John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Dear Millennials: Your financial woes are not your parents' problem, society's problem and certainly not the government's problem. YOU are the reason you can't afford your lifestyle, and you are both the problem and the solution. Love

Sunday 3 April 23:25:54 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [747 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » fuck off, for real says FML

Sunday 3 April 22:44:03 UTC 2016

Today, my girlfriend dumped me by text for another man while I was at work. While I worked the drive-thru, a customer noticed me choking back my tears and said "I'd be cryin' too if I worked your dead-end job." FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Infamous Facts About 'Bonnie and Clyde'

Sunday 3 April 22:30:00 UTC 2016

More than 30 years after their violent demise, Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were making headlines again. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Orange County gives out reward money to those who helped out in finding those three prison escapees earlier this year — all except for the elderly Vietnamese cab driver who was taken hostage, convinced one to give up and escaped with information [As

Sunday 3 April 21:47:50 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [48 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 3 April 21:46:25 UTC 2016

Today, I found out the real reason my dad bought a new car and generously gave me his old one. He knew the engine was about to fail and didn't want it to be his problem when it finally did. It blew out while I was driving at high speed on the motorway. Just my luck. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Donut Ice "Kreme" Sandwiches Are Coming to Krispy Kreme Japan

Sunday 3 April 20:30:00 UTC 2016

Krispy Kreme has found a way to make their glazed donuts even better. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another reason to hate hipsters, they get all stupid when trying to fit a large sofa in a modestly sized car in order to get it back to their closet apartment. Absolutely no sense of space [Fail]

Sunday 3 April 20:25:50 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [160 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop y'all some horse surfing [Photoshop]

Sunday 3 April 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [31 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » fresh single says FML

Sunday 3 April 19:53:22 UTC 2016

Today, my girlfriend decided it was logical to accuse me of cheating because of the hundreds of emails I had from women wanting to meet up with me for sex. She had been looking in the "Spam" folder. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why taking cars off the road in large very polluted cites doesn't always work. Case in point: Mexico City [Interesting]

Sunday 3 April 19:39:58 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Heads up: With the latest AP style update, you no longer have to capitalize internet [Cool]

Sunday 3 April 19:04:11 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 14 Classic Facts About Cracker Jack

Sunday 3 April 18:30:00 UTC 2016

Take a look at the snack that’s become synonymous with America’s pastime. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Muslim family removed from plane for "safety reasons," as having more than one Muslim on a passenger airliner is inherently dangerous [Obvious]

Sunday 3 April 17:54:02 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [137 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Small-town Indiana pastor by day goes full Walter White at night with synthetic marijuana operation [Weird]

Sunday 3 April 17:14:02 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Shock Absorbers Work

Sunday 3 April 16:30:00 UTC 2016

Let's look under a truck to find out! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » People who constantly point out typos and grammatical errors online are pretty much jerks, scientists find. Such people are generally less open, and are more likely to judge you for your mistakes more negatively than anyone else [Obvious]

Sunday 3 April 16:27:33 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [241 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » cactusfears says FML

Sunday 3 April 15:59:54 UTC 2016

Today, my father stumbled upon the quickest way to get me out of bed in the morning: ripping out my nose stud. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sure, Farkers love cats. They even get their own day (and their own tag). But when was the last time you heard about a hero cat rescuing people? Yeah, thought so. So enjoy some heart-warming tales about the superior species [Hero]

Sunday 3 April 15:32:04 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Best Amazon Deals We Could Find This Week

Sunday 3 April 15:30:00 UTC 2016

As a new recurring feature, we’re going to share some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. These items were the ones that were the most popular with our readers this week, and they’re still available. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you left a backhoe on some train tracks near Philadelphia, some people would really like to speak with you [Scary]

Sunday 3 April 15:19:56 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another piece of the Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 plane has most likely been found, this time on Rodrigues Island in the Mauritius. For a missing plane this wreck sure gets around [Interesting]

Sunday 3 April 14:51:26 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Curious Facts About 'Alice in Wonderland'

Sunday 3 April 14:30:00 UTC 2016

Long before Mia Wasikowska stepped into Alice's Mary Janes, Walt Disney struggled to bring Lewis Carroll's story to life on the big screen. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: Pay What You Want: 'Start a Side Business' Bundle. How to become one of those eBay sellers you hate – and make a nifty profit doing it. (Sponsored Link) [Plug]

Sunday 3 April 14:29:38 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » What Have You Been Doing to Your Nose?

Sunday 3 April 13:34:39 UTC 2016

Sales guy: Does anyone else smell hot dogs and sauerkraut?
Sales chick: Ummm… There’s doughnuts in the conference room.
Sales guy: I bet that’s it! 8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this DJ on the ones and twos [Photoshop]

Sunday 3 April 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CSB: Sibling injuries [CSB]

Sunday 3 April 13:00:00 UTC 2016

CSB [link] [182 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Eight canned meat products taste-tested, both straight from the can and fried. Is SPAM the best of them all, or do competitors have a legitimate (canned) beef? [Weird]

Sunday 3 April 12:52:17 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [182 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Sexy Lingerie

Sunday 3 April 12:47:03 UTC 2016

Original ad here. [Link]

Mental Floss » Emotional Exhaustion: Is Empathy a Choice?

