine. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gym blasted for body-shaming advertisement claiming aliens will "take the fat ones first", even though of course they will [Asinine]

Thursday 7 April 12:48:44 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [168 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Shotacon says FML

Thursday 7 April 12:36:31 UTC 2016

Today, while using the leg press at the gym, some guy thought he could use more weight than me since I look really young. He hurt himself. He then blamed me and tried to get me kicked out. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » At first glance, this newly built home looks completely normal. But if you look a bit closer, there's one massive mistake. "They had one job" [Fail]

Thursday 7 April 12:34:37 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [123 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How 15 Iconic American Beers Got Their Names

Thursday 7 April 12:30:00 UTC 2016

Some are family names, and some just name themselves. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gallant buys the ladies beer. Goofus steals a 63 year old woman's beer, drinks it, takes his shirt off, challenges everyone to a fight then shakes granny violently before beating her [Dumbass]

Thursday 7 April 12:25:31 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch This Compilation of Classic Hollywood Bloopers

Thursday 7 April 12:00:00 UTC 2016

They were glamorous and poised on screen, but the outtakes prove even Old Hollywood got frustrated on set. [Link]

Weird Universe » Martian Radio Silence

Thursday 7 April 11:55:46 UTC 2016

Original article here. [Link]

Mental Floss » Mars Opportunity Rover Captures Image of Dust Devil Whirling Behind Its Back

Thursday 7 April 11:30:00 UTC 2016

The Opportunity Rover turned to see the vortex forming in the valley below. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Instagram shuts down account over explicit photo of a cake [Dumbass]

Thursday 7 April 11:18:23 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Because if there's one thing that presents the FBI's General Counsel with a significant problem, it's the possibility that a billion innocent people might get ideas [Dumbass]

Thursday 7 April 11:18:11 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Submarines

Thursday 7 April 11:15:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bullet found near site of Hejaz train ambush in Arabia "almost certainly" fired by TE Lawrence. With helpful picture of what Peter O'Toole might look like [Interesting]

Thursday 7 April 11:02:23 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Drink Wine Outside With This (Nearly) Spillproof Glass

Thursday 7 April 11:00:00 UTC 2016

Drink wine anywhere! [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Damaging Facts About the Fujita Scale

Thursday 7 April 10:30:00 UTC 2016

The U.S. is the most active tornado zone in the world. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Japanese horror movies almost write themselves [Scary]

Thursday 7 April 10:21:11 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "We learned it from watching YOU" [Sick]

Thursday 7 April 10:04:11 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Why It’s Called a Grandfather Clock

Thursday 7 April 9:30:00 UTC 2016

Check out these links from all over! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Performance of Sweeney Todd is a little too realistic [Scary]

Thursday 7 April 9:25:38 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oh yes we did (remind you that you should never order within 5 minutes of Domino's closing) [Amusing]

Thursday 7 April 9:10:11 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [153 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » howtobesingle says FML

Thursday 7 April 9:02:37 UTC 2016

Today, I listened to my best friend complain, again, about the two guys she's seeing, and how she doesn't know which one to choose, because they're both perfect. Meanwhile, I'm cleaning up my dog's loose stools, haven't had a date in over three years and I'm also sharing a room with the very same best friend. FML [Link]

GraphJam » Does This Mean I Can Learn at Home, And Sleep at School?

Thursday 7 April 9:00:42 UTC 2016

classroom infographic learning school Don't you wish your school went like this? Graph by: SuperNerd256 (via Knewton) Tagged: classroom , infographic , learning , school Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » The 3 Most Interesting Comics of the Week

Thursday 7 April 8:30:00 UTC 2016

Black Panther #1 and more. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know how to keep it classy if you show up at an anti-circumcision rally wearing white clothing with a fake red blood stain around the crotch [Strange]

Thursday 7 April 8:10:11 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch English Zookeepers Weigh a Group of Newborn Humboldt Penguins

Thursday 7 April 7:30:00 UTC 2016

The tiny birds barely tip the scales. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So long, and thanks for all the fish [Followup]

Thursday 7 April 7:03:24 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's criminal genius attempts to elude police after burglary by spraying himself with two dry chemical fire extinguishers. (w/ mugshot goodness) [Florida]

Thursday 7 April 6:49:32 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Barbershop Paradox

Thursday 7 April 6:34:19 UTC 2016

In 1894 Lewis Carroll published a conundrum that, he wrote, presents “a very real difficulty in the Theory of Hypotheticals.” Suppose that Allen, Brown, and Carr run a shop. At least one of them must always be present to mind the shop, and whenever Allen leaves he always takes Brown with him. Now, suppose that Carr is out. In that … [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Brewtastic Ways to Say 'Beer'