Sunday 3 April 12:30:00 UTC 2016

Life offers endless opportunities to test your empathy—the ability to feel for and with others—sometimes to its breaking point. [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 3 April 11:59:41 UTC 2016

Today, it's day 9 of my honeymoon. It's also day 8 of my period and day 7 of food poisoning. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 3 April 11:59:40 UTC 2016

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML [Link]

Weird Universe » Malone the Rat Fighter

Sunday 3 April 11:49:28 UTC 2016

Tough way to earn a living.

This 1908 news story may have inspired Roald Dahl's short story "The Ratcatcher" (first published in 1953 in Someone Like You). Even if Dahl hadn't seen this exact news piece, he must have heard stories (urban legends) about rat catchers doing this.

The Royal Gazette – Oct 6, 1908
A man named Malone, who was … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man plows into skateboarder with car, then stops to help the person he injured–only to get hit by another driver himself and the skateboarder trapped underneath a car [Scary]

Sunday 3 April 11:04:17 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What happens when you rank last in something and you make it even worse? Welcome to Louisiana's sales tax system [Facepalm]

Sunday 3 April 10:30:17 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch These Baby Barn Owls Learn How to Fly

Sunday 3 April 10:30:00 UTC 2016

Luna and Lily are two months old—and they're ready to use their wings. [Link]

Mental Floss » How to Cheat at Solving the Rubik's Cube

Sunday 3 April 8:30:00 UTC 2016

This doesn't involve removing the stickers. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Couple builds 4,000 square-foot "dream house" from 9 used shipping containers that cost $2,200 each; still manage to blow $500,000 on it before landscaping [Interesting]

Sunday 3 April 8:17:17 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [134 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » At Least It's Not on the Floor

Sunday 3 April 7:40:04 UTC 2016

Last drops at the urinal Graph by: TraNE577 Tagged: pants , pee joke , peeing on the floor , Pie Chart , urinal Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bad news: you test positive for prostate cancer. Good News: it's a false positive. Worse news: you find out after your prostate has been removed [Scary]

Sunday 3 April 7:40:02 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The missing Wright Brothers patent was found in a cave. Your move, Tony Stark [Cool]

Sunday 3 April 6:53:15 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch This Brief History of the Chinese Takeout Box

Sunday 3 April 6:30:00 UTC 2016

This video explains the surprisingly complex—and quintessentially American—story of the takeout staple. [Link]

Futility Closet » Watkin’s Folly

Sunday 3 April 6:06:53 UTC 2016

In 1890, inspired by France’s new Eiffel Tower, railway entrepreneur Sir Edward Watkin proposed building an even larger tower at Wembley as the centerpiece of a new amusement park there. He sponsored an architectural design competition that attracted 68 designs inspired by everything from the Tower of Pisa to the Great Pyramid of Giza. The winning design, number 37 (center), … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » From the heart of beautiful downtown Juneau, Alaska it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker, starting at 9PM AKDT/10PM PT [Live]

Sunday 3 April 5:19:55 UTC 2016

Live [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Copycat Art Scratcher Lets Cats Scratch the 'Mona Lisa'

Sunday 3 April 4:30:00 UTC 2016

Finally: cat-proof art. [Link]

Weird Universe » Which Way Did They Go?

Sunday 3 April 3:52:21 UTC 2016

You are out at an Easter egg hunt and you see a police helicopter searching the area. Then you see two men running away, what do you do? These kids knew just what to do. They formed an arrow on the ground to point the police in the right direction. Yes, the cops got the criminals. Great job kids! [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 3 April 2:48:30 UTC 2016

Today, for the first time, I made a guy get a boner and make out with me. This would've been great if it hadn't been a dream, and if the guy in question hadn't been my brother. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Q: How much do Doctors make? A: More than you [Obvious]

Sunday 3 April 2:41:06 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [183 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Long Life (and Slow Death?) of the Prank Phone Call [Sad]

Sunday 3 April 2:23:02 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » American mosque attacked, dozens reported injured [Scary]

Sunday 3 April 1:54:01 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Norway advertising campaign uses Hitler, Gaddafi and Kim Jong-il teddy bears to scare parents… about dust. Because what's controversial about associating the world's worst human scum with cute teddy bears [Facepalm]

Sunday 3 April 1:47:09 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shake your head in disagreement or raise your hand to make a point? We must now vote on your removal comrade for violation of safe space policy 6c, inappropriate movements during a debate [Asinine]

Sunday 3 April 1:20:10 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [155 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Husband obviously got his inspiration from Kathy Bates and the movie "Misery" when he tied his wife to a bunk bed and smashed her ankles with a hammer so she wouldn't escape [Sick]

Sunday 3 April 1:01:09 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [43 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 3 April 0:38:18 UTC 2016

Today, the coach bus I was riding almost crashed. I was using the restroom at the time. The bus braked so hard, I peed all over the wall and splashed my shirt. Nobody wanted to sit anywhere near me after that. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this little brat in a cage [Photoshop]

Sunday 3 April 0:30:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Man Turns 'Super Mario World' into 'Flappy Bird'

Sunday 3 April 0:30:00 UTC 2016

Computer science + endurance = wow! [Link]

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