Thursday 7 April 6:30:00 UTC 2016

On March 22, 1933, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt signed the Cullen-Harrison Act, which essentially ended Prohibition by allowing the sale and consumption of low-alcohol beer and wine. The act went into effect on April 7, henceforth known as Beer Day. What better way to celebrate than by popping a cold one, pouring a pint, or rushing the growler? [Link]

FMyLife » my first job says FML

Thursday 7 April 6:02:17 UTC 2016

Today, after working for 12 hours in the cold rain on muddy terrain, my coordinator drove down a hill and didn't come back. I was stuck in the middle of nowhere, forced to walk two hours uphill back to HQ to find him there. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Samsung Now Holds a Patent For Smart Contact Lenses

Thursday 7 April 5:42:44 UTC 2016

The proposed design features built-in cameras and sensors in each lens. [Link]

Mental Floss » This Batmobile Infographic Traces the Evolution of the Dark Knight's Ride

Thursday 7 April 5:42:43 UTC 2016

Witness the 75-year evolution of Batman's car. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for a Florida DUI. That's like a regular DUI with a BAC over .08 but with a marijuana, cocaine, methamphetamine, and MDMA chaser [Florida]

Thursday 7 April 5:20:25 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [32 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Pretty_Pisces says FML

Thursday 7 April 5:16:03 UTC 2016

Today, I met my downstairs neighbor after she repeatedly banged on my floor as a way to quiet me down. I guess I'm not allowed to walk on my floor. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch These Experts Perform Impressive Tricks With Spinning Tops

Thursday 7 April 5:00:00 UTC 2016

File under "super impressive obscure talents." [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 7 April 4:18:13 UTC 2016

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rich douches of Instagram are making it easier to prosecute their rich parents for financial crimes [Amusing]

Thursday 7 April 4:05:37 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 570: "Same Stuff, Different Day" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 7 April 4:01:00 UTC 2016

Farktography [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 Tips to Make Cut Flowers Last Longer

Thursday 7 April 4:00:00 UTC 2016

Fresh flowers can instantly add cheer to your home or office—until they begin to droop. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Let's just say that if doctors need to surgically remove an 18-inch vegetable from your rectum, perhaps farming isn't for you [Scary]

Thursday 7 April 3:31:44 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » High school senior accepted by all eight Ivy League schools, plus Johns Hopkins University, MIT, New York University and Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. What, no Stanford? [Giggity]

Thursday 7 April 3:31:34 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Toilet training is never easy – especially when it ends in a visit from paramedics [Awkward]

Thursday 7 April 3:23:27 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australian university students try to engage in some extra-curricular chemistry experiments in New Orleans, instead receive a lesson in anthropology and modern American culture [Scary]

Thursday 7 April 3:09:57 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » U.S. Government (Finally) Makes It Illegal to Sell Tigers Without a Permit

Thursday 7 April 3:00:00 UTC 2016

A new ruling closes the loophole that permitted people to keep cross-bred or “generic” tigers as pets. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » School cop provides WWE body slam lesson to 12-year-old girl [Asinine]

Thursday 7 April 2:38:43 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » These Bikes Were Designed To Generate Electricity and Help Students Focus

Thursday 7 April 2:30:00 UTC 2016

Former teacher and personal trainer Adam Boesel wants to bridge the gap between learning and exercise. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tigers declared extinct in Cambodia [Sad]

Thursday 7 April 2:24:40 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ugly-ass polar bear cub born in German zoo. With ugly-ass pics [Sappy]

Thursday 7 April 2:21:55 UTC 2016

Sappy [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Here's How You Can Spring Clean Your Smartphone

Thursday 7 April 2:00:00 UTC 2016

Your home isn't the only part of your life that needs de-cluttering. [Link]

Mental Floss » An Underwater Art Exhibit Just Opened in the Florida Keys

Thursday 7 April 1:30:00 UTC 2016

You’ll have to travel 140 feet below the ocean’s surface to see “The Sinking World.” [Link]

Fark.com RSS » WVU fraternity finds out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real [Stupid]

Thursday 7 April 1:15:48 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Uber driver wakes up from a nap to find his fare has gotten them into a high-speed police chase. Lot of bad decision-making going on here [Scary]

Thursday 7 April 1:02:15 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Let me play for you the song of my poophole [Interesting]

Thursday 7 April 0:37:51 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [82 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 7 April 0:31:14 UTC 2016

Today, I'm on vacation and stupidly bought the cheapest sunblock I could find. Instead of protecting my skin, the sunblock acted as a damn lightning rod for the sun, and I now look like I just spent a few hours on a spit-roast. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 7 April 0:31:13 UTC 2016

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 7 April 0:31:12 UTC 2016

Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this lizard that's about to make a speech [Photoshop]

Thursday 7 April 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Facts about the Guggenheim Bilbao

Thursday 7 April 0:00:00 UTC 2016

Since its opening in 1997, it has inspired a plethora of critiques, articles, awards, artists, and visitors. Here are a dozen facts about one of the most popular art museums in Spain. [Link]

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